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Falling In Love With a Married Man

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Falling in love with a married man can be one of the most confusing affairs that a woman can ever have. Affairs with married men can wreck you, give you a bad name and ruin your own life. And yet, most women can’t help but fall for them. Read this experience to understand more.

Click here to read the author’s introduction of her having an affair with a married man.

Falling in Love with a Married Man

Affairs with married men and happiness just don’t mix.

When you find yourself falling in love with a married man, life can seem so much simpler and easy in some ways, but there’s always a dark side to it.

And a woman will always love the attention, even if it comes from someone who’s already married or seeing someone.

Is this some evolutionary flaw in women or some mistake we end up making over and over again?

No one can tell. But we all know how it starts, don’t we? It starts when we least expect it.

Falling in love with a married man

Love is a funny thing. I don’t really know how women make the first move while falling in love with a married man, because I really haven’t done that. So I’m going to tell you about how married men try to hit on you in the first place.

You may know that a charming married man’s taken already, but if you find that he gives you a few second glances or a roguish smile, it would be pretty hard for you to overlook that.

And once you get past the stares, and hit conversation mode, you’d realize that he’s totally hitting on you. [Read: Is he in love with you?]

And even if you do speak about his wife, he might just shrug the conversation away like it’s too trivial to talk about. And let’s admit it, if a sweet guy hits on you very subtly, in a manner you love, would you want him to stop? Most married men may not be really smooth, but it’s the smooth ones who learn to throw their ball outside family grounds.

Why do women have affairs with married men?

What is it about a married or committed man that makes us women flip the lid and have an affair? The way I see it, it’s probably the fact that he’s already taken. I mean, if he’s already taken, that means he has to be good, right? Otherwise, why would a woman pick him?

And if his woman is a pretty looker in the first place, I’d be flattered if the guy leaves her to come to me. That would just show how good looking I am myself, wouldn’t it? A great guy who loves his family and kids is a tempting offer and women like that in men, a lot. Though the woman might just end up as a home wrecker who has affairs with married men, it probably would start off as casual flirting, [Read: How to flirt by touch] but then it takes a nosedive into sexual overtones in no time.

In some cases, a woman might just want to be good friends while the man spins his chance on the wheel of seduction fortune.

Do women fall in love with married men for sex or love?

Sometimes, women too, are afraid of commitment. They admire others who can hold on to happy relationships and they envy them. If it’s a man we’re talking about, inevitably they end up falling in love with them. In other cases, it’s the story of the ‘Forbidden Fruit’. All the fun and no hang ups, so what if a relationship is shattered because of you, who cares? You’re happy. And in a few others, emotional support and concern turn to lust. These women have affairs with married men because they can be in love with them without exactly having to commit to them.

Women can be attracted to men for different reasons, all the way from the silliest to the biggest reasons. Bottom line? Women do get attracted to men they can’t have. And women find themselves falling in love with a married man more often than not. And if it’s not married men, women also get attracted to men who are dating someone else.

Whose fault is it, the woman’s?

Most people say it’s the woman who’s the home wrecker, the one who has affairs with married men all the time. But you wouldn’t say the same if you were that woman. It may be the case for a few women, but definitely not everyone.

I haven’t come across any woman who pretends to fall in love with a married man just for the heck of it, but those women do exist, I guess. In my life, and in many other women’s lives, it’s just the case of the sweet talk laced with goodness that does the trick, that, and the second round of confessions and sharing problems. From what I know, it’s usually the men who are ever ready for a quick fling. But a woman could do the same too!

Falling in love with a married man or sugar daddy?

A friend of mine who was seeing a guy once told me, “I don’t want a man to take care of me, I just want a man who wants me.” That’s the point, because men do get attracted to women outside their relationship almost all the time.

When a man hooks up outside wedlock, he doesn’t want to take care of her, he just wants her and what she’s got to give. And some women like that. The allure of the “other woman” excites them. They don’t have to worry about cooking dishes, cope with his spending sprees, entertain his friends, nothing! They can lead their own life without having to worry about his. [Read: Money can buy happiness in love]

And the fact is, they know he’s committed and will never come to them, and they love the guy for that one reason. It’s just a fling thing. And beyond that, a rich married man with real money can provide a lot more than a young hot man with penniless dreams. Who needs Einstein wannabe when you can have Sugar Daddy? Now any woman who’s trying to hook up like this is nothing less than a home wrecker and a whore, but hey, who am I to judge someone? Sigh!

Falling in love with a married man is just as easy as falling in love with a single guy. Actually it’s easier! Affairs with married men happen more often than people give it credit for. But you know how it starts now, through my eyes. But find out how your life can change when you actually start dating a married man here.


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  • Chris
    May 11, 2012 | Permalink |

    I was actually approached by a married man who had been studying me from afar. I thought it was odd that he was so intrigued by me; I brushed it off and went on my way. I had an ex who cheated on me with my best friend and I knew the pain; I never wanted to inflict that onto someone else. I avoided him and he kept pushing towards me; the compliments poured in. He just wanted a friend; I told him it wasn’t normal for a married man to seek out a woman for an emotional connection if he was fulfilled at home. He has helped financially, though he is the one who told me he loved me. He told me he was in love with me and seemed to know all the right words to say. I met his wife several times and she was a bit neurotic and definitely had her issues, though it takes two to tango. He told me about how he didn’t have sex with her anymore; we would talk a lot on the phone at first, but that slowly dissipated. He made me feel selfish for wanting him to pay attention to me and not keep me second to last. He was going to leave her, he said, he was not happy. He was afraid she’d have no job and financial support, so he was working on that. She supposedly was packing clothes and he mentioned a divorce to her. He was keeping extra money aside from odd jobs for “us” and for when he had her leave. He didn’t want her to “take him for what he was worth.”. Nonetheless, I was always the selfish one in the ordeal. He painted her out to be a monster; he shared a lot at first, though it slowly started to. E more and more on his terms. He quit talking about the divorce and started to become more vague about the details as time moved on. He gets angry now when I mention it because I’m trying to treat him as an object like she did. If anyone else treated me like this, they’d be out the door in a heartbeat. I don’t want to let him go, though he needs to get his life together before he can committ to anything. I fill a sexual and emotional gap for him. When I quit talking about sex all the time, he quit showing as much interest. He spends more time away from talking to me now, which I’m figuring he’s spending with his wife now. I want to get out; I deserve more and he needs to live with what he has. It’s heartbreaking though.

