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34 Passionate Signs He Is Making Love to You & Not Just Having Sex

Making love and having sex isn’t the same thing. Anyone can have sex, but if you see the signs he is making love to you, it points to something deeper.

signs he's making love to you

Let’s be honest for a second. Literally, anyone can have sex. However, not everyone can or wants to make love to someone else. If you want to know the signs he is making love to you, first you must understand the differences between making love and having sex.

What’s the difference between making love and having sex

Making love involves intimacy. Having sex, well, you don’t need a high level of emotional connection to get the job done. Sex is just sex. There’s an attraction between people and sexual tension, and you don’t need to know much about your partner to feel that. But making love isn’t the same.

When you’re sexually attracted to a guy or a girl, you can’t wait to undress them, in your mind and in person. Of course, you can also be intensely attracted to them on an emotional level too, and that’s when you make love to them. This involves something deeper than just sex.

When you have sex with someone, it’s passionate and animalistic, even with the best of partners. But when you make love to them, it’s more loving, meaningful and deeper. And before you know it, you’d feel an intense connection developing.

Want to know more? Read on, and you’ll find out everything there is to know about the differences between having sex with someone and making love to them. It doesn’t matter if you’re wondering about the signs a man is making love to you, or the signs a woman is making love to you – when you make love, both of you feel the same strong emotions inside on some level.

[Read: The 25 signs a guy truly loves you a lot even if he doesn’t say it out loud]

The strongest signs he is making love to you

To make love with someone, there’s a deeper connection and more intimacy. You may be unsure of what’s happening in your relationship if it’s a new relationship because the two look and feel similar.

[Read: Does it make a difference if you’re making love or having sex? The honest answer]

Maybe you haven’t gotten to the place where you can speak more openly about the relationship and see how your partner’s feeling. If you’re not at that point, but you feel comfortable talking about it, use these signs to tell the difference and guide you through your feelings.

Let’s get to the truth of lovemaking.

1. He enjoys kissing you

With lovemaking, there’s a LOT of kissing involved. Don’t underestimate kissing; it’s very intimate and sensual. If there’s no kissing, there’s no lovemaking. Bottom line. [Read: How to kiss passionately and romantically, and enjoy every second]

2. There’s a lot of eye contact

If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that making love is all about eye contact. If he’s avoiding eye contact, he may be enjoying himself, and it’s just great sex. If he wants to make love with you, he’ll make sure you see he’s looking into your eyes. He wants you to make sure you’re enjoying the experience just as much as he is. He’d want to stare into your eyes, and he wants you to stare deeply into his.

3. He kisses you beyond your lips

When you have sex with someone, you probably kiss them on the lips. You feel passionate, and you may even kiss with tongue. But when a guy makes love to a woman, he kisses you not just passionately, but also tenderly. He’d plant his kisses, not just on your lips, but on your cheeks, your forehead, your neck, and literally every part he can lay his lips on. [Read: How to tell if a guy likes kissing you and is turned on by your kisses]

4. He hugs you while making love

He’s not grabbing your boobs or kneading it like dough. He’s not scratching his nails on your back like he wants to devour you. You’d do that when you’re madly aroused and in a sexual frenzy. One of the signs he is making love to you is how he holds you when he has sex with you. Does he cuddle you and hug you passionately while having sex? He doesn’t want to f*ck you, he wants to merge into you and become one, and that’s definitely love.

5. Heavy on the foreplay

Lovemaking isn’t just sex. Making love is all about the foreplay; that’s where the magic really happens. If he really wants to make love with you, he’ll be taking his time through foreplay and exploring every inch of your body because he knows if you’re going to orgasm, it’s all about the foreplay. [Read: All the passionate secrets you should know for sexy lovemaking]

6. He wants to please you

Lovemaking isn’t just about him ejaculating; it’s about the two of you experiencing pleasure. One of the big signs he is making love to you is that he’ll focus on making sure you receive pleasure as well. He wants his partner to be satisfied, so he’ll put in the extra effort. 

7. What are the usual positions?

If he only has sex with you doggy-style, odds are, you aren’t making love. The positions he uses when making love are important. Lovemaking is about eye contact and intensity. Of course, if the sex makes its way into doggy-style, that’s fine. But usually, lovemaking is done in missionary or cowgirl – face to face positions. [Read: The most intimate sex positions to really create romance in the bedroom] 

8. He doesn’t rush through it

One of the signs of making love is slow and sensual sex. Of course, great sex can be fast-paced too, but usually, it’s the slow buildup to sex that counts. He’s not going to rush through the experience; he’ll want to take it nice and slow. If he wants to make love with you, he’ll want to make it last as long as possible. He won’t rush through the date, the sexual tension, or the foreplay. He’ll want to enjoy every single step, right from dinner with you, to everything after.

