The concept of Tinder is so easy a toddler might be able to do it—if it was legal. But the signs a girl likes you on Tinder are a little bit more complicated. But have you covered.
When I first started using the app, I didn’t even linger too long on the instructions. Heck, I didn’t read it at all and ended up swiping right on people I didn’t even like! When I finally realized my mistake, I started Tindering the right way. By making my choice based on how a person looked and what they typed.
It was so convenient I ended up making dozens of connections that I didn’t know what to do with. Unfortunately, I realized after a few conversations that physically matching with a person was not enough. I was exhausted by the end of the day. *Don’t judge me. Just admit that you got sucked into it for hours like I did.*
How do girls check to see if they’ll like a guy on Tinder?
Here’s how I ended up choosing the people I went out with. First, I ignored all the “Hey’s.” The next thing I did was give the “Hey, what’s up?’s,” a chance to prove their worth with their second replies. Lastly, I sniffed out red flags when I ended up having a longer conversation with the people I matched with. It was convenient. I was efficient. I am still single. [Read: Online dating woes – 8 most common Tinder horror stories]
Long story short, even if I physically matched with someone, there was a point where I realized that I did not like them and never would. Obviously, I wasn’t giving them a fair chance—but it was Tinder. I had the time to date someone for a while, but I chose not to because I was programmed to make an immediate decision. Why? Because I literally had thousands of other potential matches.
If I didn’t like something someone said, or how they acted on the date, I was not inclined to call them out in order to give them a second chance. That is totally wrong of me, but I’m not a confrontational person. I tell it to them through Tinder messages, so it feels like we’ve come full circle.
“I don’t think this is going to work? Why? Because you did not offer to let me sit on a bench when I said was tired and wanted to sit!”
It’s usually the little things, but those usually end up evolving into something bigger and more problematic. Say, a guy passively commenting he liked women who wore this and that, knowing full well I do not own a pair of Doc Martens, nor will I ever. So, me liking someone was not based on how well we connected during our dates and conversations. It was based on how long we could keep that connection intact.
I’m not saying I am a great catch. Lord knows how many people swiped left on me and how many ignored my “Hey’s” as well. I am only elaborating on how a girl approaches Tinder. Some might not feel the same way I do, but I can attest I am not alone in how I deal with Tinder guys. If you look here, here, and here, lots of women feel the same way. [Read: The 9 best hookup apps for the hot and horny]
So how will you know if a girl likes you?
When it comes to showing a guy how much I like him, I keep it simple. I try not to play mind games with guys I do like, and ghost *ignoring someone until they go away* the ones I don’t like. If I like them, I am physically upfront about it. If I don’t like them, I am verbally *online, if I can help it—I’m too chicken to do it in person* upfront about it.
When I say physically, I mean I try to show the guys how much I like them by showing them, by acting appropriately and as transparently as possible. As much as I would like to express my like for them verbally, it’s not an effective route for me. I’m shy. I overthink. I don’t always know what to say. And whatever it is I do is not exclusive to me.
Lots of girls are in the same boat as me, which is why I am telling you what to look for to find out if they really like you. [Read: 18 body language cues a girl gives away if she likes you]
#1 You continue to communicate for a month or more. Of course, most Tinder matches talk for a while before they decide to move forward with their relationship. However, most people move on to a new match if the previous one doesn’t work out. If you and the girl you matched with are still exchanging messages by the end of the first month, she probably likes you. [Read: 30 effective tips to help you win at online dating]
#2 You’ll get a second date. Tinder users work fast, like really fast. Everything is decided on the first date. The deal is mentally closed on the second. If she agrees to go on the next one, you didn’t do anything wrong yet. She definitely saw or felt something that bodes well for you.
#3 She might initiate the third date. If she finally shows interest in seeing you again without waiting for you to ask, you are in. Just make sure to ask if she’s seeing anybody else. Whatever her answer is, make sure you’re ready to deal with it.
#4 She texts you first. Sometimes. A lot of girls I know are still playing the “He has to text first” game. I don’t know why, but it seems to work for people who aren’t in a relationship yet. If a girl decides you’re worth it, she swallows her god-damned pride and sends the first message of the day. [Read: Make her yours: How to flirt with a girl over text]
#5 She may use an emoji or two. Not all women are emoji users, but sometimes there’s a good chance she’s showing you some love when she uses some of the more endearing emojis—like the kissy face emoji and the heart eyes emoji. Trust me. That is some next-level texting.
#6 She’ll let you meet her friends. Her friends will be the judge, jury, and supreme court justice of your budding relationship. The fact she wants you to meet them is a sign she is ready to get their blessing to move forward. It doesn’t count when you meet them coincidentally.
#7 She’ll ask to meet your friends or say yes when you offer. If meeting her friends is not yet on the table, your friends will be the next best thing. If she asks to meet them or says yes when you ask, she is probably hoping to make a good impression. [Read: 13 signs your friends are ruining your relationship]
#8 She’ll let you talk to her on the phone for hours. Nobody stays on the phone with you for more than two minutes if they don’t like you. Thank your lucky stars she’s willing to hear you say, “So, what are you doing?” for the umpteenth time.
#9 She FaceTimes you. Plus, points if she’s all dolled up at home when you FaceTime her. It’s practically a date nowadays, so it’s a good sign she’s willing to look at you even when she doesn’t have to.
#10 She follows you on more than two social media platforms. This is a bit tricky, but usually, when a girl wants to get access to all your accounts, it means she wants to be updated on what’s going on with your life. If she only adds you on Facebook, that means she was just doing a preliminary background check.
Things to remember
Before you pump your fist up after checking off this list, here are some reminders about what not to assume about a girl. Just because some aspects of your communication or relationship are going well, it does not mean that she genuinely likes you.
#1 Sex is not a confirmation. Sorry, guys. Having sex is not a reliable marker for genuine affection.
Maybe in the old days, but women are more empowered in this day and age. Some don’t see it as a symbolic expression of love. At times, it could just be a test drive or a way for them to express their sexuality. Remember that genuine affection is based on more than just sex. [Read: From crush to companion: The 12 stages of intimacy]
#2 Adding you on Facebook is not a sign of anything. Like I said before; don’t get your hopes up and think that it’s a sign of trust. I’m actually surprised some guys think girls on Tinder like them because they’re willing to take things out of the app. Sorry, guys, but it’s only for research purposes.
#3 Replying to your message is only polite. Just because she answers your questions, it doesn’t mean she’s interested in a conversation. It’s hard to know if a girl likes you through text, so you’re better off looking for other signs that she likes you instead. [Read: 14 important dos and don’ts of online dating]
#4 You are not the only Tinder guy on her list. You are not “The One.” So, please don’t act like it and assume you’re already in. Step your game up until the time she deletes her profile and the Tinder guys she added on Facebook. [Read: Instant chemistry: 25 flirty questions to ask a girl you like]
#5 Happily ever after only happens when you DTR *Define the relationship*. Once you’ve established she really likes you, it’s still not over. The only way to know if you’re on your way to a healthy and fulfilling love life is to discuss whether you’re in it for the long haul or if you’re just another right swipe on her roster.
[Read: Creative Tinder lines to snag you a date on the very first try]
Now that you’ve read about the signs, do you think the girl you met on Tinder likes you? Tell us in the comments below.
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