It is dating in the 21st century and it is instant. But, with all the swiping, flirting, and maybe even sexting, how do you know when you should take this online romance into reality? Should you meet your Tinder match?
Tinder has done wonders for the world of online dating. It has brought virtual dating right to your fingertips. You can now find a date with a few simple swipes.
There is a lot that goes into this decision. For some, meeting is inevitable and hopefully quick. But for others, it takes some time to get comfortable with the idea of meeting someone that is, by all means, a total stranger.
How do you know the time is right for you? Should you meet your Tinder match? [Read: Texting before a first date – A complete guide to doing it right]
Do you want to meet your Tinder match?
Even though online dating is essentially a segue into actually dating, many people use Tinder for online companionship, someone to talk to, or just to see what’s out there with zero intention to meet.
And not all of us know what we are looking for when we download the app. Maybe we are just giving it a go. Maybe we want to meet someone who truly has potential in the long run or we just want something casual.
Our desires when it comes to Tinder differ dramatically. And that changes even further person to person. You may come across a match you like chatting with but have no intention of meeting. But then you talk with someone else that really makes you excited about the possibilities.
So, before deciding if you should meet your Tinder match, try to figure out why. Are you meeting them because they asked? Are you open to just one date and hoping for more?
We all feel a bit of peer pressure when it comes to dating. I, myself, have met up with some online matches just because it seemed like that’s what you’re supposed to do, not exactly because I wanted to.
So before deciding if this match is someone you want to meet at all, think about why you might meet them. [Read: Legitimate reasons why it’s okay if you’re not ready for a relationship right now]
Should you meet your Tinder match?
Deciding whether or not to meet your Tinder match is not something to be taken lightly. Meeting people from the internet, although safer than it once was, still is not something you should decide without some serious thought.
Whether you have been talking with someone for a few minutes, a few hours, or even a few weeks, it is easy to be deceitful online. I don’t want to bring you down, but it’s true. You always have to be cautious in these scenarios. [Read: The most common Tinder horror stories you should know about]
So, you should meet your Tinder match if…
#1 If you want the same thing. Meeting someone that says they want a hookup when you want a relationship may not be the best idea. You may think the other person will change their mind, but it isn’t likely. This only leads to someone getting hurt.
The same goes the opposite way too. Don’t meet someone who is looking for something more serious than you. You do not want to lead anyone on. [Read: Casual vs serious? What is your current dating speed?]
#2 If you know they are who they say they are. This may seem excessive to those who meet people from Tinder often. It is the only way to be sure. Catfishing is still a big issue with online dating.
I am not saying you need to do a background check, but at least quickly video chat so you know they are who they claim to be and not someone else entirely. Not only is that misleading, but it can be very dangerous. [Read: 13 tips to recognize a catfish instantly]
#3 If they respect your date preferences. Even after making sure they are who they claim to be, do not meet someone who argues with your requests. If you request to go to a five-star restaurant and they can’t afford it, that is fine.
But, if you request to meet in public and drive yourself and they argue about having you come to their place or picking you up at your home, I would be skeptical. Sometimes people are trying to be polite but others want to get you alone for a reason.
#4 If you know what they look like. I am not offering this advice to you for a shallow reason, but a practical one. Someone that misleads you about their appearance will likely lie about other things too.
Again, a quick video chat can ease any doubts. You can make sure they are the age they claimed and actually look like their photos. You also want to make sure you know what they look like without sunglasses or a hat so that you can actually identify them when you meet them.
#5 If you feel safe. This is the biggest one. Even if you are sure they are who they say they are, you found their work website with their name and photo, and stalked their social media, you need to feel safe.
How you feel is most important. If you feel unsure or unsafe before meeting, even in your car outside the restaurant, do not meet them. Your safety is number one. [Read: Why online dating isn’t for everyone]
How should you meet your Tinder match?
Now you have decided to go ahead and meet your Tinder match ,you are probably asking the question, how should I meet my Tinder match?
Well, I have offered plenty of first date advice before about nerves, location, activities, and more. But let’s talk about how to go about meeting your Tinder match. [Read: 25 tips for a first date after meeting online to have a great time]
#1 Meet in public. Always meet a new person in public. Do not go to someone’s house or invite them to yours. Do not meet somewhere secluded. Meeting in public gives you that extra bit of confidence and ease going into a Tinder date.
#2 Let someone know where you’re going. Always tell a trusted friend or family member where exactly you are going. Let them know the name of the restaurant or bar. Tell them when you have arrived safely. Also, check in if the date is going on for a while.
#3 Let someone know who you are meeting. The same goes for letting someone know the name of your Tinder date. Although apps like Tinder only offer someone’s first name, make sure to get their last name if you are going to meet them.
#4 Have your own way home. This is very important. On a first time Tinder date, you want to make sure you can leave whenever you feel uncomfortable. Whether you drive yourself, have a ride on standby, or have money for a ride, always make sure you have that option available. [Read: The important dos and don’ts of online dating]
#5 Have an out. I am not saying you need to come up with a clever lie to get out of a Tinder date early, but have a way to leave if need be. Maybe go in telling them you have an early day tomorrow so you can leave whenever.
If things work out well you won’t need this as a backup. It is better safe than sorry.
[Read: Is it time to meet? How to meet your online date in person]
Should you meet your Tinder match? I hope I have helped you answer that question today, so you can go into a date with security and confidence.
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