  • Jasmine
    June 8, 2012 | Permalink |

    I can’t deny I’m falling in love with a married man. I love him so much until one day he mentioned that he wanted to break up because he simply couldn’t play as the stakes were too high. I did give him a hint, if I were to ask him to choose between his wife or me, his reply was that he’d choose his wife. She had gone through ups and downs for many years. Even a friend of mine had told me he’s not the man for me, and it’s me who can’t let go of everything. I don’t wish any ladies here would follow my footsteps. Falling in love with a married man is not right. And in the end, the loser is you.

  • pyaramasoom
    June 9, 2012 | Permalink |

    Why do married women enjoy more sex with their boyfriend than with their husbands.?

  • McKenziePR
    June 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    i read your article with interest and a couple of different perspectives. my guess is that i am likely older, quite a bit older, than the typical demographic that subscribes but nonetheless in my youth, i unknowingly got involved w a married man and while i didn’t fall in love with him, i was in deep lust and like with him but eventually it was my own guilt that drove me to end it and thankfully, it wasn’t messy, his wife never found out about us but years later she did catch him with another. the next time, i knew he was married and that made him safe, fun, worthy of the last minute calls which fit into my career and my own independance and not wanting the committment of having to go to weddings with a date, or bringing someone around to meet my family. when i met my now husband, over 20 years ago, i knew i had met the man i will spend the rest of my life with, and when he cheated on me 12-years ago i was devastated. i was sure it was karma for my youthful indiscretions and it wasn’t like i expected, not only was i devastated, i was determined to prove we could make it work. before that, i had always said that if he ever cheated on me that would be it, the marriage would be over, we would share custody of our very young daughter etc. and, he was prepared to leave me for her, his other woman and yet after months of back and forth, counseling, trips away to regroup and try to talk rationally, months in which he always returned home and slept in our bed every night, he decided to stay, we worked through reconciliation, forgiveness etc. however-what drew me to this article is the here and now. Over the last couple of years, while our family is intact and our relationship is stronger in many ways, the pressures of the economy, his high stress career, my own career, our kids, the busy nature of everything has made his libido almost non-existent. that’s not fair, he has no energy and is exhausted all of the time, if not mentally, then physically and often times it’s both. while we have been working through this new challenge in our lives, it’s been a long, 2-years, given that our sex life was never one of daily or even many times a week in nature, going from every week to maybe every 2 weeks to just about 1x a month is very hard on me. emotionally probably more than the physical need. on a whim i tested out a profile on a popular website to see if anyone would even potentially be interested in a middle-age, overweight woman, seeking a discreet partner. i was naive at best. i had no idea that there were so many men willing to step out on their own partners etc. i freaked out, backed off, didn’t engage in email or conversations. and then, i get this one message, just as i was about to delete my profile permanently, it was witty, brief, sexy, fun and it made me smile. the added plus was that he was traveling to my area for work and did so maybe 3-4x a year at best. safe as can be in terms of discretion, distance etc. having never done this as a married person, let alone one in a 23+ year partnership i was speechless when we met for coffee between a couple of his meetings. the chemistry was instant and before i drove away 20-minutes later i knew i would be with him at least once before he left. i was determined to be aloof, to understand that this would be a once in awhile thing, to augment what’s missing physically in an otherwise satisfying life. he was in the same boat, well similar boat, had done this before, recently ended a long term affair, distance was important, upfront that he isn’t looking to change his situation just as i am not looking to change mine. before we knew it our own rules flew out the window. such as no contact between Noon on Friday to Noon on Monday as the weekends are our family time, phone calls were a once a week maybe twice a week quick chats etc. Our quick sexy texts became longer missives, from one maybe two a day to almost constant streams in the early morning and later in the evenings. Grateful that east and west coasts separate us because if we were in a tri-state area of one another, it would interfere with the every day normalcy we both need, have responsibilities to etc. And that’s because we developed an immediate friendship, a reliance on one another and now, we find that if we are not yet in love with one another, we are definitely attached. and not in a friends with benefits way but in a, holy crap, what happened to the fwb we thought we were? we both have too much too lose and too much time, love and all that makes up our respective marriages to make any changes. so, we continue-seeing one another for a couple of days every 3 or 4 months-not seeing anyone else-remaining with the spouses we both still love. as much as i hate the distance between the two of us, and the fact that i can’t just see him or hear his voice whenever i want to, i am unwilling to walk away, i don’t want to walk away and right now, neither does he.

  • maryam
    July 22, 2012 | Permalink |

    I love a married man with no sex, help him , go out with him only for eating lunch.

  • August 13, 2012 | Permalink |

    Im having an affair with a married man,but i love him more than my boyfriied.Is it normal?

  • Liza
    September 2, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’ve been in love with a married man for over 6 years. We even have a baby together. I know it’s wrong, and many times I just want to walk away. However, I love him and I always will.

