Breaking up with someone is hard no matter how bad it is. However, getting through one that was particularly traumatic is extra difficult. Knowing how to get over a bad breakup can help you move on faster and start feeling better a lot sooner.
There’s no need to sit in your room alone, devouring ice cream pints like they’re going to put your heart back together again. Ice cream isn’t going to cure your heartache but something else might.
What constitutes a bad breakup?
I think we’ve all had a bad breakup before. If you date enough people, you’re bound to end up heartbroken and full of ice cream at some point. But what makes a breakup so difficult that it’s described as “bad?”
Mostly, it means you weren’t expecting it and didn’t want it or it was a messy breakup in the sense that there was a big fight that blew up. Basically, if your emotions go to the extreme in any direction, it was probably a bad breakup. [Read: 15 of the worst things you can say during a breakup]
How to get over a bad breakup and move on quickly and easily
If you’re going through a bad breakup right now, hang tight. We have some tips that can help you move on from those toxic feelings so you can start living your life normally and happily again.
#1 Let it all out. It’s okay to feel upset. In fact, it’s best to feel how you feel and let it all out at once. Don’t hold it in. That’ll just make matters a hell of a lot worse. So let it all out. Cry and scream and lose yourself in your tears, but only do so for a short amount of time. Once it’s out, leave it there and don’t let it back in.
#2 Then let it all go. Getting upset about it over and over and over again won’t do you any good. It’s best to just let it all out and then let it all go. Once you’ve had your cry and you’ve felt all the pain, let it go.
Don’t let yourself continuously fall into the trap of getting upset about it over and over again to the point of tears and sorrow. Be sad and then move on.
#3 Vent to someone about it. We all need to talk to someone about what’s going on. Getting it all out to a friend, family member, or even a therapist is a fantastic way to get over a bad breakup a lot easier.
Not only is it nice to just let someone else know what’s going on in your head, but it’ll also help to get their perspective. They could offer some insight you may not have received if you never talked to them about it. [Read: How to handle resentment and overcome it]
#4 Get rid of anything that reminds you of them. Now is not the time to go through photo albums and wear all of their clothes they left over. Now is the time to get rid of it. Throw it away. Give it back to them. Hell, burn it all if you really want.
The point is to keep yourself from thinking about that person and what you had together. If you want to know how to get over a bad breakup, you need to remember that there’s no point in dwelling about something that’s lost. Toss their belongings so it doesn’t spur some less than positive feelings from you.
#5 Distract yourself with fun and friends. The less you think about the bad breakup, the easier it’ll be to get over. Time is really all you need and when you’re busy doing things you love, you don’t have time to think about it. After a while, you’ll realize that you got over it while you were busy having fun.
#6 Realize that it’s not the end of love for you. It’s easy to think that just because one love ended that that’s it. No more love for you. That’s just not the case.
You need to remember that there’s still love out there. In fact, there’s BETTER love out there. And after all, you deserve something better and someone who makes you happier. It’s still out there and the more you try to focus on how to get over a bad breakup, the sooner you’ll find that person. [Read: 10 signs that’ll make you believe true love exists]
#7 Write down how you feel and burn the letter. This is a very therapeutic way of getting over a bad breakup. First, sit down and write a letter to your ex about how you’re feeling. Write down every little thing you can think of and everything you’re feeling.
Then fold it up and light it on fire. Watch it burn and imagine those emotions leaving your body as the paper burns. This is a great way to kind of tell that person how you feel without actually having the backlash of telling them to their face.
#8 Delete their social media and phone number. You don’t want reminders of them. The more you see them, the more you’ll think about how upset you are about the breakup and you’ll never get over it.
It might be hard, but you have to delete all of it. Get rid of their number so you’re not tempted to text them and delete their social media so you don’t have to see updates of their life all the time. It’ll be easier that way.
#9 Treat yourself to something special. This could be anything from a back massage to a new outfit. Just treat yourself. Do something nice that’ll make you feel great. During a time when you feel crappy and trying to figure out how to get over a bad breakup, it’ll really help you get on the right track if you put a little extra effort into yourself. [Read: 11 tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better you]
#10 Avoid romantic movies. These will only make you feel worse about your situation. That, and they’re just not realistic. You never see the bad parts of relationships in romantic movies. All you really get is the happy ending and since our ending wasn’t happy, it’ll just hurt you more.
#11 Listen to upbeat songs. In fact, avoid sad, gloomy songs and put together a playlist of only feel-good tunes that put you in a great mood. Listen to this on repeat every single day. Wake up to it and go to bed listening to it. You’ll feel better in no time.
#12 Give it some time. Time heals all – including a heart. Your breakup may be bad but it’s not forever and it’s not fatal. You’ll get through this with some patience. Just remember to breathe and take it one day at a time.
[Read: How to survive the first 168 hours after a breakup]
Think of a bad breakup like an injury. You don’t expect a broken bone to heal overnight, do you? No. You need a cast, some medication, lots of rest, and time to let it heal. A bad breakup is the same way and the medications you need are these tips.
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