We’ve all been there. You want to find a partner, but sometimes it feels like you just strike out every time. Or even if you don’t feel like that, maybe the woman you’ve been crushing on isn’t returning your affection. And so, you’re left wondering ‘what do girls find attractive in guys.’
If only guys had the ability to read minds, searching for their ideal lover wouldn’t be that hard anymore! But unfortunately, that’s not the reality.
The search is going to be a long one, yes. But learning how to be the ideal guy for your ideal girl is worth it! Wondering what women find attractive? Let’s find out! [Read: How to be more attractive and 31 ways to play up your best features]
While we can’t speak for the whole female species, we would be willing to bet that if we took a survey, most would agree with this list of things that girls find attractive.
But let us warn you – the list may not look like what you were expecting.
What women find attractive isn’t always about looks. Girls are suckers for a great personality. However, that’s not to say that you can be a sweaty, dirty, gross person who doesn’t take care of himself. No. It’s not a free pass to stop taking care of yourself physically.
But, girls are really drawn to a guy who has a charming personality. [Read: 20 personality traits that make the perfect ideal guy for a girl]
Sometimes, this is part of the personality, but sometimes it’s not. You can be very charming but have no sense of humor. And we’re not just talking about cracking joke after joke after joke. It goes beyond that.
Girls want someone who can laugh at themselves, and laugh at life. Everyone loves to laugh, and it’s contagious!
Funny men are appealing to most females. Who doesn’t like spending time with a man who is always making you laugh? Even yet, you don’t have to be a stand-up comedian to be funny.
Coming up with something witty or funny out of an uncomfortable situation is what girls find attractive in guys. [Read: How to be a funny guy – 28 must-know tips that’ll make you effortlessly funny!]
No girl wants to go out with a guy who merely grunts his way through a “conversation.” We want to talk about hopes and dreams… or maybe even religion and politics. When a guy knows his stuff and can hold up his end of the conversation and actually make us think, we find that really sexy.
Smart is sexy. Oh yes, that’s what women find attractive in guys. [Read: How to keep a conversation going with a girl you really like]
Do you stop when you see a baby to oooh and ahhh and say how cute they are? Or, do you help old ladies cross the street? Do you open the door for a disabled person? We love when you have a good heart and you help people around you.
It makes us melt. Kind guys are found everywhere, but it’s rare to stay with one.
So if you found someone who is kinder than everyone else you know in this world, give him what he deserves, which is love and kindness. Surely, kindness is one of the biggest things that girls find attractive in guys. [Read: How to be kind to yourself and others and love life instead of hating it]
A huge part of what women find attractive is empathy. Women want you to be able to feel what they feel. If they’re having a bad day, you should not only ask her what’s going on but tell her you understand what she’s going through.
So, try to stay away from your instinctual need to solve her problems, and just give her some empathy. By the way, this also applies to showing empathy to other people too. [Read: How to develop empathy and master the art of growing a real heart]
There’s physical strength, and then there’s emotional strength. Girls love both and find both traits very attractive. They think it’s sexy when you can literally sweep them off their feet and carry them around, but they also love it when you are their emotional rock.
But be careful… emotional strength does not mean that you should have no emotions.
Remember that. Guys can be as strong as steel, but they can be fragile, too. And this is what makes them more human and stronger than those who are only physically strong.
But not too much. What we mean here is that girls don’t like needy, clingy guys. While we do want our boyfriends to show continual, genuine interest in us *and want to spend time with us*.
If you are too eager, it looks like you don’t have your own life. [Read: 18 serious warning signs of a clingy guy and how you can avoid being one]
This one should be obvious, but we know many guys who just sit around their house all weekend getting greasy and stinky and don’t bother to shower until Monday morning. Ewwwww. Yuck. Just don’t do it.
Take care of yourself! If you have poor hygiene, you won’t be able to attract the girl you want. If you want to know what women find attractive, it boils down to cleanliness! [Read: How to never lose your sex appeal]
Girls don’t like slobs. They are not your mother, so they should not have to clean up after you. It’s not that hard to carry your dirty dish from the bedroom and put it into the dishwasher.
Vacuum once in a while. Keep up with the dusting. If you don’t, she’ll have to, and then she will be resentful when she has to do it all. We are not in the old times when women mostly do the cleaning.
Someone who is organized with his stuff speaks a lot about his personality and that is a big factor if you’re curious about what girls find attractive in guys. [Read: How to be a better boyfriend and 28 ways to make your girl feel lucky in love]
Girls want to know their boyfriend – mind, body, and soul. But if he is not self-aware, then he can’t share his innermost self with her. We want a guy who knows who he is and why he behaves the way he does.
We also want him to be articulate about it, so we can understand him on a deep level.
