Who says an introvert cannot be more outgoing? Grow your confidence and learn how to be friendly and talkative with these steps.
Not everyone was born with the gift of gab or even the ability to talk to someone they don’t know. If you are a shrinking violet, take heart. Shyness isn’t a disease or incurable. Learning how to be more outgoing is about confidence, feeling worthy, and knowing that you have something to contribute.
Underneath every introvert is a person who just needs to feel confident and comfortable in their own skin. Being outgoing is about nothing but knowing that you have nothing to lose.
In order to be outgoing, it takes a lot of confidence and self-esteem. It’s about knowing how to talk to anyone in the room, regardless of what they think of you. [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]
It’s being a dynamic and fun person, and showing off your personality to everyone you meet. It’s the ability to socialize and blend in, no matter what ethnicity, culture, and background you’re surrounded by.
What is an outgoing person like?
Extroverts are outgoing people. They always want to try new activities and meet new people. According to some experts, extroverts are more likely to be happy and less likely to suffer from certain mental illnesses due to their optimistic side.
The most defining feature of an outgoing person is that they thrive in socializing with others. In contrast to being introverted, you’re the opposite of being reserved and awkward. In social events and parties, you perfectly know how to be the life of the party and blend in.
No matter if it’s a complete stranger or a friend you’re talking to, you know how to talk to anyone. You also gain more energy by going out, rather than being alone. You’re more energetic and well, yourself, when you’re surrounded by a group of people.
That’s an outgoing person, by definition. What about you? Are you an extrovert or an introvert struggling to get out of your comfort zone? [Read: Outgoing introvert – 16 signs you’re an ambivert caught in the middle]
How to be more outgoing – 26 tips that make all the difference
To avoid misunderstanding, there is nothing that is better about being extroverted compared to being introverted. Each personality lends something to the world that is incredible. The key to learning how to be more outgoing is by letting it ride, not worrying too much about what people think and, in the end, having fun and enjoying life.
Take it one step further… When we meet people, we have a decision to make. Do we keep it surface and small talk? Or, if we find something intriguing or fun about them, do we take the chance to ask them to go out again? [Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 perfect conversation starters with strangers]
If you meet someone you get along with, don’t be afraid to throw out the “we should do this again sometime.” Sometimes we miss out on the best friendships by being shy or not wanting to be rejected.
After all, what is the worst that someone can say? There’s no harm in trying, don’t you think? What’s worse is that when you haven’t tried at all.
Rejection for asking to get together again is typically not upfront anyway. It usually comes in the form of not answering later on. You lose nothing by at least throwing it out there, but you lose a ton by not doing so. So, here are some tips for how to be more outgoing.
1. Try to say yes more than you say no
If you are someone who is more apt to say no, than to say yes and do something fun and spontaneous, then try to say yes even when you don’t want to.
There is a certain comfort that we find in staying within our boundaries. That is true for both introverts and extroverts. Being outgoing is about saying yes more than saying no.
If you want to learn how to be more outgoing, saying yes more often is the first step! [Read: 18 easy ways to become more spontaneous in life]
2. Find your comfort zone
We all have a comfort zone that allows us to be our genuine selves. There are conditions where we feel safe being in our element. And then others make us withhold who we are out of fear of rejection.
If you want to learn how to be more outgoing, you have to decide where your comfort zone lies and stay within it. Hey, not everyone is a swinger or wants to stand on the bar going Coyote Ugly.
But, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be the life of the Jenga party! Find your comfort zone and become the best at it. Let’s see how many friends you will make at the end of the day. [Read: Powerful ways to break out of your comfort zone]
3. Birds of a feather
Being outgoing is about finding out who you are and what type of crowd you can shine in. If you are a sports jock or a computer geek, then you need to give yourself a break and realize that some people and situations bring out the outgoing part of you, but others can make you clam up and shut down.
If you can find your birds and flock with them, you can be the outgoing you that you want to be. Discovering this could help you determine easily how to be more outgoing and bring out your extrovert side. [Read: How to not be shy – steps to finally come out of your shell]
4. Be on home turf
If you want to learn how to be more outgoing, invite people to your home base. Sometimes, being in familiar surroundings can help you feel more confident and allow more of you to surface. Being outgoing includes opening your own environment up to let others in.
Having a party at your house, or choosing a meeting place that is comfortable for you, puts you in your element and can lend some self-confidence to the social situation. [Read: Why introverts are much more than just shy and awkward]
5. Build confidence
Another tip for how to be more outgoing is to be more confident in who you are. If you believe yourself worthy of someone’s attention and engage in social situations, you will be naturally outgoing without knowing it.
