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31 Secrets to Get Your Friend to Like You & Fall in Love Before Asking Them Out

Are you crushing and wondering how to get your friend to like you? Don’t worry! It’s not as hard as you might think! These tips will help. 

How to Get Your Friend to Like You

There’s not much that’s more frustrating than a friend who just doesn’t like you back. You’ve been their friend for what seems like ages, but you just can’t get any further than being friends with them. Knowing how to get your friend to like you isn’t something that comes naturally. In fact, not many people know how to do it.

That’s why there’s this magical, irritating thing called the friend zone.

It’s basically a nice little place where someone puts you when they want you in their life but don’t want to date you. So if you like them, you’re kind of screwed. [Read: Friend zone or interested? Ways to decode your crush’s mind]

Being in the friend zone isn’t always bad

As much as it seems like the worst place to be when you have strong feelings for someone, it’s actually a good thing. It’s much easier to learn how to get your friend to like you when you have frequent access to them. You know them the best, and you’re always right there.

This gives you so many opportunities to squeeze your way past that friendship barrier and get them to like you. Don’t look at this as a curse when it’s really a huge blessing. [Read: Naughty ways to get out of the friend zone in no time]

How to get your friend to like you when you’re stuck in the friend zone

It can be very irritating. You’re putting your feelings on the line, not to mention your friendship. If you want the payout to be big, you have to be willing to risk those things.

Dating your friend isn’t easy. You have to think about so much more than if they’ll just say yes or no.

If you’re truly ready to go for it, and you want to know how to get your friend to like you, follow these tips. [Read: How to be a good friend]

1. Stop letting them talk about their crush

Or about anyone they used to or currently like. When you become their vent, and they feel as though they can talk to you about their feelings for other people, you’re cutting off their ability to see you as a potential partner.

Instead, you need to change the conversation or even tell them you’re not a fan of hearing about the people they have crushes on. This also sends the message that you hope to be one of those people someday. [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease them without being weird]

2. Don’t talk about other people you like around them

If you like your friend as way more than just a friend, you need to stop making them think you like other people. You might just do this as a way to hide how you feel, but it just makes them think that you truly are into other people.

How are you ever supposed to get them to like you when they’re under the impression you’re into someone else? Keep quiet if you think other people are attractive.

3. Compliment them in new ways

You probably have your standard friendship compliments that they’ve heard a hundred times. Tell them something else. Talk about how you think their hair looks amazing or how incredible they are for landing that promotion.

Doing this flatters them and also shows them that you’re seeing them in a new light. When the compliments change, they’ll pick up on the fact that your feelings have changed, too. [Read: 50 very cute and flirty things to say to your crush and get them thinking of you]

4. Flirt!

A huge difference between friends and people who are dating is flirting. If you’re not flirting with your friend, you’ll never break down that friend zone wall.

You need to start sending the signals that you like them, and there’s no better way than flirting.

Start making cute jokes, complimenting them in better ways, and moving in closer. Increasing intimacy is essential if you really want to know how to get your friend to like you. [Read: How to flirt by subtle touch without making it obvious]

5. Show them your sensitive side

If your friend has never seen you being cute and romantic, how will they ever be able to look at you that way? Show them that you can be sensitive and adorable. Tell them something you’ve never told anyone else.

Opening up and showing them something very personal can help them see you in a new light. [Read: 20 questions to ask to show her your sensitive side]

6. Don’t spend too much time together

You can’t spend every waking moment together and expect anything to change. You need to separate and slow down.

This way, they’ll be extra excited to see you, and they can see what life would be like without you.

Make them come to you. If they miss you, they’ll see how much they truly need you in their life. [Read: How to make someone realize they’re losing you]

7. Look good

As much as we all like to say we’re not shallow in that way, physical attraction is essential to a healthy relationship. So, start dressing nicer and looking more put together. They’ll definitely notice. [Read: How to look sexy, be sexy, and feel sexy without trying too hard]

8. Sit closer than you normally do

This is all about closing the distance between the two of you and climbing over that friend zone wall.

If they sit on the couch, sit right next to them. Getting closer is a huge way of showing how much you like them. [Read: How to know when to give someone space]

9. Touch them more

Physical touches increase intimacy a lot. You really need to be actively closing that distance and showing them that you can be sweet and gentle, too.

Next time you see each other, give them a hug. If you’re a guy, put your hand on the girl’s lower back. Ladies, touch him on the arms and shoulders when he makes you laugh.

