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Open Relationships – The New Fidelity in Love?

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Are open relationships the new way to keep a marriage alive? As tempting as it can seem, a sexually exciting open relationship could work for some couples, but not for all. Find out why.

open relationship | have an open relationship

The definition of a relationship is simple, but yet, it’s one that constantly changes with time, and with people.

Once upon a time, marriage was an exclusive bond.

The only way to experience anything out of the sexual ordinary when you’re in wedlock was infidelity. And that led to a divorce.

In recent years, men and women have started interacting a lot more, at work, at parties, social gatherings at home, and even online in social networking sites like Facebook.

And today, America is crescendoing into a divorce orgasm with almost half of all first marriages ending badly. Is it the sex? Is it misunderstandings or insecurity?

Changing the rules of the game

There are a lot of reasons for the failing romance and we won’t get into it here.

But we’ll talk about something most people are doing to save their marriage.

Somewhere along the path of wedlock, a few clever sexual exploiters came up with a fancy way to twist the sacraments of matrimony. And with that, hopefully reduce the wailing divorce rate again.

In comes the new relationship to save the day. Open relationships.

But is it the best way to keep a relationship going gung ho? So the next time we find our husbands or wives boring, all we need to do is hop, skip and jump into another bed and bang another hottie. Is that the answer?

Perhaps it is. A lot of couples are actually opting for an open relationship over the traditional one. And for many of them, it seems to be working.

What is an open relationship?

An open relationship can be defined as any relationship in which the emotional connection is exclusive, but the physical intimacy isn’t. Both the partners love each other, but they also have sex with other people outside the marriage.

Now this can seem really disturbing, but to several couples this seems to be working just fine.

Surprisingly, couples who participate in open relationships aren’t horny perverts who hate their own lovers. In most cases, the couples are college sweethearts or lovers who have been together for a very long time. And in almost all cases, it starts with true love.

The world is a smaller place today than it was a couple of decades ago. Men and women meet new associates at work or friends almost every day. And when you’re constantly meeting new people, it’s only human to find someone you meet attractive.

And when you start to meet attractive people who think you’re attractive too, you are bound to start wondering if you got the short end of the stick by getting into wedlock without really looking around enough. [Read: Sexy types of sex]

The world outside the relationship

No one looks forward to cheating when they enter into a relationship. But sometimes, it’s irresistible or inevitable. Lovers start to take each other for granted as the relationship gets older. And at the same time, sparks can ignite outside your relationship when you’re having a great time with someone else.

You obviously wouldn’t want to cheat, and this whole confusing mess of a steady relationship at home and a happy, fun and sexy relationship outside can be very frustrating. Many people walk out of the marriage at times like these because they feel they aren’t experiencing the happiness they truly deserve in a relationship.

[Read: How to start swinging]

[Read: Threesome sex for you?]

And a few months later, after experiencing a lot of happiness *having sex with anything that walks* outside the relationship, they realize that their own partner was the nicest person in the world and try pleading their way back into old love.

Should you have an open relationship?

Are open relationships really better than a divorce? Is it better to be stuck in a relationship and look outside the relationship for sexual ecstasy and happiness? It’s actually better to just walk out and start something fresh, isn’t it?

We don’t want to be judgmental here, but at least to some Americans, open relationships do work. And it works well.

As surprising as this may seem, love and sex are two completely different things. Most people think otherwise, but that’s not true. You can be completely in love with someone and sexual desire someone else. It’s natural to find someone else sexually attractive, and as humans, we’re selfish and ambitious, whether it’s about money or sex. We all want what we can’t have and that increases the sexual tension and desire.

Instead of living in frustration and sexual neglect, you could love your partner and yet, have the best sex in the world with other people. If you and your partner love each other, but the sexual frustration is tearing the relationship apart, then perhaps an open relationship is just for you. [Read: Don't want to have sex with your partner?]

Open relationship – The better alternative?

While walking down a busy street or while shopping in a mall, you’re bound to see a lot of attractive lookers. And there you are, “stuck” in a relationship and destined to have sex with just one person for the rest of your life. To many, that idea is painful to visualize. It’s easier to cheat and break a heart instead of having to stare at the same package every single day. [Read: Why is sex important in a relationship?]

