Your feelings towards your friend have changed. You’re confused and not sure what to do. Learn how to seduce a friend with some risk taken out.
Friendships are precious and wonderful, but sometimes that friendship turns into something else entirely. Picture Monica and Chandler from Friends as one shining example! It’s vital that you understand one firm piece of reality—learning how to seduce a friend comes with a huge risk of rejection and total destruction of your friendship.
You have no guarantee that your friend will react in the way you want, while I hope for your sake that they do, if they don’t, is that something you can come back from?
On the other hand, if you don’t go for it, you’ll never know, right?
It’s a difficult one, but if you really decide to take your chances and figure out how your friend feels about the possibility of turning your friendship into something else entirely, plan it and move through the phases carefully.
Understanding how to seduce a friend successfully also depends upon the friend themselves. We’re all different after all, tailor your approach to the personality concerned. You know them best, after all!
Learning how to seduce a friend comes down to careful moves
There is no solid route towards learning how to seduce a friend. It’s really about knowing the steps and working them into your days in a way which isn’t too obvious at first then builds up into what can only be described as a crescendo.
Be totally sure this is really what you want before you begin. Understand that you are taking a huge risk. Be prepared for the real possibility of rejection. Your friendship may survive it. It might be something you both look back on a few years down the line and laugh about, but it might also be ruined forever.
Speaking of confidence, that’s something you should exude. Once you’re sure of your decision and when you’re learning how to seduce a friend, show confidence! It could be the thing which wins your friend over to your way of thinking. Confidence is attractive; if you’re turning on the charm, you’re also turning on the confidence, and vice versa.
The best approach is a slow one. Sow the seeds in a subtle way to begin, almost as if you’re hinting but not being totally clear. Leave them wondering what you mean, and let the idea settle in their mind. It will help them to think about whether or not you’re flirting or whether they’re imagining it. Ironically, this will also get them thinking about whether turning your friendship into something else could ever something they could get on board with. [Read: How to accidentally kiss a friend and get away with it]
Start subtle. Yes, you’re learning how to seduce a friend but you’re not going for full on sexy moves. Work slowly here to avoid scaring your friend away. If you’re full on straightaway, it’s going to be too much of a shock. You’re not giving them the time to think about the idea in their own mind. You’re not giving the seed enough time to plant itself and grow.
In some ways you’re playing the long game here; however, don’t leave it too late. How will you feel if you’re halfway through learning how to seduce a friend and they suddenly meet someone and start dating? Once the seed is sown, keep watering it, and that will keep your friend’s mind in your direction, even if they’re not sure what’s going on! [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 15 ways to tease them without making things weird]
While you’re flirting in this subtle and gentle way, pull back if you sense that they’re starting to become uncomfortable. Choose your moments carefully, and if your friend is having a hard time of it, pull back and just be the friend you’re supposed to be.
Eye contact is an easy flirting technique you can use. It comes with an instant excuse if you’re called out on why you’re holding their gaze. You can simply say that you’re admiring their shirt or their new hair color or some other compliment that you can carefully weave in there at the same time. Clever, right? [Read: A complete guide to ask a friend to be your friend with benefits]
Always watch for your friend’s reaction
Whatever move you make, gauge their reaction carefully. Do they seem uncomfortable? If so, pull back once more. Do they seem confused?
In the end, it could be that you need to sit down and have a conversation. Take time to explain your feelings. This should be the last resort in many ways. If your flirting isn’t working or causing them confusion or distress, come clean or abandon your plan altogether.
Again, it really depends on whether you feel they’re going to be happy or horrified about what you’re suggesting.
This is the problem with learning how to seduce a friend. You know them well as a friend, but you don’t know them as a lover or as a sex buddy. They may be totally different in that situation. As a result, you can’t be sure that they’re going to be amenable to it. Even if they are, will it last? Are you prepared for that possibility? How would you feel if your friendship was totally ruined because you simply didn’t get along well as lovers after giving it a shot?
Let’s give a Friends example here once more. Joey and Rachel tried it and it didn’t work out, but they remained friends afterwards. Could you do that? Could you be strong enough to say “hey, we tried” and forget about it, or would there always be some lingering feeling or even blame?
You simply can’t be sure. As a result, you must be prepared for all eventualities.
Your move could be anything you want it to be. It could be the conversation already mentioned. It could be going in for a kiss or dropping a huge hint that simply cannot be ignored. Be obvious and it needs to be the final move you make before deciding whether to continue on down the road you’ve started. If not, call it a day and go back to being just friends.
Understanding how to seduce a friend is a learning curve. It should be attempted carefully to avoid damaging your relationship forever. Just remember to play it safe and subtle, so you’re always able to evaluate your status quo and back away if things get weird.