Do you Want to Spy on your Partner?

do you want to spy on your partner

Do you ever get the urge to spy on your partner? Spying on your husband or wife may give you the peace of mind, but it can also lead to more problems than ever before.

Click here to read the introduction: Are you Snooping on your Partner?

You remember Cindy’s story in “Are you Snooping in your Relationship?” Now ask yourself what you could do if you were in Cindy’s place.

If you tell him that you had spied on him, he’d dump you eventually for not trusting him. Even if you brought up the issue, you would not have any proof. There’s just not enough proof nor has any steamy seduction session been mentioned in the diary!

Remember, spying on your partner feels great, like unlocking a hidden box of mysteries. But if you find anything nasty, things are just going to get more complicated.

Compulsive Spying

They say that when you’re in love, you can read each other’s minds. If falling in love means getting an upgrade of occlumency or legilemens (don’t we all love Harry Potter?!), there’s no need to spy on your partner at all, is there? But these days, understanding and loving someone is much harder than the way it’s portrayed in fairy tales.

Spying on your partner gives you an assurance that things are nice and smooth, and everything’s just perfect in your love life.

But what if you firmly believe that spying is a serious invasion of privacy, but your instincts tell you that your partner is bouncing off the sack with someone else? And to make things worse, you’ve already confronted them, and they deny everything! Now, is spying a good thing to do, especially if you can back your intuition with some rock solid evidence?

Jennifer, a 24 year old says she’s a firm believer of spying on partners, at least for emotional security’s sake. Her live-in boyfriend started coming home late every night, and sometimes he would reek of perfume and cigarette, like he’s been clubbing all the time. He would just shush her by saying that he was hanging out with the boys.

She never believed him, nor could she find any evidence of cheating. One night when he was out with “his friends”, she rummaged though his stuff, and in a little inner pocket of his jacket, she found movie tickets for two on the next night. She didn’t mention anything just in case he asks her out the next day.

Sure enough, the next day he told her he was going bowling with the guys. An hour later, Jennifer walked into the movie theatre and confronted her boyfriend. It was a scene she says was well worth the embarrassment and pain.

Communication before Spying

Your partner may just be one of the few who cheat on their partner, but in most cases, it may just be a false alarm. And just imagine how let down your partner would feel if you’re caught spying on your partner.

In most cases, the ones who stray are the ones who have partners who spy on them all the time. David, who cheated on his ex-wife says, “I never did want to cheat on her, but it was real annoying. Every time I come home, she used to check my pockets for condom wrappers or check my boxers for stains! It was a traumatic experience to walk home to a wife who wanted to confront me with cheating charges, instead of the love I wanted from her. Eventually, I thought, what the hell, she doesn’t trust me anyways, and took the plunge!”

Spying on your partner can have disastrous results at times, don’t you think?

Click here to continue reading: Should you Confess that you Snooped?

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DISCUSSION

  • I prefer not doing it as I’ll feel worse if I find something. In my eyes it can turn into a real problem or something like that. Moreover, I think if you do spy over your partner you don’t trust him and thus you don’t love him.

  • I truly believe that spying to find out if your partner or spouse is having an affair can be hazardous. I hate the idea of spying on my wife but maybe it’s the only way to know for sure.

  • dian

    I have been spying on my partner for a year now and he hasn’t done a thing wrong to me and the thing wrong about it is me not trusting him, so I stopped spying on him and our lives really got better. You really have to trust your partner because you would have lost nothing if you trust them but they would lose you if they broke your trust. Trust them and it’s up to them and it’s their choice if they want to lose your trust. Don’t mind your lover, just let him be and just let him go. If he really loves you, he would never break your trust and that’s what I proved with my partner right now. I confessed that I was spying on him for over a year and he kind of laughed about it and even asked if I saw him run from his desk to the bathroom one time because he was about to shit his pants. He laughed about it genuinely because he didn’t mind at all because he knew he couldn’t do anything that would hurt me and I really appreciated it. He’s truly the one for me.

  • oih

    I really want to spy on my partner to know what he really is doing at work. I mean, he always goes home late and never really has energy to spend time with me in bed. He just rolls over to his side and sleeps like a log.