If you’re struggling with getting over someone, you may need help to make it happen. But are you actually able to get over a person completely?
There are so many reasons to have the need of getting over someone. They broke your heart. They did something awful to you. Or maybe they were just a bad friend and you want them gone from your memory.
The thing is, it might not be that simple. You wish there was some device that could wipe only that person from your memory but our brains don’t work that way. Often times, wanting to get over someone just makes them stand out more in our heads.
Can you really ever get over someone for good?
This is a pretty big debate out there. Some say you can easily get over someone with time and distance while others claim that it depends on how deep you got into it with someone.
The truth? They’re both right to a certain degree. If you were in love with someone and with them for years and years, there might never be an end in sight for those feelings. On the other hand, if you were in love and only for a short period of time, it’ll be a little easier. [Read: How to get over someone when you heart doesn’t want to]
But can getting over someone be made a lot easier?
Yes. Although it’ll be hard no matter what, you can always work to get over someone you once cared for. If you’re struggling with your feelings for them and don’t know where to start, we’ve got you covered.
#1 Talk to someone professionally. If it’s been a while and you’re still having a hard time getting over someone, go ahead and talk to a professional. It’s their job to help you.
You may have some deeper feelings that are getting in the way of getting over someone and you can’t find them yourself. There’s nothing wrong with getting professional help when it comes to something as serious as this.
#2 Think about why it’s so hard. And I mean really think about it. Don’t just throw away thoughts of that person because you don’t want to see them. While that may seem like the easy way to get over them, it actually might make things worse.
#3 Get closure. Sometimes you never really need closure. In fact, it can be harmful in some cases but if you’ve tried so many other things, this might be your best bet. Go talk to them. Ask them for a civilized conversation and just determine what happened so you can walk away with all the information.
#4 Let go of unresolved feelings. If you’re having trouble getting over someone, chances are you probably have strong feelings left over for them. You really have to let them go. These things can’t stay bottled up forever and if they are, you may never get over that person.
#5 Accept what happened. Usually, there’s a situation that prompts the need to get over someone in the first place. Whether it’s a breakup or any other sad event, you just have to accept it.
You can’t dwell on the fact that it happened because that won’t change anything. It’s in the past and you can’t go back and alter history. Let it stay where it is – behind you. [Read: How to deal with a breakup with a smile]
#6 Keep yourself busy. Ultimately, one of the best ways to get over someone is to just stay busy. Keep yourself and your mind occupied so you don’t have to think about them. The less time you spend thinking about them, the easier it’ll be for them to drift away from your mind for good.
#7 Open up to your friends. More often than not, they’ll want to help you. They care about you and if you say you want to get over someone, they’ll be there to help. Ask them not to talk about that person or do anything that would remind you of them.
#8 Delete all of their social accounts and phone number. You really don’t need to keep seeing their face pop up everywhere. Once again, you don’t need to be reminded of them. So get rid of everything you have with their face on it.
All social profiles and phone numbers should be deleted. You can even get rid of all those pictures you have of them on your phone or on your social profiles. The less you have to see someone, the less you’ll think about them. [Read: 8 most common post-breakup mistakes you should never do]
#9 Quit pining over them. This is hard. You first have to admit to yourself that you’re pining and then you have to just stop. Force yourself to have more self-respect and move on from them. Think about all the positive effects of not having them in your life and that will help.
#10 Shut down thoughts of them as they come. You have to retrain your mind. It’s hard, but not impossible. When you start thinking of them, immediately think of something else. Get distracted somehow.
Listen to music or watch a YouTube video – do anything that’ll get your mind on anything but them. This will help your mind learn that the second those thoughts pop up they should go away.
#11 Avoid stuff that reminds you of them. Any shows or places that make you think of them have to be avoided until you’re over them. It’s too hard to try to keep your mind off of them when every single reminder of time with them is right there.
#12 Accept that you might not be able to get over them. There are just certain people we’ll always have feelings for. They never really go away. You can avoid thinking about them and even seeing them all you want but deep down, that feeling might remain.
The best thing to do in this case is to just accept that. Acknowledge that they were a huge part of your life but that’s over. Then move on with your life.