31 Online Dating Tips for Men & Secrets to Go from Ignored-Guy to Dating-GOD!

With so many dating profiles out there, figure out how to stand out among the rest. If you want to succeed, memorize these online dating tips for men.

online dating tips for men

Imagine this: You’re staring at your phone, thumb hovering over yet another dating profile. She loves dogs, hikes, and has a picture with someone who might be her sibling or ex—you can’t really tell. You swipe right. Now what? If the world of online dating feels like a never-ending maze of profiles, blurred selfies, and questionable “ice-breakers,” you’re not alone. The good news? We’ve got your back with online dating tips for men that will make this experience less of a battlefield and more of a playground. Stick with us, and you’ll become the James Bond of online dating—suave, yet sincere.

The Male Psychology of Online Dating

Ever wondered why you feel compelled to make the first move or hesitate to show vulnerability in online chats? Don’t worry, it’s not just you.

It all ties back to Social Role Theory, which helps us understand traditional roles that still subtly—sometimes not so subtly—influence our online interactions.

We’ll explore this more as we delve into online dating tips for men to navigate these roles smartly.
Social Role Theory posits that men and women have been socialized into specific roles that affect their behavior, and guess what? This applies to the digital dating sphere too.

Historically, men have been the “providers” and “initiators,” while women have been the “caretakers” and “responders.” Yeah, it sounds archaic, but remnants of these roles still seep into our modern interactions. [Read: Masculinity vs femininity – 27 traits, stereotypes and their unique strengths]

So, what does this mean for you, the 21st-century man swiping away? You might feel pressured to always take the initiative, to be interesting yet not too intense, or to display confidence but not arrogance. Sounds like a tightrope walk, doesn’t it?

The key takeaway here is awareness. Being conscious of these dynamics allows you to act rather than react.

Creating Your Dating Profile

Okay, so how do you actually start making a splash in the digital dating pool? We’ve got online dating tips for men that cover two of the most crucial elements: your profile picture and your bio.

Trust us, these aren’t mere trivialities as psychology has plenty to say about how these two elements can make or break your dating game.

Your Profile Picture: A Thousand Words

We’ve all heard the saying that a picture is worth a thousand words, but let’s add a psychological layer to that. Ever heard of the “physical attractiveness stereotype“?

This is where people tend to attribute positive qualities like intelligence and kindness to good-looking individuals. Unfair but true. With that, here are some tips for the perfect shot:

1. Natural Light

When it comes to lighting, Mother Nature knows best. Natural light softens your features and brings out the true colors of your eyes, skin, and clothing.

Moreover, according to a study in visual psychology, our brains are naturally wired to find natural lighting more appealing. So step outside or position yourself near a window, and let the sun do its magic.

2. Genuine Smile

In the realm of social psychology, nothing beats a genuine smile. It’s more than just flashing your teeth, it’s about expressing real enjoyment.

A genuine smile can actually boost your attractiveness and approachability. So skip the “tough guy” grimace and go for a smile that reaches your eyes—it’s universally irresistible.

3. No Filters

Heavily filtered photos make you appear less trustworthy, according to a study. [Read: How to spot the liars in an online dating site]

Why? Well, it comes down to authenticity. Filters may give you that “perfect” look, but they also scream, “This isn’t the real me.” So trust that you’re good enough as you are and go filter-free.

4. Proper Framing

While extreme close-ups or overly distant shots might be artistically intriguing, they don’t work well for dating profiles.

A medium shot *waist-up or chest-up* is generally the most appealing. The idea behind is that it strikes a happy balance. You’re close enough to be recognizable and showcase your features, but not so close that it becomes awkward or uncomfortable for the viewer.

It’s like the Goldilocks zone of profile pictures; it gives viewers just the right amount of visual information to feel connected but not overwhelmed.

This framing technique makes your photo more approachable, inviting people to get to know you better without diving straight into your personal space.

Essentially, it’s the visual equivalent of a warm, friendly handshake.

5. Dress to Impress

Dressing well not only sends a message to others but also has a significant impact on how you feel about yourself. When you’re confident in what you’re wearing, that inner assurance radiates outward, creating a magnetic pull of attraction.

Psychologically speaking, what you wear sends signals about your personality.

So, pick an outfit that reflects who you are and how you want to be perceived, because your clothes are essentially doing some of the talking for you before you even say a word. [Read: How to dress to impress a girl & get more than just a second glance]

Crafting the Ultimate Bio

Your bio isn’t just a list of your hobbies and the last book you’ve read. Your goal here is to showcase your true self in a compelling manner. Here are some bullet points for crafting the ultimate bio:

1. Be Specific

Being specific is your chance to go beyond surface-level interests and connect on a more intimate wavelength.

For instance, saying “I love music” is nice, but saying “I’m a die-hard fan of indie rock and have a vinyl collection” is infinitely more compelling.

It not only provides a detailed look into your life but also gives your potential match a real conversation starter.

This specificity adds richness to your profile and piques the curiosity of those looking for someone more than just “nice” or “fun.” [Read: 30 best & worst words to describe yourself online & catch anyone’s eye]

2. Show, Don’t Tell

It’s always better to demonstrate your traits than just stating them. Saying “I’m funny” doesn’t cut it, but cracking a joke or sharing a humorous anecdote adds character and proof.