Do you feel more confident wearing sneakers at work than heels? Go for it! Some may say something negative about your chosen outfit, but who are they to care? Just be you!
Being outgoing involves just saying what you want when you want, and being a part of the crowd by being yourself. The more practice you have being outspoken, the better. A more confident you equals a more outgoing you. [Read: How to gain confidence and turn your life around for the better]
6. Ignore negative experiences
As humans, we seem to give more weight to negative situations and downplay positive ones. If you want to learn to be more outgoing, you have to look on the bright side of things and realize when things went well instead of when you felt like someone turned off the mic.
The truth is that not everyone is going to love you, and not every time that you try to be comedic or entertaining are you going to be. But, it is more helpful if you can remember and relish the good than to hold onto the bad. [Read: 15 ways to always be someone who says, I love my life!]
7. Stop internalizing things
There are times when someone has a hang-up and won’t like you simply because they have issues that have nothing to do with you. If you try to put yourself out there and someone shoots you down, let it go.
A huge part of learning how to be more outgoing is letting go of things that aren’t your fault and stopping putting the weight of everyone’s world on your shoulders.
Not everyone is going to think you’re awesome, but if you don’t put yourself out there, you will never give anyone the chance to get to know you.
Remember that it’s not your responsibility to please everyone, and that’s your right to keep. You need to just stop overthinking things to an extent and just let it all go. You can’t control everything, you know? Being an outgoing person means letting go of the weight of the world on your shoulders. [Read: Imposter syndrome – 36 causes, signs, types & ways to stop feeling fake]
8. Meet people through mutual interests
The best way to be outgoing is to have something to talk about. It is hard to be engaging and outgoing if you have nothing in common. Having different interests or not even speaking the same social language is setting up a self-defeating scenario.
If you want to make friends and be outgoing, target people who have similar interests instead of wasting your time trying to be friends with someone who you have nothing in common with. Like mixing oil and water together, it’s impossible to make it happen. [Read: How to meet like-minded people who think just like you]
9. If you feel like staying home… don’t
The best times are when we don’t want to go out but convince ourselves we do. It is way more comfortable and easy to go home after a long workday, but there is nothing but the ordinary waiting for you at home.
If you want to know how to be more outgoing, it involves going out with co-workers, catching a last-minute concert, or being someone’s plus-one at the last minute.
The choice is still yours whether you want to stay in during your off day at work or go to parties with your buddies. Just get yourself out there and well, socialize! Have fun! [Read: Don’t stay stuck – 16 strategies to learn how to get your shit together]
10. Give people a second chance
Introverted people tend to try once with a group or someone, and if it isn’t immediate love, then it is over.
If you want to learn how to be more outgoing, then you have to be open and forgiving when things don’t go as expected the first time around. With more tries comes familiarity… which breeds confidence.
That can lead to outgoingness. So, if you didn’t enjoy someone’s company upfront, consider the fact that it was a bad night, bad circumstances, and that if you give it another chance, things could go famously. [Read: Motivational tips-n-tricks for shy people and introverts]
11. Try new experiences
If you want to know how to be more outgoing, it is about trying new experiences. People who are more introverted typically set boundaries about what they will and will not do.
The fun to be found in life is when doing things that are outside the box and outside the confines of what we typically set for ourselves. Outgoing people go for it. They take chances, and they push themselves to do things that aren’t comfortable. So, give it a try… whatever it is.
Have you not tried going to amusement parks and trying out one of the most dangerous rides with your friends? If not, this is the sign you’ve been waiting for.
Get out of your horizons and do something new this time around *you won’t regret it.* What’s holding you back, anyway? [Read: How to make real friends outside your social networks]
Now, this is the fun part of learning how to be more outgoing. Nothing can make you feel more comfortable than old friends. Like a pair of old shoes, once you put your feet in them, you can dance the night away.
It is important to make new friends, but sometimes meeting them is easier if you have the backing and comfort of the people who know and love you most. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is comforting, and the other is exciting.
Some people think that you are born either introverted or extroverted, and that is just the way that it is. Being outgoing is not an easy thing to do. It takes confidence, going outside your comfort zone, and not caring about rejection. [Read: Good friends are like stars – 18 ways to build lasting friendships]
13. Practice being more curious about people
Overthinking is a common trait among people. Many of your conversations were plagued by the difficulty of deciding what to speak about.
