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13 Signs Your Friends Are Ruining Your Relationship

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Your friends may seem nice and trustworthy, but are your friends ruining your relationship? Use these traits to find out if they’re bad for your love. By Gerry Sanders

friends ruining relationship

Friends can be the best thing in the world.

But at times, they can be the worst too.

Do you find yourself jumping from one relationship to another all the time?

Do you think there’s something wrong with you?

Sometimes, it may not be you.

It may be your best friends who’re unknowingly messing your relationships up for you without your notice.

[Read: 9 new relationship traits to keep in mind while starting a new relationship]

Are your friends ruining your relationship?

A long time ago, I saw this great girl from another college at a frat party.

I thought she was extremely cute and I really wanted to know her better.

We exchanged glances with each other all night, but she had to leave before I could make my move.

The next day, I got a note from her. One of our common friends hand delivered it to me. In the note, she mentioned that she really liked me and would like to meet me sometime.

I showed the note to my best friend, and he rubbished it immediately.

“She’s a whore, dude, she just wants to sleep around. And she doesn’t look good anyway… Forget about her, she’s just not worth it…” he said as he tore the note into bits.

I didn’t bother responding to the note, and forgot all about her.

A year later, I saw her again in another friend’s arm. She looked so stunning, I had a hard time holding my jaws shut. My friend introduced her and I found out later that he was her first boyfriend.

Apparently, she was a shy girl who never hung out with boys and was only interested in a serious relationship.

I felt like kicking myself in the head for being such a jerk and blowing her off after she worked her courage up to write me a letter.

But what I realized at the same time is how easily friends can manipulate you into walking away from perfect relationships. [Read: Bad friends - When should you end a friendship?]

13 signs your friends are ruining your relationship

It may be jealousy, malice or a veiled attempt to be better than you, but sometimes even the best of friends can turn out to be real backstabbers, at least when it comes to love.

If you find yourself breaking up from seemingly perfect relationships all the time, perhaps, you need to ask yourself if your friends played a bigger part than you first imagined.

Here are 13 circumstances when your best friends could turn out to be your worst relationship nightmare.

#1 Your friends think your date’s not good enough. Ever been here? You date someone you really like but your friends think your date’s obnoxious or ugly? At times like these, you may start wondering yourself if you’ve made the wrong choice. And once you start thinking, it’s easy to mentally turn even a perfect partner into an ugly hag.

#2 Friends who constantly want your attention. Do your friends constantly butt in when you’re hanging out with your new lover? To your friends, gate crashing your romantic date may seem like a laugh. But it can actually piss your new date off.

If your friends constantly whine about how much time you spend with your new squeeze, they’re just bored and annoyed that you’ve got something better to do. Real friends give you a choice. Bad friends only care about their own fun.

#3 Talking about past relationships. Past relationships are always sensitive. When you and your date are hanging out with your friends, do your friends constantly talk about your exes or about the way you used to behave around an ex just to have a laugh? [Read: The right way to talk about past relationships]

#4 Friends who want you to cheat. Your friend may love one night stands, but they really shouldn’t be trying to convince you to do the same when you’re in a relationship. It’s easy to be manipulated by friends you trust, but sometimes you need to space yourself from these kinds of friends who don’t want your romantic relationships to evolve into something better.

#5 Friends who make you ignore your lover. When you’re out with your lover and your friends, do your friends constantly try to keep you occupied or try to split both of you into separate conversations?

Friends who make you ignore your lover by constantly trying to keep you engrossed in another conversation or take you to another part of the room are never good for your budding relationship.

#6 Friends who flirt with your lover. There are bad friends and then there are worse. Friends who flirt with your new date behind your back are the worst kind. If your friend tries to put you down, or calls up your lover and speaks for hours when you’re not around, there’s a good chance that your friend is looking for ways to break both of you up and enter the picture. [Read: Things to do when you fall for a friend's girlfriend]

#7 They disrespect your partner. Do you feel like your friends ignore your new lover or treat them disrespectfully while hanging out together? If you feel it, chances are, it’s true. When your friends disrespect your date, it reflects badly on you as a lover.

#8 Your friends speak ill of you. Do your friends treat you disrespectfully when you’re with your date? Your friends should help you impress your date and win a lover over, not make you look bad. If your friends put you down in front of your lover, they’re probably jealous or annoyed.

