You and your best pal want to sleep together? It isn’t a great idea but I’m not going to stop you. Learn the rules for sleeping with your best friend first.
I want to tell you that sleeping with your best friend is a good idea but more likely than not, it isn’t. Now, if you want to date each other, that’s different. It can end up as a successful relationship as you are already emotionally and mentally connected. But sleeping with your best friend without the intention to be with them in a relationship is tricky to work around. If you must, follow these rules for sleeping with your best friend.
Though, again, if you know the rules, you see the boundaries and pull out of the situation before it gets too much. But how are you going to do this? Good question. I’m going to show you the rules for sleeping with your best friend. You’re definitely going to need them. You’re venturing into muddy waters.
I’m not trying to scare you, but you need to know what you’re getting yourself into. So, now that I’m done lecturing you, here are the rules for sleeping with your best friend. Think twice!
#1 Why do you want to sleep with them? But seriously, why? Is this because you’re curious about what it would be like? Or you’re secretly in love with them and want them to like you back? If it’s either of those reasons then this is a horrible idea.
#2 Are there feelings involved? This is a huge no-no if you feel that they like you, but you’re into them for more than sex and vice versa. But to be honest, having sex with your best friend without emotions is almost impossible. They’re your best friend.
If you want to sleep with them, you’re attracted to them and vice versa. So, you need to check where your heart is at and make sure they’re not in love with you.
#3 Know the consequences. If you sleep with your best friend then you need to know that this can have drastic consequences to your relationship. You can’t just treat this as a “go with the flow” type situation. Check with yourself before you make any moves and think a couple steps ahead in case this doesn’t go down as planned. If not, you may end up losing the relationship entirely. [Read: 10 surefire ways to stay friends after having sex]
#4 Know the boundaries. Yes, you are best friends so technically you’re not supposed to have boundaries but now that sex is involved, you definitely need to know where the line is. Are you going to talk about other dates and people you’re interested in? Will there be sleepovers? Remember, you are already emotionally connected, so lay off any relationship-type situations.
#5 Talk before having sex. Don’t leave the conversation for after. I know it’s an awkward conversation to have, but you’re going to have sex with this person so it needs to happen.
#6 Keep this on the DL. Like, don’t tell anyone, really. I know you may want to tell people who you’re hooking up with, but in this case, people aren’t going to understand why you’re doing it if you have no intention of being with them, especially since they’re your best friend. Also, it allows people to look at your relationship in a different light and to be honest, it’s none of their business what you do behind your bedroom door.
#7 Be honest about your emotions. If you’re feeling that you’re catching feelings for them, you need to tell them. Remember, they’re your best friend. They’ve seen you at your worst, at your best and everywhere in between. So, you have to be honest with them. If you hide your emotions, it’s going to make things a lot worse for you in the long run. [Read: A no-regrets guide to sleeping with a friend and doing it right]
#8 Don’t expect anything. But literally, expect nothing. Don’t think that they’re going to become this changed person and fall for you to have a serious relationship. Remember, if you expect this then you shouldn’t be sleeping with them. They agreed to have sex with you and that’s about it. So, keep the expectations extremely low, and it prevents you from developing emotions.
#9 Have safe sex. If this was someone you’re seriously seeing then wearing a condom may not be necessary *though you should use some form of contraception at all times*, but this person isn’t someone who’s going to be long-term. Make sure that you’re STD-free and that they are as well. Wear a condom, you don’t want to have a baby with someone who was meant to be a fling. [Read: How to have safe sex every way possible]
#10 Continue seeing other people. What usually happens is that we stop seeing and looking for other people when we’re sleeping with a friend. Instead, we attach and close ourselves off from the rest of the dating world. But this person isn’t your partner, they’re just someone you’re sleeping with for the time being. So, keep going on dates with other people.
#11 Tone down the jealousy. Listen, you can’t become upset because they met someone else. Your friends-with-benefits is not an actual relationship. So, if they meet someone else, you have to be okay with it. If you can’t handle it, then cut it off and stop sleeping with them. You cannot be jealous in this situation.
#12 No sleepovers. Like I said, yes, you’re their best friend, but you need to have boundaries. Sleeping over at their house and cuddling in their bed isn’t sending clear “I only want sex” signals. You’re confusing things. So, after sex, hang out a bit and then go home. You have your own bed so use it.
#13 Enjoy it. It’s sex, it’s supposed to be fun and intimate so enjoy every second of it. Make sure to always check in with yourself and see where your emotions are, but if everything is going well, just enjoy the moment with them. This is your chance to let go and have mind-blowing sex. [Read: 25 friends with benefits rules to remember]
#14 Think about it twice. This is your best friend that you want to have sex with, remember that. So, before you jump into bed with them, you need to really think about this. Take some time, there’s no need to rush. The last thing you want is a ruined friendship. Is having sex with them really worth the risk?