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Tease and Denial Games: What They Are, Types & How to Play with Your Lover

If you and your partner are feeling sexually adventurous, then you should try tease and denial. Here’s what it is and some games to try in the bedroom.

Tease and Denial Games

When you’re in a relationship, it’s common for things to get a little stale in the bedroom. You get used to a position and activities that hit the spot. Why would you change what you’re doing? That being said, it’s nice to surprise your partner and switch things up from time to time. Tease and denial games are a great way to increase sexual tension and take yourself out of your vanilla routine.

Now, tease and denial games may sound a little childish, but trust us, they’re not. Tease and denial games are definitely not kids’ games. They’re rated R all the way. [Read: Sexual fantasies you should definitely try in real life]

What is tease and denial? 

Tease and denial is the sexual practice of refraining from sexual experiences in order to increase tension and erotic arousal.

One partner will prohibit the other partner from engaging in something sexual for a specific length of time, depending on how long they want to make them beg.

You might be wondering what kind of experiences are withheld. Well, it can be any favorite or desired sexual activities such as specific sexual acts or positions they really enjoy.

The person in control can deny the other one anything they feel like. This is commonly used as sex play between two people, but sometimes people do it by themselves too.

Edging as a form of total denial

There is also a sexual practice of total sexual denial. This includes totally avoiding genital stimulation to the genitals of either sex. [Read: Female orgasm denial – the step-by-step to hold back and explode]

This is often used as part of tease and denial – total orgasm control. For this, the controller keeps the other one in a heightened state of sexual arousal for a long time but won’t allow them to have an orgasm.

If an orgasm does occur after the stimulation is removed, it is not nearly as pleasurable as usual and feels like a “ruined” orgasm as opposed to a “denied” orgasm. A denied orgasm can lead to what’s called “blue balls.” 

Another form of sexual denial that can be done is the reduction or deprivation of any genital stimulation. This can include using a chastity device or another physical barrier to genital touch or achieving a full erection. [Read: Male orgasm denial – The sexy benefits of denying him an orgasm]

For men, the release of semen during the ejaculation phase might be prevented by some sort of constriction. A chastity belt is commonly used for this or a similar locking device for both men and women.

Depending on the situation, sexual arousal may still be possible regardless of the physical barriers to genital stimulation. But this depends on how the chastity belt is used.  

And depending on the relationship between the two people, the person being denied might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times without actually achieving one. This causes feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.

Tie and tease 

Some sexual situations can involve bondage, and these are typically called “tie and tease.” This is sort of an extended tease and denial game and can be a big part of erotic denial. [Read: Orgasm denial – how to withhold orgasm for ultimate pleasure]

Sometimes, partners will use dice or other games of chance to determine how long a person will be denied oral or penetrative sex from their partner.

Tie and tease activities are physically and psychologically intense. This is because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are increased by feeling helpless because the person is tied up and cannot move.

Male strap-on harness

Another thing that can be used in tease and denial is a male strap-on harness. This is like a strap-on dildo, but it’s worn by the male. It still allows him to penetrate the female, but it denies him the ability to orgasm. He might also use this in conjunction with a chastity device.

This is different from pegging because the strap-on in this situation replaces the penis of the male. It is a form of total denial if the strap-on replaces the penis throughout the whole sexual experience. [Read: Weird sex – the strangest and wildest sex acts you might want to try]

It can also be used as a form of teasing only during foreplay. If that’s how it’s used, it can prolong penetrative sex, and thus, satisfy the female just in case the male partner ejaculates prematurely.

Are tease and denial games a form of BDSM?

You might wonder if tease and denial is a form of BDSM. Well, erotic sexual denial is commonly, but not exclusively, practiced in association with BDSM and bondage. Discussions and negotiations between BDSM partners usually focus on the activities that may or may not be agreed to. 

Tease and denial is used as a form of sexual control. Erotic sexual denial can be used by the dominant in BDSM to increase their control over a submissive.

Because the submissive is kept in a state of sexual vulnerability and need, they’re more likely to comply with the dominant. If they don’t comply, it can result in additional teasing or a period of denial in addition to any other punishments the dominant wants to inflict. [Read: BDSM 101 – how to be a dominatrix in the bedroom]

As we discussed above, orgasm denial is a big part of tease and denial.

This allows the dominant to experience enjoyable and intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power. The submissive enjoys the feelings of being sexually objectified ad being submissive to the dominant.

Orgasm denial can be used to increase the submissive’s tolerance for physical stimulation. It is seen as “training” in holding back orgasm or achieving orgasm on command. This is a means of erotic humiliation that is desired by the submissive or the dominant – or both.

Erotic humiliation can also help reinforce the dominant’s power in the relationship. Orgasm denial is also done along with other forms of erotic humiliation such as forcing the submissive to do chores, crossdress, or consume bodily fluids.

