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How to Approach a Girl You Don’t Know and Impress Her

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Do you want to talk to a girl you don’t know? Here are 5 ways on how to approach a girl that will definitely help you make a great first impression. By Keith Brown

how to approach a girl

Walking up to a girl you’ve never spoken to before is like taking a dip in icy water.

It makes you nervous.

Your heart starts beating faster than you can count.

And your stomach inches closer to your tongue with each step you take.

But as a guy, knowing how to approach a girl is one of the most important things to know in the dating world.

Now I’m not going to make this any more difficult that you already assume it to be.

Yes, talking to a girl who’s a stranger is not easy.

But then again, if you know just how to do it without appearing like you’re picking her up, you’ll realize just how easy the whole game can be.

[Read: 12 ways to get a girl's attention wherever you are]

How to approach a girl you don’t know

Forget pick up lines, forget bumping into her, and every other *smart* move you’ve heard.

I’ll teach you to keep it simple, and help you win her heart even before you say ‘hello’.

Here’s the only tip that matters and you need to remember it for the rest of your dating life. Always let the girl know you want to talk to her before you even talk to her. Don’t make the mistake of approaching a girl out of the blue and asking her out. It almost always never works, unless you’re a smooth talker with the gift of gab. [Read: Easy ways to get a girl to notice you and like you without even talking to her]

If you’re a regular joe who wants to turn into a chick magnet, just follow these steps and you’ll win her attention before you finish your drink!

Getting her attention

You need to let the girl know you’re going to approach her. So warm her up to that idea to begin with by using these steps.

#1 Glance at her. Look at her now and then just to let her know that you’re trying to catch her attention. Be sneaky and discreet, and always look away just as soon as she catches your eye. You’ll rouse her curiosity and that’ll force her to look at you now and then to see if you’re still watching her. [Read: 10 eye contact flirting moves that always work]

#2 The eye contact. Each time she looks at you, look at her and immediately look away sheepishly. Continue to look at her now and then, and once in a while, lock your gaze at her for a small fraction of a second and look away again. By doing this, you’re already building the sexual attraction. But if she doesn’t reciprocate here, she’s probably not interested in you.  [Read: 20 things that turn a girl on and gets her interested in a guy]

#3 Appear awkward. If you’re with your friends, look at her now and then, but appear like your distracted and not able to focus on the conversation you’re having with your friends. By doing that, you’re making her see that she’s on your mind and you’re too distracted to focus on your friends. That’s subtle flattery!

#4 Smile at her. Exchange eye contact now and then, one or two times every minute and no more than that, and when you feel pretty courageous, flash a tiny smile from the corner of your lip for a second, and let her notice your smile. Don’t give her a big grin though, a malicious big grin at this stage will scare any girl away.

These moves are all about building the connection and letting her know you’re interested in her. And at the same time, it’ll also help you understand if she too is really interested in you. If she responds to your gestures similarly, it’s a sign that she’s interested in talking to you too.

But if she starts ignoring you at any point here, she’s probably not interested in you and you need to make your luck somewhere else. [Read: A step-by-step guide on how to ask a girl out if you're a shy guy]

How to start talking to the girl

Now that you’ve built the attraction and the chemistry, all you need to do is walk up to her and say something. Use these tips to approach her and start the right conversation.

#1 Waiting for the moment. Sometimes, all you need to do is wait for the girl to give you a chance to talk to her. If she’s really interested in you and wants to talk to you, she’d create enough opportunities for you to walk up to her. She could do this by walking to the ladies room alone, stepping away from her friends by answering a phone call, or even by just smiling at you and leaving the place.

It’s always easier to talk to a girl when she’s by herself. There are no distractions from her friends or awkward moments because she’s already expecting you to approach her. [Read: Things you can say to a girl while talking to her for the first time]

#2 Picking her up from afar. Gesticulate. Use the right gestures to get her attention. This is tricky, but as long as you get the message across, it’ll still work as long as you do it confidently.

Look straight at her, and smile. Jerk your neck sideways just a little bit after you lock your eyes with her, and using your eyes, point her to the bar counter or some exit. Even if she doesn’t get it, you can walk up to the place you were pointing at by yourself, and she’ll know what you mean.

