Home  >  Love Couch  >  Romantic Love

32 Fun Ideas to Build & Grow Intimacy in a Relationship and Feel More Loved

Intimacy in a relationship is important but it’s easy to run out of ideas on how to keep the spice hot. Here are some intimacy ideas you can thank us for later!

build and grow Intimacy in a Relationship

No one has a perfect relationship. Remember all those sappy books you read, chick flicks you watched, and annoying Instagram pictures you forced yourself to like? Well, none of them are real – everyone has to work on intimacy in a relationship.

The world has been fooled into thinking that what makes a relationship work is being able to chalk up as many lovely moments as they can. With all the filtering and posting of only the good stuff, you can be sure that your perception of how couples really are is just the idyllic side of their relationship. [Read: 16 little habits that might actually ruin your relationship]

Committing to someone takes plenty of work. From flings to serious commitments, there is one thing that they all have in common: they are not always pretty.

Loving your partner and being loved back despite the ugliness is by far the most romantic aspect of being with someone.

At the end of the day, it’s all about feeling good and being comfortable with each other without having to change who you are at heart. [Read: 50 secrets and early signs of a good relationship that make a great one]

How does intimacy affect relationships?

It is true that couples who have been together for a long time tend to be more intimate with each other compared to those in newly forged relationships. This is because being intimate with someone takes time, patience, and effort to keep coming up with new intimacy ideas.

Sometimes, intimacy just builds up without any planning whatsoever. It’s not just about sharing one’s hopes and dreams. It is also about the little awkward things like farting in front of each other, sharing tales of your painful past with each other, experiencing embarrassing moments together, and many more.

Be it a tedious long distance relationship, married life with the person of your dreams, or a fresh start with someone new, intimacy transcends all levels and types of relationships. It plays an important and irreplaceable role in determining whether things are going to work out in the long run. [Read: Most common reasons why relationships fail often]

Reasons for having difficulties in creating intimacy

There are many reasons why intimacy in a relationship may be an issue. The good news is that all of these problems can be fixed – some easier than others.

1. Communication issues

Not talking is bound to affect intimacy in a relationship. Opening up and speaking your mind in a blame-free way allows problems to be solved effectively, rather than letting issues fester.

2. Negative childhood experiences

Problems in childhood can easily follow you into adulthood if you allow them to. In some cases, it may take therapy and a lot of self-improvement work to unpack the problem and overcome it, but it’s certainly one of the reasons why couples may struggle with intimacy. [Read: Emotional baggage – how to help someone put it down and find freedom]

3. Past and current traumas

If a person has been through a bad relationship in the past or there is an issue in the relationship that hasn’t been solved, it is bound to affect intimacy. This is where communication comes into the equation.

Types of intimacy in a relationship

When we think of intimacy, we tend to focus only on sex. But that’s not the only type of intimacy you will and should experience in a relationship. There are several types, including:

1. Physical intimacy – holding hands, kissing, and hugging [Read: Types of touches – the 36 physical touches we use and what they mean]

2. Emotional intimacy – opening up to one another, communication, sharing, and having a deep emotional connection

3. Sexual intimacy – sex is important in a relationship and sexual intimacy explains that

4. Intellectual intimacy – having deep conversations and sharing thoughts about particular topics

5. Spiritual intimacy – this is a deep connection of acceptance, listening, and care

6. Experiential intimacy – sharing experiences together which, in turn, create memories [Read: Love lessons you’ll only learn from experience]

How can I tell if I’m in an intimate relationship?

If you’re not sure if you’re actually in an intimate and deep relationship, there are some signs you can look out for. Once you know, it’s time to start thinking of intimacy ideas to deepen the connection you have.

1. You have a strong sense of trust

Feeling able to trust your partner is something that not everyone can agree with. When you’re in a close and intimate relationship, you trust your partner and they trust you. There’s no need to grill each other on what you’re doing and who you’re with.

Intimacy in a relationship hinges heavily on trust. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]

2. They’re committed to getting to know you inside and out

It’s not just about sex, they want to know all about you and they ask questions. More importantly, they actually listen to what you say in return.

