Not everyone was born with the gift of gab or even the ability to talk to someone they don’t know. If you are a shrinking violet, take heart. Shyness isn’t a disease or incurable. Learning how to be outgoing is more about confidence, feeling worthy, and knowing that you have something to contribute.
Underneath every introvert is a person who just needs to feel confident and comfortable in their own skin. Being outgoing is about nothing but knowing that you have nothing to lose.
How to be more outgoing – 12 tips that make all the difference
Don’t misunderstand me; there is nothing that is better about being extroverted versus being introverted. Each personality lends something to the world that is incredible. But, if you are looking to become someone who reaches out more than internalizing in, it is pretty simple.
The key to learning how to be more outgoing is by letting it ride, not worrying too much about what people think, and in the end, having fun and enjoying life.
Take it one step further… when we meet people, we have a decision to make. Do we keep it surface and small talk? Or, if we find something intriguing or fun about them, and do we take the chance to ask them to go out again. [Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 perfect conversation starters with strangers]
If you meet someone that you get along with, don’t be afraid to throw out the “we should do this again sometime.” Sometimes we miss out on the best friendships by being shy or not wanting to be rejected. After all, what is the worst that someone can say?
Rejection for asking to get together again is typically not up front anyway. It usually comes in the form of not answering later on. You lose nothing by at least throwing it out there, but you lose a ton by not. So here are some tips for how to be more outgoing.
#1 Try to say yes more than you say no. If you are someone who is more apt to say no, than to say yes and do something fun and spontaneous, then try to say yes even when you don’t want to. There is a certain comfort that we find in staying within our boundaries. That is true for both introverts and extroverts. Being outgoing is about saying yes more than saying no. [Read: 18 easy ways to become more spontaneous in life]
#2 Find your comfort zone. We all have a comfort zone that allows us to be our genuine self. There are conditions where we feel safe being in our element. And then there are others that make us withhold who we are out of fear of rejection.
If you want to learn how to be more outgoing, then you have to decide for yourself where your comfort zone lies and stay within it. Hey, not everyone is a swinger or wants to stand on the bar going Coyote Ugly. But, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be the life of the Jenga party! [Read: 5 powerful ways to break out of your comfort zone]
#3 Birds of a feather. Being outgoing is about finding out who you are and what type of crowd you can shine in. If you are the sports jock or the computer geek, then you need to give yourself a break and realize that some people and situations bring out the outgoing part of you, but others can make you clam up and shut down. If you can find your birds and flock with them, you can be the outgoing you that you want to be.
#4 Be on home turf. If you want to learn how to be more outgoing, invite people to your home-base. Sometimes being in familiar surroundings can help you feel more confident and allow more of you to surface. Being outgoing includes opening your own environment up to let others in.
Having a party at your house, or choosing a meeting place that is comfortable to you, puts you in your element and can lend some self-confidence to the social situation. [Read: Why introverts are much more than just shy and awkward]
#5 Build confidence. Another tip for how to be more outgoing is to be more confident in who you are. If you believe yourself worthy of someone’s attention and engaging in social situations, then you will be naturally outgoing without knowing it.
Being outgoing involves just saying what you want, when you want, and being a part of the in the crowd by being yourself. The more practice you have to be outspoken, the better. A more confident you equals a more outgoing you.
#6 Ignore negative experiences. As humans, we seem to give more weight to negative situations and to downplay positive ones. If you want to learn how to be more outgoing, you have to look on the bright side of things and realize when things went well instead of when you felt like someone turned off the mic.
The truth is that not everyone is going to love you, and not every time that you try to be comedic or entertaining are you going to be. But, it is more helpful if you can remember and relish the good than to hold onto the bad. [Read: 15 ways to always be someone who says, I love my life!]
#7 Stop internalizing things. There are times when someone has a hang up and won’t like you simply because they have issues that have nothing to do with you. If you try to put yourself out there and someone shoots you down, let it go.
A huge part of learning how to be more outgoing is letting go of things that aren’t your fault and to stop putting the weight of everyone’s world on your shoulders. Not everyone is going to think you’re awesome, but if you don’t put yourself out there, you will never give anyone the chance to get to know you.
#8 Meet people through mutual interests. The best way to be outgoing is to have something to talk about. It is hard to be engaging and outgoing if you have nothing in common. Having different interests, or not even speaking the same social language, is setting up a self-defeating scenario.
If you want to make friends and be outgoing, target people who have similar interest instead of wasting your time trying to be friends with someone who you have nothing in common with. [Read: How to meet like-minded people who think just like you]
#9 If you feel like staying home… don’t. The best times are had when we don’t want to go out, but convince ourselves we do. It is way more comfortable and easy to go home after a long workday, but there is nothing but the ordinary waiting for you at home.
If you want to know how to be more outgoing, it involves going out with co-workers, catching a last-minute concert, or being someone’s plus-one, last minute.
#10 Give people a second chance. Introverted people have a tendency to try once with a group or someone, and if it isn’t immediate love, then it is over. If you want to be more outgoing, then you have to be open and forgiving when things don’t go as expected the first time around. With more tries comes familiarity… which breeds confidence.
That can lead to outgoingness. So, if you didn’t enjoy someone’s company upfront, consider the fact that it was a bad night, bad circumstances, and that if you give it another chance, things could go famously. [Read: 10 motivational tips-n-tricks for shy people and introverts]
#11 Try new experiences. If you want to know how to be more outgoing, it is about trying new experiences. People who are more introverted typically set boundaries about what they will and will not do.
The fun to be found in life is when doing things that are outside the box, and outside the confines of what we typically set for ourselves. Outgoing people go for it. They take chances, and they push themselves to do things that aren’t comfortable. So, give it a try… whatever it is. [Read: How to make real friends outside your social networks]
#12 Keep in contact with old friends. Nothing can make you feel more comfortable than old friends. Like a pair of old shoes, once you put your feet in them, you can dance the night away.
It is important to make new friends, but sometimes meeting them is easier if you have the backing and comfort of the people who know and love you most. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is comforting, and the other is exciting.
Some people think that you are born either introverted or extroverted, and that is just the way that it is. Being outgoing is not an easy thing to do. It takes confidence, going outside of your comfort zone, and not caring about rejection.
[Read: How to make new friends as an adult – 15 easy ways to do it right]
The good news is that if you put yourself out there and risk being rejected, the feeling of acceptance is worth way more than any rejection that you may encounter. And now you know how to be more outgoing!
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A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...
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