Do Girls Like Shy Guys: Is Shyness an Attractive Trait or a Turn Off?

You aren’t an outgoing person, so you are wondering, “do girls like shy guys?” Here is all you need to know about what girls like and how to be less shy.

Do Girls Like Shy Guys

Shy guys are loveable. But do girls like shy guys?

Almost all girls feel safe, and dare we say it, even confident around the typical shy guy.

And shy guys are every girl’s dream conversationalist. They hardly talk, and they’re really good at just listening to the girl.

Girls like that. They definitely love a cute shy guy who can just watch them, smile to himself, and listen to everything they have to say without trying to advise them!

[Read: What do girls like in guys? 30 traits that make a guy a real catch]

Do girls like shy guys who don’t make a bold move?

Yes, girls definitely like shy guys.

But almost always, girls fall for a shy guy when they’re still in school or in the early years of college, and definitely not in a workplace.

Girls get crushes on cute shy guys because they’re so mysterious and different from all the other typical guys who try to behave like bold smooth talkers.

But as soon as a great guy starts to pursue a girl, she forgets about the shy guy because, well, he’s just not doing anything to stand out or even prove that he likes her.

So if you’re a shy guy, learn to use the opportunity of first impressions!

Girls are intrigued by shy guys. And even the smallest gesture by a shy guy can make a huge difference to a girl, especially if she likes him already. [Read: 13 subtle eye contact flirting moves to catch a girl’s eyes from afar]

When are shy guys better than confident guys?

You’re probably a shy guy, so you’d obviously want to know your advantages over the regular guys. So let’s take a look at them.

1. Shy guys make better friends

They’re good listeners and they’re very considerate, which girls love. But you obviously don’t want to be her friend, so this isn’t a good sign if you’re slipping into the friend zone. If you want to date a girl, you need to let her know that! [Read: 18 clear signs you’re in a girl’s friend zone already]

2. Shy guys make better sex buddies

Girls feel powerful around shy guys. Cozy up with a girl, netflix and chill, or have a few drinks with a girl and if she likes you, she won’t think twice about taking the lead and getting naughty with you. And if you’re just looking for a fling thing, you’d definitely like it too! [Read: How to date casually without getting attached – 25 hurt-free rules]

3. Girls definitely like a guy who’s shy at first but opens up after a few conversations

They definitely don’t like a guy who’s shy in the first conversation and shy after that too. Now almost all the time, even the shyest of guys open up after a couple of conversations, so you don’t have to worry there.

What do girls want in a great guy and do shy guys have it?

Now, shy guys have a lot of good sides to them. They’re more empathetic, sensitive, and caring, and girls like their company. But to fall for a guy, there are three things that a girl needs in a boyfriend material. [Read: The 33 traits in a good boyfriend all girls desire and want]

1. A guy who can protect her

Although we are not living in ancient times, there are a lot of girls who like a guy who can be protective. It’s just human nature. Traditionally – and even biologically – men are physically stronger than women, which means they provide a means of protection from “enemies.”

2. A guy she can depend on

No girl likes to feel like she’s alone. If she needs her tire changed or to have some soup brought to her if she’s sick, she wants to know that she can count on a guy to help her out.

3. A guy who can pursue and woo her

Similar to the fact that girls like a guy to protect her, she also wants a guy to pursue her. It’s biologically normal for the man to be the “chaser” and the woman to be the “chasee.” It makes her feel like she is a prize. [Read: What is masculinity? 19 really manly traits women really hope to see in you]

Now these three things that every girl needs may seem simple, but this is where almost every shy guy fails. Do you really think you have the bold presence of a guy who can protect the girl from any trouble when she’s with you? 

Do you think she can depend on you to sort any issue out for her? And if you’re so shy that you can’t even have a conversation with her, can you really woo her and impress her by pursuing her when she’s playing hard to get?