  • Marie Balog
    September 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    I fell for a married man a few years ago. He had me convinced he was rich, that his wife was crazy, and that she slept on his couch. He came to my state and asked me to marry him, he stayed for Christmas, and he met all my family and friends. Then the FBI knocked on my door! Really!!! She had reported him missing. Right then I made him call her and tell her that he never loved her, or he had to leave. It was sooooo funny , me and my family sat right there and listened to the stupid b*tch cry on speakerphone. It was the best Xmas present ever. He chose ME, not that Barbie plastic torn up skank.

    Anyway all was good until I missed my period. I thought I was pregnant , so he had me come there. Omg talk about seeing the truth. Fancy lifestyle? HERS . He lived in an apartment with his alcoholic brother. Everything he said was his was really hers. He finally admitted that he was still sleeping with her, even the day he came to Pittsburgh.

    Even though I’m not with him (no pg), I still hate her. She took everything from him. Everything he promised ME. she had no right trying to ruin my proposal/engagement. We were planning OUR wedding. I am still mad that she didn’t just get out of our way. I mean, he was cheating on her with me…. DUH!!!! He wanted me, not her. And here we are a few years later, he divorced her, then they get back together? Screwed up family, that’s for sure!

  • lex
    October 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    im a married guy. met a gal n i like her alot. I guessed we are in the midst of flirting with each other which eventually would lead us to more intimacy. However thrilled right now, im afraid. I feared that i would eventually hurt her as well as myself. Should we just stick to the ‘good buddy plutonic’ relationship? Feelings are such powerful emotions that we just simply can put it aside. i think it take as much courage and will to decide which ever road that is ahead of us. Either choice is damn too scarry.

  • Eve
    October 25, 2012 | Permalink |

    I am going to cut a long story short here and ask for some advice. I am at the point where I am crazy in love with a MM, but he is not so big on opening up and communicating. However, when we are alone, the more we get to know each other, the more intimate it gets, and the more beautiful it feels. The other day he came to my place for the first time and we had a great time, but while chatting, and giggling like teenagers, and having fun in bed, he opened up about somethings that got me concerned: most importantly, he mentioned he had another affair about a year or so ago… and I generally got the picture that this man is obviously NOT happy at all in this marriage… He does have kids (young and old) but from what he mentioned, although he has tried to get out of the marriage, his wife pulls numerous stunts using the younger kid as emotional blackmail, to keep him. He feels guilty and stays on obviously.
    NOW, I feel I deserve MUCH better treatment. I do believe we share some chemistry which IF given a chance would be wonderful… BUT I feel the situation has already moved into dangerous territory from the moment the communication got more intimate over time… and I do NOT want to be used. So, should I send him an email out of the blue, to say I want him A LOT but don’t want to share him with another 10 women…? That I want him exclusively… and when he has cleared up his mess, come over and we’ll talk again…? When is the right timing?
    Should I wait till he contacts me again and just through it at him? (Last communication was yesterday). Any ideas here???

  • aNGEL
    October 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m in love with a married man. He never wanted to talk with his wife and he was struggling financially to support his kids, one from the other woman and one from his wife. He’s nice and we talk many things about our life,family and our problem. I know it’s a mistake to fall in love with him but i cant deny my heart to love him in his imperfection. He is nothing to boast about but he’s everything i see.When i got pregnant he has nothing to give, however making promises to support our baby but then we were mile apart and the worst thing happen our baby die due to premature. I was down and felt hopeless. I almost wanted to let him go and only wish his life to be happy but he never give up on what he promise to our plans. I feel confuse but i remain those faith on him, It was like a love not to believe but by closing our eyes its the closest thing to heart by trusting toward each other.We barely communicate today and we slowly move our relationship to focus on wisest thing to do, I know our plan is against all the odds but this life on earth only happens once to meet a person who brought a meaningful life.

  • Chintu
    November 17, 2012 | Permalink |

    Marriage is all about responsible than a mere understanding (love).girls like being secure in relationships and the person whom himself had not decided about to choose between wife or love is himself not sure about his future if he is not a divorcee at the moment he is in relationship with both but he has the choice of both he can go in anyway which will make you mentally disturbed so while making a move make yourselves clear that is he is clear with his past relationships

  • Jo
    November 19, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m in love with a married man and its beyond a passionate love affair. Its a deep supernatural love connection. He is what you could call a “public figure” in my town and I own a well established business that is very successful. This has been going on for over four years.When we first met I wasnt aware he was married. He swepped me off my feet and still does. When I see him I melt. When he kisses me electricity runs through my body. He has told me im like a drug to him and that he is infatuated with me. In the beginning I asked what do you want from me and he said my soul. I feel as if he knew he already had it from the moment we laid eyes on each other. I’ve made attempts to get away and date other men he gets extremely jealous and acts out by doing stalker like things. Parking outside my business following me etc. At times I will turn my shoulder and hes right there. Some may say this is crazy but he would never hurt me he just cant let me go. He will not leave his wife either.If she left him I know we would be together. They do have a troubled marriage and they have almost divorced. I feel as if there is too many coincidences surrounding our love and im a firm believer in destiny. I feel in a different lifetime he was my sou lmate and we have found each other in this one. He could easily get involved with other women and have passionate affairs and flings with them if that where the case.. and forget me but he just wont let me slip away. My head says run my heart says stay. I feel in my heart he is my soul mate. No one said life was fair or love at that. I don’t believe in the white picket fence and fairytale endings. In real life nothing is right or fair at times and you cant help the inevitable…but the truth is he is not my husband he belongs to someone else and I’ve excepted this.

