When you try to get a shy guy’s attention, you need to remember that there are two kinds of shy guys. Firstly, the kind that’s too shy to talk to you. And secondly, the kind that’s comfortable enough to talk to you, but is too shy to ask you out.
You can use these steps to get a shy guy talking in no time, but if you’re trying to win the attention of the first kind of shy guy, be patient and give him more time to warm up to you.
But then again, not all shy guys are forthcoming about their feelings for a girl.
Sometimes the shy guy may say that he doesn’t like you, even if he actually does like you a lot. He may believe he’s not good enough for you, or he may assume he won’t be able to carry a conversation with you. So even if you do ask him out, his fear may force him to say that he doesn’t like you as a defense mechanism.
Most shy guys would rather let their crush fade away over time *months or even years!* than risk the chance of being rejected by a girl!
12 steps to get a shy guy to like you back and ask you out!
So now that you know just how tough it can be to get a shy guy to open up to you and start dating you, are you still eager to date him? If you are, use these 12 steps patiently to get a shy guy to ask you out, and everything will work in your favor very soon!
#1 Body language. The way you behave around your friends and other people plays a big part in the way the shy guy sees you. And the more intimidating you appear, the deeper into his shell he’ll go.
#2 Impress him the way he likes. As shy as a guy may be, she still wants to appear like he’s in control of the situation *which is why most shy guys avoid talking to girls because they’re afraid of losing control*. So if you want to make him feel good about himself and fall for you at the same time, make him believe he’s the one in control of the flirty games.
#3 Look good and appear interesting. The easiest way to get a shy guy to ask you out is by sending the right hints. Glance at him now and then, especially when his friends are around. Keep yourself busy and let him and all his friends see that you have a happy life of your own. [Read: 12 things guys like in a girl besides her appearance]
When his friends start to believe that you’re a great girl, they’ll see you as a great dating potential too. And as soon as the shy guy’s friends notice you glancing at him, they’d start goading him to approach you or ask you out. They see how awesome you are, and they’ll turn into your evangelists and convince the shy guy that you’re a great catch! [Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep any guy madly interested in you!]
#4 Don’t push it! Once you do get introduced to him through a common friend *which is usually the only way to meet a shy guy!* don’t try too hard to get to know him fast. Talk to him, but don’t get pushy. Shy guys aren’t good conversationalists, even if they may be great boyfriends. They need time to warm up.
When you’re introduced to him, talk to him for a few minutes, and when things start to feel awkward because he has nothing to say, smile warmly at him, tell him you’d like to talk to him again sometime, and walk away.
#5 The fastest way to get him to open up. If you want to get a shy guy to come out of his shell and reveal his confident side, just text him. There’s nothing easier than that! A shy guy may feel awkward to talk to you in person, but when you text him, he’d turn into a Casanova in no time. And he’ll get really close to you too. [Read: How to text a shy guy and get him to start flirting with you]
And once the texting feels more comfortable, you could even start calling him over the phone. You’ll find that he won’t be as shy as you assumed him to be. But of course, when you meet him in person, he may still behave like an awkward kid, but give him some more time and he’ll open up to you.
#6 Compliments make him feel better. A shy guy’s self esteem is usually pretty low *not always*, so if you want to make him think of you fondly, compliment him now and then. It’ll make him feel better about himself, and most importantly, your compliment will linger in his mind for a long time! [Read: 25 compliments for guys they’ll never forget!]
#7 The perfect conversations with a shy guy. The shy guy you like may want to talk to you, but unfortunately, he may not know what to say because his mind goes into overdrive and his heart starts beating fast each time you walk up to him.
To make it easier for him to talk to you, ask him open ended questions, the kind of questions that just can’t be answered with a yes or a no. It’ll make it easier for him to talk, and yet, he’ll realize he’s the one doing most of the talking, which will make him feel more confident around you. [Read: 10 perfect things to talk about with a boyfriend potential]
#8 Ask a shy guy for help. Guys love helping a damsel in distress. Ask the shy guy to help you with something, be it carrying a few books for you, or to help you look for something, or to accompany you for lunch because you need some company. He’ll feel too awkward to decline, and eventually accompany you. And that’ll give you the perfect opportunity to bond with him while making him feel like your savior. [Read: Why guys always fall for a girl in distress]
#9 Tell him something nice. Hang out with him whenever you get the opportunity, preferably when no one else’s around. Don’t be too pushy though, and don’t drag him away each time he’s with his friends. Even shy guys have egos that can swell up and take you for granted!
Try to find circumstances when he’s alone and spend a while with him. And somewhere in the middle of the conversation, look towards him and say something like “I like being with you…”, “I like talking to you…” or “you understand me so well…” It’ll make him fall in love with you! [Read: How to date a shy guy who’s already a friend of yours]
#10 Use your hands. If you want to make a guy fall for you, nothing works better than the subtle, flirty art of touch. As you sit down next to him, find an excuse to touch him now and then. Make sure it’s not obvious and almost accidental. And before you know it, he’ll be craving for your touch. [Read: The subtle art of flirting by touch]
#11 Ask him out at the right opportunity. Ask him out, but make it appear like it was his idea. It’ll make him feel good about himself, and help him become more confident around you.
You: So… which was the last restaurant you’ve been to?
Shy guy: *says something*
You: Gosh, I love that restaurant. I’ve always wanted to go there!
Shy guy: Oh yeah…? hmmm… *awkward smile*
You: Let me know the next time you go there. I’d love to come with you.
By using a conversation like this one, you’re giving the guy the permission to ask you out, and yet, he’s still the one who finally has to ask you out, which would make him feel better about himself too!
#12 Go on dates together. After your first date together, don’t put any pressure on getting him to tell you that he likes you. Pan a few more dates, and this time around, you can ask him out on a date too. And once both of you actually start dating, you can always tell him that you really like him at the opportune moment, or wait for him to say those lines to you. [Read: 10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon sucks!]
And that’s all there is to it! If you use this guide on how to get a shy guy to like you and ask you out, you’ll be dating the shy guy in no time, and still avoid any awkwardness at any point of time. Just try it, you’ll see just how easy it can be!
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A professional bathroom singer, Layla Quinn loves fluffy beds and dancing around the room when she’s getting dressed. She’s obsessed with k-pop, all things ...