Not all girls may appreciate you gesticulating at her and asking her to walk up to you, but if you’ve built the chemistry from afar, she’d be more than happy to get away from her friends and give you a chance to talk to her. [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]

#3 The group of girls. Walk up to her with your gaze fixed on her confidently. Walk right into the herd, but look straight at her and only her. Look at anyone else, and the envious friends would pounce on you with snide remarks because you didn’t pick them to flirt with.

“Hey… I really don’t mean to interrupt you girls, but could I speak with you for a minute? I just won’t be able to forgive myself if I left this place without getting to know you…”

Use any line you want and it’ll work as long as you say it firmly, but remember to make her feel special by saying something that reveals how badly you want to get to know her. And unless her friends seem to take your side by nudging her towards you or by smiling widely, completely avoid looking at them. You’d only be asking for trouble. [Read: 15 things girls look for in a guy to fall for him]

#4 Buy her a drink. This is something that can work very well at a bar, as long as you’ve already built the eye staring up and roused her interest. Buy her the same drink she’s already having, and ask the waiter to offer it to her. The waiter will probably drop a corny and grand message like “the gentleman sitting over there would like to offer you this drink…”

When she accepts the drink and looks towards you smiling, that’s your cue. Don’t wait any longer or she’ll think you’re a coward. But if you buy her a drink without building the connection first, you’ll just come off as a creepy guy. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for girls]

#5 A twosome. If there are just two girls, walk right up to them while staring at the girl you like. If the girl’s interested in you too, her friend will slip away quietly with an excuse. But even if the friend decides to stay, just introduce yourself and say something similar to the line used in #3. But this time, include the girl’s friend in your conversation and make her feel good about herself too. But don’t forget to keep the focus on the girl you like!

Keep these conversation moves in mind and it’ll definitely do you good. But if you want to make sure it works all the time, build the tension and the mystery first with your glances and your eye contact. You’ll always end up impressing the girl even before you approach her.

[Read: How to find out if a girl likes you in 12 subtle ways]

Use these tips on how to approach a girl you don’t know and with a few attempts, you’ll have no trouble walking up to any girl you like and impressing her within minutes of making eye contact with her!


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Have your say!
  • aliasbed
    October 24, 2012 | Permalink |

    wonderful tips this is going to work perfectly for me I’ve been gazing at a girl at my new school and shes realized it just that shes always around her friends I think this would work

    thanks in advance.

  • Alex
    December 3, 2012 | Permalink |

    WRONG!
    If you make eye contact with a girl and look away…she WILL view that as a low status BOY – only some cutesie boy like Bieber could make this mistake and still survive.

    BE THE MAN! Glance at her, warm smile and maintain eye contact. If she smiles back, mouth the word “Hello!”. If she reciprocates with even just a smile, that’s as close as a woman is going to get to saying “Get yourself over here and introduce yourself NOW!!”

  • Badman
    December 19, 2012 | Permalink |

    thanks for the tips they seem very useful i hope they work on the girl ireally love Thanks again

  • Sankalp
    December 31, 2012 | Permalink |

    Its 100% working guys, even I have also tried these steps and it works, u can also try this but make sure that you have confidence.

    Thank you guys, really thank you!

  • dave
    January 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    Since fewer and fewer guys are approaching women these days, maybe because they are fed up with the game and its rules, do we wonder why the simple act of walking up to a women to ( hopefully?) start a conversation is called “working your way OUT of your comfort zone” ?

  • Vanessa
    January 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m not usually one to accept the verdict of relationships websites, but this article that I came across does hold a valid point. And it’s clearly explained.

    The main reason why I’m writing this is to respond to Alex and Dave.

    @Alex, please don’t send out the wrong idea to readers, especially when you don’t seem to be the kind of guy who understands the way dating works. You should never look at a girl and stare at her on the very first eye contact. She’ll think you’re a creepy pervert. It’s always better to look a few times and rouse her curiosity so she’s aware of you. And occasional stares always make for good warm up before the long stares if you don’t want to scare a girl off.

