Most of us want to do our very best to please our partners. Of course, we expect them to do the same in return, but we want to feel that we’re doing all we can to make the relationship happy and harmonious. When it comes to life in the bedroom, that means thinking outside of the box and coming up with a few sizzling moves he’s never seen before. Have you ever thought about learning how to give a lap dance?
Of course, it’s not because it’s our job to please our partner per se, it’s mainly because it makes us happy to see them happy – about anything. We actually get joy out of doing whatever we can to please them. That’s why we’re always looking for new and interesting ways to spice things up in the bedroom, too. [Read: 20 Sexy things guy like in bed but won’t ask for & why they don’t]
Now, there’s one thing that stops most people attempting lap dancing. Embarrassment.
We assume that we look stupid, but do you know what? There’s no chance of looking stupid when you’re moving in that slow and sexy way, showing your man the very best of what you’ve got. He’ll be so taken with how amazing you look that he won’t even consider how you might be cringing on the inside.
Lap dancing doesn’t make you sluttish, it makes you keen to do what you can to please your partner. It’s sexy, it’s sensual, and when done in the right way, it brings seriously explosive results your way!
If you’re super-nervous, have a glass of wine beforehand (only one) or take some deep breaths. Wear the clothes that make you feel great and do some work on the lighting in the room. This will make sure that it shows you at your very best. By setting the scene to make you comfortable, you’ll be able to focus on your moves without worrying about how you look.
When you think of a lap dance, it’s likely your mind is filled with images of a strip club with half-naked women grinding on perverted old businessmen. Am I right? Well, it’s likely that lap dances within a relationship could have been around for many years without anyone knowing, because it was in private. [Read: The girl’s guide to strip clubs and female strippers]
However, lap dancing in a club setting and being paid for it has been around since Medieval times. Women of lower classes would perform for men for a fee. Although prostitution was also linked to these types of establishments, it is where stripping and giving lap dances are most likely to have started.
That doesn’t mean you can’t take the best of it and use it to show your partner a great time.
Not all of us are magically blessed with the hips of Shakira. Some of us have to work extra hard in order to give a sexy lap dance that doesn’t make us look like an ungraceful fool and risk ruining the hot mood. [Read: Sexy strip tease 101: The right way to strip for your man]
There is a lot more strategy involved in a truly sexy lap dance than just being able to wiggle your hips to the thumping beat of a erotic song. If you want to know how to give a lap dance that he’ll never forget, you’ll need these tips.
Giving your man a heads up that he’ll be experiencing something fun and sexy that night. It’s the perfect way to initiate his sexual anticipation.
You don’t have to give him an exact itinerary for the night, but sending him naughty clues throughout the day should be enough to peak his curiosity. Even just a snapshot of a lace corner from your outfit would suffice.
You can’t give him a sexy lap dance without creating a hot and steamy atmosphere. You have to set the mood so the second he walks in the door he knows he’s in for a wild night. Keep the lights low, the music at a soft but audible decibel, and leave a single chair in an empty space so he realizes what he’s in for. [Read: How to grind for a guy sexily and discreetly]
I don’t mean that you should go spend a ton of money on some lingerie that you feel weird and uncomfortable in. You should wear something that not only you feel sexy in, but something that he really loves seeing you in – and out of. You can even wear a sundress if that’s what he really likes!
A sexy lap dance is all about power, and women hold all of the power during this sex act. So you have to become a dominant, in-charge woman. Pull him into the house, demand that he takes off his coat, and shove him onto the chair that you’ll be using for the dance. [Read: How to be dominant: 15 calm and firm ways to be the real alpha]
Since you’re now in charge, you get to make all the rules. If you don’t want him to make a peep throughout the whole thing, tell him that. If you don’t want him to touch you at all, then make sure he knows. And make sure he knows that if he breaks those rules, he’ll have to pay.
This not only makes it fun for you, but he’ll also get riled up even more when he knows he can’t even so much as touch the amazing body that’s grinding all over him and luring him in. [Read: Naughty ways to tease your man and leave him hard]
If you haven’t ever given him a lap dance before and you’re more than a little nervous, have a drink! Hell, have two and a shot on top of that. Lap dances can only be successful if you’re relaxed and willing to have a good time. If you fear that your nerves will hinder that, then drink up. You’ll be feeling relaxed and ready to dance in no time!