3. You can be vulnerable around them

When you have intimacy in a relationship, you feel comfortable being vulnerable around them. You don’t worry about what they will say about the secrets you share or if they’ll laugh at you when you cry. Instead, you know they’ll take everything on board and support you.

4. You can rely on them when things go wrong

It’s a feeling of being supported in the here and now, but you know that if anything was to happen, you would have someone behind you, supporting you all the way. You feel safe and content as a result. [Read: 17 signs of a supportive partner who encourages you and your goals]

5. You feel interdependent in the relationship

It’s not a codependent deal, you’re equal and you rely upon each other. Neither of you does more than the other.

6. You grow from your shared experiences

You have experiences together that allow you to develop as a person and as a couple. This helps you to grow intimacy in a relationship based on these experiences.

7. The relationship has a team mentality

You face problems together and you’re never alone. You’re each other’s biggest supporters and you feel it. [Read: The right priority in your relationship – how to find and focus on it]

8. You’re not scared to be honest

You don’t second guess whether to open up and be honest. You’re confident enough and secure enough to speak your mind.

9. You feel understood

At no point do you feel judged or misunderstood – you know that this person gets you. [Read: What is the key to happiness?]

Key factors within any intimate relationship

Within any intimate and close relationship, there are certain factors that need to be ticked off a list. they are:

1. Trust

2. Acceptance

3. Honesty [Read: Being brutally honest – scenarios when it’s an obligation]

4. Safety

5. Compassion

6. Affection

7. Communication [Read: Communication techniques to finally get them to open up to you]

It’s not easy to work on all of those ingredients for the full recipe, but as long as they’re present and you put in effort on all fronts, your relationship will thrive.

Intimacy ideas every couple should try

In the same way unicorns don’t exist, neither do perfect relationships. In the end, it all comes down to co-existing and building a life together with another human being.

Here is a compilation of intimacy ideas every couple needs to indulge in to receive the stamp of approval from reality. [Read: How to get closer to someone – 15 traits that bring people closer]

1. Love notes

Let’s start this list with something romantic. Leaving each other love notes is undoubtedly one of the simplest ways that you can build intimacy with your partner. When you write something down, you are basically sealing your message’s fate as one that is real and meaningful.

You can leave little Post Its in your partner’s suitcase every time they leave for a trip. You will be surprised at how much that little gesture will mean to them. Not only that, it will remind your partner that they have someone waiting for them at home.

2. Farting

There is no denying that flatulence is the least sexy thing that a human could possibly do, but the key word here is “human.”

You are a human being and so is your partner. Farting is natural and, as disgusting as it can be, should not be something you keep from each other.

It’s understandable if you don’t want to completely let loose in a new relationship, but once you have secured something long-term with someone, it doesn’t make sense to hide this smelly yet completely natural occurrence from each other. [Read: Top 15 worst habits that women hate in men]

3. Cooking

Cooking for each other is definitely a big must when it comes to intimacy ideas. Whether you work as a team or decide to take turns treating each other to a home cooked meal, this act of love is definitely something worth doing.

No matter how bad of a cook you are, the only way to break down all those culinary barriers is to literally let your partner taste what you can do. As far as intimacy ideas go, this one is yummy!

4. Do it somewhere new

Build intimacy by letting your kinky side shine. Instead of repetitively making love at home, why not be a little naughty and do it somewhere new? Whether in the bushes at the park, in an H&M changing room, or even at a cheesy love hotel, don’t be afraid to let your wild side out.

You’ll be surprised at how much a sexual escapade can help link the two of you together, not to mention the whole risk of getting caught will definitely add a bit of thrill and excitement. [Read: Did you know that getting naked in public can improve your sex life?]

5. Financial planning

As dull as it may be, discussing your finances is very important in bridging the divide between two people. It’s always good to know the state of your partner’s affairs, and letting them in on your financial world will undoubtedly help bring you closer.

A word of caution: don’t jump into setting up a joint account or be loose about giving your partner a credit card. Being aware of how your significant other is doing financially is good enough for the time being. Only take further steps once you have determined that you want to start building your future together. [Read: 17 genius ways couples can save money]

6. Sexual experimentation

Although not everything is about sex, copulating with your partner sure is important! Play around with different sexual positions, experiment with weird foreplay, use props, and try things you never thought you would ever do.