It allows others to experience your personality firsthand. You’re essentially telling a mini-story that lets people “feel” your sense of humor, rather than just reading about it. This makes your profile memorable and gives it a dynamic edge.

3. Be Honest, But Not An Open Book

Transparency is good, but too much information can be a conversation killer. While you want to be genuine, there’s no need to put all your cards on the table right away.

You can say you love hiking and the outdoors, but you don’t need to mention that you have a fear of spiders—that’s date number three material right there.

Leaving some details undisclosed makes you more intriguing and leaves space for future conversations and exploration. It also gives you both something to look forward to in getting to know each other better. [Read: How to get a girl’s attention and impress her before even saying a word]

Making the First Move and Mastering the Texting Game

Okay, let’s get real. You’re swipe-worthy, you’ve got a match *or two*, and now it’s time to actually talk. What’s the game plan?

Men are often expected to make the first move, thanks in part to traditional social norms. But how do you strike the balance between coming on too strong and appearing too passive?

The key to striking this delicate balance is to show genuine interest without laying it on too thick. A simple compliment paired with an open-ended question can work wonders. [Read: Texting a girl for the first time – 55 tips and first text examples to make her smile]

It not only opens the door for the other person to engage with you but also allows room for the conversation to flow naturally without forcing it.

Here are some key online dating tips for men that explore how to make the first move without stumbling and how to navigate those early conversations.

1. Personalize Your Message

Initiating the conversation with something specific from her profile signals that you’ve done your homework. This shows you’re genuinely interested in her as an individual.

No one wants to feel like they’re just another face in a sea of matches. A personalized message can go a long way in making her feel special and singled out for attention.

2. Balance Humor and Sincerity

Injecting a bit of humor into your opening message can break the ice, making the conversation more enjoyable right from the start. But follow it up with a sincere compliment or question about something specific in her profile.

This balanced approach not only makes the conversation more engaging but also conveys a nuanced personality—someone who can both make her laugh and engage in meaningful dialogue. [Read: 77 funny things to text a girl and make her laugh and love you over text]

3. Reciprocity in Action

Sharing something about yourself opens the door for her to share as well. Instead of barraging her with questions, provide some info about your own interests or experiences.

This creates a two-way street where both of you are actively involved in the conversation, making it feel more like a dialogue rather than an interview.

4. Consistent Communication

Keeping a consistent text conversation is crucial. If you start off texting her morning, noon, and night, and then suddenly drop off to radio silence, you’ll increase uncertainty and could raise some red flags.

So keep the communication flow steady, but don’t turn into a texting machine. There’s a difference between being engaging and being overly clingy. [Read: The talking stage: What it is, how long it lasts and signs & ways to get past it]

5. Be Straight with Your Intention

If you’re looking for something serious, don’t shy away from saying so—likewise if you’re just in it for some casual fun.

Knowing what you both want can cut down a lot of the guesswork and ensures that you’re both on the same page, reducing uncertainty even further.

6. Keep it Light

While it’s great to have deep and meaningful conversations, you might want to save the heavy-duty life stories for later. Keeping things light, especially in the beginning, can make the getting-to-know-you phase enjoyable and low-stakes.

7. Respect Boundaries

Each person has their own comfort zone. Whether it’s about how quickly to move to the next stage or what topics are off-limits, respecting each other’s boundaries is essential. This not only shows maturity but also builds a sense of trust, cutting down on any unnecessary uncertainty.

8. Don’t Send/Ask for Nudes: Just Don’t

This one’s straightforward but vital. Even if things are going great and you’re both feeling the vibe, asking for or sending unsolicited explicit photos is not only disrespectful but can also be illegal.

Just stick to respectful communication, and let things progress naturally.

9. Plan for the Next Step

If the initial conversations have gone well, take the lead and suggest the next step—whether it’s a phone call or meeting up in person.

This can relieve some of the uncertainty and also provides both of you something to look forward to. It shows you’re serious, and it sets a positive tone for the future. [Read: Texts & steps to ask a girl out over text & make her want to date you]

Setting Up the First Date

Alright, you’ve got a match, you’ve exchanged some witty banter, and maybe even shared a few “awww” moments. What’s next?

In psychology, there’s something known as the “Commitment-Consistency Principle.” Simply put, once someone has taken a small step, like chatting with you, they’re more inclined to take a bigger one, like agreeing to meet up.

The trick is to make the transition feel natural and low-pressure. Take these tips for leveraging commitment-consistency:

1. Go for a Soft Ask First

When it comes to securing that first date, the “all or nothing” approach isn’t always the best way forward. Starting with a soft ask, like inquiring about their weekend plans, can be a low-pressure way to gauge their interest and availability.

It also provides an opportunity for them to reciprocate by asking you about your plans, creating a sense of mutual engagement and setting the stage for a more significant ask later on. [Read: 32 secrets, steps and ways to ask a girl out on a date and get her to say yes]

2. Refer Back to Shared Conversations

Bringing up something you’ve previously discussed not only shows you’ve been paying attention but also makes the transition to a date feel like a natural next step.

