Who Cheats More? Men, Women & Their Specific Needs to Cheat

You might be wondering who cheats more, men or women? Does it really matter? It’s more about tackling the problem than understanding who cheats more.

who cheats more men or women

Cheating is painful. That’s a true fact. Betrayal stings, ruins your view of love, and makes you question everything about the relationship. You might be wondering who cheats more, men or women?

The common idea is that men are the biggest cheaters, but there are countless women out there who have cheated on their man too. It seems that cheating is simply a human toxic behavior. Perhaps we should focus more on not doing it, than understanding who cheats more.

If you’re a woman, you shouldn’t suddenly become scared of being in a relationship with a man because there’s the common stereotype that men cheat more. Not all men cheat. Some do, most don’t. And, if you’re a man, you shouldn’t automatically relax and think you’re golden because you’re with a woman. Many women cheat too.

Basically, nobody is immune. That shouldn’t make anyone nervous because, at the end of the day, you have to trust your partner not to be stupid and to respect you and your relationship.

Despite all of that, people are interested in facts and figures, right? So, let’s explore the whole who cheats more argument and find out who cheats more often, men or women. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

Who cheat more – Men or women? Let’s look at the statistics

Some statistics show as many as 70% of men have admitted to cheating on their significant other. Shockingly as many as 60% of women admitted to doing the same.

Others report the figure is closer to 10 to 20% of both males and females.

Almost even, the numbers changed significantly over the past four decades. What is behind the increase in both men and women straying from their relationships? [Read: Tempted to cheat? 15 reasons why being faithful is so hard]

A recent study done at Indiana University concluded the sexes are equal. According to the latest figures, as many as 20% of partners cheat on each other *both men and women*. If you worry about the potential of your significant other going astray, it is not as important to know the odds of infidelity as it is to understand the reasons why people go outside of their current union for sex.

The differences between why men and women cheat are very different. Knowing what they are may keep your spouse put and make them never look anywhere but to you. [Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do in a perfect relationship]

Why do people cheat in the first place?

There are many reasons why people cheat on their partners. It can be a drunken mistake that they immediately regret. Or, it can be that they’re simply not getting an emotional connection from their partner anymore and they accidentally form that with someone else.

Stress, conflict in a relationship, major life changes, and communication problems can all be reasons why someone cheats.

Of course, you also need to understand what cheating actually is. Everyone has a different version in their mind. For some, kissing is cheating. But to other people, it’s not. Some people can forgive cheating involving one night of sex, but can’t forgive an emotional connection being formed.

It’s a really personal deal and to be able to really solve the who cheats more, men or women, argument, you have to have the same idea of what cheating really is. That’s why it’s so hard!

Some people assume that by being the so-called perfect partner, they can stop their partner from cheating on them. That’s not the case. You can’t control another person’s actions or weak circumstances. All you can do is focus on having a happy and fulfilling relationship, and the rest is out of your hands. [Read: To cheat or not to cheat – A guide to make up your mind]

Let’s look at this in two sections to further break it down.

Why do men cheat?

Most of us assume a man goes outside of his relationship for sex because he is unhappy in his current one. That is not the case at all. What research tells us is that if a man loves his wife with all that he is and is extremely happy by her side, it still may not be enough. If their sex is unsatisfying, the desire for excellent sex is more important than keeping his commitment. Not for all men, however – it’s important to stress that point!

In general, however, the happier you keep your man sexually, the less likely he is to cheat on you.

Driven by desire, men seek out new sexual experiences to fulfill their need for sexual gratification no matter how healthy their relationship is. [Read: Why do men cheat? – 3 big reasons and 27 more]

Men are different from women when it comes to the calculation of sex outside marriage. A man who cheats is often looking for one thing – sex. Some men are not above setting up a dating profile, picking strange women up in a bar for a one-night affair, or having sex online.

Not needing any emotional connection, it is purely about sexual gratification. They may go to great lengths to keep their extramarital affairs secret and are in and out of the cheating situation.

Not wanting to get hung up, it isn’t about finding happiness with someone for the long-term, just about an hour or so. [Read: 10 deceptively simple reasons why men cheat on really great women]

Why do women cheat?

Often, women are better at justifying their extramarital relationships. Women who cheat outside of their marriage do so for emotional connection, not just the sexual one. It normally progresses into a sexual relationship, but they are looking first to get the attention and love they feel is missing in their current union.

The decision for a woman to cheat on her husband usually is not a conscious or calculated one. They develop an emotional tie with another man outside of their marriage, and something sexual develops.