It’s those little touches that’ll ignite something new in your friendship and will slowly turn into something more. [Read: 20 types of physical touches and what they mean]

10. Treat them as a significant other and not a friend

Fake it ‘til you make it, right? Act as though they’re already your partner. Do all the sweet and adorable things you’d do for someone you’re dating.

Showing them this side of you and letting them know that they could have even more of it is a perfect way to get them to start liking you. [Read: How to accidentally kiss a friend and get away with it]

11. Set boundaries

This isn’t what you thought you’d need to do, right? Most people think that removing the boundaries will make the person more into you, but that’s not the case.

You need boundaries to show them that you’re not going to be there for every single emotional need they have. If they talk to you about other people, stop it. You don’t have to be rude, but don’t reply to those texts or take those calls.

Start creating boundaries between friends and potential lovers. [Read: Crucial steps to setting healthy boundaries]

12. Don’t be clingy

When we’re insecure, we become clingy and needy toward the person we have feelings for because we don’t want to lose the person. It totally makes sense.

However, if you want to know how to get your friend to like you, you should remember that it doesn’t work the way you think it will. Instead, your clingy behavior gives the person a red flag, alerting them that even if they did have feelings for you, you’re annoying.

13. Confidence is key

If you move the friendship into a romantic relationship, this person will need to see you as someone they can be intimate with. Work on your confidence. Show them you’re worth it.

If you act like this person’s doormat rather than standing your ground, you won’t get anywhere. It’s easy to throw your confidence to the side when you like someone, as you obviously want them to be into you. [Read: How to be confident – 28 life hacks to transform your future forever]

14. Show them that you know what they want

This is the big advantage that you have in the palm of your hand. You know what they’re looking for in a partner.

It’s not easy to transition from genuine friendship to an intimate relationship, but you know what this person is looking for in a partner. It’s up to you to use your knowledge and showcase those attributes. [Read: Friend zone hacks to get your friend to like you more]

15. Leave some mystery

Of course, they know everything about you, but you can still add some mystery to the friendship. What makes people curious about others? When you’re not an open book.

Hang out with them but for shorter periods of time. Don’t invest your entire day in them. Don’t always tell them what you’re doing or who you’re seeing.

16. Don’t try to become an asshole

You don’t want to be just friends with them. We get it. But this doesn’t mean that you should treat them poorly because you’re not getting what you want. Don’t become an asshole! If you feel resentment toward them, it’s time to tell them how you feel. [Read: Naughty ways to get out of the friend zone in no time]

17. Create competition

There may not be actual competition, but it doesn’t matter. You need to create competition and show them that other people want you.

This makes a person re-evaluate their decision and think about you in a different light. Maybe they won’t like seeing you with another person and will make a move.

Sure, it’s a little sneaky, but it works. [Read: How to impress your crush – 25 tips to steal their heart effortlessly]

18. Pay attention to their response

Now, be sure you pay attention to their response, or you’re wasting your time. If you’re stuck in la-la land and not paying attention to the signs, then what’s the point?

See how they react when you flirt with them or when you touch them playfully. Do they pull back? Do they flirt back? This is crucial to see if it’s worth pushing the friendship forward or not.

19. Question whether or not this is what you want

Sometimes, we have an image of someone, and then when we get them, the sizzle goes away. We realize this isn’t what we want but something we want to conquer.

Before you make any moves, be sure that this is because you truly have feelings for them rather than it being ego-driven. [Read: I’m in love with my best friend – what next?!]

20. Talk to them about deep, meaningful things

You can’t build a deep connection if all you ever talk about is what you had for dinner the night before. You need to connect on a deeper level if you want to know how to get your friend to like you.

Come up with conversation topics that are more than just casual conversation. Make your friend think of you when you they go home at night. The more they can connect with you on a deeper level, the more they’ll start to like you. [Read: How to emotionally connect with someone and feel closer]

21. Turn up the charm

There’s no reason to hold back. Start charming them. If you get them to think about you having feelings for them, they’ll start to wonder if they feel the same.

That can kick-start some intense feelings for you, so turn on the charm. Tell them how great they look and how funny they are.

It’s simple enough, but it could mean a lot more than you realize. [Read: How to be charming – 15 adorable habits of really likable people]

22. Start asking more about their family

You have to start caring more about their life outside of you, just like you would a significant other. Ask about their family. Pay attention to their moods, and figure out if their home life is fun.

