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How to Get a Shy Guy to Like You and Ask You Out

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Are you falling for a shy guy who’s too shy to ask you out? Use these 12 tips on how to get a shy guy to like you and get him to ask you out in no time! By Layla Quinn

how to get a shy guy to like you and ask you out

Shy guys can be a pain in the back side.

They’re cute and seem nice.

But they’re so hard to read that it can annoy any girl who falls for them.

[Confession: How I got a shy guy to ask me out when he wouldn’t even talk to me!]

And the worst part is that a shy guy may like you a lot, and still not do anything about it even if you make the first move.

He may tell a few friends that he fancies you.

And those friends may in turn tell you about it.

But at the end of it all, he just doesn’t ask you out!

How to get a shy guy to like you

Firstly, if you’re not sure about his feelings for you, you need to make sure he really likes you.

The first thing you need to focus on is getting his attention.

[Read: How to get a shy guy to notice you and fall for you]

And once he starts to notice you often, exchange eye contact with him now and then.

A shy guy may feel confident enough to sneak glances at you now and then, but he may be too timid to actually ask you out, or even initiate a conversation with you.

You need to remember that most shy guys are bold from afar, but they’d behave like a frightened cat when you’re standing right next to them.

Make the guy feel comfortable about exchanging glances and looking at you frequently. Stare at him often, and as soon as you catch his eye, look away and smile to yourself. Displaying your shy side will make him feel more comfortable with the idea of talking to you. [Read: 13 clever ways to initiate a conversation with a shy guy without making it obvious]

When you try to get a shy guy’s attention, you need to remember that there are two kinds of shy guys. Firstly, the kind that’s too shy to talk to you. And secondly, the kind that’s comfortable enough to talk to you, but is too shy to ask you out.

You can use these steps to get a shy guy talking in no time, but if you’re trying to win the attention of the first kind of shy guy, be patient and give him more time to warm up to you.

Don’t ask a shy guy out straight away!

If you know for sure that the shy guy likes you, you could just ask him out. Chances are, he may feel relieved and even accept to go out on a date with you. [Read: How to ask a guy out like a real classy girl]

But then again, not all shy guys are forthcoming about their feelings for a girl.

Sometimes the shy guy may say that he doesn’t like you, even if he actually does like you a lot. He may believe he’s not good enough for you, or he may assume he won’t be able to carry a conversation with you. So even if you do ask him out, his fear may force him to say that he doesn’t like you as a defense mechanism.

Most shy guys would rather let their crush fade away over time *months or even years!* than risk the chance of being rejected by a girl!

12 steps to get a shy guy to like you back and ask you out!

So now that you know just how tough it can be to get a shy guy to open up to you and start dating you, are you still eager to date him? If you are, use these 12 steps patiently to get a shy guy to ask you out, and everything will work in your favor very soon!

#1 Body language. The way you behave around your friends and other people plays a big part in the way the shy guy sees you. And the more intimidating you appear, the deeper into his shell he’ll go.

If you want to give him the courage to approach you, appear friendly, warm and approachable, especially when he’s around. Sometimes, even pretending to be a shy girl can make him feel bolder! [Read: Why guys like shy girls and find them more attractive]

#2 Impress him the way he likes. As shy as a guy may be, she still wants to appear like he’s in control of the situation *which is why most shy guys avoid talking to girls because they’re afraid of losing control*. So if you want to make him feel good about himself and fall for you at the same time, make him believe he’s the one in control of the flirty games.

Smile coyly at him and look away when he looks towards you. Ask a friend to tease you while pointing towards the shy guy, while you pretend like you’re really embarrassed about it. [Read: 9 sneaky ways to get a guy to ask you out by using your friends]

#3 Look good and appear interesting. The easiest way to get a shy guy to ask you out is by sending the right hints. Glance at him now and then, especially when his friends are around. Keep yourself busy and let him and all his friends see that you have a happy life of your own. [Read: 12 things guys like in a girl besides her appearance]

When his friends start to believe that you’re a great girl, they’ll see you as a great dating potential too. And as soon as the shy guy’s friends notice you glancing at him, they’d start goading him to approach you or ask you out. They see how awesome you are, and they’ll turn into your evangelists and convince the shy guy that you’re a great catch! [Read: 30 super sexy ways to keep any guy madly interested in you!]

#4 Don’t push it! Once you do get introduced to him through a common friend *which is usually the only way to meet a shy guy!* don’t try too hard to get to know him fast. Talk to him, but don’t get pushy. Shy guys aren’t good conversationalists, even if they may be great boyfriends. They need time to warm up.

When you’re introduced to him, talk to him for a few minutes, and when things start to feel awkward because he has nothing to say, smile warmly at him, tell him you’d like to talk to him again sometime, and walk away.

#5 The fastest way to get him to open up. If you want to get a shy guy to come out of his shell and reveal his confident side, just text him. There’s nothing easier than that! A shy guy may feel awkward to talk to you in person, but when you text him, he’d turn into a Casanova in no time. And he’ll get really close to you too. [Read: How to text a shy guy and get him to start flirting with you]

And once the texting feels more comfortable, you could even start calling him over the phone. You’ll find that he won’t be as shy as you assumed him to be. But of course, when you meet him in person, he may still behave like an awkward kid, but give him some more time and he’ll open up to you.

