Have you been holding out for your soulmate? Many people hear the idea of having a soulmate and fall totally in love with the romance. But hold up, before we get into the argument of, are soulmates real, what exactly is a soulmate?
Well, the New Oxford American states that a soulmate is “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.” Sounds pretty simple, however, I don’t think so. It’s a little more complex than that.
Soulmates are not just someone that suit us, soulmates are associated with having a deeper connection to one another, a connection that cannot be replicated. It’s that person, the one that clicks, you’ve heard about “the click.” Well, that’s a soulmate. Put simply, they’re The One.
[Read: The 20 signs you need to look for in a soulmate connection]
However, there is some argument that soulmates don’t necessarily have to be romantic. You might meet your soulmate in a friend and it never progresses to anything past platonic. In that case, when answering the whole ‘are soulmates real’ question, we need to also understand that it’s not always The One romantically.
[Read: Are they your twin flame or soulmate? 17 signs to tell them apart clearly]
So now that you know what a soulmate is, do they actually exist?
The question of whether soulmates are real or not is a pretty big debate. Some scientists say that it’s impossible, with the help of mathematical equations, to have a soulmate. In addition, others argue that you shouldn’t even think about soulmates since you then eliminate other eligible partners because you’re looking for “The One.” I’m not saying I agree, but they have a valid point. [Read: 20 very real soulmate signs you’ve met the one destined for you]
For instance, if you don’t feel that click immediately, you might push that person aside and continue looking. Yet, you might need to work on your connection and then suddenly, click! Perhaps soulmate connections don’t happen immediately and maybe we need to grow into it.
To add further weight to that idea, scientists believe soulmates are probable, but not in the way we think of them. You don’t need an immediate click with someone, rather, soulmates result from a deep love that develops over time. [Read: What is true love? 22 signs of love to know if your love is real]
Who’s right? No one really knows. However, if you’re wondering whether your partner is your “soulmate,” there are some good signs which show that you and your partner are a perfect match.
The ‘are soulmates real’ debate will rumble on for eternity, but how can you recognize that you might have met someone who is special beyond the norm? Here are a few signs to look for.
Okay, I know, that sounds a little New Age, a little hippy, but it’s true. You don’t have to constantly talk like you would with people that you just met.
Share that comfortable silence without any awkward feelings. When you talk, you finish each other’s sentences without even blinking. You connect on a mental level unlike other people. [Read: 15 sweet gestures that express love without words]
You feel it deep down in your gut when you know someone is for you. When I go on dates with guys, I know within five minutes if this guy is for me or not. Of course, sometimes they surprise me. However, usually I’m right. It’s not really explainable, the feeling, you just know that this person is or is not for you. [Read: 18 things you HAVE to avoid doing on a first date]
The chemistry you have for each other is intense. Sure, you’ve felt things for other people but this is on a whole other level. Though your sexual chemistry is high, it’s more than just having sex, there’s passion and love with each touch. [Read: How to tell if there’s no chemistry and you should stop trying]
You challenge each other and push each other in a positive way. There’s a sense of teamwork shared between you two and neither feels as though they’re forgotten.
You both want to evolve and grow with each other, supporting what you both do. This isn’t just being soulmates, this is a partnership. [Read: What does true love feel like? 20 feelings that best describe love]
You’re not worried about saying something offensive to them or doing something that would make you look weird. You don’t care. You feel completely comfortable around them from the first day. You feel free to say what you want and it’s almost like you’ve known each other for years.
Yes, you’re flawed, they’re flawed and you both know it. This isn’t about finding someone who’s in a perfect package, smiling all the time and doing everything exactly right. That’s not what a soulmate is, that’s a doll.
You both see each other’s flaws but accept them and embrace them in the relationship. A soulmate is about having the perfect relationship, it’s about going through the ups and downs together. [Read: 16 secrets to a perfectly happy relationship]
When you’re with this person, you just feel calmer, and you make them feel calm. You shouldn’t feel stressed out when you’re around them, that’s not a partnership.
You want to feel safe and relaxed in your soul, as though everything is where it should be. If you’re on pins and needles the entire time you’re around them, that isn’t a soulmate.
