What Girls Find Attractive: 20 Traits that Make You Irresistible

Everyone is looking for love, but not everyone knows how to find it. If you need some help finding a partner, here’s what girls find attractive.

what girls find attractive

We’ve all been there. You want to find a partner, but sometimes it feels like you just strike out every time. Or even if you don’t feel like that, maybe the girl you’ve been crushing on isn’t returning your affection. And so, you’re left wondering what girls find attractive.

What girls find attractive in a guy

While I can’t speak for the whole female species, I would be willing to bet that if I took a survey, most would agree with this list of 20 things that girls find attractive. But let me warn you – the list may not look like what you were expecting.

#1 Personality. Girls are suckers for a great personality. However, that’s not to say that you can be a sweaty, dirty, gross person who doesn’t take care of himself. No. It’s not a free pass to stop taking care of yourself physically.

But girls are really drawn in to a guy who has a charming personality. [Read: How to get a girlfriend 101 – 11 tips to make that happen]

#2 Sense of humor. Sometimes, this is part of the personality, but sometimes it’s not. You can be very charming, but have no sense of humor. And I’m not just talking about cracking joke after joke after joke. It goes beyond that. Girls want someone who can laugh at himself, and laugh at life. Everyone loves to laugh, and it’s contagious!

#3 Intelligence. No girl wants to go out with a guy who merely grunts his way through a “conversation.” We want to talk about hopes and dreams… or maybe even religion and politics. When a guy knows his stuff and can hold up his end of the conversation and actually make us think, we find that really sexy. Smart is sexy. Oh yes, that’s what girls find attractive. [Read: How to keep a conversation going with a girl you really like]

#4 Kindness. Do you stop when you see a baby to oooh and ahhh and say how cute she is? Do you help old ladies cross the street? Do you open the door for a disabled person? We love when you have a good heart and you help people around you. It makes us melt.

#5 Empathy. Girls want you to be able to feel what they feel. If they’re having a bad day, you should not only ask her what’s going on, but tell her you understand what she’s going through. She’ll need a shoulder to lean on.

So, try to stay away from your instinctual need to solve her problems, and just give her some empathy. By the way, this also applies to showing empathy to other people too.

#6 Strength. There’s physical strength, and then there’s emotional strength. Girls love both. They think it’s sexy when you can literally sweep them off their feet and carry them around, but they also love it when you are their emotional rock. But be careful… emotional strength does not mean that you should have no emotions. Remember that.

#7 Independence. But not too much. What I mean here is that girls don’t like needy, clingy guys. While we do want our boyfriends to show continual, genuine interest in us *and want to spend time with us*. If you are too eager, it looks like you don’t have your own life. And we don’t find that attractive. [Read: How to be the “hot guy” – 20 rules for instant hotness]

#8 Good hygiene. This one should be obvious, but I know many guys who just sit around their house all weekend getting greasy and stinky and don’t bother to shower until Monday morning. Ewwwww. Yuck. Just don’t do it. Take care of yourself!

#9 Cleanliness. Girls don’t like slobs. They are not your mother, so they should not have to clean up after you. It’s not that hard to carry your dirty dish from the bedroom and put it into the dishwasher. Vacuum once in a while. Keep up with the dusting. If you don’t, she’ll have to, and then she will be resentful when she has to do it all. Not having to act like your mother is definitely what girls find attractive.

#10 Self-awareness. Girls want to know their boyfriend – mind, body, and soul. But if he is not self-aware, then he can’t share his innermost self with her. We want a guy who knows who he is and why he behaves the way he does. We also want him to be articulate about it, so we can understand him on a deep level. [Read: Why don’t girls like me? 9 reasons she’s just not into you]

#11 Vulnerability. There’s nothing worse than a guy who just can’t open up and be vulnerable. In order to love someone, that’s kind of a requirement. Sure, you can be together and have sex.

But girls want a guy who genuinely, deeply cares about them and are vulnerable enough to put themselves out there. This quality is on the top of the list of what girls find attractive.

#12 Ability to love. Some guys seem void of emotion. They may say those two words “love you,” but there really seems to be no feeling behind them. Love means many things, such as saying those words and also doing things for the one you love. Girls want a guy who can really show their love.

#13 Non-judgmental. No one likes to be criticized. And imagine if you were dating a person who was constantly judging you? Not fun. Girls want a guy who doesn’t judge them. Heck, they want a guy who doesn’t judge anyone. Why? Because it means they are kind and empathetic, which are some aforementioned qualities we want. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]

#14 Emotional maturity. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. We don’t want a guy who is petty and picks fights. We want a man who can take personal responsibility and understands the important things in life. Immature behavior is a real turn-off. This is definitely what girls find attractive.

#15 Passion. And I don’t just mean sexual passion *although girls want that too*. We want a guy with a passion for everything – life, his career, his family, his hobbies – and most of all, his girlfriend. A guy who is just ho-hum about these things is wildly unattractive to girls.

#16 Healthy sex drive. Hey, it’s the 21st century! It’s okay for girls to admit that they like sex. And trust me, they do. There’s nothing worse that dating a guy with a low sex drive. It makes us feel unattractive and unlovable. So, show her your love by making love to her on a regular basis. [Read: 11 moves to seduce women and get them in bed with you]

#17 Healthy in general. Don’t worry, you don’t have to start working on your six-pack. Girls don’t need a body builder. But we would like someone who cares about their body. That means that you don’t come home from work and stuff a whole pizza in your mouth, followed by a package of Oreos and a 12-pack of beer. Love your body and take care of it… for us.

#18 Stable. Don’t be the kind of guy who goes from job to job to job. Or who has fantasies of running 10 businesses while you’re still living in your parents’ basement playing video games all day. Girls want a guy who is solid, dedicated, and stable. It makes us feel safe, and we respect stability. [Read: 15 things women look for in a man before falling for him]

#19 Fun-loving. It’s always great to be pushed outside of our comfort zones once in a while. So, it’s fun when a guy helps us do that. We want to hear, “Hey babe, it’ll be fun! Let’s give it a try!” Everyone likes to have fun, and girls want to do exciting things with their boyfriends.

#20 Physical attractiveness. Did you notice that I put this one last on the list? It’s not because attractiveness isn’t important. But it is subjective. What’s attractive to one girl isn’t to another. But regardless, if you have all the other 19 qualities above, your chances of her finding you attractive are way better. It all comes down to chemistry, and the “whole package.”

[Read: How to impress a girl – 15 atypical secrets you have to know]

Everyone wonders what they can do to become more attractive to the opposite sex. So now that you know what girls find attractive, you’ll find your perfect match in no time!

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...