If you don’t know who you are or are unsure of your feelings, do you think the women you like will fall in love with you? We don’t think so. [Read: Why don’t girls like me? 25 brutal reasons she’s just not into you]
There’s nothing worse than a guy who just can’t open up and be vulnerable. In order to love someone, that’s kind of a requirement.
Sure, you can be together and have sex. But girls find the trait of vulnerability very attractive and want a guy who genuinely, deeply cares about them, and is vulnerable enough to put themselves out there.
Self-disclosure promotes positive emotional and mental well-being. When you’re willing to put yourself out there, you’re also showing bravery. In order to be braver, we need to accept ourselves as we are, regardless of how we feel.
That’s what women find attractive. [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 15 ways you can open up more]
Some guys seem void of emotion. They may say those two words “love you,” but there really seems to be no feeling behind them. Love means many things, such as saying those words and also doing things for the one you love.
Girls want a guy who can really show their love and that’s what do girls find attractive in guys.
No one likes to be criticized. And imagine if you were dating a person who was constantly judging you? Not fun. Girls want a guy who doesn’t judge them.
Heck, they want a guy who doesn’t judge anyone. Why? Because it means they are kind and empathetic, which are some aforementioned qualities we want. [Read: How to make a girl laugh, smile and like you instantly]
By being non-judgmental, you can be more inclined to open up about your concerns and continue conversations with anyone. It also implies that you have better chances of supporting the girl you like in the future when she is in need.
What women find attractive is emotional maturity. This has numerous facets, but it may be defined as the ability to deal well with life’s challenges. Being emotionally mature may enhance the ability to manage the modern world and find fulfillment and pleasure in it.
We don’t want a guy who is petty and picks fights. We want a man who can take personal responsibility and understands the important things in life. This is definitely what girls find attractive. [Read: Signs of emotional maturity – 20 traits to look for in someone]
And we don’t just mean sexual passion *although girls want that too*. We want a guy with a passion for everything – life, his career, his family, his hobbies – and most of all, his girlfriend. A guy who is just ho-hum about these things is wildly unattractive to girls.
A guy who is passionate about something seems to have a clear vision of what he wants and how he intends to get it. A feeling of security may be gained by being confident.
On the contrary, one of the most satisfactory answers to “what do girls find attractive in guys?” is stability. [Read: How to find your passion – 17 secrets to seek it in simple things]
Hey, it’s the 2020s! It’s okay for girls to admit that they like sex!!
There’s nothing worse than dating a guy with a low sex drive. It makes us feel unattractive and unlovable. So, show her your love by making love to her on a regular basis. Having more sex in a supportive relationship has several perks.
Higher rates of sexual engagement have been related to favorable effects, such as lower blood pressure, less stress, more robust connection, and even a decreased divorce rate.
Don’t worry, you don’t have to start working on your six-pack. Girls don’t need a bodybuilder. But we would like someone who cares about their body.
That means that you don’t come home from work and stuff a whole pizza in your mouth, followed by a package of Oreos and a 12-pack of beer. Love your body and take care of it… for us.
Being healthy should be a lifelong commitment and it’s a trait girls find very attractive! Maintaining a healthy lifestyle may help in the prevention of chronic diseases and long-term ailments. [Read: Healthy relationship – 27 signs, qualities, and what it looks like in real life]
Don’t be the kind of guy who goes from job to job to job. Or who has fantasies of running 10 businesses while you’re still living in your parents’ basement playing video games all day? Girls want a guy who is solid, dedicated, and stable.
If you feel that your wife or girlfriend is doing all of the work to support your relationship financially, it is time for you to step up and start taking things seriously yourself. [Read: 20 things women look for in a man before falling for him]
It’s always great to be pushed outside of our comfort zones once in a while. So, it’s fun when a guy helps us do that. We want to hear, “Hey babe, it’ll be fun! Let’s give it a try!”
Everyone likes to have fun, and girls want to do exciting things with their boyfriends.
Don’t be afraid to challenge a female you like to a dance-off in the mall. Dancing in front of strangers may not be your thing, but you’ll do this for the love of the person you’re attracted to. Fun is what women find attractive!
Attractiveness isn’t important. But it is subjective. What’s attractive to one girl isn’t to another. It all comes down to chemistry, and the “whole package.”
Having a good physical appearance can be important to women because we link other great attributes with it. The more good-looking you are, the more likely you are to be happy and to enjoy your life more than someone who is less attractive.
But it’s not enough only to be physically attractive. If you want to attract the person you want, you’ll need more than just good looks. [Read: Why is physical attraction important in a relationship?]
A guy with integrity is sexy. It shows that he’s living with purpose and not afraid to stand up for what he believes in. And that’s what women find attractive in a guy. It shows emotional strength and let’s be honest, that’s really hot.
Of course, all women despise those who lie and deceive. A man’s ability to stay loyal in a relationship is highly regarded.
