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15 Tinder Tips You Can NOT Ignore if You Ever Want a Date

Tinder Tips

Ahhh… Tinder. Gotta love its hook-up reputation, huh? It has evolved, but you have to know what you’re doing. So, here are some Tinder tips.

Online dating *and dating apps like Tinder* should be easy for people. But all I ever hear are complaints. Most people don’t even get dates. Or if they do, they have total horror stories to tell as a result.

So, why is it so hard to snag a date in the online dating world? Well, it’s probably because people do it all wrong. It’s amazing how many times I look at some profiles and think, “Oh you poor thing… you really need me to help you write your profile!” I’m not trying to sound arrogant, but being a communication professor, I teach about these things… including what makes a good online dating profile.

Tinder tips you can NOT ignore

The problem is, most people don’t take classes like mine. Instead, they just fumble through the dating world hoping to get someone to notice them. And even if they do, they might not find anyone that they would want a relationship with. So, here are some Tinder tips for you… basically the super important Dos and Don’ts. Let’s start with the Don’ts.

Don’t…

#1 Forget to use photos. Come on, people. Do you REALLY want to go out with someone who doesn’t even have a picture? It can mean a lot of things. First, they are too lazy to put up a photo. Or maybe they’re married and they don’t want their spouse to find them.

Or maybe they don’t think they are attractive and are afraid to put a picture up. In any of these scenarios, it’s not a good thing. So, don’t be one of those people… use photos! And also, don’t bother contacting people who don’t use them either. [Confession of a girl: I used a dating site without a photo and this is what happened]

#2 Use old photos. I know you think you looked good in your high school graduation picture from 10 or more years ago. Even if it was just 5 years ago, people change. If you don’t put up recent photos of yourself, you are basically deceiving everyone.

And if you snag a date, they might have a look of shock on their face and run screaming toward the door because you look different. I’m exaggerating, of course. But it happens. It really does. So, make sure you put photos up that are no older than a year. And also… just don’t misrepresent yourself in any way, shape, or form… AKA, don’t lie! This is one of the biggest Tinder tips of all.

#3 Use sexy/half-naked photos. I know Tinder has a reputation for being a hookup site, but that doesn’t mean you have to sink to that level. Well, I guess if you really are just looking for sex and a hookup, then maybe that’s the message you want to put out there.

But really, it degrades you. It screams desperation, and no one wants to date a desperate person, right? Save the sexy photos for when you are off Tinder and in a relationship. [Read: 18 things you do that makes guys think you’re an easy lay]

#4 Use photos of objects instead of yourself. This is one of the Tinder tips not a lot of people think about. Guys, the ladies are not dating your motorcycle. Or your fish. Or your house. They are dating YOU. We don’t care that you caught a big fish or are a Harley dude.

We want to see your face and body, just like you want to see ours. And ladies, guys aren’t dating your cat, or your kids, or a beautiful sunset. They are trying to date YOU. I think you all get the point, right?

#5 Use photos that don’t show your face. This kind of goes along with not using photos. There are a lot of people who put up pictures of their body parts… I’m sure you’ve seen them. The chests, or the wet t-shirts *for girls* or strategically wet, sheer boxers for guys *where you can basically see everything.*

That’s just not respectable. You have a brain, right? And a personality? Show THAT! Even if you do want to have sex, you don’t have to put your body out there like that. Of all the Tinder tips to keep in mind, make sure you respect yourself. [Read: Dick selfies – Why men love sending dick pics to women]

#6 Use crowd photos. Hey, it’s great that you and ten of your friends had fun at Mardi Gras or the Kentucky Derby. But ummm… which one are YOU? If you use crowd photos, at least point out where you are in the picture.

Even if it’s a picture of you and another person, they can wonder “Hey, is that his girlfriend or ex-wife in the photo?” or “Hmmm… two girls in this picture… which one is she?” You should stick to pictures of you, and only you, if at all possible.

#7 Use selfies or bad photos. I know we live in the age of selfies. But please, for the love of God, don’t use them!! Especially the ones where you are in a public bathroom and you’re holding the camera in front of your face trying to look sexy.