9. He focuses on you

When a man makes love to a woman, he’s not trying just to satisfy himself. More than anything else, he wants to pleasure her and satisfy her. So if your guy is going out of his way to ensure you’re really satisfied in bed, he’s not just doing all that to show off. He’s doing that because he’s making love to you, and he wants you to love all the things he does for you in bed. [Read: 16 moves a guy may use to pleasure a woman in bed]

10. He’s honest with you

If a man really wants to be with someone or make love with someone, they’re honest. He’s not interested in playing games with you; he wants to be himself around you, which is an important sign.

It’s easy to play games and make you fall hard for him. But when a man loves you and wants to make love to you, he doesn’t rely on your confusion, he makes you feel secure and loved, especially while making love. [Read: 32 weird, true psychological facts about love you should know] 

11. He wants to know what you like

Honestly, if a guy just wants to have sex with you, he’ll just have sex with you. He’s not going to care about the little details that give you more pleasure. But one of the signs a man wants to make love to you is if he wants to know every little detail, and every little sexual quirk of yours. He wants nothing more than to please you.

12. He caresses you

When a man makes love to a woman, he feels an intense sexual attraction, but he also experiences a tender and heartfelt love that can’t be expressed through words. You may find that plays with your hair, he runs his fingers through it, and he strokes it along the length, gently and lovingly as he penetrates you and makes love to you. [Read: What men like most in bed – 32 things they want and absolutely lust after]

13. You feel more vulnerable

Making love to someone means you’re letting someone in *not physically speaking*. You’re opening yourself up to this person and giving yourself to them. And if you want to make love with someone, this is something you must do. 

14. The sex is slow and passionate

Okay, we don’t mean just slow, we mean, super slow! Like one of those passionate slow motion movie makeout scenes! He penetrates harder and deeper, but at the same time he’s more passionate and loving. If a guy just wants to have sex, he’d be faster and focus more on his own pleasure. But when he’s making love, he’s slow, tender and goes deeper too. [Read: How to make him penetrate deeper inside you and experience it like never before]

15. You don’t necessarily always have sex

When you hang out with each other, it doesn’t necessarily end up with sex. But, you’re hanging out with him, there’s not this expectation for sex to happen. This means, though he enjoys sex, he also enjoys spending time with you and getting to know you. as much as he love making love to you, he also enjoys spending time and learning more about you.

16. How do you feel?

When you’re around him, you don’t feel this pressure to impress him, nor do you feel insecure. There’s a feeling of less pressure, and you feel more comfortable with your sexual preferences and share them with him. [Read: What a good sex life should look like in real life]

17. There’s not so much dirty talk

People who are into you can still talk dirty, but that’s usually kept for sex. If a guy is having sex with you, he’d talk dirty and try to arouse you. Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with talking dirty. But it’s not the same as making love. When you’re making love, it’s more about moaning and gasping, than talking! [Read: How to moan in bed & look and sound way more sexier too]

18. He tells you something affectionate

One of the signs he’s making love to you and not just having sex with you is the kind of words he uses when he has sex with you. During foreplay, is he into sweet talk? While he’s exploring your body, is he giving you sensual and sweet compliments, and he’s not looking to be mean or insult you? Does he compliment you while having sex? Or the best one ever, does he tell you he loves you while looking at you with affection? You know he’s making love!

19. How does he end it?

If he’s having sex with you passionately, he’d end it panting and gasping, and probably writhing in pleasure. But if he’s making love to you, you’d see that just as he orgasms, he tries to cling closer to you and wrap you in his arms tighter. He wants to experience his orgasm together, not as a man who’s just had his share of pleasure, but as someone who’s in the loving embrace of the woman he’s in love with. [Read: How men fall in love and the 7 stages they have to go through in their mind]

20. You have after-sex cuddles

Some people aren’t into after-sex cuddles; some people need some space, which doesn’t mean they’re not into you. But one of the signs he is making love to you is if he loves to cuddle with you after sex and wants to hold you tight in his arms. [Read: After sex – The post-sex rituals everyone MUST follow]

21. You feel a mental connection

Making love means there’s a mental connection between you two. You’re connected with him, and when you have sex with him, you feel loved and connected. You’re the only person who can know if you have those feelings or not.