A woman is less likely to set up a profile specifically to find a man to have sex with. They are more likely to make a friend at work and the next thing they know, they are sneaking around having sex on the side. [Read: 25 truthful reasons why women cheat so easily]

Women also tend to get wrapped up in their affairs, which would explain why most of the relationships that have broken up due to infidelity, have been women initiating it because they’re not happy in the relationship anymore.

It is probably because women get more emotionally tied to their affair and can’t seem to let go, confusing them, and making them choose between two men.

Women who are happy in their current relationship are not likely to cheat. Unlike men who can be in a completely loving and happy marriage and still cheat, women who feel valued and loved, normally will not go outside of the relationship purely for sexual encounters.

[Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend with two guys and feel so much better already!]

Can you stop your partner from cheating?

Now we know the potential reasons why someone cheats, and who cheats more, men or women, the next question is what can you do about it? The truth is, as mentioned, you can’t really stop them if they’re going to do it.

But, you can solve problems in your relationship which could, if left unsolved, lead a person to look for something else.

Here are a few aspects to bear in mind.

1. A man who feels valued and has a good sex life is less likely to cheat

If you want to keep your relationship cheat-free, keep your man interested.

Don’t let things in the bedroom get stale or fool yourself into thinking that going a couple of weeks without sex is okay with him or you. If you want to keep him by your side, you may have to take the initiative to spice things up in the bedroom and keep him guessing at every turn. [Read: How to make love to a man – 20 unforgettable moves to master]

2. If you are a man trying to keep your relationship, give your partner the emotional connection she craves

Don’t take her for granted, or treat her like she isn’t a priority. It is not uncommon for things in your life to get hectic and to lose that connection you once had. But, you have to put the effort in to stop once in a while and listen to her.

She must feel valued, loved, and connected to stay put. Then, she won’t have a bug in her ear that someone out there may love and treat her better.

You may know you love her, but does she? If you admire her, think she is hot, or want to hold onto her, tell her so. Then, you will never have to worry about her going astray. [Read: 16 ways to show your appreciation for someone you love]

3. Keep the small issues small and stop things from snowballing out of control

If the same issues continue to arise, it is important to try to get things back on track.

Even if it feels like your partner is being unreasonable, if you attend to the small things as they arise they won’t be huge mountains that stand in the way of your closeness in the future. This means talking about things and not assuming that your partner can read your mind. Communication is key! [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a better love]

4. Make your relationship a priority at all times

It’s easy to allow work and life in general to take over. But, that means you’re losing focus on what’s important. Make sure that your relationship always remains a priority. That means regular date nights that are never canceled or rearranged.

Always be present in the moment and don’t dedicate more time to your friends than your partner.

And, talk about things that are bothering you. Keep having new experiences together and nothing will ever feel so stale or frustrating that you need to look outside of your relationship for something better.

5. Show your appreciation for one another

People who feel appreciated and happy in relationships rarely stray. So, make sure that you tell your partner regularly just how much you care and appreciate them.

Don’t shout at them or make snide comments when they do something that you wish they’d done differently. Listen to them and make sure that their needs are accommodated just as much as yours.

Relationships are a two-way street and by making sure that you both feel appreciated and loved, you’re creating a positive situation, not a negative one. [Read: 16 ways to show your appreciation for someone you love]

6. Have time alone too

This one might sound counterproductive but we all need time to ourselves. It could be that your partner is feeling suffocated or that you’re being too needy.

In that case, you’re potentially pushing them towards adverse action. Make sure that you both have regular time to yourselves and to spend time with your friends. But, that doesn’t mean your time alone should outnumber the time you spend together – it should be regular but proportionate. [Read: How much time should couples spend together? The answers you need]

It doesn’t matter who cheats more

It might be interesting to learn who cheats more, men or women, but what does it really achieve? Nothing! It’s far better to focus on your own relationship and work at making it better. That way, you shouldn’t have to worry about cheating being an issue for you.

At the end of the day, both men and women make mistakes. For sure, the old stereotype is about men cheating more. But women do so too!

When relationships aren’t happy or loving, straying happens.

[Read: 9 stages of love all couples go through in a relationship]

Now that you know who cheats more between men and women, it should still make no difference to you. You can’t stop someone from doing something they want to do, but you can minimize the likelihood by not taking your spouse for granted. Whether it is providing them with the sexual or emotional attention they need, the better connected you are, the more likely you will be connected forever.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...