17 Things Guys Think About After You Sleep with Them for the First Time

Sex is a confusing topic. Are you moving too fast, are you moving too slow? You might also be wondering what do guys think after you sleep with them.

What Do Guys Think after You Sleep with Them for the First Time

When you sleep with your crush for the first time, after a few dates or maybe just one, you’re wracked with questions and confusion for hours and possibly even days afterwards. But, what do guys think after you sleep with them for the first time?

Sex can certainly confuse everything. You might be friends with someone, and everything is fine. Then, one night you get a little drunk, a little flirty, and end up sleeping together. From that point on, everything is weird and a little confusing. Your friendship seems a little awkward. Of course, sex with a friend doesn’t have to be to be confusing, but it often is.

This is something I decided to put to my male friends. I was so intrigued by the entire subject that I thought it would be best to get a male take on it. You might be surprised by a few of their responses. [Read: How to make sex the first time a little less awkward]

What do guys think after you sleep with them?

So, I asked my guy friends this question and received a few mixed answers, but the most common are outlined below. What do you think about them? These might not be the things you’d expect to come up on a list of what do guys think after you sleep with them!

1. They just can’t believe how lucky they are

Firstly, most guys are pretty happy about the fact that they got you into bed. That’s always going to be the first thing they think. So, what do guys think after you sleep with them for the first time?

“I can’t believe how lucky I am!” That’s basically it. You might be panicking that they’re judging you or not, but that’s quite unlikely to be in their mind at this point, or if ever. So, from that response, we should all chill out a little and enjoy the moment more! [Read: How to make sex more enjoyable *Hint* It’s not a textbook answer]

2. They panic about whether you want a commitment or not

Rather unsurprisingly, the second most common response was that guys panic that having slept with you once, you’re going to want a full-on commitment and relationship.

Of course, that’s probably not the case. Maybe you just wanted a good time for yourself, or maybe you’re happy to see how things go.

They don’t see that side of it, and there is a fear that you’re going to want more than they’re ready for at this time. That doesn’t mean that they’re never going to be ready, but you know, give them a few more weeks! My take on that? Sure, think about what you want, but go with the flow a little and relax. [Read: Should you have meaningless sex? Is it right for you?]

3. They wonder if you enjoyed yourself

What do guys think after you sleep with them? Did she enjoy it? Did she come? Was she impressed? The guy is likely to be completely preoccupied with wondering whether you enjoyed yourself because that reflects directly on his skills between the sheets!

The fact that he’s wondering whether you liked it or not is a good thing, because at least it shows that he’s keen to give you pleasure too. Some guys aren’t so bothered about this! [Read: Why some guys distance themselves after having sex – Here’s why]

4. They wonder if you’ll tell your friends and how complimentary you’ll be

Is she going to tell her friends? What will she say? Again, he’s paranoid about whether you liked it and what you’re going to tell your friends.

A male friend of mine said this was the most important thing to him, because he knows that girls talk to their friends about basically everything.

I reassured him that’s not actually the case all the time. Then I considered it for a minute and realize that he’s probably right! So, if you’re wondering what do guys think after you sleep with them, it’s probably more about his pride and performance than anything else. [Read: 15 sexual questions to ask a guy that’ll reveal what he’s like in bed]

5. They probably don’t make as big deal of it as you do

Reality check here. Yes, sex is a big deal to guys but probably not in the same way as you. You might dream about the beginning of something special and spend the rest of the following days thinking back over what happened. Your guy probably isn’t quite so obsessed with it. [Read: How to be a perfect tease and keep him interested after having sex]

Yes, they’re obsessed with what you thought and how they did, but they’re probably not making the same deal out of it as you. Don’t take it personally. I’m assured it’s just a guy thing! [Read: How to stop overthinking and create strategies for more peace] 

6. They’re not at all bothered about your reputation

If you slept with him quickly, e.g. after the first or second date, you might be worried that he thinks you’re easy. Of course, we all know that women are allowed to do whatever they want with their sexuality. It doesn’t mean a thing, but that doesn’t stop us from worrying what the guy thinks.

If you want some good news, what guys think about after you sleep with them has zero to do with your reputation. He doesn’t care. He’s just over the moon that he scored!

7. They really aren’t thinking about your stretch marks or lumpy bits

I asked my guy friends if they thought much about a girl’s body. More good news is coming your way! They didn’t care at all.

