When we agree to an FWB relationship, we think it’s the best of both worlds. But do guys get attached to friend with benefits?
You may be surprised, thinking, well, do guys get attached to friend with benefits? The answer is yes. When you have sex with someone, you share energy and an intimate part of your life. Of course, having sex once or twice with someone doesn’t mean that there’s a deep emotional connection. However, as friends with benefits, you’re having frequent sex which makes things complicated.
When I was younger, I thought a friends with benefits relationship would be a great idea. We’d have casual sex, hang out, yet not have the commitments of a relationship.
Did we hang out all the time? Yes. Did we have sex? Yes. Ideally, it’s the perfect plan. But we forget one thing: we’re human beings. And when it comes to people, we’re all emotional, regardless of what you’d like to think.
I know, I know, you thought you’d be able to get through a friends with benefits relationship without emotions and you did. However, you think that maybe your friends with benefits partner isn’t so emotionally unattached. He’s only human, after all…
#1 He hangs around when not having sex. Friends with benefits isn’t usually leaning on the friend’s side. If anything, it’s a term people use when two people kinda know each other and want to have sex.
In the beginning, it was strictly sex and maybe some cuddling. Now, he calls you to catch a movie or some ice cream. If he’s incorporating you into non-sexual activities where you don’t even have sex at the end of it, he’s getting attached. [Read: Remember these rules for a FWB relationship]
#2 He meets your friends. Usually, friends with benefits relationships stay away from other people. You keep that on the down low and rarely do people know that you’re sleeping together. I mean, only your closest friends know of him. But now, he’s meeting your friends, hanging out with you guys. He’s showing face. By him showing up, he stakes a claim.
#3 You text/phone each other. And not to plan a time to meet up. You both text or talk to each other on the phone just to say hi or talk about your day. This is no longer a friends with benefits relationship, there are some feelings floating around. If he calls and texts you, he’s into you. If he didn’t like you, he’d keep his communication levels to strictly hooking up. [Read: All the subtle signs your fling is turning into a relationship]
#4 You communicate. Not just about sex, you both actually talk about deep things. And he listens. When someone is interested in you, they want to listen to you, to see how your brain functions and what you think about. If not, he would keep the conversation shallow.
#5 You don’t always have sex. If you were strictly a friends with benefits, you may hang out, but sex is usually awaiting you at the end. Plus, usually, the hangout itself is sexual. Maybe you’re watching a movie or going for a swim at the beach. But he actually doesn’t expect sex at the end of the hangout, nor does he make a move. Sex isn’t the first thing that’s on his mind when he’s with you. [Read: All the signs he wants you to be his girlfriend]
#6 You’ve met his family and friends. No man, listen to me carefully, no man would introduce you to his parents and close friends if you were just some girl he was hooking up with. They would not open themselves up to all the questions they’re going to be asked. If he introduces you to his family and close friends, then he’s showing you off and seeking their approval.
#7 Your opinion matters. Maybe you’re talking about future universities or the car he wants to buy, and he asks for your opinion. If he didn’t care about what you thought, he wouldn’t have asked you. Men don’t ask people for their opinions because they’re worried it emasculates them. However, if he’s asking your opinion for something serious like emotional or work issues, he values you.
#8 He opens up to you. Men will not open up to people who they are just having sex with. However, if they feel an emotional connection, they’ll open up to you.
#9 He shows PDA. If he’s touching you, holding your hands, rubbing your back, or hugging you, specifically in public, he’s getting attached. This is non-verbal communication and shows you a lot about how he’s feeling about you. If he never touches you in public, he may not be developing feelings. However, if he’s more handsy then he’s becoming attached.
#10 He comes to you for support. Now, if the guy isn’t into you for more than sex, he’s not going to tell you anything about his life. But if he likes you and he’s opening up to you, he feels more comfortable to come to you for support and advice. He may text you with good *or bad* news, he asks out to come with him to certain events, and he keeps you in his regular plans.
#11 He surprises you. Usually, you wouldn’t rely on your friends with benefits to do anything for you. But he’s different. He surprises you with little things, maybe comes over when you’re sick or takes you to the movies. A true friend with benefits is more like a “come over and let’s watch Netflix” relationship. But, he’s going out of his way to do things for you. [Read: How to decode a guy’s body language]
#12 He likes to impress you. Now, this one is tricky as most guys like to do this whether they become attached or not. This is partially their ego talking. However, if he’s emotionally attracted to you, he shows off his intelligence and loyalty.