If you’ve tried everything to get a man and nothing has worked, maybe tease and denial will. But maybe it won’t. Here’s what you should know first.
There are endless instructions and tips for how to find a man. The trouble is, most of the advice you’re receiving isn’t exactly tried and true. It’s just what people think will work, when in reality, it probably doesn’t do much good at all.
Sure, you could definitely pick up a guy by attempting the “bend and snap,” as Elle Woods suggests in Legally Blonde. But more likely than not, it wasn’t JUST that move that drew a man to you. There’s a lot more to finding a man than just showing off your goods in his direction.
Why most pickup techniques don’t work
Us ladies have tried many different methods for picking up a guy. And yet here we are, researching – yet again – another way to land a man because our usual ways just aren’t working. But why is it that so much advice for landing a man just doesn’t work?
A lot of tips for picking up a guy are usually things you do. That is, you flip your hair, sway your hips as you walk by, smile in his direction, and the like. But the trouble with doing those things is that you first have to make sure a guy is even looking at you. And most of the time, guys just aren’t even paying attention. [Read: How to get a guy’s attention in any circumstance]
Is tease and denial the secret you need to hook a man for good?
If you’ve been paying attention, then you know many techniques don’t work. That’s where the tease and denial comes into play. When you tease a man and then deny him the “goods,” you’re making him want it even more.
If you’re unfamiliar with this technique, have no fear. It’s very simple and not hard to get good at. All you have to do is tease a man in any way you can – flirting, sexual innuendos, etc. Give him the idea that you will be all his, and the second he makes an advance, shoot him down.
Keep in mind, however, that this may not work for every guy because nobody is the same. Here’s when this method will work and when you should try another tactic.
When it works
Here are all the situations in which this method would have the most effect in hooking a man and making his attention yours.
#1 His attention fluctuates often. Some guys don’t have very long attention spans – just like us ladies. However, if he has a habit of giving you a lot of attention and then being captivated by something *or someone* else at the flip of a switch, this method would be your best bet.
#2 He has other women pining for his attention, too. If your eye is on a man who has many other women attempting to get with him, it may be a little trickier. All you need to do is take his attention away from them and make him WANT to get yours.
This is definitely a time for tease and denial. You just give him a little taste of what you can do. Be it flirting mercilessly or even giving him a little show, make sure he knows that you will be worth more than the other ladies.
#3 Other methods have failed. So you’ve tried pretty much everything else in your pickup arsenal, and nothing has worked. Now it’s time for the tease and denial. When you can’t get his attention with anything else, then you can safely assume he may need that little extra push. However, if he still shows no interest, he may just not be into it. [Read: Want to be irresistible to men? 14 ways to hook the guy]
#4 He’s playing hard to get. Guys do this, too. They pretend to be disinterested so you pull out all the stops to get his attention, and then you want him even more. Well, it’s working and in order to get his attention, you have to give him the ol’ tease and denial. It’s time to flip the switch and make him come after you.
#5 He’s not visually stimulated. Some guys couldn’t give two shits about a fit woman walking by in a bikini. Therefore, you need to appeal to him on a different level. You have to use his instincts in order to gain his attention and by that, I mean you have to give him something worth chasing. The tease and denial is perfect for just that. [Read: How to flirt with a guy without really flirting]
When it doesn’t work
There are certain times when this technique just won’t work on a guy. Here’s when you should abandon this method and try another.
#1 You already have his attention. If a guy is already in your clutches, you shouldn’t be doing the tease and denial. This technique is made for getting a guy’s attention, not keeping it.
So if he’s already interested and talking to you on a regular basis, doing the tease and denial could actually be bad. It could send him mixed signals that he interprets as you not being sure about wanting to be with him.
#2 He’s disinterested in games. Some guys don’t care about games. They just want to get to the good stuff and even start a relationship, rather than mess with a runaround of emotions. If you think this man is more of the type to leap into things rather than wait, don’t do tease and denial. [Read: 20 sure reasons why a guy could be ignoring you]
#3 He’s very straightforward about his feelings. Some guys will tell you exactly what they want. If he says he likes you, doesn’t like you, or even if he’s just very open and honest about his opinions, it’s likely the tease and denial won’t work.
This is because he’s the type to be open about his feelings, and if you’re not, he could see that as a bad sign. So make sure he’s not the type to be straightforward about things if you do want to use this technique.
#4 You’re the only one who’s after him. Really, there is no need to be playing games if the guy is 100% set on you. Sure, it could make him want you more, but it could also turn him away if he thinks you’re only into playing games. So if he only has eyes for you, don’t make him look away. [Read: How to make a guy fall in love with you – 21 ways to charm him]
#5 He seems more interested in deeper conversation. If the guy you’re after is very deep with his conversations, don’t use tease and denial.
If he cares more about what’s underneath the surface, he won’t like games like tease and denial. Instead, the best thing you can do is to be yourself and be honest about your goals, morals, and values.
So, will finding your Mr. Right depend on using this technique of tease and denial? The short answer? It depends on the guy. Find out who he is and adjust your method of hooking him according to those details.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...