The big question that leaves so many girls confused – Is he shy or not interested?! If you can’t tell if he’s bashful or not into you, it can mean one of a three things – he’s not interested, he’s playing hard to get, or the trickiest one – he’s shy and cold because he doesn’t know how to approach you!
Reading a guy’s signals is pretty difficult to do, but it’s made even more difficult when you can’t tell if a guy is just waiting for the right opportunity or if he just doesn’t care about you. So what’s the answer? Is he shy or not interested?
While this can be really hard to differentiate, you can tell the difference in no time! These two behaviors may seem the same on the outside, but they’re actually very different if you pay close attention and use our tips to decode his behavior.
[Read: How to get a shy guy to like you and ask you out]
We’re not sure who came up with the idea of playing hard. Of course, it works sometimes, but still, it doesn’t make sense for a girl to pursue and chase after a guy who doesn’t seem the least bit interested.
Maybe it has something to do with “winning” him over. Either way, you should never bother with a guy who isn’t into you because it’s just a waste of time.
Why do you want to spend your time pining over a guy who has made it clear that you’re not someone they want? [Read: 31 reasons why a guy may never like you back and you need to walk away]
Guys who are shy can sometimes make the best boyfriends. The trick is knowing whether or not they want you to pursue them or encourage them. In order to do this, you have to first determine if they even like you at all!
Although guys can be a bit harder to read than women, it is possible. Here are all the signs a guy is shy versus the signs he’s just not into you at all.
If a guy does any of these things, it means he definitely is interested in you, but he’s just too shy to make a move. Don’t be afraid to take the reins with this type of guy and go for it! [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy and make him love you]
This is a huge giveaway for any guy who is interested. However, but it becomes even more important to look out for if you think a guy is shy.
If he’s really bashful and isn’t the type to put his feelings out there or approach you directly, he’ll still want to look at you – because he likes you! If you see him checking you out all the time even if he doesn’t talk much, it’s a huge sign he likes you.
When you actually catch him in the act of staring, does he get flustered or turn really red? If he does, it’s basically confirmed that he’s into you. He’s totally embarrassed to have been caught and if a guy is shy, he gets embarrassed easily.
He obviously wants to stare at you, and his heart probably skips a beat when you lock eyes with him. But it’s all too much to handle for him! [Read: 16 signs a guy really likes you but is scared and unsure what to do]
Do you both know each other? Is he an acquaintance?
If he does acknowledge you when you’re passing by, or if he goes out of his way to say “hi” to you, that’s a good sign. But if he disappears immediately after, don’t assume he doesn’t like you. Chances are, he’s just too shy!
He’s so into you that he can really only work up the nerve to greet you, but anything else and it’s just too much for him!
If you’re confused if he’s shy or not interested, paying attention to his mood when you walk into the room can help.
When a guy seems to lighten up or even get excited when you’re around, it’s because he’s happy you’re there. Even if he doesn’t say anything to you, he likes you if his mood improves around you.
If he’s making an effort to talk to you, then he wants to be conversing. Some guys are really shy and can’t get much more than a sentence out. Even then, it might be a little awkward and stiff. Just know that if he trying to talk to you, he’s into you. [Read: 20 signs he likes you with the very first conversation]
When a guy likes you but is actually very shy, texting will make things immensely easier for him.
So just know that if you are confused about a guy liking you, get his phone number or follow each other on social media. If he opens up a lot when you text and he chats for hours, he is SO into you. [Read: How to flirt with a guy over text – Everything you ever need to know]
There are so many different ways a guy tells you he likes you without saying a single word.
If his body is turned in your direction even though he’s looking away, he’s still directed to you. He’ll do this unconsciously. Another way to tell if he’s interested is just if he tries to be next to you often. [Read: 18 signs to decode his body language and read his mind]
This is a weird thing guys do, and would obviously leave you wondering, is he shy or not interested or playing hard to get?! He hangs out around you *either alone or with your group of friends* even when he has nothing to say. If you want to walk somewhere, he’ll probably ask if he can accompany you, or just stick around.