At other times, the urge to experience what the world has to offer sexually can be so intense, it could end the relationship. If both partners are likely to cheat or want to experience new interests in bed, then perhaps, an open relationship is the best way forward. Both of you love each other, and both of you want to experience new sexual partners, and you get to do both in an open relationship. So if this is you, then an open relationship may be the perfect remedy for a broken marriage.

At the same time, open relationships also reduce infidelity over time. In life, we crave for something we just can’t have. Sex outside wedlock is so arousing and exciting because it’s taboo, and you just want it. But if you’re having an open relationship, sex outside the relationship isn’t taboo and so, it loses its charm!

Many couples who are involved in open relationships say they’re happier in the relationship and love their partner a lot more because they get the best of both worlds, emotional security and new sexual experiences.

[Story: Having an affair with a married man]

When open relationships fail

An open relationship may be successful for some couples, it’s roadkill for all other couples. In most cases, only one partner wants to have sex outside the relationship. And they try to convince their lover that an open relationship is the best way forward. But it doesn’t work. You can’t just convince your partner to get into an open relationship.

An open relationship can be more painful than a cheating partner if you’re not ready for it. The thought of a partner meeting new people just to have sex while you’re sitting at home can be excruciating. And let’s not even get started with jealousy!

Unless you really want it, or both of you catch each other cheating behind your backs, an open relationship may not be the best remedy for you. [Read: Dating facts]

The last word on open relationships

Let’s face it, open relationships seem like a very exciting and tempting idea. But every time you’re having sex with someone else, your partner’s doing the same too. Can you handle that? Most lovers want to have sex outside the relationship, but can’t imagine their own partner with someone else. If you’re one of them, well, you’re a piece of dog excreta, but yeah, an open relationship isn’t for you.

Open relationships are for couples who love each other, and understand that an open relationship can actually help their marriage in the long run. They’re not looking for an excuse to have sex with someone else, nor are they coercing their partner to jump into it. [Read: How to better a relationship]

So if you’re that couple, open relationships may be the best step towards happiness. But what’s your take? Would you ever get into an open relationship with your partner?


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Have your say!
  • Matt
    July 6, 2011 | Permalink |

    I think open relationships are great for a marriage. These days, people don’t have the time to stay in commited relationships. It’s like we’re going back to the time when humans were primates and have sex with just about anyone.

    Think about it, if you’re in a serious relationship, you’ll always want to have sex with some other girl. And you know you’d definitely have sex if you get the chance. And by being in an open relationship, we get to enjoy the best of both worlds, emotional security and sex with anyone we want. Nothing beats an open relationship. The only issue is that it’s quite difficult to speak to your spouse about this. But in a decade or two, I think open relationships will be the norm.

  • Kirsten
    July 6, 2011 | Permalink |

    Open relationships are gross. It’s adulterous, and I think men try to convince women and push them into open relationships only so the men can have more sex and not worry about getting caught!

    Open relationships are perverse, vile and the most disgusting thing on earth. And all those people who promote it should just go to hell, or stay single! A##holes!

  • Open Relationship Man
    November 15, 2011 | Permalink |

    I’m currently sharing an open relationship with my wife. We have been in love for many years and have been married for more than a decade. Both of us like having sex, but we’re just bored of having sex with each other.

    One day, I found out that she was cheating on me with another man. We needed therapy and a lot of help, but once we did work on our relationship, we did realize with the help of our therapist that an open relationship would be perfect for us.

    And to tell you the truth, I couldn’t be happier!

  • July 16, 2012 | Permalink |

    My wife and I are thinking of trying the “lifestyle” and suggestions on starting?

  • Faye
    November 18, 2012 | Permalink |

    I have tried to discuss this with my husband many times. But he is the type of man who wants just a relationship with me. I will be honest our sex life is nonexistent. I would much rather be in an open marriage but he will not have. I am now cheating on him with another man. So my advice is try it but if it doesn’t work out it is time for a divorce.

  • Jason
    November 28, 2012 | Permalink |

    I love my wife dearly. We are at the point where the sex between us has lost alot of its glamour. Could I handle another man sleeping with my wife? Hell ya…it would drive me crazy horny! I would need to hear every detail but would much rather see the innerslut being brought out of my wife! Ya sure it would be fun trying other women but I do love the one I got…and want her to have the craziest sex even if it meant me and another guy to get her to another level.