  • Nicolette
    December 1, 2012 | Permalink |

    I’m in the weirdest situation of my life. My ex boyfriend from high school ( I lost my virginity to) had a three year off and on relationship ended up being my friend once I found a new boyfriend, but he was always still flirty and sometimes I was too. Well two years into my relationship he found a girlfriend and I basically threw in the towel on my relationship because this bothered me so. Well I ended up becoming friends with his girlfriend and she go pregnant. Right around that time him and I started having an affair. I was there for the birth of their baby, and a bridesmaid in their wedding. We sleep together every month, sometimes a few times a week. He says he could live without her but can’t lose the baby. I know he’s not perfect, but our chemistry is so intense, and I feel like a terrible person, I’m wracked with guilt, but I have loved him for almost ten years, I don’t even think I can imagine being with someone else. I don’t even care if he leaves his wife, I love the moments I have with him so much, I just worry one day he will want to stop it all and I won’t know what to do with myself.

  • Sally
    December 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    I have a deep emotional bond with a married man, he told me from the very start he would never his wife because he does truly love her but he also loves me, I was single for the first year of our affair and now I have found a wonderful man, I thought when I finally did meet someone I would not feel as strong but I do, he’s always on my mind and our love for each other is strong as ever, I am so torn all the tme

  • Andie
    December 18, 2012 | Permalink |

    Speaking as a woman who has, in the past, been in sin- an adulterous relationship with a married man, who lied and tricked me into falling in love with him, which I did willingly. They can be very, very tricky- these married men. They will say and do anything to women to get what they want. They lie to us, seduce us in such a manner that we never know that it is a lie, (and more often than not- we let them). We accept these lies as gospel because we are blinded by our infatuation for them.
    I now have a male friend, who is also married, whom I have not slept with, and he and I are as close as brother and sister. We laugh together, we always talk every time we see each other, and rarely (if ever) does one of us pass the other without a hug and a warm greeting being exchanged. I feel a brotherly love for him, my friend. A warm kindness. He is a good man, and I am glad and blessed to know him.

  • Tim Roth
    December 22, 2012 | Permalink |

    I know who my true love is. She is not my wife. My true love loves me too. Only had a dinner together once two years ago. Never fooled around with each other. I see her at her work and we both know the score. ……. I love her. I told her from the get go that if I were to get together with her I couldn’t walk back into my house……….I want to be with her only.

    My marriage has sucked since day one and will always suck.
    Logic makes the decision an easy one, I know.
    This isn’t about logic……I don’t think I could feel comfortable if I were to leave. As dark as my marriage is I would feel bad about leaving ( deserting ) the prison of this wedlock…….I also know I will never meet my true love again in this life. Unexplainable fact….

  • Cas
    December 30, 2012 | Permalink |

    I have been having an affair with a married man for the last three months. I am married as well. It grew out of boredom, we have both been married 30 years plus and needed some spice in our lives. This is not the way to find it.
    From the outset he always told me that he would never leave his wife for me. I said the same, not sure if I meant it though. We had a beautiful 3 months, we got on like soul mates, we had wonderful sex – this was where the relationship started, no pretending otherwise. I always knew he loved his wife. However, about 4 days ago, he must have been getting desperate – maybe drinking, i don’t know. He sent me messages telling me he hated his wife. In the middle of the night, when he must have known I was asleep he messaged me wanting sex. He broke his own rule of never texting from home and she caught him fair and square. In the morning he sent me a hurried text to let me know he had been caught. He said she might contact me and he was very sorry. Not a word since. Not even goodbye. Why am i wasting good tears on such a rat? I knew he was a cheater, I let myself believe it would be different with me. I fell in love with him despite all I knew. Now my heart is breaking. My own husband suspects nothing. Thank god. But he’s so worried about my apparently causeless depression that the guilt of what I have done is killing me. Who wins? No one. Four unhappy people as a result of two peoples idle selfishness. I don’t even want to be alive anymore.

  • Princess
    January 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am falling in love with a married man.I joined my new job almost a month ago and he works in the same project with me.He is my supervisor.He has a kid also.In spite of knowing he is married I am unable to stop my growing feelings for him.He doesn’t know about my feelings. I never told it to anyone.Worst thing is I am already in a relationship with a guy since my college days and we had sex several times.My boyfriend doesn’t stay in my city.Am I cheating on my boyfriend as I am loving a married man????….what should I do????…How will I stop my feelings for that man?????….If I could quit the job,it would be easier for me to forget him,but at this stage of my career it is impossible….Everyday I have to meet him,talk to him with this hidden feelings in my mind that probably he will never know that I love(or infatuation??) him so badly,Even I dont know whether he likes me or not,because we dont talk anything other than work…..I am totally messed up….don’t know what to do….please help me out….

  • Sarah
    January 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have recently fallen in love with a married man. We have been friends for over a year and initially i didnt know he was married, he has been trying to pursue me for the entire time and never gave in. Then i went on holiday and he flew 6,000 miles just to spend 5 days with me as he missed me, i fell in love with him, we fell in love with each other. When he returned back to London he told me he was married, which broke my heart as he never once said during our entire relationship. We have spoken on a deep and emotional level, as well as rationale one. I know he wants me to have his child but i fear its for the fact that we will always have a bond. I asked him if he will ever leave his wife and he said “no” and of course he is still sleeping with her. I asked him if i too could get a boyfriend to pass the time and to show others whilst we are still having our relationship and his response was he will leave me if i did or slept with anyone else. I love the guy but luckily i am not blinded with stupidity. I have told him he wants to have his cake and eat it, and he is with me and the wife to suit the best of both worlds. What makes it worse is i left the perfect guy when i realised i loved him. Tomorrow i will tell him it is over and we can never be together nor see one another again. Its going to be painful but i live in the real world and all i have ever wanted is to be happy in a relationship and i know i will not be in this so i have to do the right thing.