Letting down your guard and traversing into brand spanking *pun intended* new territory is a fun way to build intimacy with your loved one. [Read: Naughty games to spice up your sex life]

7. Pooping in front of each other

This is certainly crossing the line into a truly disgusting zone and you probably didn’t expect it to be on our list of intimacy ideas. However, what better way to feel more intimate with your partner than by not being shy about doing this natural deed?

It doesn’t mean that you have to sit and stare into each other’s eyes while on the throne. THAT is disgusting. But consider this: not everyone is blessed with multiple bathrooms. Sometimes, a scenario where one partner is on the throne while the other is in the shower is completely inevitable.

It’s completely understandable if some of you find this utterly unacceptable, but in emergency cases, you don’t really have much of a choice. [Read: How to have a long-term relationship that lasts]

8. Live out a fantasy

Whether it’s dressing up as a French maid, sticking pasties on your nipples while grooving to music, or playing out a home invasion scene, you should indulge in living out each other’s sexual fantasies no matter how strange.

By disclosing each other’s sexual fantasies, you get a glimpse into each other’s sick and twisted minds. If you still love each other after all that is said and done, then good for you. [Read: Top women’s fantasies to add a sexual sizzle to your love life]

9. Share secrets

This brings us to more sharing, but instead of sexual fantasies, share your deepest secrets. Whether it’s a traumatic clown experience you had as a child or an embarrassing incident that involved a coffee maker and darts, there is no shame in sharing your secrets with your significant other.

Not only will you get to know this person better, but you will also learn to trust your partner more. As far as intimacy ideas go, it might be less obvious, but it’s one of the most important. [Read: Keeping secrets in a relationship – 42 must-know rules and exceptions]

10. Pop pimples

This other downright gross bit of advice is meant for all you long-term partners out there. If you have a partner you can call to pop pimples on your butt and lend you a hand with removing those unsightly blackheads, then you’ve definitely got a keeper on your hands.

It takes a whole lot of trust to be able to pull this stunt off!

11. Be painfully honest

If you want to build intimacy, you have to be honest with each other. There is no way around this obvious fact. A relationship built on lies and half-truths is not a realistic one.

Sit your partner down and be honest about what you want from the relationship. Tell your partner about how you genuinely feel and be just as authentic with your reaction when they share in kind.

The whole point of picking and settling down with a mate is being able to share a life together, which means not having to second guess when your partner tells you something. [Read: Why you should tell the truth even when it hurts and why it matters]

12. Use nicknames

Those in long-term relationships will tell you that calling their loved ones by name seems bizarre and too formal. To build intimacy with each other, pick cute nicknames and use those instead.

From basic ones like “babe” to those that stem from inside jokes like “green fairy,” just go with the flow. Don’t worry, you only ever need to use this when it’s just the two of you.

13. Schedule regular date nights

Forging a strong bond of intimacy between two people takes time and effort. So, you need to spend as much time together as you can. This is one of the best intimacy ideas.

If both of you are caught up in your careers, have kids, or just don’t have much time for your relationship, then you need to make adjustments to liven things up a bit. No matter how busy life gets, you have to make time for your special someone. [Read: The 50 best free date ideas when you want romance on a budget]

14. Be generous

This does not mean buying your partner beautiful things and splurging on expensive meals. It refers to being generous when you give yourself away. Be generous when you share your time and feelings with your partner.

Do not bother with mind games that involve who is going to say sorry first, who should pick up the phone to ask the other on a date first, and so on. [Read: Sure signs you’re being selfish in your relationship]

15. Have fun together

Couples that share leisure activities enjoy more love and less conflict than those who do not. By engaging in mutually enjoyable activities, you will feel more connected to your partner, thus forging a more intimate relationship.

The best way to build intimacy is to have fun together. Whether it is heading for laser tag with a group of friends, or planning a romantic rooftop picnic for two, spending time together will undoubtedly keep the spark of intimacy alive, be it in a new or long-term relationship. [Read: Easy steps to reignite the spark in love instantly!]