Being someone who can resist the urge to cheat in a culture where divorce has been acceptable makes you more appealing. Being someone with whom a girl can trust her heart is the answer to what girls find attractive in a guy. [Read: 5 unique traits that make a person trustworthy]
There’s a reason that James Bond has such a consistent following amongst the womenfolk of our world: he is the archetypal gentleman.
Women love a guy who can charm his way out of a Mexican prison with nothing but a smile and a wink, and perform all the perfunctory rituals of courtship with such aplomb that they’re melting before they even step out of the door. [Read: 67 sweet but very small gestures that show love and affection in the biggest ways]
Not only is a gentleman wonderful, but he is also patient in his actions. He does not lose his temper quickly, nor does he make snap choices. This kind of guy takes his time to consider his actions and words before doing them.
He recognizes that actions or preferences taken in the heat of the moment or out of impatience may have devastating effects for him and others around him. Believe it not, patience is what women find attractive too.
Women are also attracted to guys who are concerned about their families. When kids see a man honoring and caring for his parents or how he treats his siblings with affection, they build an appreciation for the person.
The reason for this is because they feel that a guy of this caliber would one day be a decent husband and father to his own family. All women hope to find a future partner with whom they can start a family and provide a stable environment for their children. [Read: How to impress a girl – 21 atypical secrets you have to know]
Listening is a skill that belongs to few men, but provides one of the greatest inroads to a woman’s affections. Open your ears, take an interest in what she has to say rather than mentally racking up your own stories, and observe how her trust and confidence in you grows throughout the evening.
Listening intently is a surefire way to have your breakfast ready for you in the morning and definitely what women find attractive.
At a primordial level, generosity fulfills a female need to be provided for. She will probably turn down your kind offer and ask to go halves, but the offer of paying is what’s important.
Pay for the meal, tip well, and send her home in a cab with the fare already paid. It will show her that you’re the kind of guy who knows how to take care of others—and, more to the point, her. [Read: 9 most effective ways to be a more romantic guy]
Never underestimate the power of body language to either support or undermine your efforts to impress the opposite sex. It’s a massive subject and one that can’t really be gone into too much depth here, but remember to always be in control.
Keep movements slow, sure, and minimal. Be relaxed, but keep your posture erect *no sniggers at the back please!* and ensure that your composure remains kind and unassuming. [Read: 37 body language cues a girl gives away if she likes you]
We all have an opinion, but most of us share it too strongly – unconcerned with the opposite point of view – or don’t air it at all, trying desperately not to offend anyone. Taking this tack, you’ll come across as a bully or a weakling—neither of them attractive options.
Don’t be afraid to share your opinion even if it contradicts, but always be open-minded and calm in how you approach the topic at hand. This approach will show both, your inner strength and your sensitivity, all at once–a killer combination that girls find attractive in a guy.
But of course, whatever you say, make sure you mean it. That’s what women find very attractive. [Read: How to talk to people in a charming way no matter who they are]
Like it says on the tin, you should always be respectful of a lady’s opinion when it comes to the big questions. Despite this warning, women usually want you to take control of the situation.
If there’s a decision to be made about drinks, food, venues, etc., then make sure to take charge and show off your ability to be strong without being forceful. [Read: 12 Prince Charming traits that’ll leave girls swooning]
No woman wants to sit down with a potential partner, and have to listen to a series of woes and wearisome wafflings. Negative talk is a surefire way to lose the fish off the line. Being positive, however, is generally seen as a desirable trait.
Keep the talk upbeat and show her that you’re someone who doesn’t let life get you down.
Eyes are the window to the soul, they say. Whatever your view is of that cliché, there’s no denying that eyes can speak volumes. Weak-willed or emotionally unstable people, for example, struggle to hold eye contact and most people pick up on this, and identify it as a negative trait.
Firm and unwavering eye contact, though, will not only show you to be a strong-willed and courageous man, but is also one of the strongest seduction tools available to you. [Read: How to look into a girl’s eyes without looking like a creep]
When many women hear a deep manly voice, the hairs on their neck go up. It’s hot. Many women subconsciously associate deep tones with being more masculine and gentle. What a beautiful combination!
Well, you don’t have to be 6’’ tall, but ideally, she may want you to be taller than her. Women prefer men who are taller.
It has to do with the fact that we want someone who will protect us. It gives us the sense that we are able to rely on that guy. Oh yes, unfortunately or fortunately for you, girls find this very attractive.
In general, people are attracted to those with symmetrical faces.
Humans like symmetry, because well, everything in nature is symmetrical. It shows that he comes from strong genes. At the end of the day, subconsciously, it’s about finding a suitable mate. [Read: Real attractiveness – 20 do’s and don’ts that play a very big part]
But not creepy-friendly. There’s a line between being nice and looking into a restraining order. When women first meet a guy, they actually prefer it if they’re a little guarded. Many women have been hit on at bars where the guy is just waaaay too friendly.