  • Edith
    January 30, 2013 | Permalink |

    So confused.
    Am so confused right now,I’m in love with a married guy,though he is just in his middle 30s and I’m in my late 30s…but i don’t if he really love’s me…

  • ama
    February 2, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am in a relationship with a married man. We are so much in love. He stopped sleeping with his wife after we started our relationship. He is very emotional, thus he finds it awkward to sleep with his wife anymore cuz he dnt love her. she has and still is being horrible to him. He moved in with me few months back.He is planing to get a divorce and i hope he would make arrangements soon. i dont feel guilty or bitch like or whatever becuz his wife is just too horrible to have a great man like him.He is only worried about the fact that she has no place to go after the divorce. she is lazy as hell and only knows to be at home and do hardly anything. so she has no income. so i asked him to give whatever the property he has to her and come with me cuz i have enough for both of us.i hope things would turn out well. one day, when i was totally broken, i knelt down infront of God for the first time in my life and asked for someone who would really love me and i met him the next day and we proffessed love the day after. so i am not giviing him back. :)

  • February 17, 2013 | Permalink |

    Advice is needed: I have a guy friend and we talk like 3 times a week on the phone, he is from the east coast and im from the west. One time he came and visit (business) and he invited me for dinner, after drinking a glass of scotch that was the time he started telling me that he loves me so much and he is not going to waste his time with me if he doesn’t love me. He is a single older guy, and that he told me he is going to make sure that me and my baby are going to have a comfortable life in the future. He handed me 1k cash to help me move in my new apartment. My question is do you think he really loves me and everything? HE is very well off but i mean i am not a type of girl who likes to jump into relationship without knowing his true feelings. We are communicating for 6 months now….Help!!!

  • L
    March 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    This seems to be the wall of confession… I suppose it may be a needed thing when there is a forbidden and overwhelming love – one that you want to shout to the world, but cannot share with even your best friend.
    I, too, love a married man. While I dream of a day when we can be together, that reality is not likely. He is married, with young children… and a pastor. We have been together off and on for almost 4 years.
    And we were caught once. We were seen together from a distance. Still, no one knows who I am. (My name was mentioned by her in the questioning of suspects, but so were many others. He never revealed who ‘she’ was). We were seen by a friend of theirs who told the wife. It was a kiss and embrace that was witnessed. She (wife) told him no one would break up her family, and reminded him of all he had to lose, the respect of his children and family and friends, his place within his church, his job, he would be stripped of his ordination if he were to divorce. I’ve stepped aside several times. I tell him, and I truly mean, that I only want him to be happy. Once we went a full year with no contact. During that time they went through intensive counseling. She still told their church leaders and his bosses at his ‘regular’ job. And during that year, I tried my best to get over him. To no avail. And he still came back. We agree that we love each other dearly – a love like neither of us has known before, an overwhelming love. I hate that I have caused this pain to her, but I also want him. How messed up is that? She’s a good woman, a good mother – I don’t not like her. I’m the one in the wrong – both he and I. Not to say that she is the perfect wife – but still… it’s our actions that have caused her pain.
    Since we have ‘gotten back together’ this time, our relationship has had minimal physical contact. Not to say that we have been angels, we have not.
    We are in touch with each other every day – but we have to be very careful about it. She tracks his every move. He is always ‘encouraged’ to take at least one child with him anywhere that he goes other than work. Other than driving back and forth to work, he’s never allowed to be alone. She watches the phone bill for texts and phone calls. He has found a tracking app hidden in his phone that he pretends to her that he does not know about.
    His guilt has become very great lately, for what he is doing to me, his family and his congregation. I know he is torn, as am I. I have recently told him, again, that if he needs to leave me for his own self preservation, he can go. And he has always been concerned for whether this relationship is too hard for me. If I need to let him go, he will understand. While I know this is not healthy for any of us, I do not have the strength to end the relationship myself. And for me, that is very strange. I am a very strong woman, not a woman who ‘needs’ a man in her life. I have often been single out of choice, because I want that ‘special’ love. Maybe I’m one of those commitment-shy women – I don’t know…
    At this point, we keep our relationship very platonic – other than telling each other daily that we love each other – we have a hands-off agreement. No sexy messages either – just our love. We also know that in order to maintain this hands-off agreement, we can’t see each other. It’s impossible for us to not touch if we are together.
    At this point, I will take what we have. I don’t know that it will always be enough for me – but our limited contact is still preferred, by both of us, to when we were completely out of each other’s lives….

  • singlemom
    March 25, 2013 | Permalink |

    Im seeing a married man and his whole family knows about me and have taken me in with open arms so should i continue seeing him…

  • Lydia
    April 15, 2013 | Permalink |

    Instead of exploiting and criticizing the women who have affairs , why don’t you evaluate the men who initiate these affairs? These men are scumbags and losers who don’t respect or truly love the women they have married in the first place. if they did they wouldn’t betray them in the first place. Its amazing how a man can claim how much he loves his wife while he’s fucking another. Maybe he’s the home wrecker!

  • openeyz
    April 20, 2013 | Permalink |

    First and for most this is coming from a strong hearted woman who was in a dedicated , committed,truthfulness relationship with a married man. My relationship ment so much to me after reading all of this for the young and older women on here asking advise including the person who made this post this is genuinely from the heart ..
    To love a married man is a emotional, mental and physical rollercoaster “when it’s feelings from both sides ”
    Emotionally
    first!
    I disagree with “all married men are lies” and ” they really dont want you”•
    I am 20 and he’s 40 I act old he thinks he’s young as odd as is sound it works, i knew he was married and didnt want to ever go past our friendship but but it just happened . Every since that day we been together day i and out he he had taught me so much and matured me for life. I kno all his 5 kids ages 5-22 ,kids mothers they all kno im his girl (he has kids with his wife)• he moved me and my 5yr old in the next city over from his house and all day with me and late at night goes home he has his own business ” thanks to her” so with that being said .. That’s were your roller coaster starts ..