This can be annoying if you don’t like the guy. But if you do like him, know that this is a very big sign he really likes spending time with you.
You’d notice this all the time around a shy guy, and it’s adorable! A friend may ask you a question, and you’d answer it in a sentence.
But if a shy guy likes you, chances are, he’ll bounce off the same question and ask you to elaborate on it. He may ask you for more details, or add in one more related question, and then turn very quiet!
He’s very keen to talk to you, but he doesn’t know what to say. So instead of “making a fool of himself,” he’ll just use someone else’s questions to initiate a conversation with you. [Read: Is he attracted to me? 22 subtle signs to know if a quiet guy is into you]
The thing about shy guys is that their true motives are always revealed in a crowd! When it’s just the two of you, he may be the awkward guy who never makes eye contact.
But in a crowd when you’re busy talking to someone else, it gives him all the time in the world to stare at you deeply, and fall harder for your little quirks and gestures. So if you look towards him suddenly, and catch him staring *not once but several times*, know that he definitely has a thing for you!
You’re talking to a few friends, and he’s one among them. Someone asks you if you had lunch. Harmless question, so you say yes. Now your shy admirer may ask you something way more detailed like “what did you have for lunch?”
If a guy doesn’t like you, he wouldn’t care! But when a shy guy likes you, he’d want to make mental notes of everything, your favorite food, movies you like, places you hang out, everything. He’s obsessed with you, even if he can’t bring himself to talk to you! [Read: How to flirt with a shy guy – 15 baby steps to help him open up]
Did you tell this guy in passing just how you like your coffee, or about some random candy you would like as a kid? A month could have passed, and he’d still remember this detail. In fact, he may start carrying around your favorite candy or even bring you coffee *just the way you like it*.
The thing about shy guys is, they pay attention to details.
Of course, any guy who likes you would remember details. But a shy guy uses these details to subtly make you realize he cares for you. He doesn’t have the courage to tell you directly, so he’ll use the smallest hints to make you realize this yourself.
A shy guy’s mind is never still, especially when he’s talking to a girl he likes. If he likes you, and he’s sitting quietly next to you, you may assume he’s bored or not particularly thinking about anything. But we can assure you, his mind would be racing at a million miles trying to come up with something smart or witty to say.
He wants to make you laugh, he wants to make you like him, but he overanalyzes everything he says or does around you. *which usually leads to him not doing or saying anything at all!*
So when you’re spending time with a guy, and you’re wondering, is he shy or not interested, pay attention to the kind of details he shares.
Does he ask you if you’d like to have coffee with him sometime *and then goes terribly quiet*? Does he recommend a movie he thinks you’d like *and then goes terribly quiet*? Does he compliment you once *and then goes terribly quiet*?
These are all huge proclamations of affection to a shy guy! [Read: 22 signs he’s fighting his feelings for you and holding himself back]
A big clue if you’re wondering, is he shy or not interested! A shy guy would talk less in person, but he’ll stay in touch with you all the time over texts. He’ll send you memes, funny photos, and good morning texts. Texting is a shy guy’s weapon of choice, because he feels more confident behind a screen.
On the other hand, if a guy isn’t interested, he won’t bother texting you… at all! Really, if he doesn’t care for you in person, why would he take the time to stay connected over text?
When you’re talking to a shy guy, and you wonder if he likes you, pay attention to this subtle detail. Does he always seem like he has something more to say but he bites his tongue or holds back? Even when you ask him to elaborate on something, he probably just shrugs and says nothing.
You may notice this more often when you’re alone with him. A shy guy who likes you probably has poems and poems of words to share with you, but his mouth goes dry in your company. [Read: Does playing coy around a guy actually work? How to use it and be effective AF]
This is a big one. If a shy guy likes you, and he sees you giving another guy a lot of attention, he’d usually be the first one to slink away to a corner and sulk instead of trying to beat the competition.
