You’ve been hooking up with this person, but you think it would be nice to take things to the next level. First, learn how to make your hookup miss you.
If you want to take your hookup to a relationship, good for you. There’s nothing wrong with following your heart and trying it out. Of course, that being said, if you want that to happen, you’ll need to change your game up a bit. Starting with how to make your hookup miss you.
You’ve probably been hooking up with this person for a while and developed feelings for them. At this stage, you have two options: cut the relationship or see if you can take it to the next level. If you’re reading this, we all know you chose the latter. And listen, there’s no shame in this.
I was never good at taking the hookup and turning it into a relationship. I just couldn’t do it. So, I would wait for them to end it since I wasn’t going to do it myself. But from all of that drama *and trust me, it was all drama*, I learned what not to do.
And from my friends who managed to achieve this goal, they changed the way they interacted with their hookups and made it work. So, if this is something you want to achieve, there are some things you should do. Now, this isn’t a guarantee that this person wants to be with you, but it may work.
#1 Give them some space. When we like someone, we make the mistake of smothering them. And when you smother them, they run the other way. So, if you want to know how to make a hookup miss you, give them some space and time for them to think about it. If you’re suffocating them, the only thing they think about is how to get you away from them. [Read: Am I clingy? How to reveal the truth to yourself]
#2 Don’t give them what they want. A hookup wants sex. This is basically the entire reason why hookup relationships exist. Of course, this doesn’t mean you cut them off completely, but you don’t need to give them what they want the minute they ask for it. It’s your body; you be in control of it. They can handle a ‘no.’
#3 You’re not just a hot body. This is important. If you want your hookup to miss you, they need to understand you’re more than just a hot bod. You have a personality, a soul. They should understand that. For them to see this, you should let your personality shine and show off the best of you. [Read: How to be more interesting and make anyone want to know you better]
#4 Keep living your life. Don’t make your life revolve around them. I made this mistake, and it’s not worth it. You have your own life outside of this relationship, so go and live it. This isn’t a serious relationship *at least not yet*, so make it be something more than it is.
#5 Leave on a high note. You don’t need to spend the night after a round of amazing sex. Instead, I recommend leaving on a high note. Yup! This will make them crave you even more. Plus, they’re not able to get seconds. So, after rocking their world, go home or tell them it’s time to go home.
#6 Make a real connection. When you hook up, spend some time talking with each other. Get to know each other outside of just having sex. There’s nothing wrong with texting each other outside of the bedroom, either. But make sure it’s not one-sided. [Read: The signs your casual relationship is starting to get serious]
#7 Don’t chase them. Oh god, this is a mistake everyone makes. We like someone, we want them to like us back, and then we chase them like we’re a dog that hasn’t eaten in months. Yeah, it’s not a good look, and if anything, it makes the person pull themselves further away from you. Don’t chase them. Give them the same amount of attention as they give you. [Read: How to keep your hookup really interested even after sleeping with them]
#8 Stop depending on them for happiness. I know you want your hookup to come running into your arms, confessing their feelings for you. But relax a bit. This person entered your life as a hookup. In general, you shouldn’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands. You make your own happiness. Don’t depend on them to make you feel fulfilled.
#9 Understand what they’re looking for. You can be doing all of this work to learn how to make your hookup miss you, but do you know if they even want anything more than just a hookup?
#10 Let them work for what they want. If they want you, they’ll need to put in some elbow grease. Yes, you want them to miss you, but for them to miss you, they’ll need to show they want you.
Don’t be so quick to hand them everything they want on a silver platter. This is why your relationship is just a hookup. You give each other sexual gratification without the chase.
#11 See other people. Yes, you want more from your hookup, but what you have is still just a hookup. Odds are they’re probably seeing other people, and you shouldn’t limit and tie yourself down when it’s not a committed relationship. See other people, and think whether or not these feelings are genuine. [Read: How to tell when a FWB is catching feelings, too]
#12 In the end, you can’t force them to miss you. Listen, I know you want your hookup to miss you, and you can do everything on this list perfectly. But at the end of the day, you cannot make someone have feelings for you. If they end up missing you, great. If not, then all this was meant to be is a hookup and nothing more.