Some men have good manners, and some are just flirty. Then there are those who take time to make you feel special. How do you know the difference?
Being on the dating scene can be a lot of work, especially if you’re single and looking. Men can be so confusing; as for you, you don’t want to come off as too eager or assuming.
Try on this scenario for size: you meet this cute guy at a bar and he seems genuinely interested in you and what you have to say. He asks the right questions and has the wittiest responses—and his smile is just…amazing. However, the catch is, he seems to just want to be friends—or is maybe just passing time. There really are no signs that he’s flirting—as far as you know.
But what do you know, really?
It turns out, the guy is actually gay.
How do you know if he’s flirting?
So, how do you figure out if someone is interested? What are the telltale signs that he really, definitely likes you?
Wonder no more; we’re giving you tips on how to know for sure if a guy is flirting with you.
#1 Eyebrow raise. First things first. If you go into a room, whether it’s a restaurant, a party, a bar, an office, or the boardroom, and a guy looks at you and raises his eyebrows, that means you’ve caught not only his eye, but his fancy. If a guy slightly raises his eyebrows and quickly puts them down, it means he likes what he sees. [Read: 18 body language cues to know if a guy likes you]
#2 Perky. Girls aren’t the only ones who are perky when they see someone they like. Even grown men can be perky in their own way. They’ll hold their head a little higher, sit up a little straighter, smile a little brighter, or laugh a little louder. He’ll seem like he’s on some kind of drug as soon as he sees you. He’ll be more upbeat and cheerful, and he’ll try to make you notice it.
#3 Facing you. A guy who likes you doesn’t just have to look at you. Even without his face or eyes on you, you will know that he’s flirting with you if his body is oriented toward you. For example, even in a crowd, you will know who is interested and flirting with you if, after smiling at you and then resuming talking with his friends, his shoulders are still pointed at you. This is because people subconsciously point their bodies in the direction they want to go. So, if he visits your table later, don’t be surprised. [Read: 16 giveaways guys just can’t hide when they’re attracted to a girl]
#4 Fidgeting Fred. After a while, he’ll approach you. A guy who likes you will be self-conscious, but he will try to hide it. This is why he’ll fidget a little—this is a type of preening behavior that is present in some form across the entire animal kingdom. Often, they will also straighten their shirts, square their shoulders, try to stand up a little taller, or run their hands through their hair.
#5 Close is close enough. Here, men’s innate drive to be territorial comes into play. Even if he doesn’t realize it, he’ll position himself so he’s closer to you. And, if he’s talking to you, he’ll inch closer and closer to get your attention. If two guys are talking to you, you’ll see them fight for your interest by drawing close and blocking out every other guy who might be competition.
#6 Excuse me. A guy who likes you will find an excuse—any excuse—to talk to you. If you know him, he’ll approach you with something mundane, like what you discussed the last time you were together, or that thing your boss said earlier that morning. If not, then he’ll just approach you with some well-thought-through pickup line.
#7 Down low. Guys who are into you can’t seem to talk to you in full volume. They’ll whisper like you are the only two people on earth. It’s just how guys are when in the presence of the girl they like. Maybe they want you to lean in a little closer, but that low, husky voice is a definite sign he likes you and wants you to know it. [Read: 15 ways to tell if someone likes you without asking them directly]
#8 Eye see you. It’s a sign of good manners to look someone you are talking to in the eye. However, there’s a thin line between manners and manly flirting when a guy talks to you and stares lingeringly into your eyes. He might also have a twinkle or smile in his eyes, like he’s internally giddy just to see you. Try not to be shy, look back into those eyes, and you’ll see just what we mean.
#9 Tell me about yourself. This is one thing a guy who likes you will say. Whether it’s genuine or not, a guy who is flirting with you wants to know more about you and will try to prolong the conversation. He won’t be asking where you bought your dress, where you got your shoes, or how the weather is *while these may be great pick up lines*, but he’ll ask about you or about your day because he likes to hear you talk and he wants to show he’s interested. And you know—it works.
#10 Same here. Once you get deep into a conversation, he’ll be interested in what you’re all about. Also, he’ll be delighted and animated once he finds you’re both into the same things. It’s like you revealing you are into watching environmental documentaries is the best thing he’s ever heard—and he’ll say he likes this stuff too…whether or not he really does. [Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing on you]
#11 Touchy-feely. While not all physical touches *like a handshake or a pat on the back* are flirtatious, it is best that you know which ones are—for your own sake. A guy who is flirting with you will try to touch you. You know those shoes you love and just have to touch? You are the figurative shoe. He might lightly touch your arm while you laugh at his jokes, or brush a lock of hair from your eyes. If he likes you, he’ll really make you feel it—by feeling you. [Read: 20 types of physical touches and what each touch means]
#12 Number? A guy who flirts with you will, of course, have one goal: to see you again—even if only for a one-night stand. This is why he won’t be shy when it comes to trying to get your number. He’ll try all the tricks in the trade to get it, whether by asking you outright or by subtly talking you into it.
#13 See you again. Whether or not he gets your number, another reason why he’s keen on knowing every detail about you is that he’ll want to see you again. He’ll want to know the places you frequently go to, or if you usually hang out in the place where you both met. He may even ask about your schedule if you met at the gym–or, if he’s a guy at work, he’ll frequently drop by your cubicle or go where you eat for lunch. Whatever it is, he’s gotta see you again.
#14 Sexy face. Whether or not he succeeded in getting your number, he’ll try to prolong your time together. However, if you end up not going home with him, he won’t simply say “bye” like a new friend or acquaintance would. He’ll put on his sexiest smile—maybe even wink at you—and make sure you remember his face. That, or he’s just so happy to have met you and genuinely can’t help but smile when he sees you. [Read: 15 obvious signs of flirting between a guy and a girl]
It’s always nice when a guy—a cute guy, at that—flirts with you. But there could be some instances when a guy flirts with you and you had no clue it was happening. It can really be hard to tell; however, armed with these tips, you can enhance your flirt radar and either flirt back or dismiss the advances of someone you don’t like. At least now you know what to look out for.
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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...