Go over there and chat with their parents for a little bit. When you’re good with their family, they’ll start to imagine what it would be like to have you around all the time, and that can make them start to like you. [Read: How to get someone to like you more effortlessly]

23. Show an interest in their hobbies

You have to be involved in their lives in more ways than just a friend would. If they see that you care about things like their hobbies and favorite activities outside of your friendship, it’ll mean something special to them.

24. Tell them that you have feelings for them

If all else fails, just tell them. Chances are that if you’ve done all of the above things, they already know you like them as more than a friend. Sometimes, there’s just nothing more that you can do, and they might not like you back.

If this happens, just separate yourself from them for a little bit so you can get over them. This distance might actually make your friend realize that they like you as more than a friend, too. [Read: How to be just friends with someone you love without losing your mind

What to do if you can’t get out of the friend zone

So you’ve tried everything above to get your friend to like you. If you are still stuck in the friend zone, that can really stink.

You’re probably feeling down on yourself, but try not to feel that way. Here are some things you can do to make yourself feel better. [Read: How to get out of the friend zone through text one text at a time]

1. Get a makeover

Why not change up your look? Get a new haircut, add some highlights, or try a completely new color.

The makeover isn’t so you can change your friend’s mind. This is all about you!

Try a new look and get adventurous. You’ll be a new you and feel great! [Read: How to be more attractive – 31 ways to play up your best features]

2. Start working out!

Why not start taking care of yourself better?

We always feel better about ourselves when we look and feel good. Plus, we should always try to be healthier anyway, so why not start now?

3. Go on dating apps

It’s time to forget this friend as anything more. You need to accept that it’s never going to happen, at least in a romantic way, and that’s okay!

You need to find someone else that you can fall head over heels for.

Try dating apps. That’s a great way to meet new people. Take them seriously, and don’t just do it for amusement or to pump up your ego.

You want to actually find someone whom you will be a good match with. [Read: The 16 best hookup apps you can use this year – what do you want in a hookup right now?]

4. Hang out more with your other friends

Maybe you put all your eggs in this friend’s basket. You hung all of your hopes on the possibility that they might like you back, and in doing so, perhaps you’ve ignored some of your other friends.

Get back out there with them and party! Distract yourself. Go do new things so you won’t be thinking about the friend who doesn’t like you back.

Have so much fun with the other friends that you don’t even think about any rejection you may have experienced. [Read: 40 ways to have fun with friends]

5. Raise your self-esteem

When a friend doesn’t like us back, it can take a toll on our self-esteem. We wonder what’s wrong with us. Am I not attractive enough? Is it my personality? Why am I not good enough?

There is nothing wrong with you! You’re awesome.

Make a list of all the great qualities you have. No, this is not narcissistic. It is an act of self-love. Writing down the list makes you realize how great you are and how stupid your friend is for not feeling the same way about you. [Read: How to make anyone like you – 25 ways to draw people closer to you]

6. Don’t take it personally

It’s easy to take this personally, but it’s not about you. It feels like it, but it’s really not.

Think about it. Your friend likes you as a person, right? If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be friends with you to begin with.

But everyone has a “type.” Maybe you naturally have blonde hair and blue eyes, but your friend really prefers someone with dark hair, skin, and eyes. It’s just their “thing.”

You can’t change your genetics! It’s not about you. It’s just that they think you’re not their “type” for some reason. [Read: How to stop being so sensitive about everything all the time]

7. Understand that it’s probably for the best

Don’t get caught up in the “what ifs.” Stop trying to figure out if maybe one day they will change their mind. You can’t control that.

Whether or not they ever think of you in a romantic way is not your business. Just assume it won’t happen and that it’s for the best.

Now you can make space in your life for someone who is perfect for you. You might have thought this friend was the one, but they clearly aren’t. That’s a good thing because now you have the opportunity to find your perfect match!

Not every friend will like you as more than just a friend

It’s a hard reality to come to terms with, but it’s true. No matter how much you try, your friend just might not like you back. There’s nothing you can really do in this case. It’s not like you can force someone to think of you in a romantic way.

That’s something you need to keep in mind going forward. The truth is, you shouldn’t want someone who doesn’t really like you. If they aren’t romantically interested, it’s their loss.

[Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing on you]

Learning how to get your friend to like you back can be especially difficult if you’ve been friends for a very long time. Maybe you’ll succeed, but maybe you won’t. Whatever happens, keep a positive attitude because that’s all you can do.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...