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18 Insightful Reasons Why You Don’t Have Any Friends

why you don't have friends

Do you ever wonder why you don’t have any good friends? Here are 18 truthful reasons why friends probably don’t stick around you for too long.

Are you having a hard time keeping friends?

Or do you find yourself constantly being let down by people you think are friends?

Feeling ignored by friends can be one of the worst things to experience, but what’s worse is when your friends are ignoring you and no one even seems to be subtle about it.

So are you such a bad person that no one wants to be around you anymore?

Or are you making a few unforgivable mistakes that push people away from you, or force them to take you for granted?

[Read: 16 reasons why you’re always being taken for granted by the people in your life]

18 insightful reasons why you don’t have any friends

Are your best guy friends or girl friends walking away from you all the time?

Well, here are 18 reasons why they’re probably doing that to you.

Ask yourself if you’re doing any of these things subconsciously, and if you see yourself in any of these reasons, make a conscious effort to change yourself for the better if you want your friends to stick around for longer.

#1 You try too hard. And it shows! You come off as too clingy and needy. Are you constantly pursuing people to meet you, even when they don’t seem too keen to make time for you? Or when you meet a friend or a group of friends, do you constantly try to get everyone to stay back, even if it’s very clear that they’re bored stiff?

Spending time with a new friend may matter a lot to you, but when you try too hard, you could come off as a very clingy and annoying person. Just relax, and be more laid back. Your friends don’t have to know you have nothing better to do when they’re gone. Just pretend like you’re busy too, and say goodbye before the atmosphere starts to stiffen up with awkwardness. [Read: How your self respect affects your relationship with your friends]

#2 You’re too negative. You’re full of dark energy of the bad kind, and you make people feel uncomfortable around you. Have you ever seen characters in movies or people on the street that make you feel uncomfortable, and you just don’t know why?

You may not pay too much attention to your thoughts, but when you’re too full of negativity, bitterness or anger, it shows. And it makes people want to move a few inches away from you even when they sit next to you. [Read: Are you full of negative energy? – 10 ways to remove it!]

#3 You have a hard time picking social cues. Is the person you’re talking to getting bored? Do you even realize this is the third time they’re looking at their watch? Did you even notice that your friend’s staring at their facebook page on the phone while you’re in the middle of an interesting conversation?

Just because you think you’re having a fun time doesn’t mean everyone else. Pay attention to the behavior of people around you when you talk to them. And change the conversation the minute you seem others getting distracted. [Read: The complete guide to making great conversations with anyone and making them love you!]

#4 You’re a selfish person. Admit it. No one may have told you this, but you’re more worried about your own needs than anyone else’s. When you meet your friends, all you’re concerned about is about YOU having a good time. You don’t think about an evening out with friends as a collective moment to get together and have fun. “Why am I not having fun?” “Why don’t they like talking about this when I like it so much?” “Why aren’t we staying longer because I have nothing better to do?” “Why am I being ignored?” “Why isn’t this person talking to me?”

You selfishly extract happiness out of the conversation with others, and are only interested in hearing what you want to hear, and talking about things you want to talk about. You always want more than you give. But remember this, when you’re not willing to give back, you’re not going to get any in the first place. [Read: 10 signs you’re a selfish person and 5 ways to change yourself]

#5 You read between the lines. And you read it way too much! You constantly assume the whole world revolves around you. So your friend shared a quote on facebook? Wait, does that have something to do with you? Was there a secret message addressed to you in that? Is he or she trying to say something to you? Stop!

Stop trying to constantly assume that there’s a hidden agenda or meaning behind everything a friend does or says, and that it somehow has something to do with you. When you start reading between the lines all the time, you’re going to end up making a lot of assumptions. And as everyone knows, assumptions are the mother of all F* ups. You get one assumption wrong somewhere, and every assumption beyond that is going to be all wrong. And it gets worse if you confront a friend over an assumption and then find yourself looking like an idiot. [Read: Are you losing a friend or are both of you just drifting away over time?]

#6 You whine all the time!! People hate whiners more than they hate the plague, even if they don’t realize it! Do you find yourself complaining about something or the other all the time? Do yourself and the world a favor and stop the whining. Everyone has enough crap going on in their own lives, and they don’t want to be burdened by your complaints and lack of happiness. Be happy, look at the bright side and shower the world with happiness and laughs. You’ll be loved in no time! [Read: 15 tips to be really nice and loved by all immediately]

#7 You create psychological barriers. Do you ever hold back a thought because you think you may sound silly for saying it? And most importantly, do you feel uncomfortable around your friends? If you do, your body language may be picked up by your friend’s subconscious mind and make them feel uncomfortable and restless around you.

#8 You’re a boring conversationalist. You speak about things that just don’t interest the people you’re around. And you just don’t know when to stop. Just because something interests you doesn’t mean the whole world should be fascinated by it!

Here’s a cue, if a friend listens to what you have to say without making any effort to add their own views into it, in all probability, they’re just waiting to run away from you. [Read: Easy ways to be funny and interesting, and make people love your company!]