Well, shy guys fail miserably in all three requirements. And that’s where a perfect shy guy who is every girl’s dream loses a great girl and ends up becoming her friend instead of her boyfriend. [Read: How to stop being shy around your crush and get her full attention]

The bad side of a shy guy that’ll put off a girl

Girls have no problems with shy guys. But these bad traits of a shy guy can put off anyone, not just a girl you like. [Read: 25 biggest dating turn offs for girls almost all girls hate]

1. The problem with shy guys is that they have no balls

They can’t take a stand for anything. They’d rather stand on the sidelines than take center stage. And do you remember what we said earlier about girls liking a guy to can protect her?

Well, if you have no balls, then you can’t protect her, right? So, you need to man up and be what she needs.

2. Shy guys are very accommodating and give in to any problem just to avoid any kind of conflict

Even if anyone insults them, they’d pretend like they’re not affected by it when in reality they’d be furious inside their shy heads.

Women want a man who can stand up to a conflict, not one with implosive anger who shies away from it *no pun intended*. Being kind and accommodating is one thing, but being a doormat or pushover is another. [Read: How to not be a nice guy and go from a pushover to an achiever]

3. Shy guys would rather give up than fight

And they think they’re peace-loving when they’re just too chicken-hearted in reality.

Girls don’t respect a guy who doesn’t have any courage. If you are going to protect her, then you need to be brave and be willing to fight.

Not that we’re encouraging physical violence, but you should be able to stand up for yourself – and for her, if you have to. [Read: 22 big signs of a weak man in a relationship that may surprise you]

4. They have to be peeled back, layer by layer

It takes too much time for a girl to get to know a shy guy. When great girls can get any guy they want, would a girl really be interested in counseling you and trying to make you a better man when they can be pampered and treated like a queen by any bold guy they want?

5. Shy guys don’t have confidence around other people, especially other dominant guys

If another guy tried to flirt with your girlfriend, would you have the courage to make a stand and put the other guy in place?

If you can’t even stand up for yourself, how can you stand up for the girl in your arms?

How to turn your shyness into an advantage

Your shyness could create a lot of difficulties for you, especially when it comes to dating a great girl who’s out of your league. But here are a few immediate tips you could use to tilt the shyness to your advantage. [Read: How to get a girl who’s out of your league and impress her even if you’re shy]

1. Become a quiet guy

Turn your shyness into confidence. Don’t let anyone think you’re shy. Instead, make it appear like you’re just a quiet guy who likes his own space. 

2. Make it appear like you’re bold

Talk less, but don’t let anyone know your heart’s beating like a hummingbird inside. Avoid being nervous and jittery, instead, reply in short sentences that make you appear confident.

3. Brave up and talk to her

This is inevitable. You need to man up and talk to her at least once. Get introduced through a friend if you have to.

After that, woo her through texts and DMs. Pursue the girl silently by avoiding long conversations face to face at the beginning and focus all your attention on your texts and gifts. Eventually, you’ll feel comfortable enough to open up and be yourself in front of her. [Read: The first text to a girl – 19 sweet and funny ways to text her and leave her smiling]

4. Walk with a purpose

Shy guys can actually come off as extremely confident as long as they move purposefully and appear composed. Walk tall, never stoop, and don’t bother trying to get anyone’s attention but that one girl who matters.

5. Don’t tell the girl that you’re a shy guy

Telling a girl that you’re shy can work against your favor!

She’ll immediately get way more confident and behave aloof. By pretending to be a quiet guy, you can appear mysterious and more appealing to any girl. [Read: How to be mysterious and leave everyone smitten and craving for more]

The easy and better way out – Don’t be the shy guy

It’s not easy being a shy guy. Many people are shy, so they know how hard it can be to change. But the only way to have better opportunities in life is by trying hard to eliminate that shy side of yours.

All of us have been shy guys and shy girls at some point in time. Some lose that trait in their childhood while others lose it in their teens. The earlier you realize the need to change, the faster you can become a better man who can feel confident in his own shoes. [Read: How to be a better man by using a role model]

Here are all the steps that can help you lose the shy guy tag with a bit of effort.

1. Open up to people

Make an effort to open up early to people. What’s the point in waiting for a few meetings to be friendly?

Shy guys are cute friends, and not cute boyfriends. A shy guy may seem cute in his teens, but anything beyond that and you’d end up being isolated and walked over by everyone.

