A guy best friend may seem like perfect company for every girl, but are they worth the effort? Find out why guy best friends are nothing but trouble. By Chester Bloom
Most girls have always wanted a guy best friend.
Having a man who isn’t really your man as your arm candy is fashionable and safe.
Every girl wants one and can’t wait to have one.
Guy best friends may help you understand the world of men better, and may even help you devise the perfect way to snag a smoldering hunk for yourself.
Everything may seem just perfect with a male BFF in your arm, but is it really as simple as it seems or are you just wearing those murky rose tinted glasses again?
Guy best friends and your life
First off, men aren’t built to blend in with women and gossip about last year’s fashion and fancy detox diets. They’re out there in the world to sow their wild oats.
So even if you do find yourself in the company of a great guy who seems to have nothing but squeaky clean intentions in mind, be wary.
It may all have started with a great conversation where both of you suddenly realize that you have a lot in common with each other.
You feel great around him and he seems to like you too. And the funny thing is that neither of you feel anything tingling around the loins. It’s all warm and fuzzy in an extremely platonic way.
It’s not time to celebrate though. You may have found yourself a guy best friend, but in all probability, you could have just found a guy who’s either too timid or confused with his intentions. No guy likes to be in the friend zone with an attractive girl unless he’s swinging the other way.
But nevertheless, even if you did find a straight guy who hasn’t shown any interest in you sexually, there are a few things you need to remember.
Men can’t cuddle without an erection
Girls love a bit of body contact with their friends all the time. Men don’t. You may love to hold your guy best friend’s hands or cuddle in now and then while watching a movie on the couch. Each time a guy does that with any girl, especially if hands are in close proximity to any of your girly parts or his boy parts, it’s hard not to have an erection. Can you handle that? Would you really be comfortable knowing that you’re arousing a best friend each time you get comfy with him?
Love gets into the picture
Love may not blossom on the very first conversation both of you share. But with all the late night conversations and touchy feely time together, love is bound to enter the picture one way or the other.
You may end up falling in love with him, or he may end up falling in love with you. Now it’s not necessary for either of you to reveal any secret attractions to the other person, but when love enters a friendship, could there ever be an easy transition into love unless it’s mutual? [Read: How to date a friend]
If love doesn’t, sex does
If either of you don’t end up falling in love with each other, sex enters the equation. Have you ever caught your guy best friend staring at your cleavage or running his hands way longer than necessary after a hug? He may seem like great company to hang out with while getting drunk on a Saturday night, but if you wake up with his hands inside your bra, odds are it wasn’t placed there by accident!
It’s natural for two people of the opposite sex to get attracted to each other. Sexual attraction is easy to understand, but best friends of the opposite sex, well, that’s the confusing part. [Read: How to have sex with a friend]
New troubles with a new boyfriend
Let me assure you, your new boyfriend will hate your guy best friend right from the start. He may never understand the relationship you and your BFF share. Face it, you don’t understand it yourself. You just think you do.
You may try to convince your new boyfriend that your BFF is not sexually interested in you at all, but there’s no way your new man will ever be convinced of that. And the sneaky part here, your guy best friend may actually start liking the attention he’s getting out of the complication. Your friend’s urge to feel better about himself may even convince him to create scenarios to mess your relationship further, if only to make himself appear like the better man. It’s inevitable, every guy likes to be known as the best man material.
A straight guy isn’t interested in you?
Now you may want your best friend to be just that, but somewhere deep within, you’d know the force of nature. Boys like girls. And they’re supposed to.
So when a man who’s your best friend gets attracted to several other women, some of whom don’t look half as good as you, it’ll always make you wonder why he doesn’t like you in the first place.
You may have wanted a best friend to begin with, but as the relationship grows and he finds himself getting attention from many other women, you’ll start desiring him a lot more, and yes, in ways that are more intense than just friends.
And when you find that he doesn’t show the slightest interest in you, it’ll hit you on your face like an insult. And whether you like it or not, there’s a big chance that it’ll also damage your self esteem and confidence in attracting the opposite sex, especially if he’s a sexy guy who’s obviously straight.
You’ll drive away a lot of guys
No guy likes dating a girl who’s got a guy best friend. A few guys have been there and got burnt. All other guys have heard the story. No guy can ever have a happy and insecurity-free relationship with a girl who has a guy best friend. Confusions, jealousies and hidden feelings always crop up and complicate the relationship. [Read: How to make a jealous boyfriend not-so-jealous]
And what’s worse, some guys may just assume you’re already in a relationship with this guy and avoid even bothering to hit on you. After all, the more single a girl appears to be, the more desirous she becomes in the eyes of all men around her.
Guy best friends are just a complication
A guy best friend may seem like fun to begin with, but the relationship never stays the way you wish it could at the beginning. With so many odds to work with, you may end up falling in love with each other, complicating and worsening relationships with other lovers, or just end up experiencing a painful case of unrequited love. There are many other things that can happen too, and not too many of them are happy endings.
[Read: What is unrequited love?]
So before you grab a guy’s hand and exchange BFF string bracelets, think twice. Do you really want to mess with evolution’s master plan of bringing a man and a woman closer only for sex?
I don’t think so. [Read: Get a guy to kiss you when you want him to!]
Guy best friends could seem like a fancy fashion statement. But at the price they come with, it’s a lot easier to just date them and get them out of your way to happiness.
We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!
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