We hear that dating is hard. Well, before you even get to the dating part, the complications begin – how to tell if a guy is flirting with you for sure?! Is he being friendly and nice to you for the sake of it, or is he getting his flirt on? Sometimes, it can be difficult to figure out, but if you know the signs a guy is flirting with you, the whole thing becomes that much easier.
You see, men are not as easy to read as we have been made to believe. We’ve always been told that women are mysterious, but men are simple-minded. That just is not true!
When it comes to dating, romance, and, of course, flirting, men are just as complicated and mysterious as women. It also doesn’t help that every guy is different in his approach!
So much goes into flirting that it can be difficult to decipher a joke’s intent. Was he complimenting you, teasing you, or just being a funny person?
[Read: How guys flirt – 15 subtle things guys do differently when they like you]
Flirting is a pretty simple thing off the bat, but deep down, it is sort of messy. You may think a guy is flirting with you when in fact he has a girlfriend and is just being nice. Has this happened to you? It’s a common scenario, for sure!
There are so many ways to flirt, and everyone thinks of flirting as something different. It really makes you wonder what is going on in their head. Then, if you make the wrong assumption and think they’re flirting, give them your number, and they turn you down, you feel awkward and embarrassed. [Read: The complete guide to decode guys and whether they like you or not]
Are they nervous and being quiet? Are they telling joke after joke? Or are they complimenting you or teasing you? All these things could be interpreted as flirting in some circumstances or just seen as normal, platonic interaction in others.
Not to mention, flirting doesn’t always mean what you think it does.
A guy very well may be flirting with you but only wants to talk to you and is heading home to his girlfriend. Someone could be flirting with you to meet your friend that they are more interested in!
Some other guy could be flirting just for fun. Or maybe they are actually interested in taking this conversation further.
So, knowing how to tell if a guy is flirting and spotting the right signs a guy is flirting with you takes insight, observation, and maybe even some embarrassment in a trial and error kind of way.
[Read: 15 ways to tell if someone likes you without asking them]
You might be wondering if there’s any situation in which you can know for sure and save face, i.e. not risk embarrassment! Well, not really, but you can learn how to tell if a guy is flirting with you and take your chances.
At least that way you have something to work with. You’ll have some solid ground to stand on before you put yourself out there.
What you need to realize is that every guy is different. There are some guys out there who like to flirt for the sake of it. It’s almost like a sport to them. They do it to boost their ego and make themselves feel good. They have no intentions of anything going any further. If you meet one of these guys, don’t be worried if you get the signs wrong, just be grateful you didn’t spend more time with him. [Read: Is a guy leading you on? 16 definitely signs he’s just having some fun with you]
Of course, there are always guys who are super-shy and may want to flirt with you but don’t really know how to. To them, flirting may be smiling once. Then, they wonder why you aren’t responding. But, the smile was so fleeting that you didn’t even catch it!
See, flirting can be complicated. But by arming yourself with the signs a guy is flirting with you, at least you have something to go on. [Read: 5 different types of flirting and how to pick one that works for you]
There are little gestures in the way he acts around you, the things he says, and how often he impresses you that give him away. There’s obviously the really big signs everyone knows: like trying to kiss you, offering to help you all the time, or suggesting a date. But what about the subtler hints?
Once you learn how to spot these little signs a guy is flirting with you, it’s far easier to see if he is actually into you but just doesn’t know how to say it.
If he does one or two of these things, he may just view you as a close friend or someone he likes spending time with. But If he does many, if not all, of these things, it’s very likely he’s crazy about you and desperately trying to show it.
After a fair bit of practice, flirting can be easy to spot if you know what signs to look for. So many people spend ages trying desperately to figure out if their crush likes them back or if they’re just imagining it, but there are certain things that he does that reveal how he truly feels about you.
Don’t assume that just one sign means flirt-city. You need to be able to tick off a few signs *if not several* at once to know that he’s flirting with you. Ready to find out if a guy is flirting with you? Let’s see how many you can nod along to.
Body language is one of the most subtle signs a guy is flirting with you. It isn’t something you naturally pick up on without thinking about it, but keep an eye and you’ll know for sure.
If his arms are crossed over his chest, he probably isn’t flirting. But if his body is open towards you, his arms wide, his feet are aimed in your direction, or if he is mimicking your body language, he is probably flirting. [Read: Does he like me? 18 ways to decode his body language instantly]
This is a subtle sign a guy wants to flirt with you *and get to know you better* that you’d be able to notice the very first time you see this guy when you enter a room.