Okay, he leaves the toilet seat up and it drives you crazy. You always chew with your mouth open, yes, these things are annoying but they’re not crucial for the relationship. You both agree on the fundamentals of your relationship. What you value in life is what your partner values, you see the world through the same scope. [Read: How to deal with arguments in a relationship]
You want to be able to tell your partner how you really feel. With a soulmate, you should be able to tell your partner everything that’s on your mind. If you’re feeling judged for thinking or believing a certain thing, that’s not a partnership. A soulmate, though, may not agree with you, will let you say what you say without judgment.
You may have found your soulmate, however, there isn’t any sexual chemistry between you. Of course, you mentally and emotionally connect, and you may have even tried to have a sexual relationship with this person but it may not work out. That doesn’t mean you didn’t find your soulmate. You did, it’s just that romantic aspect isn’t there. [Read: What are pheromones? The scent of sex and the part they play in attraction]
I know people that married friends that they’ve known for ten years. One day, they just looked at each other and realized that their soulmate was in front of them the whole time. You may be thinking that your soulmate is someone you’ll meet at a party or library, but really, it could even be your neighbor across the hall or your best friend.
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and appreciate how they’re feeling and what they’re going through. When you meet someone who could be a soulmate, you find it easy to feel empathy towards them.
When they’re feeling down, you can almost connect and understand what they’re feeling on a deeper level. This helps you to support them through whatever they’re going through. [Read: 7 Reasons why empathy is important in a relationship]
You haven’t met your soulmate if you’re constantly giving, giving, giving and all they do is take. There’s no respect in that type of relationship, if you can even call it a relationship.
When you meet a soulmate, you respect one another and act in a way which backs that up. Of course, that doesn’t mean that one of you won’t mess up occasionally, but you’ll put it right because you have that empathy and respect for one another. [Read: Are you a giver who’s feeling unappreciated in a relationship?]
You might be very shy and your soulmate might be extremely extroverted. You might come from a very well off background and your soulmate could come from the opposite. None of that matters because you balance one another out and create almost a yin and yang effect. [Read: How to have a good relationship that gets better with each day]
A soulmate relationship doesn’t mean that you’ll never fight, argue, or disagree. It’s a normal relationship at the end of the day! However, when you’re with your soulmate, you both work hard to overcome those challenges and communicate effectively to work through it. You both fight for one another and not always against one another.
You can be totally yourself. You never feel like you have to pretend to be something you’re not or try and act like you don’t like or believe something when you truly do. Out of the whole ‘are soulmates real’ conversation, one thing is true – when you meet someone like this, it’s a special feeling because you can be totally yourself. [Read: How to be yourself: 14 steps to unfake your life & love being you]
You cheer them on and they cheer you on. If you’re down, they pick you up, and you do the same for them. When you need a little motivation or positivity in your life, they provide it. A soulmate connection means that you’re there for one another when it’s good and bad. You have your very own cheerleader right beside you!
Your soulmate isn’t psychic, but they know you so well that sometimes you don’t really need to tell them what you need. They just know.
They “get you” completely and you feel the same way about them. That’s mostly why you feel completely able to be yourself, and as a result, you work through hard times together.
In other relationships, you might have felt jealous or not sure of where you stood. In a soulmate relationship, that uncertainty doesn’t exist. You feel safe and secure in the relationship and that means you’re able to focus on making it as enriching and fun as possible. [Read: 5 ways to feel more secure in your relationship]
No, this isn’t some spooky stuff going on, but a sense of knowing that they’re there if you need to talk to them. When you’re at work and having a bad day, you know you can message and they’ll reply. When you’re with one another, you feel at ease. You just have that sense of having someone on your side, no matter where you are.
So, what do you think? Are soulmates real? Whether you want to call them your soulmate or you simply feel that they’re the only person you want to be with, this is a special relationship that is likely to open you up to new experiences and feelings.
Being with a soulmate can feel overwhelming at first. If it’s a romantic partner and you’ve had bad experiences in the past, you might wonder whether it’s too good to be true. [Read: 12 things about love you’ll only learn from experience]
It’s not at all, it’s simply that for the first time ever, you’re being treated correctly by someone who gets you on a deeper level. So, whether you believe that soulmates exist or they’re as rare as unicorns, know that this person is special and worth hanging on to.
[Read: What are twin souls? 16 signs to know if you found your twin soul]
So, are soulmates real? Think about your relationship and try to see if you match up with these signs. If you’re truly in love with each other, chances are, you have found your soulmate already!
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