22. You feel loved

When you make love to a guy who’s making love to you, sex doesn’t just feel like good sex. You don’t feel used, instead you feel great, beautiful, radiant, and you feel loved. Something inside you blooms, and you realize that for that moment when you two made love, nothing else mattered to this man than you, and pleasuring you. [Read: How to be a good girlfriend – 27 ways to make him love you a lot more]

The seriously big signs he’s passionately making love to you

You now know all the signs a guy is making love to you, and how to recognize the moments when a guy is just having sex with you. But want to go one step further to know if a guy is madly smitten by you, and completely in love with you and your body? Well, here they are!

23. He goes down on you

Of course, a guy could go down on you even if he’s madly sexually attracted to you. But when a man does all of the above signs he’s making love to you AND he goes down on you, it’s a clear sign nothing matters to him as much as pleasing you and satisfying you in bed. Why would a guy be such a romantic and a giver unless he totally loves making love to you? [Read: 12 sexy ways to make him go down on you without a push]

24. He calls you by your name

It’s true that this may make you feel a bit awkward if you two are in a long term relationship. But in every other instance, if a man is having sex with you and calls you out by your name as he penetrates you, he’s not enjoying having sex with a “babe” or a “sexy hottie”, he’s enjoying making love to YOU. [Read: What do guys like in bed? How to please your man the way he wants to be pleased]

25. He kisses you all over

Okay, so he kisses your lips, and your forehead, and other erogenous zones. But does he go beyond that? Does he leave a trail of kisses all the way from your neck to your navel? Does he flip you around and kiss your back? Or does he gently grab your feet and kiss your toes and suck it? He’s not just making love to you, he’s worshipping you sexually! [Read: 18 signs a man in emotionally attached to you and wants to get closer]

26. He seems intoxicated by you

This doesn’t usually happen unless a man is totally smitten, in love and crazy about you. While having sex with him, do you feel like a passionate beast has risen from within him? Does he seem to devour you with a passion that’s straight out of a romantic book? He’s making love to you, alright!

27. He buries himself into you

He smells you, he licks you, he buries his head in your breasts. It’s like he can’t get enough of you, even when he’s inside of you. He’s not just making love to you, he feels like the luckiest guy in the world too.

28. He wants to try new things with you

It’s not that he wants to work his way through the Kama Sutra, it’s that he wants to share the journey with you. He wants to try everything he can with you because he can’t get enough of you, both physically and emotionally. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 sexy ways]

29. He’s patient with you, and you never feel rushed

When it’s purely sex, it’s selfish. All too often a guy will focus on his own needs and forget yours. However, one of the signs he’s making love to you is that he’s patient and he doesn’t mind taking his sweet time to get you right where you need to be.

30. He pays attention to every bit of your body

He’s not just down for the usual spots, he wants to kiss and caress every single bit of you, even the bits that you might try and hide away from him. He doesn’t care! He can’t get enough of you and he adores all of you equally.

31. He shares his fantasies with you

People don’t tend to go around talking about their fantasies without having built up a connection first. You need to trust the person you’re with to talk about these types of things. So, if he’s talking to you about his fantasies and encouraging you to share yours, it’s one of the signs he’s making love to you! [Read: 12 arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]

32. He asks you what you want him to do

He wants to please you and he wants you to enjoy it just as much as him. For that reason, he’ll ask you what you want him to do, what feels good, where to move to next. Don’t be afraid to tell him!

33. He has no problems stopping or slowing down if you ask him to

Of course, any guy with a shred of decency should stop if you ask him to, slow down, or change things a little to make you more comfortable, however one of the signs he’s making love to you is that he’s receptive to you, he’s listening and he wants you to be happy in the moment. If you tell him to slow down, he instantly does so. If you tell him to stop, he does so and doesn’t question it or complain. [Read: Lack of communication in relationships: How to fix this issue]

34. You can laugh together, even in bed

While laughing in the middle of the act can be a little off putting, sometimes it relieves the tension and makes thing more enjoyable. When it’s just sex, you probably aren’t going to feel comfortable enough to share a joke or laugh at something embarrassing that just happened. However, when you’re closer, you’ll find it easier to laugh together, smile and make light of things that you would otherwise cringe about.

[Read: 25 awesome ways to keep a guy hooked and happy in love]

There’s a huge difference between sex and making love. And now, you know the signs he’s making love to you. So, is he making love with you?

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...