Want to test this out? Ignore him for a minute and laugh and talk to another guy in front of him. If his upbeat and happy mood changes to a brooding or sulking one instantly, big chances are, he’s already knee-deep in love with you!
Ah, hugs! A casual, and yet such a meaningful, way to read a guy’s intentions. A shy guy may not express himself with words, but if you both know each other well as friends and are comfortable hugging each other goodbye, pay attention to his goodbye hug.
Is it a quick one-arm hug that feels casual? Or does he linger for just a second longer than a friend should? [Read: The romantic hug vs the friendly hug and how to feel the difference instantly]
The flirty move from the old movies! If you’re wondering, is he shy or not interested, turn around and glance back when you’re walking away from him. Do you see them craning his neck around to see you? Or is he walking away without a care in the world? A shy guy who likes you would feel sad to let you go because of all his pent-up and loved-up feelings.
[Read: 27 signs he clearly likes you as more than a friend and wants to date you]
So now that you know how to recognize a shy guy who’s interested in you, let’s take a look at the other side.
These signs, on the other hand, depict how a guy acts when he’s just not into you at all. Make sure to note the difference so you can tell them apart. [Read: 15 signs he likes you but just isn’t interested in dating you]
This is just polite behavior. If a guy says hi but doesn’t make any additional effort to talk to you but talks to others, he’s not interested. He’s not a shy guy if he’s able to comfortably talk to a bunch of other people. So keep that in mind.
Think about it. If you’re really interested in someone, what do you do?
You look at them all the time because you find them adorable. Therefore, if you just think he’s shy but he never even looks at you, he’s just not interested.
Even shy guys will wander over to you when you’re in the same place. They might not say anything, but they’ll be there. So if the guy you’re confused about isn’t anywhere near you, ever, he’s probably just not into you. [Read: 20 reasons a guy might be ignoring you]
If you’re into him and you’re talking a lot and trying to keep a conversation going but he has no interest in it and even leaves as soon as he can, he doesn’t like you.
It’s not so much that he doesn’t care about what you’re saying, he just doesn’t want to spend his time with someone he’s not into.
If he doesn’t change behaviors at all around you, he’s not interested. Guys sometimes can’t help how giddy or excited they act around their crush.
But if the guy in question is just himself and doesn’t act differently at all, it’s because you have no effect on him. [Read: Why isn’t he asking you out yet? These 17 reasons why!]
This is just an obvious sign. If the guy actually just leaves whenever you go near him, he’s obviously not into you.
This will most likely happen if you’ve been hitting on him or trying to show him you like him. He won’t want to address the issue so he’ll avoid it altogether.
If you do have his number and it’s always you reaching out first, he doesn’t like you. Guys will go out of their way to find reasons to talk to you if they’re interested. You won’t have to be the first to try and start a conversation – even if a guy is shy. [Read: How to tell if a guy likes you through texting]
When he’s basically turning his back on you and shutting you out, he doesn’t like you. This is a major sign you can’t ignore. Even a shy guy will try and get you to talk to him now and then.
So if a guy is being obvious about not talking to you, it’s because he really doesn’t want to.
[Read: Do guys play hard to get? The truth, 21 reasons and what you need to do next]
So now that you can know to tell apart a shy guy who likes you, and a guy who seems shy but isn’t interested in you, use these signs to your advantage the next time you’re wondering, is he shy or not interested.
Once you know the real signs that matter, you’ll see that telling these two kinds of guys apart would take you less than a few minutes around them!
[Read: How to talk to a guy – 34 tips to sweet talk him and make him melt with your words]
At the end of the day, for the most part, guys give really similar signals that prove they’re into you. So if you keep asking, “is he shy or not interested” the answer will be clear with these signs.
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