    And @Dave, picking a perfect partner isn’t a silly game. It’s a test of compatibility. The guy and the girl have expectations from their prospective partners. Of course, you can walk up to a girl and talk to her. And that’s what the author says too! But let her know you exist before you walk up to her. No one likes a stranger who appears out of the blue to ask a girl for a dance. It’s just weird!

  • dave
    January 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    Ms. Vanessa – You sound very logical and forthright, but the double standard still exists ( we just gloss over it?) that I have to let HER know that I exist? When does she get to let me know that SHE exists? And,of course, I will not hold my breath waiting for a woman to buy me a drink.
    I know, this is not silly, it is about compatibility!

  • February 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    Being laid back and super cool as if you’re kind of pretending that you’re not interested at all always helps build up that massive attraction in her eyes. And, by the way, the only two best tips that I can give you to achieve this are:

    1. Practice being comfortable with openly expressing your true sexual desires towards the girl that really sexually excites you and interests you

    TIP: The easiest way you can do this is quite simply by observing the hottest or the sexiest parts of the body of the girl that really sexually excites you. For example, you can visit places like salsa parties, aerobic lessons or beauty shows where you’d turn up as a pure observer and then simply fearlessly stare at the girls’ bodies that you see.

    Do that for about 20-30 minutes, and man, I guarantee you that after you leave that place and go out to hang around other girls, you’ll soon turn into a sex magnet to girls who immediately feel your true sexual vibes that you’ve earlier accumulated by just observing those hot female dancers.

    Don’t be surprised if the girls around you start to playfully smile at you out of blue, because that will be a very good sign that you have already managed to effortlessly sexually attract them.

    2. What I am now going to tell you as my tip actually goes hand in hand with the tip 1.
    And, I warmly recommend that you do this tip everytime you are about to enter a new situation or a new opportunity to see or meet girls.

    And, by the way, this tip that’s called “emptying your mind” is the simplest life-changing tip that you’ll ever learn in your entire life because it will do two important things for you:

    a) it will instantly free you or liberate you from all your fears, approach anxiety or being stuck in that frustrating friend zone

    b) it will help you do or say the right thing in the right moment because thanks to this tip you are going to be totally focused on what’s going on in your life right now.

    In other words, the emptying your mind exercise will help you unleash that superhero’s intelligence from inside you the way that you’ll be able to perform or achieve anything to the best of your abilities or to your fullest potential. Why?

    Because your brain will be completely emptied from all the negative feelings and thoughts so that when the real opportunity for you to meet a girl comes you’re going to be able to act and perform to the best of your abilities or to the best of all your knowledge that’s stored in your brain with no fears, no worries and no approach anxiety any longer.

    One of the main reasons that we sometimes get very clumsy or less confident at doing some tasks is exactly because of the fact that our brain was full of negative thoughts telling us that we cannot do this or that because of our made-up excuses, doubts or fears for example.

    So, when you enter any new situation where you can meet girls after you’ve previously emptied your mind, you’ll be able to approach any girl you like as easy as 1-2-3 because you won’t be scared, worried or doubtful about anything and will therefore do what you have to do in order to achieve your goal. It’s that simple.

    How to do the emptying your mind exercise?

    You’d simply go to a quiet place as soon as I start feeling worried, frightened, nervous or start panicking because of either something that’s happening in your life right now or something that’s about to happen.

    Now, the way you could empty your mind is quite simply through doing one of four following things:

    1. If you believe in God, you could do a very short prayer asking God to free you from all your fears, worries and panic attacks. And, after you’ve done that short prayer, you would simply go quiet and fully enjoy that regenerating peace that brings you back to the most natural and the most normal state of your mind.

    2. If you don’t believe in God, that’s absolutely fine. In that case, you could do exactly the same thing as said under 1. but this time you’d be talking to the Universe instead of God.

    3. If you don’t prefer talking to either God or Universe, then you could simply do a very short self-talk by kind of ordering all your fears, worries or panic attacks to immediately leave your mind or brain.