    Its hard fuxk what any body say home wreaker or whatever, its love and that kinds is even more painful than any normal relationship from the day you catch feelings it hurt! To wake up every morning and never kno if or when your mini life become the real thing. It take a strong woman and that really trust her man to just live off faith that one day will be yours.
    thru all the ups and downs good days and bad he was my world still is,We broke up two days, ago and trust it hurts! That’s why i felt my comment bad to be posted i feel my story will touch is some girl who needed to hear it from someone who was in a long relationship with a married man .

  • nickie
    April 23, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m married and so is my boyfriend…yes boyfriend. It started out as flirting on a social blog and grew. It is 4 years later and we are in love.
    We did meet and we did kiss…no sex.
    We play different games together on line and have secret emails for contact.
    our 3rd year together we did make plans to meet in a hotel room. We had the best time, the passion knocked me off my feet.
    I love my husband and he loves his wife, but we are not in love with them…trust me there is a big different. Our plan…not to hurt them. We will stay and support them until their dying day….both spouses are not that healthy. Someday we hope to be together, but until then this is what it is. He has made my life better…gives me something to look forward to everyday…DO NOT JUDGE OTHERS UNTIL YOU HAVE WALKED IN THEIR SHOES!

  • Amy
    April 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    Reading all the other women’s comments just make me mad. I’m a wife of a man who cheated. Some will never know the heartbreak that comes from adultery.

    I ended up cheating on my husband after a few years of him cheating and actually it was the worst mistake of my life. A tit for tat relationship broke both our hearts. I hated myself for what I was doing, yet felt so justified. It broke his heart when he realised I would do the same. I broke down to my husband telling him and he did the same. I can’t tell you how much it hurt to tell the one you love the truth.

    A husband who really love his wife won’t leave her. He’s trying to tell her something and as the other woman your just the ‘the action’. He won’t leave her, he love’s her. He’s unhappy and doesn’t know how to tell her.

    My husband and I went through years of recovery. If he even has a thought of wanting another woman he tells me. There is a difference between sexual attraction and acting on it. Acting on it is a relationship problem.

    These men are not in love, they are calming an inner turmoil. Leave them alone and let them work out their issues.

    Good luck ladies xx

  • tracy
    May 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    I MET A POLICE OFFICER WHEN MY SON WAS GOING THROUGH A SITUATION. HE GAVE ME HIS CARD IF I NEEDED ANYTHING. WE TALKED AND TEXTED FOR MONTHS. IT EVENTUALLY BECAME MORE PERSONAL, I HAD A FEELING HE MAY BE MARRIED.EVENTUALLY IT CAME OUT. AS SOON AS IT DID HE ASKED TO SEE ME. HE WANTED TO BE SURE HE HADNT PUT ME IN AN AWKWARD SITUATION. IT WAS UP TO ME WHERE THIS GOES. BUT I CANT GET MY MIND OFF OF HIM, I WANT TO SEE HIM, I KNOW IT IS WRONG, HE SAID HE WANTS TO SEE ME AGAIN. WE HAVE A CONNECTION. I HAVE NEVER BEEN INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED MAN, NOR THOUGHT I WOULD. BUT THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZYYYYY…HELP…ADVICE NEEDED

  • Gigi
    May 16, 2013 | Permalink |

    Tracy! Don’t do it! I made a mistake of going with a cop too! He’s a detective…he is very charming…says he doesn’t love his wife…he stays for the kids…wife tried to kill herself once before if he were to leave her…just the other day, during an argument, she went after his gun but couldn’t get it out of the holster-he can’t stand her-bla bla bla. I am married too…in a sexless marriage…no affection. I loved the beginning with this man…but the reality set in that I have feelings for him-we both say we love each other. I want to end it…I get jealous and the insecurity kills me. I know he lays in bed with his wife-I’m alone. I guess my suffering is what I deserve, after all I’m cheating. He texts me all day, every day…when he’s home-here and there-when he’s on his way to work…when he gets there…we text all night (he works all night), we only get to see each other once a week. We talk on the phone every day-even if it’s just a few minutes. The sex is ridiculously wonderful…he is the best I’ve ever had. Am I in love with him or his dick? I’m completely confused…and with this confusion-I beg you…don’t do it…it hurts. I know he’ll never leave his wife…I’m uncertain if I’ll leave my husband. I am selfish. I want his attention…when I don’t get it-I start falling apart and it’s so absurd. Just don’t do it…get a man of your own…There’s more to my story…crazy story…too much to type.

  • daisy
    July 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    last yr i didnt know that he is married.he is my 1st boyfriend almost 8 yrs… we separated because of long distance relationship. 2009 we broke up and id work in thailand yr 2010. then he communicate with me again yr 2011 but that yr he was married already. so we continue our relationship and yr 2012 last yr december thats the time i discovered that he is married. i wanted to stop but i really love him and he told me that he loves me too… so until now im confused i wanted to stop this relationship but i cant him also he wont stop.