When you step into a room, whether it’s a restaurant, a party, a bar, an office, or the boardroom, and a guy looks at you and raises his eyebrows just a little, that means you’ve caught not only his eye, but his fancy.
If a guy slightly raises his eyebrows and quickly puts them down even if he doesn’t know you personally, it means he likes what he sees. [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation you need to remember]
If you aren’t flirting with someone, you wouldn’t touch them, would you?
While not all physical touches like a handshake or a pat on the back are flirtatious, it is best that you know which ones are, for your own sake. A guy who is flirting with you will try to touch you. He might lightly touch your arm while you laugh at his jokes, or brush a lock of hair off your face. If he likes you, he’ll really make you feel it – by feeling you.
If he’s regularly making some amount of body contact, he’s probably trying to flirt. [Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]
Girls aren’t the only ones who are perky when they see someone they like. Even grown men can be perky in their own way. They’ll hold their head a little higher, sit up a little straighter, smile a little brighter, or laugh a little louder.
If you’re wondering how to tell if a guy is flirting with you, you’ll notice that he seems like he’s on some kind of drug as soon as he starts talking to you. He’ll be more upbeat and cheerful, and he’ll try to make you notice it.
One of the subtler ways when it comes to figuring how to tell if a guy is flirting with you is to watch where his eyes go when you talk.
If he looks at your lips constantly and almost seems lost for a second, it indicates extreme attraction. His body language suggests he thinks of kissing you or being intimate. [Read: 22 signs a guy is aroused and horny AF because of you]
A guy flirting with you is actually going to listen to you. Unlike a guy making small talk or just being polite, he will ask follow-up questions and fully emerge in the conversation.
He will look at you as you’re speaking, nod along, make agreeable noises, and actually show a lot of interest in what you have to say.
Sure, maybe he is just warm, but most likely, he is blushing because he is talking to you. If you give him a compliment on his looks or personality, or even his accomplishments, he wouldn’t blush unless he’s smitten and really happy that you noticed something special about him. [Read: 30 special compliments for guys to make them blush and make their day]
A guy who’s flirting with you doesn’t just have to look at you. Even without his face or eyes on you, you will know that he’s flirting with you if his whole body is oriented toward you.
For example, even in a crowd, you will know who is interested and flirting with you if, after smiling at you and then resuming talking with his friends, his shoulders are still pointed at you. This is because people subconsciously point their bodies in the direction they want to focus on.
So, if he constantly talks to you over everyone else, don’t be surprised! [Read: 16 giveaways guys just can’t hide when they’re attracted to a girl]
Nerves go hand in hand with flirting for most people. Flirting is a form of putting yourself out there and saying you’re interested. Whether he thinks you’re stunning or endearing or even intimidating, he is probably nervous.
If you see him sweating, or find him mumbling instead of coming up with a coherent sentence, chances are, that’s one of the signs a guy is flirting with you, even if he isn’t very good at it!
A guy who likes you will be self-conscious, but he will try to hide it. This is why he’ll fidget subconsciously. This is a type of preening behavior that is present in some form across the entire animal kingdom.
Often, they will also straighten their shirts, square their shoulders, try to stand up a little taller, or run their hands through their hair, all in the hope of looking a bit more presentable to you. [Read: What is peacocking? And why men do this as soon as they see a woman they like]
Teasing has been a go-to flirting technique since kindergarten. When someone slightly insults you in a funny way, it means they like you. We still can’t fully explain why, but we’re sure you’ve experienced it.
Usually, if you don’t like someone, you won’t go out of your way to poke fun at them.
If he mocks the way you pronounce a word, hold your wine glass, or that you love a different baseball team than him, he is likely flirting. But, if he downright insults you, that’s not flirting, that’s just being rude. [Read: 15 ways flirty friends tease and try to impress their friend]
Even when you crack jokes that aren’t that funny, he still laughs along.
You can tell the worst, lamest joke you can think of and he’ll be the only one cracking up. He laughs along because you’re incredibly entertaining to him. He simply wants to impress you.
One of the most subtle signs a guy is flirting with you is his innate drive to be territorial when he senses any competition. Even if he doesn’t realize it, he’ll position himself so he’s closer to you. And, if he’s talking to you, he’ll inch closer and closer to get your attention.