These can be used as punishments or conditions for release. The dominant has total control over this situation. [Read: BDSM tips and tricks for curious first timers]

How to give tease and denial games a try with your partner

Now that you know what tease and denial is, let’s talk about how you can give the games a try with your partner.

People don’t like to admit that they need to amp up their sex lives; for them, it shows weakness. But the need to work on your sex life doesn’t mean your relationship is in the dumps. And tease and denial games are the best way to intensify your orgasms and revive your sex life.

[Read: What you need to do differently for better sex]

Firstly, teasing builds sexual tension very easily. Secondly, with denial, you can intensify the orgasm you’re about to have. Put these two together, and you’re in for an amazing ride *literally*.

Let’s step outside of our comfort zone with these delicious games.

1. Roleplay

If you’re interested in role-play, then you’ll love this game. Talk to your partner about which fantasies you want to explore.

Once you decide on one, it’s time to play it out. Now, if someone breaks character, they have to wait to achieve orgasm. Eventually, you two will get so into it, that you’ll be orgasming in no time. [Read: 15 effortlessly sexy role playing ideas for the shy]

2. Scrabble Tiles 

If you love to play Scrabble with your partner, then you’ll love this game. Incorporate Scrabble into your tease and denial game by doing this: every time your partner gets you close to an orgasm, they get to spell out a word on the Scrabble board. You switch turns every time and decide when you both want to orgasm.

3. The Counting Game

So, there has to be a dominant *teaser* and a submissive *person who is teased*. The dominant needs to say a number, for example, 30. They will count backward, and the submissive isn’t allowed to orgasm until the dominant makes it to zero.

Counting backward creates even more intense pressure because the submissive doesn’t have any control. [Read: How to be a freak in the sheets without being creepy] 

4. The Task Master

Sounds so intense, and it is. The Task Master is a game for couples who aren’t into basing the game on luck.

Instead, The Task Master is when you give your partner ten pennies, one for each of their fingers. Your partner needs to hold the pennies while you do naughty things to them, such as oral sex. Now, the challenge is if they drop a penny, you deny them the orgasm for a certain amount of time.

5. The Coin Flip

Another game with coins, but equally as fun. Who knew you could play a dirty version of a coin toss?

Well, you can! Play coin toss to determine whether or not your partner is going to orgasm. If the coin lands on ‘heads’, for example, they get to orgasm. If not, well, they’ll need to wait.

6. Code Word

Here we go. One partner isn’t allowed to orgasm until the other partner says the code word. Now, you both decide on the code word beforehand.

This can be a fun game to play while your partner is losing their mind, waiting to hear the code word. [Read: 6 ways to control your orgasms with the art of edging]

7. Red Light, Green Light

Don’t worry, there aren’t any cars involved in this game. Though it’s based on a classic kid’s game, you can add a couple of features and make it into a naughty bedroom game.

One person gets to control the lights. The red means stop, and green means go. Your partner can only orgasm on a green light. If it turns red, you must stop. [Read: 10 really naughty sex games for couples to feel incredibly horny]

8. Remote toys

The beauty of tease and denial games is that they’re applicable to long-distance couples as well. Sure, you can’t play some of the games on this list.

But, with a remote control toy, you’ll be able to make your own games with your partner. The best part is the game can happen at any time of the day.

9. Tit for Tat

Here we go. This game is the ultimate tease and denial game. Your partner can only orgasm once you have already orgasmed.

You can make the game challenging by using blindfolds, using your weak hand, or using no hands. That’ll be a true challenge. [Read: Find out how to orgasm harder and better than ever]

10. Stroking games

If you and your partner are a fan of television shows and movies, here’s your game. When a character says their catchphrase, you perform a sexual act.

But, there’s a time limit to how long you should perform the act. Make sure you pick a show or movie that repeats a particular line a lot.

11. Point system

Orgasm as a reward is a common method of denying orgasm and using a point system is a good way to track when the person gets the reward.

For this, create a list of tasks that can be sexual or not. Then, the person gets points once they complete them. If you need 20 points to orgasm, then you might need to complete 10 different 2-point tasks. [Read: 19 foreplay sex games for couples to get naughty and horny in minutes]

12. Homework

Homework is never seen as sexy, but this game is. You can orgasm, but only after you write out an erotic story with scenes and memories of your best sexual fantasy for your partner to read. The prompt should be difficult enough to give the person a challenge.

13. Levels

For this tease and denial game, you can deny orgasm a specific number of times before you or your partner is allowed to orgasm. For example, you might specify ten levels, such as 5, 10, 15, etc. before orgasm is permitted.

[Read: The best sizzling foreplay games to get the naughty night started]

Who said you needed to keep things vanilla in your bedroom? Why not take things up a notch and try some tease and denial games with your partner?

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...