When a relationship comes to an end it feels like your world ended too. Whether you dated only for a few months, or you’ve been in a long-term relationship, saying goodbye and cutting those ties can be emotionally draining, heartbreaking, and makes you feel as though you will never be happy again. These 30 tips for how to get through a breakup helps you navigate the change and get back on top.
Why relationships end
Relationships end for a number of reasons. It could be because one of you did something wrong, one person decided the relationship no longer works for them, you argue all the time, or perhaps, you simply drifted apart.
Even the most amicable relationship endings hurt loads when you finally agree it’s over. Sometimes even more so because you can’t try and turn the sadness into anger which is actually pretty cathartic!
If you’ve been hurt or betrayed by your partner, this leaves lasting damage and makes it hard for you to trust someone else again. If you get dumped unexpectedly it leaves you reeling and utterly confused as to where it all went wrong. Even if it was your decision or you were the one who made the mistake, it still hurts and takes time to mend. [Read: Letting go of your ex: 15 ways to make it easier]
How to get through a breakup better than ever
There are no two ways about it, breaking up with someone really sucks. Now you must face the consequences and find ways to heal and eventually move on.
While we can’t promise to make the pain of breakups go away altogether, there are definitely things to make them better, recover faster, and learn to trust and fall in love again with ease.
#1 Accept the pain. There is no point in battling or fighting against the pain. Every breakup hurts, so just try to accept how you feel and work out ways to deal with it instead. [Read: How to get over someone when your heart does not want to]
#2 Cut off all contact. Staying in touch with your ex, even if things ended on a good note, is not advisable for now. Remove them from your life, to not rely on seeing them. Doing so just acts as a safety blanket and slows the process of getting over them dramatically.
#3 Cry. Allow yourself to cry. It actually helps you! Letting your emotions out and having a good old sob session makes you feel better in the long run. So, don’t try and hold back those tears—though do try to wait until you are somewhere private! [Read: 14 powerful ways to do the impossible and unlove someone]
#4 Distract yourself. There is nothing better for a breakup than distracting yourself by keeping busy. If you don’t, you end up focusing all your energies on your breakup. Realizing you have gone a few hours or even days without thinking about it makes you understand you progress well.
#5 Find new hobbies. Doing new and exciting things makes you feel as though your life is moving forward, so try something new.
#6 Do something different. Do things that scare you or that you never would have dreamed of doing while with your ex. This is a new start and a happier, braver more interesting you—so take advantage. [Read: 12 ways to finally start living for yourself]
#7 Spend time with friends. Friends should rally round to support you during a breakup, so make sure you spend some quality time with them. They’ll help you talk through your emotions and/or ply you with wine!
#8 Spend time with family. Your family supports you no matter what, and sometimes there is nothing nicer then heading home and being looked after by your mom!
#9 Think of the good things. When you’re trying to figure out how to get through a breakup, it’s completely okay to remember the good things in your relationship as well as the bad. Don’t pine for them, just be thankful for the time you had.
#10 Stop blaming yourself. It can be all too easy to get into the blame game and start thinking the reason your relationship ended was because of things you did. It’s done now, so it’s time to forgive yourself and your ex and just move on.
#11 Be honest about what went wrong. At the same time, be honest about what went wrong in your relationship. Sugar coating it only makes it harder to get over. [Read: The 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
#12 Write down the reasons the relationship wasn’t working. Writing down the reasons why the relationship didn’t work can be really helpful. Keep them with you so when you feel sad or get the urge to go running back to your ex you remind yourself why it’s a good thing it’s over.
#13 Get a makeover. Get your hair done, go shopping, get a spray tan. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself, do it. A bit of pampering and relaxation helps you feel so much better.
#14 Exercise. Exercise releases feel-good endorphins, and you begin to experience more energy and feel great about your body, too.
#15 Eat, sleep, and be healthy. It can be easy to stop taking care of yourself when going through a breakup—eating tubs of ice cream, drinking too much, not getting enough sleep, etc. But while it’s fine to indulge occasionally, too much and you only end up feeling worse. So, try to stay healthy if you can. [Read: How to be thankful when life isn’t easy]
#16 Have a wild night out. Something that always works when you’re trying to figure how to get through a breakup is a night out with good friends. Let your hair down and go crazy with your friends on a wild night out!
#17 Have a cozy night in. Get in your pajamas and have a sleepover and cheesy movie night with your friends.
#18 Get rid of their stuff. Having painful reminders dotted about your place will not help you get over them faster. Throw out, return, or at the very least pack away their stuff until you are sure you moved on.
#19 Believe there is someone better for you out there. Your relationship ended for a reason. Even if you didn’t want it to, you wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want you, so just keep that in mind. Know there is someone else out there perfect for you.
#20 Enjoy the single life. Being single is far, far better than being in a relationship that isn’t making you happy. [Read: How to be single again after a relationship]
#21 Reorganize your space. Get a new start by giving your house a makeover. Get some new sheets, a picture, a plant or move your furniture around. This gives you a fresh perspective and makes you feel readier to move on.
#22 Meet new people. Don’t spend your time wallowing around inside. Meet new people and new doors will open!
#23 Beware of the rebound. If you want to know how to get through a breakup, don’t get under someone else immediately. Rushing straight into another relationship or even a fling before you are ready can be dangerous. Try to wait until you feel emotionally stable enough to do so. There is no saying you can’t have fun, but if you are really still upset about your ex, you are more likely to get hurt and feel bad about yourself than anything else.
#24 Talk to a therapist. If things get too much, there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help.
#25 Write down how you feel. Writing your emotions down can actually be very cathartic. Why not give it a try?
#26 Put on some loud music. Music can be wonderful healer. Try to avoid anything too soppy or romantic. Instead put on happy, uplifting tunes and dance around your living room! [Read: 12 awesome breakup songs to lift your sagging spirits]
#27 Get angry. If you need to, it’s okay to get angry too!
#28 Make peace. At the end of the day, you need to forgive and forget. Make sure you make peace with what happened and let it go.
#29 Get out there. When you are ready, get back out there and into the dating game. It might seem scary, but once you take those first few steps it can actually be really fun! [Read: 9 steps to get back out in the dating game]
#30 Give it time. Time is the greatest healer. Don’t expect a miracle cure. You will get there eventually—honest!
These 30 tips help soothe your emotional pain, reflect on your past relationship, help you learn and grow, and become happy and confident in who you are and what you want.
[Read: 15 tips to help you move on from your breakup faster]
So, if you are going through a tough breakup use these tips for how to get through a breakup. Slowly but surely, you’ll start to heal.
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