If two guys are talking to you, you’ll see them fight for your interest by drawing close and blocking out every other guy who might be competition! [Read: What is a cock block and why some guys love cock blocking]
Eye contact really says it all. We rarely look people directly in the eye when talking to them unless there is some sort of connection. For instance, you don’t make lingering eye contact with your cashier or bartender, but if you are flirting with them, making eye contact goes so much further than anything you could say! You would look into their eyes for way longer, even after you finish saying a sentence.
It’s a sign of good manners to look someone you are talking to in the eye. However, there’s a thin line between manners and manly flirting when a guy talks to you and stares lingeringly into your eyes.
He might also have a twinkle or smile in his eyes, like he’s internally giddy just to see you. Try not to be shy, look back into those eyes, and you’ll see just what we mean. [Read: What does eye contact mean to a guy? Is he a subtle flirt?]
It’s as if he can’t get enough, and he looks for little flickers of attraction in your pupils. If he holds your gaze for longer than 10 seconds, it’s because he’s totally into you. [Read: 15 obvious signs of flirting you just can’t ignore]
Oversharing when flirting is partly due to nerves and something called ‘word vomit.’ A romantic connection, even a brief one, can lead to trust.
When you are with someone you like, you feel comfortable opening up and have this natural urge to trust them. This could lead you to go into details about your childhood, your bladder problems, or even something much more personal.
If you’re looking for signs a guy is flirting with you, you might find that he just can’t stop talking, i.e. he rambles with no real direction. Basically he’s nervous and oversharing. [Read: Is he attracted to you? 16 solid giveaways to watch out for]
This is one thing a guy who likes you will say. Whether it’s genuine or not, a guy who is flirting with you wants to know more about you and will try to prolong the conversation.
He won’t be asking where you bought your dress, where you got your shoes, or how the weather is *while these may be great pick up lines*, but he’ll ask about you or about your day because he likes to hear you talk and he wants to show he’s interested. And you know, it works!
Once you get deep into a conversation, he’ll be interested in what you’re all about. Also, he’ll be delighted and animated once he finds you’re both into the same things.
It’s like you revealing you are into watching environmental documentaries is the best thing he’s ever heard—and he’ll say he likes this stuff too… whether or not he really does. [Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing on you]
There is nothing that says someone isn’t flirting with you more than them staring at their phone when you’re talking to them.
If they’re talking to you for a while and you can tell that their phone is vibrating in their pocket and they don’t seem interested in even seeing who’s calling, that’s a pretty good sign that they want to give you all their full attention instead.
Whether he humble-brags about his fancy apartment, killer car, or impressive CEO job, he is probably trying to impress you.
Someone that is trying to get rid of your attention may talk down about themselves or be uninteresting. Of course, if they’re going well over the top and bragging, it’s not going to endear you to them, but you could put that down to nerves. [Read: How to know if a guy has a big dick – 18 signs he’s very well endowed!]
The classic flirting method, of course, is a compliment. Telling you that you look pretty or that sweater makes your eyes stand out or that you have a beautiful smile is a go-to when it comes to flirting. It’s a way to break the ice and get you to notice that his behavior falls into the flirting category.
If you’re wondering how to tell if a guy is flirting with you, remember that most modern-day guys may compliment you on something beyond the physical like your taste in drinks, your work ethic, or your capacity to care for your friends or animals. [Read: How to tell what a guy really wants from you – The guy decoding guide]
If a guy spends a lot of his time saying really nice things to you, and gives you mixed signals without ever actually making a move to ask you out, he’s probably trying to flirt with you but is too shy to be forward about it.
He may say something bold like “wow, any guy who dates you would be so lucky!” and then he just carries on as if he never said anything, hoping he isn’t coming across too obvious!! [Read: How to read mixed signals from a guy and interpret his real intentions]
He always seems to show up at events you said you’ll be at, or he always wants to talk to you at parties. He ends up being anywhere that he knows you’ll be.
He pretends to walk into you often, but he always spends most of his time talking just to you. This means he makes an effort to be around you to spend more time flirting and getting to know you.
Every time you speak, or every time you look in his direction, you get met with the same smile plastered on his face. He sees you and something inside of him just beams with happiness. Sometimes, it’s just a sexy smirk he flashes you. But, it all means one painfully obvious thing. He wants you!
When a guy goes back to old-school traditions that include him being a real gent, that most definitely is one of the signs a guy is flirting with you if you notice that he doesn’t do this for other friends of his.
