Before you decide to try online dating, you need to accept that there will be liars. The internet gives everybody the freedom to say whatever they want without being held accountable. Have you ever been on a Reddit or 4chan thread? That’s how much freedom every Internet user has. The only difference with online dating is that you are voluntarily choosing to date those anonymous people.
Why do people lie on online dating sites?
On online dating sites, people are more likely to lie because there is a huge amount of pressure to present the best version of yourself. As impressive as your life is, there will be someone nicer, smarter, more attractive and more successful than you on a dating site. The worst part is that they are your competition.
In order to up their game, people tend to lie about their appearance, their careers, and their personalities. It’s easy to play with these factors because you can’t exactly force people to reveal themselves when they say they’re not ready.
#1 Some people lie because they’re too guarded. They can’t resolve themselves to the fact that they need to open up to people, so they come up with an online persona that reveals only the most non-incriminating details.
#2 They’re insecure. It’s is especially hard for them when they see the competition, so they exaggerate their good points to draw more people towards them.
#3 They want to take advantage. They can be gold diggers, scammers, perverts, or even criminals. Be wary of these types of people.
#4 They do it for shits and giggles. Some people lie because they can, and they won’t be held accountable for it. It’s a cheap thrill, but a thrill nonetheless.
When you think someone is lying to you, the best you can do is ask. If that doesn’t help, you better take everything that person says with a grain of salt, or you could end up being Catfished or robbed of all your money. Just sayin’. [Read: How to catch a Catfish – online fakers revealed]
Liar alert: the ones who lie about their looks
Some people lie about their appearance because they feel that their flaws can overshadow who they really are. They can be insecure and really guarded because of this. Sometimes, they lie about their appearances to hide their identity as well. Others lie when they don’t want to be discovered because they’re planning something sketchy.
#1 Their profile picture is the one from two years ago on their social media profile. There’s a huge possibility that they use that photo because it’s the only nice photo they have. It’s highly likely that they no longer look like that, but they’re probably just insecure about the way they look now. They’re still worth giving a chance, in my opinion.
#2 It looks like they applied the whole Instagram filter set on their photo. This is another evidence of a person’s willingness to lie just to cover up their flaws. It’s understandable, but it’s hardly attractive, especially when online dating is dependent on the initial reaction to a person’s appearance.
#3 You can only see their head. This person might be insecure about their body, or they just don’t have a decent full body picture. Either way, it’s your call on whether or not it’s an issue.
#4 You can’t see their head. This is highly unattractive, but people still choose to do it. They’re either hiding from their significant other, or they’re not willing to show you their face unless they feel it’s necessary.
#5 They look too Photoshopped to be true. Use your instinct and always cross-reference their photo with their social media profile. If you can’t access their personal profiles, don’t trust the photo immediately.
Liar alert: the ones who lie about their identity
When people lie about who they are, it’s usually the biggest red flag that tells you that you should not entertain this person. No matter what their reasons are, they are obligated to give you a sense of security and comfort because dating a stranger is inarguably the riskiest thing anyone can do in terms of relationships.
#1 Will never show you a picture. A lot of people fall victim to this because they give people a chance through conversations and messages. The probability of finding Liam Hemsworth behind that blank profile photo space is very slim, so I suggest you demand a photo if they want to see you in person.
#2 Will not give you a link to a social media account. This is the age of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. They’re on a dating site, so they must be technologically-inclined. They’re either hiding something or just don’t want to be found. Dating someone who can’t be partially validated isn’t wise.
#3 Their answers don’t correspond to their photos, questionnaire answers, and profile answers. Obviously, you will explore their profile and photo sets. The conversation will eventually lead to those, and you can easily spot a liar when they can’t even recall what they put on their profile or questionnaire.
#4 They give vague answers to questions about their profession, interests, and hobbies. These types of questions require simple answers. If they can’t even tell you what their job is, why should you trust them at all? Even if they were the prince of an obscure country, you’re still entitled to some honesty.
#5 They are not Google-able. Not everybody can be Googled, but it’s still difficult to date someone who doesn’t exist online. For security reasons alone, you don’t have anything to hold on to when things go wrong. Try to date someone with an online presence because it’s safer than dating someone who has no confirmable identity.
[Read: 14 important dos and don’ts of online dating]
Liar alert: those who lie about their intentions
This is very tricky because there is no verified method to catch someone in a lie, unless you bring a certified polygraph test and examiner with you on your date. A person’s intentions will eventually be revealed, but it’s best to know what you’re getting into before you regret your decision to go out with them.
#1 Their answers are open to interpretation. When you ask them about their intentions, they usually give you vague lines like, “I just want to have an amazing date with you.” Statements along those lines can mean more than one thing. Be specific with your questions, and never settle for answers like that.
#2 They promise. You just met. Why should you believe them, even if they pinkie swear? People who make promises that easily can’t be trusted. The very fact that they think that promising something to a stranger is okay should ring your alarm bells. Be careful not to believe them, and always use your instincts.
#3 They redirect the question back to you or they change the topic before answering. When they hesitate like that during your conversation, try not to believe them when they finally answer. They might be telling the truth, but the fact that they had to think about it makes it difficult to take their answer at face value.
People lie all the time, but you need to be less complacent about it when it comes to online dating. You encounter the same problems when looking for dates organically, but it’s harder to verify people’s identities when you meet them online.
Just make sure that you take the necessary precautions like insisting that they give you their full name and social media profile. Always have an exit strategy, and trust your instincts. They’re actually more useful than you think.
[Read: 30 effective tips to help you win at online dating]
Liars on online dating websites are a dime a dozen. But despite this, you can always trust your instincts and take note of the tips above to avoid going out on a date with someone who chooses to be dishonest with you.
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