There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who will fight for her honor, be brash, or just smells like sweat. If we can be honest with one another, as much as we want equal rights, there is nothing that turns a woman on more than a man who will take you by the hand and promise to protect and take care of you for the rest of your life. But that isn’t happening anymore. And that’s why feminizing men is ruining our society.
It isn’t as if we want to have someone demean us, or belittle us as human beings, but there is something to be said for someone who comes in, takes control, and makes you feel safe.
The problem is that there was a movement that told men that it was okay to cry, to show weakness, and that being competitive and authoritative was bad. Excuse me if I am one of the only women *which I can’t possibly be* who wants John Wayne to come by and swoop me off my feet and fight anyone who threatens me or my honor.
But I am tired of our culture feminizing men, and I am quite sure that every woman I know is too.
Men are supposed to be strong and competitive; that is how nature made them, and it is how our species has survived throughout the centuries. So, when the government starts talking about a draft for both men and women, it has to make us all wonder who is going to be at home taking care of the children?
There has to be a hunter, but there also has to be a gatherer. The more that we tell men who they should be, the less they know who they are.
How our culture started feminizing men
In the 1960s, some women felt disengaged, and rightly so, by not being able to have equal rights in the workplace. So they wanted to level the playing field in life through academics and changing cultural norms. [Read: Why men find a damsel in distress totally irresistible]
Feminists decided that it was time to teach children differently in the schools by using an educational structure that was more conducive to girls. That is why school is all about sitting still, being kind and patient, and not getting out of your seat.
There are very few girls who get into trouble in school because the entire education system was overhauled to favor girls and help them succeed.
That is awesome for women, but that left a huge hole for boys. It is no wonder that there are more boys than ever being put on medication because they can’t sit still, or being diagnosed with ADD. And it also explains why women are outnumbering men in almost all areas of learning.
Men and women are inherently different because we are supposed to be. The problem is that instead of celebrating the individual differences between them, society tried to turn boys into girls. It was no longer acceptable for boys and girls to have different toys, to like different things, or to be stereotypical. If you limited a boy from having a doll, shame on you. Suddenly, that made you a sexist. [Read: Things you say or do that can emasculate your man]
There is no question that the changes did wonders for women’s self-esteem. Although some people disagree, men and women are more equal in the workplace than ever once dreamed of before. And the glass ceiling, if it’s even still there, is well over our heads now.
The problem? Our boys are failing, and the men are unsure of where they fit in and who they are supposed to be. No longer acceptable to be competitive, aggressive, or even to be less focused, society has tried to fundamentally change them into girls with muscles.
What feminizing men has done to relationships
Women want the “fairy tale.” We want the white horse, the knight in shining armor and the dragon slayer. What we are getting are the men who don’t think it is necessary to open a door for us anymore, who are afraid to say anything complimentary because it may be construed as “sexual harassment.” [Read: Things women look for in a man before falling for him]
And men are expecting women to make a home and earn a living all at the same time. Stress on gender roles has created stress between the sexes. The very thing that men have been told not to be and do are the very things that women find sexy.
We like it when you are competitive and win. We like it when men are authoritative and strong. We like it when we know that if we are ever in danger, you have the muscles to save us. But these days, men are being told that they shouldn’t be who and what we want them to.
Being from the 1970s
Growing up in the late 1970s, it was okay for someone to be stereotypical. In fact, being able to laugh at someone else made you able to laugh at yourself. No one was suing anyone else because they got called a name, but they also weren’t thinking that it was society’s problem to take care of them.
There is a growing entitlement in the U.S. that is having disastrous effects on both genders and taking a severe toll on the masculinity of our men. Of course, no one wants to have a war, but in an effort to do away with all aggression, we seem not to be able to take a stand anywhere.
People all around the world are dying, and America may have been full of cowboys in previous decades, but at least we knew when to say enough was enough and to take care of the weakest in our society – and those who were being wronged around the world. [Read: How to be masculine without being a jerk]
Feminizing men has been a downfall of America. Not wanting to act, to wait on the sidelines, not to exert our power or to be competitive, has spilled out in our homes, our schools and our political maneuvers. That is leaving us all unprotected and feeling vulnerable, men and women alike.
How roles have changed in the past few decades
If you have a chance, watch a movie from the late 1970s or early 1980s that has been redone. You will see firsthand the changes that have been made in our society. And you’ll also see changes to the way that we not only think, but how we treat each other.
It isn’t just men that have been feminized. We have all lost our ability to roll with it and to wear an outer shell. I remember when I would come home after being teased by someone. My mom didn’t call the school or the other parent. She told me “sticks and stones can break your bones, but names can never hurt you.”
That is what is missing in our society. You aren’t ever supposed to fight your own battles, to stand up for yourself, or to just let someone do what they do while you do what you do.
The biggest consequence of feminizing men is that no one knows what they are supposed to be doing anymore. Women who want to stay home are being told they are lazy and should be in the workforce competing to be relative. Men are told that they aren’t supposed to compete with other people, that isn’t “fair.” [Read: Why men feel emasculated these days, more than ever]
In our effort to help women be more masculine, we have made our boys more feminine, and now no one knows what their roles are. We have an entire generation that is prolonging growing up because they don’t know what being a grown up entails.
All they know is that if they didn’t do their homework, their parents got in trouble. And if they had a problem in school, mom and dad clean it up. The room that used to be converted into the sewing room when the kids left for college is still occupied by adult children who should have moved out.
Is feminizing men the only problem?
Probably not. It is a systematic overhaul of gender roles. You aren’t supposed to “label” anyone; you aren’t supposed to be stereotypically one gender or the other. It is okay to love anyone, no matter what sex you are or they are. [Read: Defining true masculinity – what does it mean to be a man?]
The lines between the genders continue to blur which is making us all confused and feel out of place. Nature gave us genitals of either a man or a woman. Along with those sex characteristics, it gave us internal feelings, drives, and skills.
What we are all trying to do is to ignore those things that our mind and our body feel and succumb to what society is telling us. If it is confusing for me, I am more saddened for my sons.
It is a very confusing, unsure, and unstable time in America – and across the globe. Black and white is something everyone can figure out. It is all this “gray area” that no one seems to be able to get a handle on.
[Read: Dating feminine men – a boom or a bust?]
Feminizing men is not only making men less attractive to females, it is blurring gender roles, societal norms, and the core of who we are. The goal should be to allow our gender differences to shine instead of trying to do away with them altogether.
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A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...
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