#9 They always show the worst side. Do your friends offer bad advice or tell you to break up with your partner over the smallest of reasons? If your friends always make you see the worst in your partner, they may not be such good friends, after all. If they have good reasons, perhaps they’re only trying to help you. But almost always, friends whose only advice starts with “break up…” are up to no good.

#10 Your friends know your amorous secrets. If you’ve been good friends for a while, your friends would definitely know your dirty secrets. They may even know about that hottie who flirted with you a few nights ago.

Do your friends pull your leg or threaten to reveal all your dirty secrets in front of your new lover when all of you go out together? Even if it’s just a joke and they don’t say anything out loud to your new lover, these kinds of conversations will always rouse doubts in your new lover and may even strain your new relationship beyond repair.

#11 Friends who flirt with you. This is something you’ll have to deal with immediately. Do any of your friends of the opposite sex like you or try to flirt with you in front of your new date? It doesn’t matter if your flirty friend hits on you on facebook or on the streets, it’s still going to make your new lover feel awkward and insecure. [Read: How to make a partner feel less insecure]

#12 Friends of the opposite sex. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex? If you do, you’re already starting off on the insecure foot. Not many people feel comfortable dating someone who has a best friend of the opposite sex. And if your best friend is touchy feely, you’re going to have a harder time convincing your new lover that you and your best friend are just good friends. [Read: Why guy best friends are nothing but trouble]

#13 Friends who know too much. Do your friends know every little secret about your partner? You may like those discussions you have with your friends about partners, affairs and prick sizes or boob sizes. But if your partner gets to know about it, they may get rather annoyed.

Most of the time, your partner may not like it when you share your relationship’s intimate details with your friends. To ensure that your friends aren’t affecting your relationship, avoid talking about intricate details with your friends, especially when it comes to your partner and their embarrassing areas.

[Read: 25 big relationship rules for successful love]

At times, your friends could absentmindedly ruin your relationship. But almost always, friends ruin relationships just for fun. So unless you want to lose your lover and hate your friends, keep these 13 relationship ruining signs in mind!


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Have your say!
  • Anon
    February 6, 2013 | Permalink |

    As someone who is currently having their (best) friendship ruined by a new relationship, I found this article to be infuriatingly one-sided.

  • Ian
    May 9, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m calling BS on all of this. More often than not, two dudes will be the best of friends and then a girl will come along and ruin their friendship and shake her tail and her boyfriend will take her side and abandon his buddy. Your list is ENCOURAGING that sort of nonsense. Friends are SO much more important than girlfriends. This list makes a dude think that the girl he’s with isn’t an awful rag when more often than not, it’s the case that she is, in fact, an awful rag. If your girl doesn’t get along with your friends, it’s time for a new girl.

  • Jimmy
    December 5, 2013 | Permalink |

    I don’t think this is bullshit. I don’t believe that friends are so much more important than girlfriends, ESPECIALLY serious girlfriends. I am seriously in love with my girlfriend. She is the one for me; and I envision myself marrying her someday. My female friends, however, are currently doing numerous items on this list, and it is making my relationship rather shaky. I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years, and I have known these new female friends for only 4 months (we just started Optometry school together). They consistently try to give advice to me about breaking up with my girlfriend every time we fight and that I deserve better whenever she is upset. They gossip incessantly about very very trivial things; and they are consistently acting as if they know my entire relationship and what I need and that they know what is best for me. Needless to say, they do not, as a 2 year relationship cannot be trumped by a 4 month friendship.

  • Victim
    December 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    I have been a victim of this as many people probably have. A lot of times this has happened with a guy I meet at work. Specifically the most common ones are the backstabbers. There was one girl who flirted with my guy after I Ieft work while pretending to be my friend and giving horrible advice driving him away. Another openly put him down in front of me but I’d catch her checking him out. The third didn’t even like him but just wanted to be the alpha girl and lied to both of us telling him I’m no good and telling me that he’s not interested in me. He then moved on to another job and I found out from his work buddy that he really liked me but thought I was just playing with his head. He would have been the perfect guy for me but my so called gfs destroyed my chances. The people up top who call this article crap are probably one of the sabotagers in this article.

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