Whether he pulls out your chair, offers to buy you a drink, opens the door, or even makes sure you get home safely, he is showing that he is not a slob but a stand-up guy. He’s trying to impress you, so let’s hope that if you do respond and things move to another level, he keeps up his gentlemanly behavior!
He may use foul language or drool over a hot actress when he’s with the guys or even his sister, but he is on his best behavior around you.
A guy who is flirting with you and trying to impress you won’t try to make you jealous, he wants you to know his attention is on you. [Read: The subtle signs a guy likes you but is trying to hide it]
You hear from other people, or mutual friends, that he’s spoken about you, or he mentions you all the time. Sometimes it’s silly things like conversations you had, and other times, it’s detailed things like how your eyes crease when you smile.
Talking about you with mutual acquaintances may not be a sign a guy is flirting with you, but it does mean he can’t get you out of his mind! [Read: 25 surefire signs that reveal if a guy is really into you]
A guy who likes flirting with you will find an excuse – any excuse – to talk to you. If you know him, he’ll approach you with something mundane, like what you discussed the last time you were together, or that thing your boss said earlier that morning. If not, then he’ll just approach you with some well-thought-through pickup line.
Any chance to have a conversation with you, he takes. He spends a lot of his time talking to you or getting your opinion on something. At times, he even asks you obvious questions that he could easily find the answers to like “what time is it?”
Every time you turn away and look back at him, he’s staring at you. His eyes seemingly follow you around, as if you enchanted him, and whenever you walk in the room, you see his eyes light up instantly.
You may even catch him staring at you from across the room. And sometimes, he may look away quickly even if he knows he just got caught staring at you. He doesn’t mind getting caught stealing glances, after all, he wants you to know he’s interested in dating you!
A guy who flirts with you will, of course, have one goal: to see you again—even if only for a one-night stand. This is why he won’t be shy when it comes to trying to get your number or your social account details. He’ll try all the tricks in the trade to get it, whether by asking you outright or by subtly talking you into it. [Read: How to get a guy to ask you for your number – The foolproof guide]
This is pretty obvious, unless he wants to set you up with his brother, he’s hoping to ask you out.
He might not come right out and ask – if he’s nervous he might try and ask you in a different way, i.e. “I bet your boyfriend thinks …” and he’s hoping that you’ll say you don’t have a boyfriend. [Read: How guys try to find out if a girl has a boyfriend discreetly]
Whether or not he gets your number or another way to stay in touch with you, another reason why he’s keen on knowing every detail about you is that he’ll want to see you again. He’ll want to know the places you frequently go to, or if you usually hang out in the place where you both met.
He may even ask about your schedule if you met at the gym, or, if he’s a guy at work, he’ll frequently drop by your cubicle or go where you eat for lunch. Whatever it is, he’s gotta see you again.
If you’re wondering how to tell if a guy is flirting with you, pay attention to whether he tries to prolong your time together. Does he just say bye and walk away like a casual friend? If a guy is flirting with you, he’ll try to linger or continue the conversation.
And when you two finally do say goodbye, his hug may linger just a bit longer and he’ll put on his sexiest smile—maybe even wink at you—to make sure you continue to think of him. That, or he’s just so happy to talk to you and genuinely can’t help but smile when he sees you. [Read: Romantic hug vs friendly hug and how to tell the difference instantly]
If you find drunken messages at ridiculous times, it’s because he’s flirting with you. It’s not always just booty calls either. Sometimes he just drunk texts you to tell you he wants to see you, or he wants to know what you’ve done that day.
Sometimes, there is no clear sign a guy is flirting with you. You may not be able to see through his words or body language, but you just feel a connection. It could be the only sign you need.
Listen to your gut. If you get the general vibe that there’s flirting going on, the chances are he’s flirting with you and you need to be a lot more aware of what’s going on!
Make sure that you notice at least a few *the more the better!* signs before you decide that a guy is definitely flirting with you. You need at least three, but if he’s flirting, you’ll certainly notice a lot more than just three!
It’s always nice when a guy, and a cute guy at that, flirts with you. But there could be some instances when a guy flirts with you and you had no clue it was happening.
It can really be hard to tell; however, armed with these signs a guy is flirting with you, you can enhance your flirt radar and either flirt back or dismiss the advances of someone you don’t like. At least now you know what to look out for.
[Read: The revealing signs that confirm he is flirting with you]
Now that you know the signs a guy is flirting with you, remember them when you’re having a conversation with a guy you’re interested in and figure out what happens next!
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