This isn’t an easy topic to discuss, and it’s one where people are divided. But, it’s a question we should look at and talk about. What happens spiritually when you sleep with someone?
Yes, it’s been floating around the media for decades; every time a suggestive music video comes on TV or a movie that pushes the boundaries around sex, we bring up this topic. Some of us couldn’t care less about what happens to our spirits when we have sex. Plus, who says we even have spirits?
See? This question comes with a layer of complexities we don’t have the answers to. But other people say that we’re spiritual beings that are affected by everything around us, including intimacy.
[Read: Why being sex positive matters and how to get on board with it]
What happens spiritually when you sleep with someone
Now, keep an open mind when reading this. I’m not trying to solve one of the hardest questions on earth. If anything, I want to get you to think about it and come up with your own answer. Of course, depending on your background and life experiences, you may be swayed to one side, and that’s fine.
This is more of a philosophical question and one we need to be open-minded to exploring. So, let’s start opening up the subject.
#1 What is sexual intercourse? If we want to even talk about the subject, we all need to agree on what sex is. Now, let’s pick the most basic definition. It’s the sexual contact between individuals involving penetration, involving vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex, fingering, and penetration with a dildo. This is as basic as it can get. [Read: How to become sexually active and enjoy it]
#2 Why do we have sex? Okay, so now that we can all agree on what sex is, we need to ask ourselves, why do we have sex? Aside from reproductive reasons, we engage in sex for physical or emotional pleasure. You have sex with someone because it feels good, emotionally and physically.
#3 What is spirituality? Now spirituality isn’t something we can easily define as people see it differently. It’s more individual. But, for a general definition, it’s the “quality of being connected with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” It’s the belief there’s something greater than yourself, but not necessarily God *although, it can be*. [Read: What is an old soul? The signs you’re wise beyond your years]
#4 What are spiritual activities? Now, you may have heard someone around you talk about spirituality, and how they practice being spiritual. To connect with themselves on a higher level or with a higher being/energy, many people will do yoga, mindfulness, meditation, pray, and have sex. Tantra, for example, is the concept of connecting with the divine through intimacy. [Read: Tantric sex and the beginners guide to awaken your spirituality]
#5 Spirituality and religion. Now, there’s a connection between spirituality and religion, but the two are not mutually exclusive. In Hinduism, Buddhism, early forms of Islam, and Christianity, intimacy and spirituality have gone hand-in-hand. Even Kabbalah, a philosophical system originating in Judiasm, believes intimacy is a spiritual event between human beings. So, this idea has been around for thousands of years. [Read: Emotional intimacy or sexual intimacy? The chicken or the egg?]
#6 The connection during sex. When you have sex with someone you really like, and you’re both vulnerable with each other, the sex is simply different. It’s not necessarily an “exchange of energy” but rather shared deep emotion. This doesn’t have anything to do with religion. It is about the connection between two people. Most of the time, you don’t have those experiences with friends-with-benefits or one-night-stands.
#7 Modern day thoughts on sex. In my opinion, we’ve gone through a cultural shift. At one point, sex was seen as more spiritual as a bond between two people. Today, sex is mainly focused around physical pleasure, ignoring emotional pleasure. We focus on our needs and quick gratification.
#8 Is it spiritually harmful to sleep around? Now, I don’t think sleeping with multiple partners is spiritually harmful if you’re having sex with someone you connect with. The problem comes when you’re having sex simply to say you had it. The problem comes when you’re having sex to fill an emotional void inside of you. That’s when it becomes a problem.
#9 What happens to your spirit during sex? If you’ve had meaningful sex and meaningless sex, you know how you felt afterward. After meaningless sex, you don’t walk away feeling good about yourself or that you shared an intimate moment with someone. You probably could have done just fine without sex. But when you have real and genuine sex with someone you feel connected to, the feeling of attraction and pleasure stays inside you.
#10 Check in with yourself. The only way you can see how your spirit or soul feels when having sex is if you check in with yourself. Before sex, think about if this is something you really want or simply a need you want to fill. If it’s just a physical need to fill, maybe you’re better off with your dildo at home. But if it’s something you want to share with this person, then do it. [Read: When should you have sex? These are the questions to ask yourself]
#11 Finding the balance. In society, we’re given two options. Option one, save yourself for that one person who’s right for you, and option two, sleep with as many people as possible. Either option isn’t fair. They’re excessive on both sides.
If you want to sleep with one person, that’s fine. If you want to sleep with seven people, that’s great. If you want to sleep with forty people, that’s also fine. But what matters is the connection you feel with the person you’re sleeping with.
[Read: How to have spiritual sex and experience sex beyond orgasms]
We will never truly know what happens spiritually when you sleep with someone; however, what matters, at the end of the day, is that how you feel before, during, and after sex.
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