And you know what happens? Nothing. They walk away. So be nice, but don’t get pushy and make a girl uncomfortable as soon as she warms up to you.
Bearded men are actually seen as better father material and show masculinity, sexual maturity, and leadership. So now that you know this is what women find attractive, try to grow one yourself. [Read: Guys with beards – 12 reasons why they make the best boyfriends]
There is nothing worse than talking to a guy who won’t open up to you. Women are interested in men who are willing to be vulnerable in a conversation.
This doesn’t mean the guy has to tell a girl his deepest darkest secrets, but just the ability to be able to have a conversation that’s deeper than a kiddie pool is a trait that girls find very attractive.
Women want men that can take charge when necessary. That doesn’t mean we want someone who’s going to control our every step and make our decisions for us.
But when we can’t figure out what restaurant to have dinner at, it’s nice to have someone that’ll help out and pick a place. [Read: 30 alpha male characteristics that make you a real alpha]
You don’t have to have a lot of money. But what you have to have is the drive to make something of yourself. That also doesn’t mean your goal has to be CEO or a famous actor – it just has to be the drive to want better for yourself.
That shows that you’re a provider and that you have self-respect.
Women can be horrible clingers, but so can men. We want someone who’s independent and has their own life. Not someone who literally can’t sleep at night without knowing what TV show you’re watching. [Read: Stage 5 clinger – 13 clear signs you’re just not wanted anymore]
We all have our own insecurities, however, that doesn’t make us less of a person. Confidence is what divides people from the ones we’re interested in and the ones we’re not. Confidence is key.
Have you seen a guy walk into a room with his head held high? It’s damn sexy. [Read: Chick magnet alert – What makes a guy the real total package?]
It isn’t really that you are a trendy guy or that you have the latest clothes. Being a good dresser is about knowing what your style is and owning it. If you are a ripped jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, then stay that way.
You aren’t going to impress her by picking up a fashion magazine and wearing something that isn’t “you.” Being comfortable with yourself includes being comfortable with your own sense of style. [Read: How to get a girl to notice you and like you without even talking to her]
Knowing appropriate behavior is highly attractive. Remembering the basics – please and thank you, is super-attractive. Also, make sure that you always treat the waiter with kindness and respect – she will notice if you don’t!
Every girl wants her Prince Charming. That doesn’t mean that you have to sweep her off her feet at every date or conduct yourself impeccably, but it is very attractive when you show respect for a woman by pulling out her chair or opening the door.
Not just at the restaurant, but also opening her car door and ordering for her if the occasion is appropriate. Women find someone who will take care of them and consider them admirable, and very attractive. [Read: What is chivalry? The real meaning, the Knights code and modern men]
If you want a girl to find you attractive, don’t pull out a cigarette when picking her up for a date or get sloppy drunk when you are out. It isn’t that we don’t want a guy who parties, but there is nothing attractive about an obnoxious drunk.
It just tells us that you have very little self-control. When you are trying to get to know a girl, take the time to get to know each other before you pull all the skeletons out of the closet and show the worst qualities you have. It isn’t tough or cool to be a loud-mouth smoking drunk; it is just ugly.
There is nothing that is more attractive to a woman than a guy who smells good. That is easier said than done. We want to get a whiff of your manly scent, but we also don’t want to be overpowered by your cologne.
Somewhere in between is perfect. If you are going out for the night apply some cologne, but just enough to leave her with a little hint, not a bad taste in her mouth because it is so heavy she can taste it. [Read: 50 cute and sexy things guys do that girls love]
No girl wants a guy who is all over them on the first, second, or third date. A girl finds a guy who can control his urges – but still lets her know he is interested – most attractive. Sound confusing?
If you want to be attractive to a woman, then it is the soft and sensual touch that we like – not the groping, sexual innuendos that are inappropriate, or shoving your tongue down her throat. [Read: How to touch a girl on a date and make her desire you]
One of the most attractive things a guy can do is to find out what a girl likes to do and make a date to do it. Consideration and spontaneity are two highly attractive characteristics to a girl.
It shows them that you aren’t shallow or self-absorbed, and that you care about what she wants and likes. [Read: How to win a girl’s heart and impress her effortlessly]
Remember that every girl is different. What one girl finds attractive, another may find a turn off. But, it’s important always to be yourself.
Bear the traits and qualities on this list in mind and adhere to as many as possible, but don’t change who you are at your very core. She will notice and being someone you’re not isn’t attractive at all.
[Read: How to be yourself – 26 steps to unfake your life and love being you]
Everyone wonders what they can do to become more attractive to the opposite sex. So now that you know what girls find attractive, you’ll find your perfect match in no time!
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