#6 Compliments make him feel better. A shy guy’s self esteem is usually pretty low *not always*, so if you want to make him think of you fondly, compliment him now and then. It’ll make him feel better about himself, and most importantly, your compliment will linger in his mind for a long time! [Read: 25 compliments for guys they’ll never forget!]

#7 The perfect conversations with a shy guy. The shy guy you like may want to talk to you, but unfortunately, he may not know what to say because his mind goes into overdrive and his heart starts beating fast each time you walk up to him.

To make it easier for him to talk to you, ask him open ended questions, the kind of questions that just can’t be answered with a yes or a no. It’ll make it easier for him to talk, and yet, he’ll realize he’s the one doing most of the talking, which will make him feel more confident around you. [Read: 10 perfect things to talk about with a boyfriend potential]

#8 Ask a shy guy for help. Guys love helping a damsel in distress. Ask the shy guy to help you with something, be it carrying a few books for you, or to help you look for something, or to accompany you for lunch because you need some company. He’ll feel too awkward to decline, and eventually accompany you. And that’ll give you the perfect opportunity to bond with him while making him feel like your savior. [Read: Why guys always fall for a girl in distress]

#9 Tell him something nice. Hang out with him whenever you get the opportunity, preferably when no one else’s around. Don’t be too pushy though, and don’t drag him away each time he’s with his friends. Even shy guys have egos that can swell up and take you for granted!

Try to find circumstances when he’s alone and spend a while with him. And somewhere in the middle of the conversation, look towards him and say something like “I like being with you…”, “I like talking to you…” or “you understand me so well…” It’ll make him fall in love with you! [Read: How to date a shy guy who’s already a friend of yours]

#10 Use your hands. If you want to make a guy fall for you, nothing works better than the subtle, flirty art of touch. As you sit down next to him, find an excuse to touch him now and then. Make sure it’s not obvious and almost accidental. And before you know it, he’ll be craving for your touch. [Read: The subtle art of flirting by touch]

#11 Ask him out at the right opportunity. Ask him out, but make it appear like it was his idea. It’ll make him feel good about himself, and help him become more confident around you.

You: So… which was the last restaurant you’ve been to?

Shy guy: *says something*

You: Gosh, I love that restaurant. I’ve always wanted to go there!

Shy guy: Oh yeah…? hmmm… *awkward smile*

You: Let me know the next time you go there. I’d love to come with you.

By using a conversation like this one, you’re giving the guy the permission to ask you out, and yet, he’s still the one who finally has to ask you out, which would make him feel better about himself too!

#12 Go on dates together. After your first date together, don’t put any pressure on getting him to tell you that he likes you. Pan a few more dates, and this time around, you can ask him out on a date too. And once both of you actually start dating, you can always tell him that you really like him at the opportune moment, or wait for him to say those lines to you. [Read: 10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon sucks!]

[Read: The secret guide to attracting guys in a way they can never resist!]

And that’s all there is to it! If you use this guide on how to get a shy guy to like you and ask you out, you’ll be dating the shy guy in no time, and still avoid any awkwardness at any point of time. Just try it, you’ll see just how easy it can be!


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Have your say!
  • laysea
    February 26, 2014 | Permalink |

    I’m very frustrated, their is this shy guy at the gym I work out at I’ve caught him staring at me and even going out of his way to walk by me and that’s been going on for another now so I finally got up the courage to walk over there and introduce myself , so now we know each others names and its been 3 days since I did that well today I walked out of the bathroom and bumped into him and he just looked at me and looked away didn’t say a word I was devastated so does that mean he’s not interested anymore? I’m so confused help

  • Helperofthedowntrodden
    March 29, 2014 | Permalink |

    No this guy is just very nervous the looking away is actually a sign hw likes you but he will most likely never find the courage to talk to you and could possibly have asbergers so i would suggest that you ask him out this is coming from an extremely shy guy so i know what im talking about

  • cindy
    September 21, 2014 | Permalink |

    Met this man a few months ago. He is shy, when I find him staring at me he would look away. He seems to be quiet on a conversation. I’m very much the opposite of him. The first time we met, we wer both just out of a serious relationship so we decided to be friends and be there for each other. We barely txt each other but when I need him, he would come over for me, just like when my father passed away. He came over , listened to my grief and he put me to sleep (rubbing my back and stroking my hair). He just moved here in town so he couldn’t find a good job. He stopped txting at one point so I gave him space. 3-4 weeks passed he texted me apologizing for not txting for a while. He said he found a better job and can finally take me out on a date. He told me he found a better job but it’s two hours away from me. He told me he never said anything coz I would’ve stopped him. Txt went on with him telling me ” I miss you so much, it’s been too long since I’ve seen you”, “you’ve been a big part of my life”, “bad thing about this new place is that ur not here”
    Then the date. He couldn’t stop staring at me but would look away when I stare back. Kisses me when I put my chin oh his shoulder, he would kiss my shoulder when I’m looking away. He had two beers so he was buzzed. He was more open and more talkative. Then he said ” I f*cken love you”. I was shocked so I didn’t respond. He kissed me goodnight then promised to visit me every 2 wks. I texted him and now he’s not responding. I like him a lot. What do I do? And what happened?

  • na
    November 25, 2014 | Permalink |

    So I like this guy and there’s a chance he likes me but whenever he texts me it’s always for homework and I don’t know what to do. Sometimes in person it’s hard to make conversation because he’s shy plus we’re in two different friendship groups

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