The road to ever-after is riddled with loads of obstacles. Sometimes, the relationship you are in has to go through many struggles before you finally get to that stage where you can say that you are both finally happy and settled.
There will also be times when the person you are with, no matter how great he is, is in fact not really the one for you. This just proves the saying that you have to kiss some frogs before you finally find your prince.
However, this begs the question: How do you know if he is just a frog or the prince you’ve been waiting for all your life? How do you know that your current boyfriend is worth keeping, despite all the hardships you’re going through in the relationship? How do you know that you have to break up with this guy so you can finally move on with your life and hopefully have a shot at finding your prince someday?
Should I break up with my boyfriend?
To give you some perspective, here are all the signs you need to know if it’s time to throw in the towel and break up with your boyfriend to move on to greener pastures—and maybe even find your happily-ever-after just around the next bend. [Read: 25 signs and traits that differentiate a good boyfriend from a bad one]
#1 His quirks are driving you crazy. Remember when you used to find it cute that he didn’t care about how he dresses himself? Fast-forward to right now. Does his sloppy appearance now irritate you and have you thinking, “Why won’t he dress himself better?”
When you find that these not-so-great habits of his that never used to be a big deal before, are now starting to get on your nerves to the point that it makes you crawl up the wall, he may not be your Prince Charming.
#2 You bicker all the time about everything. Fighting can be healthy for couples. However, too much fighting about trivial things is bad. Constantly arguing and bickering about the littlest things stresses both of you out. And not only that, but it isn’t normal for a healthy relationship. Next, please. [Read: Secrets of a love-hate relationship and why you’re better off without it]
#3 One of you is still hung-up on an ex. Whether it’s your ex or his *or maybe one of you is still hung-up on and jealous of the other’s ex*, then what’s the point of being in your here-and-now relationship? It’s like you have an imaginary third wheel present between you all the time, a dark cloud looming over and dooming your relationship. You both deserve better than that. [Read: 13 subtle signs your boyfriend is definitely not over his ex yet]
#4 You’d rather be somewhere else. When you feel like you want to be somewhere else than with your partner, that’s a clear sign. It’s not like you are actively avoiding him, but you’ve just come to this point where you can’t stand to be around him. It’s like for the past few months or even years, you have been unintentionally choosing other things over your partner.
#5 You’re stuck in a rut. A relationship that isn’t going anywhere is doomed to fail. So if one of you is constantly putting on the brakes on developing the relationship, your connection with each other, or developing more intimacy, then the relationship won’t have a future. Ergo, what’s the point? [Read: 20 signs your relationship is oh-so-over already]
#6 You’ve broken up and gotten back together for the nth time. Breaking up and getting back together once or even twice is fine, but more than that is just an emotionally draining, dysfunctional cycle. And as such, the relationship will not go anywhere. End it.
#7 Your lives are going in different directions. You get into a serious relationship with the hopes that you and your boyfriend are building a future together. However, when you realize that your idea of a “future” is different from that of your partner’s, then you will end up just holding each other back. Your priorities are different, your visions are different, and in this case, love isn’t enough to make the relationship work for the long haul. [Read: 20 revealing signs that show you may be growing apart]
#8 You are not yourself. You may not notice this at first, but most likely, everyone close to you has. Each time you’re together with your partner, you’re a totally different person. You lose your vitality, you look stressed, or you’re like a dog with its tail between its legs. It could just be a subtle shift in your voice or the way you look a little pained when you’re around your partner, but the difference is there. If this is the case, you’re better off without your guy.
#9 You feel like you’re just going through the motions. So you’re going out on dates, kissing each other before you head off for work, have sex… but at the end of the day, you just feel like a drone. You’re not really living in the relationship. Once you become this robot going through the motions of the day-to-day relationship, then it’s time to reconsider if this is truly what you want. [Read: 15 reasons why you’re bored with the relationship]
#10 You fight wrong. Again, there’s a healthy way to fight and an unhealthy way to fight. When you keep throwing dirt *aka the past* at each other every time you fight, there’s something wrong. If either of you threatens to cheat every time you fight, that’s also terribly unhealthy. And what’s even worse: if one of you really does cheat on the other during a fight. This time, make-up sex will not cut it. You deserve better.
#11 You’ve completely lost trust. When you find yourself suspicious and jealous all the time, then that’s a huge red flag that your relationship is going downhill. It’s one thing to have some healthy jealousy, but it’s another thing to be betrayed by your partner. Whether you’re just chronically jealous or your partner is really acting shady, both of these are reasons for taking a closer look at where the relationship is really going. [Read: 20 veiled signs your boyfriend is cheating on you already]
#12 You wonder what else is out there. It’s normal to wonder what is out there from time to time, especially when you’re in a long-term relationship. However, if you find yourself always dreaming about meeting someone who is more successful, more sensitive, more reliable, or whatever else, then you might want to think about where the holes are in your relationship and whether or not they are patchable.
#13 You are not sexually satisfied. Remember when you first started dating and you couldn’t get your hands off each other? Where is that now? If you find yourself asking this question very often in your relationship, then you have to admit that somewhere along the way, the sex started to suck. In fact, you’re lucky if you have sex once a month. Sexual satisfaction is incredibly important in a relationship, and if it goes sour, then it can be one reason to just bite the bullet. [Read: 20 sexual problems in a relationship that can be easily avoided]
#14 Sex is the only good thing in your relationship. If you fight all the time or are not really emotionally connected, but the sex is good, there’s really no point in having a relationship. While this is a great setup if you’re simply after sex and physical attraction, you can’t expect it to last for the long haul.
#15 You’re banking on your partner to change. Relationships are an investment of your time, energy, and emotions. So if you’re holding out for your partner to change so your relationship will get better, then it’s like you’re just waiting for a bad investment to miraculously appreciate. Well, it’s time to rethink your options and cut your losses before it’s too late. [Read: 16 real reasons why your boyfriend’s so mean to you]
#16 You’re reading this feature looking for a sign. Need we say more? Go ahead, free yourself and dump him. There’s more—and better—fish in the sea.
You owe it to yourself not to settle for anything less than what you deserve. Life is too short to be with someone who makes you feel short-changed, alone, and unhappy. While ending a relationship is never easy, you have to summon the courage to do it, as this is the only way you can move forward and grow. After all, it’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. And who knows, you may just meet that someone who will treat you right just around the corner.
So we hope that the tips above can help you assess your relationship and see where it’s really heading. What’s important, though, is to talk to your partner first to try to resolve anything that is putting a dent in your relationship, and if things still don’t work out, then maturely make a clean break.
[Read: 22 big, early warning signs of a bad boyfriend]
The signs above are just subtle red flags that you should watch out for in your relationship. However, there are still many screamingly obvious reasons to break up with your boyfriend, such as abuse, cheating, and just plain incompatibility. Don’t let this pass; just up and leave. You deserve better than that.
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