    4. If you prefer an absolute peace around you, then you would simply do any of the above mentioned things under 1, 2, or 3 by being and staying completely quiet. Basically, in this case you’d be emptying your mind through a kind of meditation where you’d be sort of imagining or visualizing your completely empty mind. It’s that simple.

    Hope that implementing these two tips really helps you effortlessly and painlessly approach any girl you want.

    Bruno Babic

  • Koichi
    March 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    usually girls think strangers are monsters…XD

    i know how u guys feel, when seeing a hot girl walk pass by, u do wanna do something about this, wanna talk to her, wanna friend her, u guys just like i was…!

    but the only best thing work is to make her feel the same way too, so that mean u gotta be an attractive man!

    it works for me after my 17 birthday until now (21) i don’t really spend much of thought to get her attention, as long as u act cool, dress cool, nice hair and most important cool look…u get her in hour…^^

  • Okpanachi
    April 1, 2013 | Permalink |

    This is nice one. I am 29yr but stil cant approach a girl… Let me try this may it will work for me this time around

  • keegan
    May 13, 2013 | Permalink |

    In my opinion I think

    1) Don’t use pick up lines (like,ur hot aor nice ) I mean you don’t even know her and she doesint know u that’s creepy

    2)What happens if you look at her and she mouths ”what”,what do u do then

    3) I agree,don’t walk up to her and rip her away from her friends, make conversation with them all first then ask to to talk to her BUT try to focus the conversation on her, not to much

    4)Would you go date a women that looks like she jumped out the dustbin,no,so that’s how she fells too

  • Jay
    May 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    women have become so very nasty to approach nowadays, and many of them will curse at me when i am trying to start a conversation with the one that i would really like to meet. i know other men that had this happen to them too, and that shows you how many very evil women that we have out there today. that is certainly not right at all to be cursed at, and it is bad enough as it is trying to meet a good woman without this happening. don’t you agree?

  • Lover Boy
    June 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    see guys !! its not that this is the only tip that really works !! Jst try 2 B spontaneous , hav confidence & faith in yourself ! Face the situation as u used 2 face any of the situations (positively) as u already did !! & hey Keep Loving her the same way !!

  • ceparse
    July 24, 2013 | Permalink |

    Every lady craves for the desire to be important and so getting her attention and asking her you about what you. Think about something could help start a conversation then other things can come in

  • Omoding xerxes
    October 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    hello ihave been dating agirl her responses were
    positive and she used
    to give me signals but when i approached her
    and asked her out she
    told me she was engaged but she was smilling
    and again she was telling
    me to beat around the bush and then come to
    that later whats up with
    her when ilook at her actions she is still gazing at
    me time to time
    but when iask her she says no and unfortunately
    she says abig NO what
    is happening? help me andrew

  • Tony
    October 28, 2013 | Permalink |

    Yeah Xerxes, I’m kinda going through the same thing here. She sends you the signals, but you try to get cuddly with her and she tells you she has a boyfriend. Something tells me that that’s just a way of telling me that she actually wants me to fight for her or something. I’m no gladiator but I can pull a trigger :)

  • daniel cosby
    October 30, 2013 | Permalink |

    i also have a problem
    i have a girl i dnt seem to trust any advice or help for me

  • Rm
    January 17, 2014 | Permalink |

    These tips assume she is in your league that is why the author says it’s simple. If she is below your league then you better be careful, breaking hearts is not cool. But what if she is or seems to be out of your league. The strategy changes from conventional stuff here to guerrilla war, which is another game and you are likely to take heavy casualties, ask the vietnamese. I have been victorious twice but eventually they left me in the end so it may not be worth it. But if you wanna try, then do look at her until she turns away. Attack with jokes and make fun of her stuff (never her body or hair), you will look daring unlike other guys that only say kind stuff. She will say no at least five times to your proposals but keep calling. Then stop, I mean it, not one sms. Tell her that you “think” it is not worth your time anymore and wish her good luck. This is the moment of truth, maybe she will not come back to you and you will have to move on. But if she comes to you (directly or indirectly) do accept with an “optimistic maybe”,then try to grab her hand or kiss her at the earliest opportunity. It works very well but if you really fall in love you may be sorry later. Good luck!

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