So, if you both discovered a shared love for indie music in your earlier chats, suggesting a concert is a way to both show you remember and care about their interests while also planning an enjoyable date.

Plus, a shared interest in an event is a fantastic icebreaker that can help ease any first-date jitters for both of you.

Navigating the First Date

You’ve chatted, you’ve laughed, and you’ve planned. The big day is here! But a successful first date isn’t just about showing up, it’s about striking the right balance between taking charge and creating an equitable exchange.

In a romantic context, “equity theory” tells us that people feel most satisfied when they perceive the exchange in the relationship as equitable.

Basically, no one likes to feel shortchanged or overly indebted. Here’s how you achieve it: [Read: 35 must-knows to impress a girl on the first date and get her to like you in under 30 minutes]

1. Plan but Don’t Overwhelm

Sure, coming to the date with a plan in hand shows you’re invested in making it a good time. However, flexibility is key.

Offering her the space to contribute to the date plan shows you value her opinions and are not just running a one-man show.

Mentioning this tip in online dating advice for men can be particularly useful for those who tend to over-prepare.

2. Shared Decisions

Small choices, like asking her to pick a dessert or choose a playlist for the car ride, can add a democratic vibe to the date.

This not only includes her in the experience but also adds an element of fun as you both discover each other’s preferences. [Read: 28 secrets and ways to behave on a first date and win anyone over]

3. Show Appreciation

Whether it’s a heartfelt “thank you” for her time or a genuine compliment about her appearance, small tokens of appreciation make the date feel like an equal exchange.

This will leave a lasting impression and might even score you that second date. [Read: How to ask for a second date and not fumble or appear too eager]

4. Striking the Right Balance

Sure, the first date is your chance to make an impression, but it’s equally her time to shine too. You want to take charge but not overpower her.

This could be a great point to introduce some unique date ideas that you’ve thought of but are open to her tweaking.

5. Listen Actively

Engaging in meaningful conversation involves more than just waiting for your turn to speak.

Show genuine interest in her stories, and respond thoughtfully. This isn’t just good manners; it’s also a subtle way of establishing a deeper connection.

6. Initiative Plus Openness

While it’s great that you’ve gone through the trouble of planning the date, keep an open mind. If she suggests an impromptu walk through a nearby park or a quick coffee after dinner, go for it.

This shows that while you have the initiative, you’re also open to mixing things up. [Read: 26 things to talk about on a first date to make them like you instantly]

The Follow-Up: Sealing the Deal or Saying Goodbye

The first date has wrapped, the bill is paid, and the goodnight kiss *or not* is behind you. This is a crucial moment, the follow-up, where you can make a lasting impression.

Using psychology’s “Peak-End Rule” and some sage advice, here’s how you can either seal the deal for date number two or say goodbye without any hard feelings.

These are some nuanced online dating tips for men that can make all the difference.

According to the Peak-End Rule, people tend to remember experiences based on how they felt at the most intense moment *the peak* and at the end.

So, the follow-up message or call is vital, it’s the “end” that’ll stick in their memory. [Read: 46 first date rules and tips for men to charm a girl and make her fall for you]

1. Timing Is Everything

Don’t wait too long to send that first text. Aim for within 24 hours post-date.

2. Personal Touch

Refer back to a high point or inside joke from the date to make the follow-up as memorable as the outing itself.

3. Clear Intent

If you want a second date, make it clear but not pushy. Something like, “I had a great time and would love to see you again. How about next weekend?”

Saying Goodbye: The Graceful Exit

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don’t click, and that’s okay. Knowing how to say goodbye is just as important.

1. Honesty with Tact

Being upfront about your feelings is important, but the way you deliver that message makes all the difference.

Saying you didn’t feel the connection you were hoping for is honest but respectful, allowing you both to move on without hard feelings.

It respects their time and yours while avoiding unnecessary awkwardness or hurt.

2. No Ghosting

While it might seem easier to vanish into the digital ether, it’s far more courteous to send a simple goodbye message.

Ghosting can leave the other person in a state of uncertainty, questioning where things went wrong. A straightforward message closes that chapter for both of you, providing clarity and peace of mind. [Read: Ghosting: what it is, 63 signs, reasons to ghost & how it affects both people]

3. Close on a Positive Note

Even if the romantic spark wasn’t there, ending things on a high note can leave the door open for a potential friendship. It’s also simply a nice thing to do.

A message wishing them well on their search can give them a morale boost for future dating endeavors, and it ensures that you both walk away from the experience with a positive outlook. [Read: How to end a date the right way without feeling awkward]

Your Pathway to Legendary Love

It’s easy to get overwhelmed in the online dating sphere, but remember that vulnerability is just as captivating as confidence.

Embrace both, and you won’t just survive this digital love battleground—you’ll thrive. So there you have it, gentlemen.

[Read: 28 secrets to date a girl and the 5 stages of dating women all guys MUST know]

Armed with these online dating tips for men, the digital ball is now in your court. Go make your love life legendary!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...