Add both sexy music, and music that you love dancing to. The goal of this is to ensure that you’re comfortable enough to let go and have fun. So throw on some mood music that you love so your dance moves seem genuine and effortless. [Read: The absolute lovemaking playlist guide you need]
You should start dancing while you’re still standing a couple of feet away from him. This means he can take in the whole view. Then slowly dance your way toward him with slow and seductive moves. [Read: 50 kinky ideas for a sexy relationship]
Don’t just rip all of your clothes off at once. The point of a proper lap dance is to slowly remove pieces of clothing in a way that makes him WISH he could rip them off. To do this, take off an item of clothing every couple of minutes, while never removing your eyes from his.
I know that this can be confusing since it is called a “lap” dance, but trust me. Really great lap dances do a lot of teasing, and you want to make him crave actually having you on his lap.
To do this, stand over him with your back to him. Give him some sexy visuals of your backside dancing before leaning back and touching his lap. Doing things like this will give him equal viewing time and touching time – two things that can work together to create a powerful lap dance he’ll never forget.
Some men prefer to have the lap dancer facing the other way so they can get a view of their booty. Others prefer to have a woman’s boobs right in their face. Make sure you’re gauging your man’s reactions and adjusting your body accordingly so he has the most pleasure. [Read: How to ride a man and look sexy doing it]
To get more comfortable with your moves and finding the right pace for taking your clothes off, practice when you’re alone. You can even practice in front of a trusted friend and get some of their advice if you’re feeling really anxious about it.
I can’t tell you how many friends of mine have tried giving their boyfriends a sexy lap dance only to end up breaking a chair or falling over in it. You want to ensure the chair can hold the weight of both of you. [Read: Fun sex games to play with your boyfriend]
Don’t try belly dancing like Shakira if you really don’t have much mobility in your hips. Just do what you can to feel sexy. Don’t go overboard with the music, outfit, or dancing. Simple is always best.
No matter what time of day you’re attempting to learn how to give a lap dance, you need to choose the right lighting. Candles are perfect because they’re instantly sexy from the get-go. A full-on light could be enough to make you feel self-conscious – it’s harsh and if you feel uncomfortable you’re not going to enjoy it as much. However, candles and fairy lights give you that half light that is super-flattering from the start.
Whilst there are no specific moves to remember when learning how to give a lap dance, it’s normally all in the hips. By circling your hips, jiggling them up and down, moving them back and forth, and basically doing anything in a slow manner when it comes to this part of your body, you’ll get the trick just right.
The hips are a super-sexy part of the female body. This is probably because they’re directly connected to the butt! If you want to move your shoulders in line with your hips, a little like a belly dancer, go for it. Yet, usually moving your hips means moving your butt and that’s a good place to start. [Read: How to grind with a guy sexily and discreetly]
It goes without saying that you shouldn’t choose a time when you’re going to be distracted or when one of you has to be somewhere. Your lap dance doesn’t need to have a time limit on it. Make sure that he leaves his phone in another room and yours is turned off. If one of you needs to go somewhere, that’s the wrong time and you need tor reschedule! The likelihood of your lap dance turning into something else is very high, so bear that in mind.
Don’t think so much about your insecurities! Lap dances are supposed to be fun. If you’re having a good time, then it is guaranteed that your lover is going to have an amazing time, too. So relax and just have fun with it!
The bottom line is that you can’t do anything wrong when you learn how to give a lap dance. All you need to do is move your body, remove your clothes (or just wiggle in sexy ones if you prefer), and drive him crazy. The very fact that you’re willing to do this for him is likely to be enough to start with. [Read: How to spice up the bedroom: 22 tips to set the bed on fire]
There are no rules. You don’t have to turn your back to him, you don’t have to face him, you don’t need to follow any guidelines, you just go with what feels good to you. Watch his reaction and if he looks like he’s excited, push it a little further. He’s not going to be bored, so you don’t have any worries there.
If you want to, practice in the mirror beforehand but know that the very fact you’re willing to wiggle your hips just for him, will be enough to drive him crazy.
[Read: 20 naughty ways to tease your man and leave him horny]
Giving your man a sexy lap dance that he’ll never forget is one of the best ways to get the night moving in the right direction. And these tips on how to give a lap dance the right way will ensure you look amazing, and he’ll remember the night for a long time to come.
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