16. Experience new things together

Another way to build a strong bond of intimacy with your lover is to indulge in new and exciting things together.

It could be taking a vacation somewhere neither of you has ever been to, signing up for a cooking class, or spending the afternoon rollerblading together for the first time.

By experiencing new things together, both of you are laying the foundation for your bid to build a greater sense of connectivity and intimacy with each other.

Not just that, your triumphs and failures while attempting these new activities will add to the wealth of memories that you are amassing together. [Read: 25 really romantic ideas to make your lover melt]

17. Touch often

Although intimacy is not all about being physical with one another, it certainly does not hurt to indulge often. Touching one another gives emotional intimacy the chance to be turned into something physical and real because sometimes, feelings and words are just not enough.

Whether it is a mind-blowing romp between the sheets, holding hands at the mall, or a sweet kiss and hug before heading off to work, touch your loved one often and make sure you mean every fondle, caress, hug, and kiss that you bestow upon them. [Read: 16 non-sexual touches to feel connected and loved in a relationship]

18. Show appreciation

Another way to keep intimacy alive in a relationship is to always take the time to show appreciation to your partner. This may sound simple enough, but many people tend to overlook this important aspect. Everyone loves being appreciated, most of all by the people who matter.

Whether you verbalize it by saying, “Thank you for all that you have done, my love,” or treat your partner to a home-cooked meal, show that you appreciate your lover.

Even better, take a few seconds every day to look your partner in the eye, thank them and tell them how much you love them. [Read: Very romantic dinner date ideas for two]

19. Do what pleases your partner

If you want to keep the intimacy alive, then you are going to have to speak your partner’s love language. Even if you are not a fan of sushi, plan a date at a Japanese restaurant because you know they love it.

You should make the effort to indulge in activities that your lover enjoys, no matter how dull it may seem to you. Who knows? You may just realize that what they enjoy doing is not so tedious, after all.

20. Be supportive

Intimacy means being on par with your partner emotionally. Hence, you should be supportive of your partner no matter what.

Be it through sickness, financial difficulties, starting a new business, a death of someone important, or even something trivial like needing a ride to work, do all that you can to be supportive of your partner no matter the situation. [Read: How to show your appreciation to someone]

21. Lessen stress

When you have less stress and worries in your life, you will undoubtedly have more space in your mind, heart, and schedule for your partner to build intimacy.

Research has shown that stress management should be something to consider if you want to improve sexual and emotional intimacy with your partner.

Be it cutting back on your work hours, forgoing high-pressure projects, or cutting out toxic or destructive people from your life, do all that you can to lessen the stress in your life for the benefit of your relationship. [Read: The right way to keep love and intimacy alive in romance]

22. Go to bed together

This is one of the most obvious intimacy ideas. In today’s fast-paced world where people have bizarre work schedules, children, projects, and other activities going on, many couples find themselves going to bed at different times. This leads to a disconnection between both partners, resulting in less intimacy.

Bedtime should be a shared ritual of intimacy between two lovers as it reduces stress and tension. If both of you cannot sync your schedules to go to bed at the same time, the very least that you can do is hug, snuggle, or put to rest any tension between the two of you left over from the day.

23. Put away any distractions

When you’re together, put down your phone. Sitting at the dinner table together and one of you is on your phone? Not the best advertisement for intimacy!

Put time aside for the two of you to focus on each other and nothing else. This is the perfect time to simply talk about your day. As far as intimacy ideas go, you’d be surprised how many people overlook this. [Read: Things happy couples talk about and feel closer]

Intimacy in relationships takes work

Intimacy entails more than just having sex on the regular. It means having a deep understanding of each other throughout different situations and scenarios.

Be open towards your partner and allow yourselves to be more candid towards each other. Whether it means accepting each other despite your less-than-pleasant bodily functions or exposing your innermost secrets, building intimacy is one of the core foundations of a lasting successful relationship.

[Read: 25 must-follow rules for a successful relationship]

Every couple has their own way of reinforcing their intimacy towards each other. Give these intimacy ideas a try and see just how well you’re able to strengthen your bond.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!

Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...