#9 You drain your friend’s energy. You’re a toxic friend. You always leave people in a bad mood when you say goodbye. And your friends are happier when you leave than when you’re around. It could be the things you say, or the choice of words you use to say something, that just makes people want to curl their toes around you.

Are your friends planning get-togethers behind your back without inviting you over? Well, sorry to say it, but there’s a very, very big chance that you’re a toxic friend. [Read: The 10 types of toxic friends who make other friends feel miserable]

#10 You’re in the wrong crowd. Sometimes, annoying people don’t like you even when you’re really nice, and that’s probably because they have a preconceived notion about who you are *either through rumors or based on your not-so-secret past*. You can’t change that, and the effort you’re going to take to make them believe you’re a really nice person is just not worth it.

#11 You’re right. You always are. Wait, that’s what you think! You argue over the silliest of things. You think an interesting argument is the perfect way to keep a conversation alive. But can you really define a healthy argument? Do you have the urge to contradict people aggressively over the smallest of things, perhaps to prove them wrong or to make yourself feel better?

Do people give up arguments easily around you? Well, here’s something you need to know. When people give up arguments within a minute or two while talking to you, it’s not a case of you making a strong point. It’s a case of others saying “whatever… gosh, this person is annoying!” [Read: 10 kinds of really bad friends you have to avoid in your life]

#12 You forget your friends when you don’t need them. Do you really pay attention to your friends? Or do you just ignore your friends and their calls when you’re having fun with someone else? Do you avoid your friends when you start dating someone new?

You really need to think about this one. You may not realize it, but you may be taking your friends for granted and assume they’d always stick around for you, whether you have time for them or not. On the other hand, your friends may be too hurt because of the way you treat them, and may choose to avoid you. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t know it!]

#13 You’re insecure and jealous. You have trust issues and feel threatened each time your friend meets someone new, and you subconsciously make it a point to make your friend feel bad for ignoring you or spending time with someone other than you. When you’re jealous, it always shows. And your friends would absolutely hate being around you, especially when you try to make them feel guilty for meeting or spending time with others, instead of you.

#14 You’ve jumped or dropped a social status. People are most comfortable around people of their own social status. It’s a hidden secret that’s only whispered in hushes. Did your startup make it big and now you’re a really rich guy or girl all of a sudden? Your poorer old friends may start ignoring you and think you’re a rich show off all of a sudden. And that’s because they feel threatened by your newfound success.

Or if you were a richer person a year ago than you are now, there’s a good chance that your old friends would think lowly of you and bitch about you behind your back. And you’d be the social pariah because you’re “not good enough for them” anymore!

You can’t do anything about it though, so just find yourself a few new friends who’ll appreciate you for who you really are. [Read: 25 memorable life lessons that can change your life for the better!]

#15 You’re an introvert. Do you feel happiest when you’re alone? Perhaps, you’re an introvert who’s trying to come out of the shell. You probably want to make new friends, but you just don’t know how to go about it without rubbing someone off the wrong way. Take your time, learn from past experiences and make sure you don’t repeat your mistakes. [Read: The right way to make new friends when you can’t find any!]

#16 You’re fake! You’re so fake you make Barbie look real! And everyone around you can see it. You may think you’re very smart and can cover the fact that you’re a liar who says nice things just to get things done. But if your friends see through your behavior, you’ll be losing friends like you were squeezing sand in your hands.

#17 You’re too demanding. You have a lot of expectations from your friends, and voice your displeasure very vocally when they can’t do something for you. For some reason, you have this notion in your head that friends are out there to help you and it’s your right to ask them for help when you need to get something done. Well, it probably worked well in your school days, but you can’t really expect friends to make time for the silliest of your whims all the time!

#18 You’re not making the effort. Are you really trying to meet people, or are you sitting at home waiting for the miracle gods to stir up something for you? Making friends requires a lot of effort, just like work or making money. But the best part about making friends is that it has an exponential effect!

When you make one friend, that person will lead you to two more. And those two will lead you to four more, and so on! But for people to be interested in you and enjoy your company, you need to be pleasant, happy, fun and most importantly, giving. [Read: 11 tips to love yourself and be a much better you!]

The last word.

Look, if you don’t have friends, it’s not always your fault. You need to remember that. If someone doesn’t want to be your friend, you have a choice to walk away too. There’s no reason for you to cling on to someone who clearly doesn’t think of you as a priority. You’d only make yourself look like an idiot for trying to grasp on to someone who’s twisting your fingers away to run away from you.

[Read: Should you make someone a priority when you’re only an option to them?]

So the next time another friend walks away from you, see if you find any of these 18 reasons why you don’t have friends in yourself. And in all probability, there’s a good chance you’re unintentionally driving your good friends away from you without realizing it!

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Elizabeth Arthur
Elizabeth Arthur
A mom of two who’s currently working on a novel, Elizabeth Arthur lives in Cornwall. And when she’s not chasing her boys around the house, she enjoys sittin...
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DISCUSSION

13 thoughts on “18 Insightful Reasons Why You Don’t Have Any Friends”

  1. Blonde says:

    Great article! These are helpful tips to understand why friends can walk away from your life for “no apparent reason”.

