The definition of a relationship is simple, but yet, it’s one that constantly changes with time, and with people.
Once upon a time, marriage was an exclusive bond.
The only way to experience anything out of the sexual ordinary when you’re in wedlock was infidelity. And that led to a divorce.
In recent years, men and women have started interacting a lot more, at work, at parties, social gatherings at home, and even online in social networking sites like Facebook.
And today, America is crescendoing into a divorce orgasm with almost half of all first marriages ending badly. Is it the sex? Is it misunderstandings or insecurity?
Changing the rules of the game
There are a lot of reasons for the failing romance and we won’t get into it here.
But we’ll talk about something most people are doing to save their marriage.
Somewhere along the path of wedlock, a few clever sexual exploiters came up with a fancy way to twist the sacraments of matrimony. And with that, hopefully reduce the wailing divorce rate again.
In comes the new relationship to save the day. Open relationships.
But is it the best way to keep a relationship going gung ho? So the next time we find our husbands or wives boring, all we need to do is hop, skip and jump into another bed and bang another hottie. Is that the answer?
Perhaps it is. A lot of couples are actually opting for an open relationship over the traditional one. And for many of them, it seems to be working.
What is an open relationship?
An open relationship can be defined as any relationship in which the emotional connection is exclusive, but the physical intimacy isn’t. Both the partners love each other, but they also have sex with other people outside the marriage.
Now this can seem really disturbing, but to several couples this seems to be working just fine.
Surprisingly, couples who participate in open relationships aren’t horny perverts who hate their own lovers. In most cases, the couples are college sweethearts or lovers who have been together for a very long time. And in almost all cases, it starts with true love.
The world is a smaller place today than it was a couple of decades ago. Men and women meet new associates at work or friends almost every day. And when you’re constantly meeting new people, it’s only human to find someone you meet attractive.
And when you start to meet attractive people who think you’re attractive too, you are bound to start wondering if you got the short end of the stick by getting into wedlock without really looking around enough. [Read: Sexy types of sex]
The world outside the relationship
No one looks forward to cheating when they enter into a relationship. But sometimes, it’s irresistible or inevitable. Lovers start to take each other for granted as the relationship gets older. And at the same time, sparks can ignite outside your relationship when you’re having a great time with someone else.
You obviously wouldn’t want to cheat, and this whole confusing mess of a steady relationship at home and a happy, fun and sexy relationship outside can be very frustrating. Many people walk out of the marriage at times like these because they feel they aren’t experiencing the happiness they truly deserve in a relationship.
[Read: How to start swinging]
[Read: Threesome sex for you?]
And a few months later, after experiencing a lot of happiness *having sex with anything that walks* outside the relationship, they realize that their own partner was the nicest person in the world and try pleading their way back into old love.
Should you have an open relationship?
Are open relationships really better than a divorce? Is it better to be stuck in a relationship and look outside the relationship for sexual ecstasy and happiness? It’s actually better to just walk out and start something fresh, isn’t it?
We don’t want to be judgmental here, but at least to some Americans, open relationships do work. And it works well.
As surprising as this may seem, love and sex are two completely different things. Most people think otherwise, but that’s not true. You can be completely in love with someone and sexual desire someone else. It’s natural to find someone else sexually attractive, and as humans, we’re selfish and ambitious, whether it’s about money or sex. We all want what we can’t have and that increases the sexual tension and desire.
Instead of living in frustration and sexual neglect, you could love your partner and yet, have the best sex in the world with other people. If you and your partner love each other, but the sexual frustration is tearing the relationship apart, then perhaps an open relationship is just for you. [Read: Don’t want to have sex with your partner?]
Open relationship – The better alternative?
While walking down a busy street or while shopping in a mall, you’re bound to see a lot of attractive lookers. And there you are, “stuck” in a relationship and destined to have sex with just one person for the rest of your life. To many, that idea is painful to visualize. It’s easier to cheat and break a heart instead of having to stare at the same package every single day. [Read: Why is sex important in a relationship?]
At other times, the urge to experience what the world has to offer sexually can be so intense, it could end the relationship. If both partners are likely to cheat or want to experience new interests in bed, then perhaps, an open relationship is the best way forward. Both of you love each other, and both of you want to experience new sexual partners, and you get to do both in an open relationship. So if this is you, then an open relationship may be the perfect remedy for a broken marriage.
At the same time, open relationships also reduce infidelity over time. In life, we crave for something we just can’t have. Sex outside wedlock is so arousing and exciting because it’s taboo, and you just want it. But if you’re having an open relationship, sex outside the relationship isn’t taboo and so, it loses its charm!
Many couples who are involved in open relationships say they’re happier in the relationship and love their partner a lot more because they get the best of both worlds, emotional security and new sexual experiences.
[Story: Having an affair with a married man]
When open relationships fail
An open relationship may be successful for some couples, it’s roadkill for all other couples. In most cases, only one partner wants to have sex outside the relationship. And they try to convince their lover that an open relationship is the best way forward. But it doesn’t work. You can’t just convince your partner to get into an open relationship.
An open relationship can be more painful than a cheating partner if you’re not ready for it. The thought of a partner meeting new people just to have sex while you’re sitting at home can be excruciating. And let’s not even get started with jealousy!
Unless you really want it, or both of you catch each other cheating behind your backs, an open relationship may not be the best remedy for you. [Read: Dating facts]
The last word on open relationships
Let’s face it, open relationships seem like a very exciting and tempting idea. But every time you’re having sex with someone else, your partner’s doing the same too. Can you handle that? Most lovers want to have sex outside the relationship, but can’t imagine their own partner with someone else. If you’re one of them, well, you’re a piece of dog excreta, but yeah, an open relationship isn’t for you.
Open relationships are for couples who love each other, and understand that an open relationship can actually help their marriage in the long run. They’re not looking for an excuse to have sex with someone else, nor are they coercing their partner to jump into it. [Read: How to better a relationship]
So if you’re that couple, open relationships may be the best step towards happiness. But what’s your take? Would you ever get into an open relationship with your partner?
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