Again, they’re just happy that you chose them and got to enjoy themselves with a wonderful woman. Their words, not mine! So, your body hangups really are in your own head. [Read: 15 things girls do in bed that turn most guys off completely]

8. They’re wondering if you’re thinking about someone else

Guys can be insecure sometimes too you know! He’s wondering whether you’re thinking about your ex or someone else that you have your eye on whilst you’re in bed with him. Of course, he wants you to be thinking of only him, but he can’t help but wonder whether your mind is elsewhere.

The best way to reassure him? Moan his name a few times and that should let him know that the only person you’re thinking of right at that moment is him. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else and not feel guilty]

9. They want to tell their friends

Sorry, but it’s true! You might think that girls are the only ones who gossip, but you’re wrong! Guys gossip too, they just gossip about different things. I have it on very reliable authority that when a guy sleeps with someone, they want to tell their friends and brag about their ability to score.

The good news? They probably won’t reveal your identity – they’re not all bad!

10. They’re wondering whether to ask you to try something freaky

Guys have fantasies too and they’re questioning whether it’s a good idea to mention something they want to try or not. They’re trying to figure out whether you look like you’d be up for something different or not.

That’s an interesting one, don’t you think? I mean, if you want to get a little freaky, go for it, but most people don’t attempt the kinky on the first occasion, do they? Maybe I’m wrong! [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime]

11. They’re busy patting themselves on the back

If you’re busy worrying that he’s judging you for sleeping with him on the first date or whatever date it is, the chances are slim.

The reason? He’s far too busy patting himself on the back for a job well done and he can’t quite believe that he actually managed to get you into bed. Even the most seemingly arrogant guys out there still give themselves a congratulatory nod after they’ve done the deed.

12. They’re wondering whether you had an orgasm

Some guys just assume that they have the sexual prowess to make their partner orgasm ten times in a night. However, most guys are a little more down-to-earth than that.

He’s probably wondering whether you got yours or not and how many times. He might even think back over it a few times to try and identify when the sweet spot might have happened! [Read: 22 common reasons why a woman fakes an orgasm in bed]

13. They’re wondering whether they should stay over or leave

If he’s at yours, he’s probably obsessing over whether he should just sleep there and wake up with you or whether he should leave. He’s also wondering how he can do that without appearing rude.

If you’re at his, he’s probably deciding whether it’s a good idea for you to stay or not. If you’re both somewhere else, well, he’s probably confused about what to do next!

14. They’re wondering whether they came too fast or not

Some guys can’t hold it in when they’re with someone new and exciting. He’s probably panicking about whether he came too fast or not and what you thought about it.

This is probably the number one thing that guys worry about when it comes to sex so it’s bound to pop into his mind, and be one of the things on the ‘what do guys think after you sleep with them’ list. [Read: How to last longer in bed – 34 sex secrets for men to go long and hard]

15. They’re suddenly wondering about safe sex

I know, this should be something everyone worries about beforehand, but whether you were 100% safe or not, he’s going over it and just checking in his mind that nothing could have gone wrong.

Did the condom split? Are you on the pill? Is there anything that could get either of you into trouble here? Let’s hope you were both responsible and none of this is a problem!

16. They’re wondering when it’s acceptable to jump in the shower

Basically, guys don’t like being sticky and all sweaty after sex so he’s probably wondering how long is an acceptable amount of time to get up and go for a shower without offending you. Of course, it might be that you’re thinking the same. Maybe you could share the shower?

17. They’re wondering when they can do it again!

Truthfully? They’re probably wondering when they can do it again. Sex to a guy is fun and enjoyable. It’s not quite as heavy as we make it out to be. Sure, be careful and responsible. But when you tick those boxes, isn’t sex just fun-filled and a generally happy time? [Read: How to have a one night stand: Your guide to hooking up right]

I say we all take that mindset from this point on. See sex through the same eyes as a guy who can’t believe he actually managed to get someone like you into bed!

We panic so much about what people think. When you get into bed with someone, you panic even more about everything. Do they think I’m easy? What does he think about my thighs? Is he looking at my stomach?

None of these things are in his head at all, he’s just completely over the moon that he’s actually having sex in the first place. [Read: How to tell a guy you want to have sex with him without feeling slutty]

Perhaps that means we should all lighten up a little and actually enjoy the moment. Let’s be honest, so many hang ups and worries can spoil what should be a carefree and enjoyable time. We become so stressed that we don’t enjoy it at all.

Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable *when done responsibly, of course*. But we’re all too busy overthinking it. From what my guy friends told me, they’re not actually thinking about anything other than how great it is, so maybe you should do the same!

[Read: How to get rid of sexual insecurity and improve your sex life]

What do guys think after you sleep with them? Are they judging you? Give the guy some credit… chill out a little. The truth is that he can’t believe someone like you actually gave him a chance!

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
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