    I have a friend who’s just like this! She’s warm and friendly, but she’s just too paranoid all the time. And as nice a person as she is, everything she says just feels like an accusation. All the time!

    She’s rude and prods too deep into everything, and wants all the details every time I can’t make time to meet her. I like her as a person, but her annoying behavior of wanting to know all the details each time I can’t meet her just bugs me to no end and just makes me want to go UGGHH!

    Why can’t people just stop being so pushy all the time?

  2. John says:

    Great article.. This is really helpful article for those who doesn’t have a friend, they can find the reason why they don’t have any friend and even they can notice their weak points and also make improvement in that.. well thank you so much for this article.!!

  3. Kody says:

    What about those who don’t have friends by choice? I’m an introvert and you briefly touched on that up there, but I choose to be without any friends because of that. I’m much better on my own, more things get done, and I generally live a far more fulfilling life than if I was the kind of person who goes out to the club or out to the movies with a group of people. Why bother? It just doesn’t appeal to me.

  4. hater says:

    I think the reason why I don’t have friend is that I’m always so mean. Come to think of it, I won’t like myself if I meet myself in person. LOL

  5. Sam says:

    I am a 23 year old girl living in a large city but cannot seem to find any good girl friends! I moved here about 1 year ago with my best friend but we ended up fighting constantly and rarely talk now. I have a wonderful boyfriend who i adore and right now we are in a long distance relationship but i still see him most weekends. I am really lucky to have such a great man but I would love to have some girl friends. Back home I have a few that I stay in touch with but do not see them much because of my living situation. I have 2 roommates, one has a boyfriend and the other is constantly working. All the girls at work I couldn’t really be friends with, they are all married with have busy lives and most are extremely catty and I cannot stand women like that! I would rather have no friends than be around people like that. I would say I have a good appearance, not really shy, genuine, and good hearted so what is wrong with me! This is really starting to effect my confidence and make me feel bad. And the more this goes on I feel myself not being fun (way boring) or outgoing which makes it even harder to find friends. Also, it is putting a little bit of a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend and I feel myself being mean or taking it out on him that I am lonely when he has done nothing wrong.

  6. Jeff Doe says:

    I like the people that go through life with their middle finger up because atleast I know that they care. The more angry people that are around me, the more exciting, and fun life becomes.

    You see, this article is mostly crap because it asks you to pretend to be someone else just so it can corner you into becoming fake and then ofcourse, you will still be hated.

    and guess what…when that happens your status on facebook and life will drop.

    This is my advice for the readers and the author…

    Try to love people for their weaknesses not their sttengths. Because the only kind of love and friendship that is genuine comes from disrespectful honesty.

    And to the readers, that are introverts..all 99 percent of you. Consider that your trying to befriend the wrong damn people. The difference between and introvert and a linear is mostly that we just can’t “fake it to make it.”

    We get seen as bitter, and we see them as fake. But if you befriend people “Below your status,” that truly are flawed..than you’ll find true friendship there…at the gutter of life.

    Because all of us, you me, the author, are vagabonds, we are assholes and selfish. But you can sit and waste your time trying to impress people that only see you as a stepping stone to the status ladder these linear people speak so much about…(Still have not found that thing) or you can actually smile and buy someone a lunch that needs it, help the ones that got kicked down and are bitter, and angry.

    At some point in your lives, all of you will have to choose between Love or Friendship. I wish you well with your choice.

    Thank you Mrs.Author

    P.s to the grammar nazis, I wrote this on my phone and I don’t masterbate enough to have thumbs that are strong enough to go back and rewrite it.

  7. Anonymous says:

    So I realised no-one actually gets me and I have been stuck in a tiny group of freeloaders; should I just stick to myself and be alone
    Ps. I don’t mind it mostly because I am a introverted person.

  8. Maryann says:

    Maybe try being a little bit nicer when you right this shit. No one likes a bitch either.

  9. Kamiko Yamaguchi says:

    *write

  10. Maryann says:

    *write

  11. teelea says:

    In other words, you have Aspergers. That pretty much sums up most of the above. And if you do, you’re SOL.

  12. Kamiko Yamaguchi says:

    Who are you calling autistic? Me? Or yourself? Maybe you’re just talking To yourself because thats what it sounds like.

  13. FullOfShitPlanet says:

    I asked google why I don’t have any friends when I already know the answer , it’s because I live in Miami and I don’t use cocaine or drink alcohol. Thats the real answer , second answer to why I don’t have any friends would be that the rest of the world has these 18 problems as described above and I don’t have these problems. So ya this city Miami and possibly the planet is ass backwards and alienating against any and all people who don’t use cocaine or crack or heroin or alcohol or whatever the new drug class is. It’s a Drug Class of people now so either you are a drug addict or you don’t have friends. Call it negative call it what you want , it’s really called “the truth” and you just can’t handle it so your gonna talk shit about my comment, well thats all it is crack head so go smoke your glass dick and stick it to your mother. Illuminati is real and they want us all divided and alone, they are the ones who put these drugs in our cities and towns. And they who ever “They are will burn in eternal heal” Anyway I still enjoy my life as a loner and a illicit drug free individual.

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