Love is blind, they say. When we’re in a new relationship, we tend to overlook some big *neon* signs that really help you see who your partner is. And if they are a good fit for you. Should you be looking at relationship red flags?After a relationship ends, we always think about the red flags we saw but completely ignored. Did he hate your friends? Never met your parents? Did she manipulate to get her way?
The 17 relationship red flags to watch for
If you’re in a new relationship and are having some doubts about it, then it’s probably for a good reason. But what are the red flags? Good question. We have you covered. These 17 relationships red flags are the ones you need to look for and not ignore.
#1 They accuse you of cheating. Maybe they saw a picture on Facebook of you and a friend of the opposite gender and got a little jealous. However, when someone accuses you of cheating on them, especially when they have no evidence, it may just be projecting their actions onto you.
Usually those who are extremely defensive are so because they have done it themselves. Their accusations might be manifestations of their guilt and paranoia of you finding out the truth. [Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner]
#2 They never apologize. You may not think this is a big deal, but this is a major relationship red flag. The inability to apologize essentially shows they do not take any responsibility and ownership for their actions.
Every fight will be your fault. Anything that goes bad, will be because of you. It’s not worth it, arguing with them is like running in a circle. Best thing to do is stay far away from people like this.
#3 Possessiveness. It’s cute when they text you asking you where you are. And then after the fifth text, it starts getting a little too much. If they’re constantly asking what you’re doing, who you’re with—this is a red flag, especially early into the relationship.
This behavior only becomes worse, and may result in them prohibiting you from seeing certain friends and family members.
#4 They have few or no friends. There’s a reason why people don’t have any friends. If they’re shy and have a very close circle of friends, that’s different. If the only people they socialize with is their grandma and uncle, this is a clear sign something is wrong with their socialization skills. This could mean they’re highly codependent or unable to form healthy relationships. [Read: 16 abusive relationship signs of a devious lover]
#5 You’re their first relationship. Unless you’re 18, this is not a good thing. Especially if all their relationships in the past were friends-with-benefits or one-night-stands. Short term relationships are fine. However, if that’s the only thing they can handle, they have some commitment issues to tend to.
#6 All their exes are “crazy.” Yeah, alright, sure. Every one of them are nuts. If all their exes were described as “crazy” then you know who the “crazy” one is—they’re sitting right across from you. So… run.
#7 They’re disrespectful to their parents. There’s an old saying, “How a man treats his mother is how he will treat his wife.” This applies to both genders and is absolutely true. Meet the parents.
You’ll be able to see how their relationship is and whether there is mutual respect within the family. If they don’t treat their own parents nicely, you’re not special. They’re not going to treat you nicely either.
#8 They use guilt as a weapon. If this is the only way they can get you to do something, then run. If you stay in this relationship, you will age fifty years in a very short period. [Read: 10 guilt free ways to handle guilt trippers in your life]
#9 They cheated on their last relationship with you. Okay, not everyone who cheats will always be a cheater—everybody has their reasons. But, if you’re the one they cheated with, most likely, you will be cheated on and this is one of those relationship red flags you just can’t shove under the carpet.
This behavior shows they have never actually been alone and had time to process any breakup. Moving from relationship to relationship without going through the breakup aftermath is not a good sign.
#10 They make you do everything. Relationships are built on mutual respect. If you’re the one doing all the cleaning, cooking, and activity planning, this isn’t a relationship, it’s called parenting. This also shows they are not fully invested in the relationship and are looking more for a free ride. So, kick them to the curb, they can find someone else to be their slave. [Read: 12 subtle signs you’re being manipulated by your lover]
#11 They point out your insecurities. If you have a couple extra pounds around your tummy and they’re aware that you’re self-conscious about it, they should just never bring it up or help you to embrace it.
If they’re calling you names and shaming you, this is a method of control and manipulation. That behavior has no place in a healthy relationship and will continue to get worse over time. [Read: We accept the love we deserve – Why aren’t you worthy?]
#12 Name calling. We have all said some things during a heated argument that we wish we didn’t say. However, if your arguments with your partner are filled with extremely hateful and negative phrases and names—this is not okay and is one of those big relationship red flags.
Name calling only gets worse as time goes on and shows a clear disrespect towards you. This name calling can also turn into more physical behavior.
#13 You don’t meet their friends. Is your significant other going out with their friends without inviting you? That’s not a good sign. If anything, they should be introducing you to their friends and showing you off.
There are a couple reasons for this behavior. They either do not want to show themselves as in a relationship or they feel that their friends and family will not approve of you. Either way, you deserve better treatment than that.
#14 They have a poor work ethic. Okay, we know, it may be early in the relationship; however, what happens if this relationship turns into a long-term one? You need a partner with a similar work ethic to you. If you have a strong work ethic and your partner is more relaxed, what will happen is you will end up taking on most of the responsibilities.
Remember a relationship is based on two people being involved, not one person doing most of the work while the other is on the couch. [Read: 21 big signs of emotional abuse you may be overlooking]
#15 They want to change you. Listen, if they don’t like you the way you are, there’s the door. This relationship red flag is a tricky one because many people do not notice their significant other changing them.
This requires manipulative skills which should never be used within a relationship. They may suggest you change your look, cut your hair in a different way, or change the way you speak. Most people will listen to their partner, but eventually, you look in the mirror and see a completely different person. Is that what you want? Is that what love is? You know it’s not. [Read: 12 signs it’s time to jump ship and leave your partner]
#16 They don’t take “no” as an answer. No means no. Has your partner refused to stop doing something after you’ve asked them nicely to stop? If your significant other is constantly pushing the boundaries when you’ve clearly stated no, this shows they will continue to do so until the situation may turn violent.
#17 They’re physically, emotionally, or mentally abusive. Many people may be thinking, “Oh, this is obvious.” But when you’re in a relationship it may be hard to notice certain types of abusive behavior. If they call you names, shame you, act manipulatively, or make you cry—this is abusive behavior. You must leave the relationship.Nothing will make it better; they will say that they’re going to change—they won’t.
[Read: 18 emotions you shouldn’t feel in a healthy relationship]
Love is a beautiful thing. If you’re experiencing any of these relationship red flags, reconsider the relationship you’re in. Remember, love is not supposed to make you feel bad.
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