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How to Move Forward in a Relationship When You Feel Stuck In It

how to move forward in a relationship

Is your relationship stuck? Are you unsure about where it’s going? You need to learn how to move forward in a relationship.

Relationships are almost like a game of cat and mouse. Of course, it’s never a great idea to knowingly play games with someone you care about, but when you look at how a relationship actually works and the way it plays out in general, it’s a game of ‘you give a little’, ‘I give a little’. Then, you sit there and worry about who’s going to move next or how to move forward in a relationship.

‘Confusing’, that’s the word I’m looking for.

As confusing as relationships can be, they’re also wonderful and fulfilling. However, you should be certain that the person you’re with wants the same things as you, and you also must be sure that they’re actually the person you want to have a future with in the first place.

[Read: The 7 non-negotiables you shouldn’t compromise on in a relationship]

How to move forward in a relationship in all the right ways

If you want to learn how to move forward in a relationship, take some time for yourself. Know what you want in your own mind and then the rest is a little easier. However, moving forward doesn’t always have to mean the big stuff, like moving in together, getting married, meeting family or even have children. It can be anything which basically starts your relationship ticking along rather than being stuck, going nowhere.

Everyone has a different situation. Whatever your current ‘moving forward’ definition is, let’s look at 10 ways you can learn how to move forward in a relationship to wherever your destination may be.

#1 Know what you want first of all. Before you put the moving forward plan into action, first think about what you want. You cannot do anything until you know this for yourself. Do you want to meet this person’s parents really? What will that mean to you? Do you want to move in with this person? Is that really all that important to you? What will it change?

Identify what you want out of a relationship, then start putting together a plan to figure out whether it’s what your beau wants too. [Read: The sure signs you’re ready for a relationship or totally not ready]

#2 Remember, they’re not a mind reader. It’s amazing the number of people who simply expect others to know what they’re thinking. None of us are mind readers! Communication is vital in any relationship, whether it’s a new one, an established one, or a relationship that turned into marriage long ago.

You should be comfortable with talking about what you want, making suggestions, and asking questions. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about these things with your partner, then learning how to move forward in a relationship is useless! [Read: How to open up to people and learn to be vulnerable]

#3 Focus on experiences together. Experiences help to create a stronger bond. They make memories. If you’re attempting to move your relationship to the next level, whatever you deem that to be, focus on having these new experiences together. By doing that, you’re opening up a new amount of potential. It could lead to some pretty unexpected and wonderful places! Of course, the last point of communication also still stands. Mix these two points together and see some success! [Read: 18 ways you can fall slowly in love like you’re in a fairytale]

#4 Put in the effort. You can’t expect your partner to do all the doing, you should do some of it too! Make sure that your relationship isn’t one sided. You both should suggest new places to go, things to do, date night locations, etc.

You should also be sure that you’re pulling your weight in terms of communication. If you want to move a relationship forward, you have to put in the effort and spend enough time with your partner in order to reach the point you want to reach.

#5 Stop taking your relationship for granted. The number of people who do this is huge. It’s one of the biggest relationship killers out there. It’s easy to become comfortable but that easily means you’re stuck.

How do you know that your partner isn’t desperately trying to wave a flag at you, to get you to see that they want to move forward, but you’re far too short-sighted to see it? You’re too busy taking them for granted. As before, put in the effort, but be honest with yourself. Make sure there’s nothing you need to put right before you start to try and move things to the next level. [Read: How to make sure one person isn’t being taken for granted in your relationship]

#6 Ask yourself if you’re truly happy. Is there anything in your relationship that is a huge bug-bear? Is there anything which you’re not happy with? Before you sit down and talk about what the next level is, you need to fix it. If you don’t, the problem is just going to snowball into something bigger, almost like an avalanche.

Fix things, be honest, communicate, talk about things openly, and then see where you end up. Seriously, the biggest thing here, and the most important thing when learning how to move forward in a relationship, all comes down the ability to be open and honest with each other. [Read: 10 steps to take to tell your partner you’re unhappy]

#7 Don’t second guess what they want. You might think you know, but how can you be sure? Have you talked about it? Are you just guessing? Maybe they say something because they think it’s what you want to hear. By simply guessing and then letting those guesses guide where your relationship goes, you might be heading in a totally wrong direction.

#8 Don’t rush things. You might want to move things. However, going too fast can easily scare some people off. Wait a while, let things settle, enjoy where you are then assess how you feel after a few months. If you jump into a new relationship and suddenly demand to meet their parents, you’re just going to freak them out. You’ll see the end of the union before it’s even begun!

I get it! I totally understand that the beginning part of a relationship is full of anxiety and stress, because you want to know that you’re not wasting your time. You also need to just go with it and enjoy things. If you focus too much on ‘where is this going,’ you’re just going to end up regretting it. [Read: 13 relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]

#9 Initiate a conversation about the future. The best way to find out what your partner wants is to initiate a conversation that talks about the future in ‘one day’ terms.

For instance, drop casually into the conversation that ‘one day’ you’d love to have a bigger house. Make sure that you reference them into the dream you’re describing, so they know that you see them as a part of it. Then, encourage them to do the same. These conversations help to carve out a clearer picture. [Read: 12 key moments in a relationship that predict your future together]

#10 BUT understand that if you’re on different pages, the relationship doesn’t have a future. I hate to end on a negative! If you’re trying to learn how to move forward in a relationship with someone who simply doesn’t want the same things as you, you’re heading for heartache. You shouldn’t push down the things you truly want in life just because the person you’re with doesn’t want them. They shouldn’t do the same for you either.

For instance, if you want to go traveling and your partner doesn’t, can you live with not fulfilling your dream? If your partner wants children and you don’t, you can’t force yourself to want something which doesn’t fit into your vision or what is comfortable to you.

[Read: 12 of the most encouraging early signs of a good relationship]

Learning how to move forward in a relationship relies heavily upon communication and the willingness to try new things.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...

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