Selfies make people think, “Don’t they have any friends to take a picture of them?” And “Why the heck are they in a public bathroom doing this?” It’s kind of creepy. Just don’t do it. Have a friend take pictures of you in good lighting at a good angle… in a respectable location.

#8 Forget to write something! How do we know if we want to date you if you say absolutely nothing about yourself? Okay, maybe some people are more picky that others and are just looking at the pictures.

But this is your chance to put your best self out there to get a date or a relationship. Is saying NOTHING really putting your best self forward? I don’t think so. This is one of the Tinder tips that seems kind of obvious, but it’s not. [Read: The 30 best and worst words to use when you describe yourself online]

#9 Say “I hate talking about myself” or “If you want to know, just ask.” If you hate talking about yourself, that sends the message that you have low self-esteem. I mean, if you had decent self-confidence, you should have no problem telling the world all about you because you are proud of who you are.

And if you say “If you want to know, just ask,” well, that’s just lazy. If other people take the time to write something about themselves, why are you requiring them to put in more effort by asking you about yourself. People, it doesn’t take a lot of time to write a short bio. Don’t be lazy. Put in some effort!

#10 Use improper grammar, type in all capitals, or write only one sentence. Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t stand when someone can’t spell, doesn’t use decent grammar, or has one big long run on sentence.

I understand that not everyone is highly educated, but again, you are putting your best self out there. If you’re not a good writer, then have someone help you with it. Grab your mom or a friend to help you. It gives a MUCH better impression to people when you can actually be articulate. [Read: How to spot the liars in an online dating site]

Do…

Now that we’ve covered some of the don’ts *there are more, but then this feature would turn into a book,* let’s cover some Tinder tips regarding what you SHOULD do.

#1 Smile and show your eyes. Don’t you want to date a friendly person? Of course you do! We all do. So, why not try to look friendly in your photos by smiling? It’s not too hard to smile, right?

Also, don’t wear sunglasses. Why? That doesn’t sound like a big deal, right? I mean, sunglasses can look pretty cool. Well, the reason is because you are hiding your eyes. And the eyes are the window to the soul.

So, if you’re covering them up, then it looks like you are hiding something. You look shady *no pun intended… okay, well maybe*. People might get the subconscious message that you could be a liar. [Read: 30 effective tips to help you win at online dating]

#2 Look respectable. As I said earlier, please don’t use sexy photos. I mean, you don’t go to work with your shirt down to your belly button *at least I hope not*, so don’t do it… even on Tinder. You don’t have to be all buttoned up in a 3-piece suit, but makes sure you look like you respect yourself. Dess nicely, and pose in a polite manner.

#3 Introduce yourself if you match up with someone. If you swipe right, why wouldn’t you contact that person? I mean, maybe you’re just bored, but think about the other person. They want to meet you!

So, reach out and start talking. It seems quite silly to me to swipe right and never even interact with the person. It’s almost like you’re saying, “Hey you’re cute, but I really have no desire to even talk to you let alone go out with you.” Then why bother? Start talking!! [Read: Creative Tinder lines to snag you a date on the first try]

#4 Try to engage in a conversation. When you do start talking, make it meaningful. Just saying “heyyy” or “hey beautiful” or “what’s up” is really boring. Put some effort into it! Mention something you liked about their profile or their photos *without being creepy*.

Ask them where they are from, about their job, or if they have any kids. Get to know them. Pretend like you’re talking to them face-to-face. You’re not going to get to know them by saying “heyyyy.” [Read: Signs a girl likes you on Tinder – 15 things to keep an eye on]

#5 Keep up the conversation. In other words… don’t disappear on them! Okay, I know. You were bored on a Friday night with nothing to do. You guys messaged each other for a couple of hours. But maybe that person is really interested in you. So why would you disappear? What’s the point? It’s just wasted time.

So, make a real, concerted effort to keep a conversation going. And if at some point you realize you don’t like them anymore, be gentle and kind in telling them that you don’t think you’ll be a good match. Trust me, that’s the classy thing to do, and people will appreciate you for it.

[Read: Online dating woes – 8 most common Tinder horror stories you’ll come across in real life]

Online dating can either be fun or a nightmare. You just need to know how to do it right. So, if you follow these Tinder tips, you will find your soul mate in no time!

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Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...

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