If you tell him that you had spied on him, he’d dump you eventually for not trusting him. Even if you brought up the issue, you would not have any proof. There’s just not enough proof nor has any steamy seduction session been mentioned in the diary!
Remember, spying on your partner feels great, like unlocking a hidden box of mysteries. But if you find anything nasty, things are just going to get more complicated.
They say that when you’re in love, you can read each other’s minds. If falling in love means getting an upgrade of occlumency or legilemens (don’t we all love Harry Potter?!), there’s no need to spy on your partner at all, is there? But these days, understanding and loving someone is much harder than the way it’s portrayed in fairy tales.
Spying on your partner gives you an assurance that things are nice and smooth, and everything’s just perfect in your love life.
But what if you firmly believe that spying is a serious invasion of privacy, but your instincts tell you that your partner is bouncing off the sack with someone else? And to make things worse, you’ve already confronted them, and they deny everything! Now, is spying a good thing to do, especially if you can back your intuition with some rock solid evidence?
Jennifer, a 24 year old says she’s a firm believer of spying on partners, at least for emotional security’s sake. Her live-in boyfriend started coming home late every night, and sometimes he would reek of perfume and cigarette, like he’s been clubbing all the time. He would just shush her by saying that he was hanging out with the boys.
She never believed him, nor could she find any evidence of cheating. One night when he was out with “his friends”, she rummaged though his stuff, and in a little inner pocket of his jacket, she found movie tickets for two on the next night. She didn’t mention anything just in case he asks her out the next day.
Sure enough, the next day he told her he was going bowling with the guys. An hour later, Jennifer walked into the movie theatre and confronted her boyfriend. It was a scene she says was well worth the embarrassment and pain.
Communication before Spying
Your partner may just be one of the few who cheat on their partner, but in most cases, it may just be a false alarm. And just imagine how let down your partner would feel if you’re caught spying on your partner.
In most cases, the ones who stray are the ones who have partners who spy on them all the time. David, who cheated on his ex-wife says, “I never did want to cheat on her, but it was real annoying. Every time I come home, she used to check my pockets for condom wrappers or check my boxers for stains! It was a traumatic experience to walk home to a wife who wanted to confront me with cheating charges, instead of the love I wanted from her. Eventually, I thought, what the hell, she doesn’t trust me anyways, and took the plunge!”
Spying on your partner can have disastrous results at times, don’t you think?