  • February 10, 2013 | Permalink |

    I want to have an open relationship, but don’t know how to approach my husband about it. I love him dearly and want to be with him always, but our sex life is to the point where I do want to participate. We have tried different ways to “spice up” our sex life but to no avail. I don’t want him to have to suffer because I am not happy with our sex life, so I would like for him to explore different options. I really don’t mind, I love him and really want him to be happy.

  • Shelly
    June 19, 2013 | Permalink |

    Found this article to be very timely. Yes there is a difference between sex and making love. Do I love my husband? yes. Do we enjoy sex? heck yes! We understand each other when it comes to our sex life as well. We have recently started to “swing” and we have never been happier or more in love with each other as well. To watch him with another woman or have him watch me with another man has taken our relationship to another level. This may not work for everyone but it sure works for us!

  • Litney
    June 29, 2013 | Permalink |

    Open relationships are absurd. Why marry that person if you get bored with him or her? Right? True love is about never getting tired and working things out with your spouse. They say that when you enter a relationship you should be ready with the problems and that goes the same with marriage.

  • Barbie White
    September 22, 2013 | Permalink |

    This topic sure bothers me, and its truly one I will never understand or want to. Every time I hear someone preach about ” how this open relationship works for the love of eachother and for their marriage, that is completely meaningless. The fact of this matter is – what these married couples wants and wishes for themselves basically goes against every single one of us folks that know the true meaning of love. To first fine this great person and then to make it good and wondeful soul to soul meaningful love two people can have.. what these open people want to do without eachother is what every single of us normal peoples nightmares. BE SINGLE THEN if thats what it is you need. It is NOT fair of you to create this selfish fetish you people do with eachother and then breed and call it *a marriage.* that upsets me, you people have NO business forging some contract then pledging to be monogamous.in it. Be single and live it up then- the obvious reason for this new found lifestyle is for all the people who couldnt get laid enough in their earlier lifes. Or they just dont have ENOUGH LOVE for eachother in their M’d life to even think of it. Having sex with someone is a form of bonding whether your attracted or not. You cant just leave your emotions at the door and then walk into your orgy…because sooner or later ,, one of you will be leaving that orgy with a new screw.

  • Rosa
    November 14, 2013 | Permalink |

    One group of people who are certainly going to benefit from open marriages will be lawyers!

    When a couple marry the rules have already been laid down, all is black and white, adultery is grounds for divorce. If two people want to live together and both want to be free to screw around, that is up to them, but they are going to have to negotiate the rules by which they are both going to live. Each “open-minded” couple is going to have to have many serious discussions about how their relationship is conducted, and if they have any sense, get the rules drawn up into a legal contract.

    The risk of HIV and STD’s will also require frequent trips to Sexual Health Clinics, the man a girl fancies a quick session with, and then straight after has sex with her partner, might have previously slept with umpteen men or women of questionable hygiene – sexy!!

  • Beverly
    December 21, 2013 | Permalink |

    I am dating a man I’ve known for some 15 years and for some I think he would be happy in an open relationship. I have come to accept that men like variety when it comes to having sex. It’s the forbidden fruit. (Who says we bit the apple first….that’s balony!) I feel there is no such thing as cheating since men were not genetically predisposed to being monogamous. That is our societies creation and look at the mess it’s making of peoples lives. All the “cheaters programming” on TV would have to end. As long as I know he loves me and uses protection with the other woman…then I don’t mind if he sleeps with another woman. But if I ever get the inclination to sleep with another man…I would and he should be okay with that too. Right now, I’m just happy with him only.

  • Barbie White
    January 10, 2014 | Permalink |

    We call that ” the half-ass love” to the girl who made a comment before mine. How could you possibly be ok with your situation. He sluts around and you dont. And you think its love you two got going on. Bad comment on how men arent genetically predisposed to be monogamous, your giving your man a reason to bone whoever he chooses because of your thoughts. Honey, once you truly fall in love- you will understand what the real feelings of relationship is all about….committment and loyalty wil, be there. I promise. Believe it or not, being in love can make you “for sake all others” and want to. You open people thats all you preach about is ‘how boring the sex is with the my partner ” thats too bad……..

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