  • July 12, 2013 | Permalink |

    I met this guy about four months ago at the store he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid my eyes on! I was in a relationship so I walked away even after he tried to talk to me! I went down the street to another store, when I came outside to get in my car there he was! AGAIN! He had followed me! So I talked to him switched numbers and that was that! I asked him if he was married and he said no, so me thinking its perfect kept seeing him everyday he comes to my house we take rides we get rooms! It finally dawned on me when he would say, I gotta get home to my babies, I looked him up on Facebook low and behold the profile picture is that of him and his wife n three children had just got married 6 months ago!! I confronted him, he told the truth! I already love him I can’t leave him alone! Well I get very angry when I don’t see him and he follows me and watches me and gets mad when I talk to my guy friends when he goes home to his wife!! Crazy yes! I’m lost without him and don’t wanna know my life with him being absent, part of me wants to let it go but my love is not a water faucet I can’t just turn it off! What to do what to do??? He says before he lets me leave out of his life he will get rid of what made me leave in the first place before I go! So confused, hurt and torn! Any advice!

  • SSG
    July 27, 2013 | Permalink |

    Sometimes things happen that you can’t control. I met someone 4 years ago who changed my life. We became inseparable friends. I knew from the beginning he was married, and I kept my feelings to myself for 4 long years because I didn’t want to hurt anyone. He never told me how he felt either (beyond, hey, I love you as a friend, etc.) Things finally came to a head a week ago when we both confessed that we’ve been in love with each other for years.

    He is very unhappy with his marriage and told me he wants only to be with me. He’s in the process of ending things with his wife. I’m not stupid or naïve, and I want to believe this will happen, but there is a part of me that feels it never will. We have a bond that is hard to break and a love I feel is real. It’s beyond sex. We haven’t even had sex yet, but the attraction is there. I think it’s unfair to claim that it’s all about sex and all about wanting what you can’t have. I knew for years I couldn’t have it until the possibility that I could finally opened up. I know there are no guarantees in life, but if you really love someone, sometimes you have to take risks and deal with the consequences. I know full well what people will think of me, but I love this man so much that I don’t care.

  • Rebecca
    July 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    For the past 5 years i’ve been friends with benefits with a married man. I was in a relationship with his best friend and when we broke up he was the only one of his friends that would still speak to me. He made me feel better, comforted me. One night after drinking (a lot) one thing led to another and he went home with me. Since then we make it a point to get together once a week. He’s talked about leaving his wife to be with me, and i wish i could believe him but i know he plans on staying with his wife. He’s told me that he loves me and the conversations that we have, he never gets bored with me. I’ve told him that i love him too. I love all the time with spend together.

  • Evelyn
    August 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    To Jo!
    I am wondering how you are going now with your affair. Reading your text brings me into tears. we are in exactly the same boat. I am constantly in such a situation as exactly you describe:
    ‘My head says run my heart says stay. I feel in my heart he is my soul mate. No one said life was fair or love at that. I don’t believe in the white picket fence and fairytale endings. In real life nothing is right or fair at times and you cant help the inevitable…but the truth is he is not my husband he belongs to someone else.’
    It’s so frustrating and confusing to stay in this affair and it is also so painful to just end it.

  • Evelyn
    August 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    Sally
    December 16, 2012 | Permalink |
    To Sally,

    ‘I have a deep emotional bond with a married man, he told me from the very start he would never his wife because he does truly love her but he also loves me, I was single for the first year of our affair and now I have found a wonderful man, I thought when I finally did meet someone I would not feel as strong but I do, he’s always on my mind and our love for each other is strong as ever, I am so torn all the time.’

    Your story makes me even more hopeless. I am now struggling to find a single guy to fall in love with, my major concern is that in my new relationship, this love affair will not end. I am trying to have a new relationship so that to end this affair. When the love feelings won’t be gone during the new relationship, that will be another disaster.

    I hate so much now that I have fallen in love with this married man. Actually he made everything to let me fall in this affair and now I just could not leave him

  • Evelyn
    August 11, 2013 | Permalink |

    To Sarah:
    I am also wondering how the things going with you now.
    I did the same after I knew he was a married man and intended not to get divorced. However after about one month, I called him again and wanted to see him. My life was a disaster in that month without him. I lost interest in everything and had no energy at work.
    After we met again, I never mentioned about his divorce. I knew he would never do. However the frustration, the qualm, the uncertainty about the future push me all the time to the hell when he is not around me.

  • Shammy
    September 8, 2013 | Permalink |

    Am also in the same situation as so many women on thus site. You never wish to fall in love with a married man but it just happens. I met this MM at work one if his close friends got us together cos they wanted him to move on from his wicked wife. He’s an abused man who i think truly loves his wife who constantly cheats on him to an extent where he doubts their 3rd child is his. He too scared to find out cos he left he’s job to look take care of the baby when she was born.
    I’ve not just heard from him but from 2 of his friends how horrible the wife is.

    I’ve been seeing this guy for over 10 months. We took 3 months without having sex but just talking and cuddling. He’s told me everything. He’s not a liar like some men. He truly has feeling for me but he will never be the one to leave his marriage unless she’s the one who decided to leave him.
    He’s tried to leave her in the past not for me but he found out age was chasing another married man but he ended up going back to her cos she stopped him from seeing his kids and took all the money he made through child support so he really had nothing to leave on. He’s a good dad who said I wd rather go through the pain when am with my kids.
    They are some really unhappy men out there. Am a woman and a single mother, another woman broke up my relationship, I’d never force him to leave his marriage not that he would anyway cos he said 2 days ago that he was going to give his marriage his best and I respect that but am hurting so much. I see him and his kids almost everyday cos we leave in the same town .