2. Get introduced to girls

Talk to girls even if you’re not interested in dating them. Sometimes, you need a few warm-up lessons by talking to girls you’re not interested in to feel more confident about your own abilities and prepare yourself for the girl you’re going to fall in love with. [Read: How shy guys can get over their hover hands]

3. Don’t be afraid of being judged

Make new friends. Get your head out of your ass and stop trying so hard to save face. Even babies fall so they can learn to walk. You’re a grown man, and it’s time you took a few chances and risks. So what if you say something stupid?

Most shy guys avoid opening up to people because they assume they have nothing important to add. Or they stay quiet because they assume they’ll appear dumb if they speak too much. 

Don’t be afraid to reveal who you really are. You may be shy, but you’re still a great guy who can share so much with his friends and the world. [Read: How to start a conversation with a girl – 20 rules to instantly impress her]

4. Girls are just like you

Only they have lady parts. Remember that girls are a part of the human species too. They like guys just as much as you like girls. 

They want to make a good impression on you just as much as you want to make an impression on them. Some girls may have more confidence, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be more confident with a few tries.

5. Make a few mistakes and learn from it

The dumbest shy guys are the ones who know they’re shy and yet don’t do anything to open up. They’re afraid of failure and rejection and end up hiding in their own little world and bitch about how unfair the world is to them. 

Don’t be that guy. It’s alright to fall a few times before you start walking. It’s alright to get rejected a few times before you meet the perfect girl too! [Read: How to overcome your fear of rejection and grow up]

6. Pay attention to your hygiene and fashion

Many shy guys don’t really pay attention to their looks too much. They are so busy being self-conscious about their personality that they don’t think about things like their hairstyle or fashion.

But girls like a guy who takes care of himself. They don’t want someone with greasy, long hair who dresses like a slob and smells like he hasn’t showered in days. That just screams “I’m shy and not confident!” So, get a new haircut and some trendy clothes. This will help you feel better about yourself. [Read: 20 things women always look for in a man before falling for him]

7. Try to figure out why you are shy

There are many different reasons you are shy. It could be your genetics, outside substances like medication, environmental influences *like a shy family*, or a traumatic social experience in life *or even more than one*. [Read: How to stop being shy – 20 ways to kick your shyness to the curb]

Let’s say that you’re shy because of traumatic experiences. You should try to work through and process those so you can put them into perspective.

Or, if you think that you’re shy because of your upbringing, examine your relationship with your parents now. You might be able to grow past it.

8. Work on your self-esteem

Regardless of the reasons that you are shy, one of the major common denominators is that shy guys usually don’t feel very good about themselves – that’s why it’s difficult for them to put themselves out there with girls.

So, you should work on your self-esteem so you feel better about yourself.

Write down all the great qualities you have and focus on those, not on the things you don’t like about yourself. And you might even want to try seeing a therapist to help you. [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 easy hacks to realize you’re worth it]

9. Identify your triggers

What is it that makes you shy? Is it a certain type of girl that makes you feel that way, such as an outgoing, confident girl? Do you feel the same way about shy girls? Or maybe you only get shy when you want to ask a girl out. 

You should try to figure out exactly what makes you “run for cover” when it comes to girls. Once you do this, you can come up with a plan of action for improving yourself and appearing less shy. [Read: Nervous sweating – Recognize the triggers and stop the stress sweats]

10. Make eye contact and smile

Body language is so important. People can tell how someone feels about themselves just by looking at them. So, it’s important that you try to figure out what kind of message you are sending girls through the nonverbal gestures you are making.

Do you find it difficult to make eye contact with girls you like? If so, try doing it more often. This shows confidence. And if you’re too shy to smile, try to force one anyway. Smiling shows that you are friendly, and girls like that.

[Read: How to ask a girl out when you’re a shy guy]

So, do girls like shy guys? Of course, they do, just as long as the guy can be a confident shy guy. But if you can’t be that guy, just follow these tips and you’ll definitely turn over a new leaf and get any girl you like with a little effort.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...