  • Jane
    September 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    Ok so I know what people are going through I am in love with a married man! Have been for over a year now. We were friends and talked all the time then finally started talking more and meeting. He has 2 kids and his wife, he tells me that him an his wife are separated and they aren’t sleeping in the same bed. We both love each other. I am 21 and he is in his 40s. We hang out and have a lot of fun talking and stuff. He tells me he loves me and he makes me feel really complete. He tells me he wants me to hisself but yet he won’t leave his wife. I told him i would give him till December or January to make a move of who he wants. I don’t feel it being wrong if you truly love someone you should be able to be with who ever makes you happy. No one will ever make me feel happy but him. We have to do it while sneaking around. But I really love him and he does to me, calls me babydoll and baby honey and stuff. Can someone please give me their advice? I just don’t think it’s that bad

  • nikki
    November 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    i love a married man w/ all my heart but i know he does not have any feelings 4 me at all and id he does,just a little. we only get together when he wants to which is not that often and we just have sex in the woods at the park or in his car and its always quick cause hes afraid of getting caught. he flirts with every other girl at work and i know hes a serial cheater and has been reported 4 sexual harrasment 4 or 5 times at our current job alone. at least 2 of which while he was with me. he thinks i dont know even though ive given him hints. i have wanted him 2 fall madly in love w/ me since the beginning but i know he never will. one time we had a fight at work and i thought we were done and i was almost releived and i totally ignored him at work the whole next day but at the end of the day he tried 2 talk 2 me and i gave in n talked back and he made a joke out of our whole fight n asked me if i was ok and told me he was attrected 2 me b c of my bubbly personality. so i thought he might be attracted 2 me 4 more than just sex but i also see he seems to b attracted 2 anything female with a pulse…

  • nikki
    November 3, 2013 | Permalink |

    i just want 2 find a single guy i can love like i love him and who actually loves me back but i cant

  • Jet
    December 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am completely in love with a married man. After having been married (now divorced) with a clueless man, being with someone who can litteraly identify every emotions I am experiencing simply by looking at my face…I certainly went into it with my eyes open but was not prepared for this emotional rollercoaster. We have now ended it for the third time this wees – or at least agreed to just not give in to the physical temptations anymore – and I am a complete wreck. I am constantly so desperate for ANY for of confirmation of his feelings, always stressed out that his feelings are cooling down…and I suppose I need to face the reality that they are. I am desperate to find something to keep this experience as one that I do not regret, but I am starting to develop anger and resentment because of everything that I have sacrificed and given and how unbalanced the scales are. Yet I would rather still have the little bit of contact he manages to give me than none at all, even though it is killing me. Just dont know how to start healing from this, how to feel worthy again.

  • Dee
    January 3, 2014 | Permalink |

    I am falling in love with a married man too. We started watching each other and hada few brief conversations (his wife was around) and after a few weeks he approached me with his phone number and we have been seeing each other for a month now. He has not mentioned his marriage other than to give me their history on how long they have been together and that she is a good woman but he found out he wasn’t the marrying kind after it was too late. I absolutely love spending time with him and we have so much fun together and a lot in common. I think he is feeling the same way about me but I also think it scares him and I’ve noticed him starting to back off a little. Not a minute of the day goes by that I don’t think about him. I would love to spend the rest of my life with this man. I truly believe he may be my soul mate. My few friends that have got to hang out with us together say they can tell he absolutely adores me. I never meant to fall for this guy! I’m not sure what to do…I don’t want to be the reason his marriage ends bit sadlyi hope it does. I know that’s wrong but I do think I’m falling for him!!

  • Hay
    January 21, 2014 | Permalink |

    Andie, good on you for speaking against promiscuity and came right with God.

    Amy, thank you for sharing with us the pain of being with an unfaithful husband.

    As with the ladies, who believe that they are ‘in love’ with their lovers who are married to someone else, you are NOT IN LOVE! You are in LUST.

    If you really love someone, you would not all you can to protect them from committing sin against God, and forsaking their duty to their families.

    Love is not about happiness, it is about holiness. True joy comes when we truly love, instead of indulging in selfish pursuits for the pleasures.

    May God be with you all.

  • riri
    February 6, 2014 | Permalink |

    I am in love with a married man for 4 yrs! I know he isn’t leaving his wife because they have a lot of money invested in buisnesses they own! He helps me financially n he takes care of my 8 year old daughter! He stopped me from working and he maintains me! He is a very jealous lover he wants me all to himself but he has his wife! I love him very much but I know there is no future for us but its so difficult to leave him because I have never loved a man the way I love him! I am so confused..

  • Tamar
    April 4, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have been dating a married man since 2009. I love him deeply and he says he loves me and honestly his actions towards me shows. He is also a jealous person and has expressed that he wished he could marry me and start a family with me but for the society and the rejection from our family. Most of his friends and family know me except his wife, kids, mom and sisters… yes, his brother knows me.

    i love him so much and I also feel jealous when I see the things he is doing for his family then later feel bad for feeling jealous cos i know I met him as a married man. I know he has no plans of leaving his wife neither does he speak badly about his wife but he does not leave me alone as well. He dotes on me alot, we r in commmunication almost everytime, even when I dont communicate, he makes sure he does and reminds me dt a relationship is two way n not one way so we have to communicate.

    I have done a lot of silly things to break up with him, I have even gone as far as sleeping with another guy and leaving him but somehow we are still together. I have come up with epic fights and even initiated break ups but we r still together and after every fight, we keep getting stronger.

  • Joyceloyce
    April 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    Being involved with a married man is not something planned. I am one person who i thought would never be involved with a married man but here i am and i have been involved with two. My second one, well, lets just say, its a fling, i am not in love with him because i know whats at stake. We work in the same organization, we instantly got attracted to each other from the word go. We have already even made out, i just want it to be that way no intimacy at all. At the end of the day is not easy, but well, am enjoying all the attention. deep in my heart i want to find my man, one who is not shared, or has babies or baby mama drama, just a man to call mine!.. :(

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