Get to know the other person instead of worrying about how you sound or what other people think. In doing so, your brain begins to generate questions that may keep a discussion continuing. You start talking more often. [Read: 15 thought provoking questions to leave you curious and wondering]
14. Be warm to people
Sometimes, you have these strong feelings that people wouldn’t like you, and that’s normal. Did it start when you were in elementary school? Did you feel back then that the other kids wouldn’t want to be friends with you?
If you want to learn how to be more outgoing, dare to be warm to people first and see the results yourself. To meet and make new friends, approaching first is the best way. [Read: How to make friends in a new city – 15 ways to feel at home again]
15. Stay longer in uncomfortable situations
For example, if you’re nervous about talking to a stranger, you may want to end the discussion as quickly as possible.
Keep talking with the person even if it’s unpleasant, even when it may be awkward. Meeting new people isn’t always easy, and it requires time, patience, and effort. [Read: How to confront someone when you loathe uncomfortable interaction]
16. Identify and fight your limiting beliefs
You may feel self-conscious and constrained if your inner voice acts like a harsh critic who points out your flaws. Having low self-esteem makes it tough to be confident and extroverted.
Your self-limiting beliefs are reflected in these thoughts. It’s essential to confront these assumptions since they might impede your progress.
It’s not going to work out if you think you’re incapable of interacting with others or being sociable. [Read: How to respect yourself – secrets of self-worth and self-belief]
17. Share small things about you
When we talk to someone, we need to disclose aspects of ourselves that make us approachable and outgoing. This is something people are always hesitant to do.
Learning about the people around you will be easier. However, to gain the trust and admiration of others, they must first learn a little something about you. [Read: How to improve yourself – 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]
18. Don’t fear rejection
Is the fear of rejection making you lonelier than ever? You are not alone.
The reason why many people fear rejection is understandable. If it’s happened to you once or more, you may remember how painful it was and worry it may happen again.
However, fear of rejection might prevent you from aiming higher. With a little effort, it’s totally feasible to change this mindset. [Read: Asking a girl out – how to overcome the fear of rejection]
19. Start with small steps
If you feel too overwhelmed and not sure where to start on this journey of change, take it easy and start with small steps. You may want to establish contact with the people around you.
Smiling at people is easy and effective. Greeting other people may get you a chance to strike up a conversation. [Read: 17 life secrets to smile more often, feel great & laugh your stress away]
20. Accept who you are and own your flaws
Nobody’s perfect, and believe this, you’re the only one paying that much attention to your own flaws. Maybe the reason you’re not outgoing is that you cannot imagine others liking you for the things you hate about yourself.
If you want to reach out and connect, you must first accept who you are and own your flaws. [Read: How to overcome insecurity issues and reclaim power over your life]
21. Maintain eye contact
Maintaining eye contact helps you exude confidence and gain the trust of the other person. Here’s the tip if you struggle with it: when you’re talking to someone, use the 50/70 rule.
This means that between 50% and 70% of the time, you should maintain eye contact. Do this while you’re talking and also when you’re listening. [Read: Prolonged eye contact when flirting – what it means & how to do it]
22. Avoid speaking in a monotone
When someone tells you a story, you want to be moved along with it, experience the feelings, and understand the significance of every word. A monotone speaker is a complete dealbreaker. So, try highlighting the words with your voice, focusing on your pace, and using expressions!
23. Use assertive language
Why do you have to be assertive when speaking? Some people may think that assertive language is when you’re arguing with someone. This is completely false.
When you’re using assertive language in a conversation, you have the best chance of getting your point through without being aggressive. When you communicate in a passive or aggressive manner, people may be too preoccupied with responding to you to actually hear what you’re saying
24. End your social interactions on a positive note
If you want someone to like you, always end your social interactions on a positive note, something like, “See ya later!” Invest your time in creating a good first impression.
By doing this, you give the person you’re talking to the feeling that you enjoy spending time with them and you’re easy to get along with. [Read: Importance of first impressions – secrets to help you make a good one]
25. Find a place to take a break
Do not pressure yourself to socialize if you’re simply not in the mood or your social battery has run out. No matter if you’re in the middle of the party, don’t push yourself to the point where you get a panic attack.
Excuse yourself and find a quiet place for a break, like going outside for fresh air or going to the bathroom. Your friends will understand.
26. Give yourself permission to leave earlier
If taking a break is still not enough, you can just leave earlier. You don’t have to stay until you’re the last person at the party. The point is to have more fun, not feel absolutely miserable.
Why do you want to be more outgoing?
Being outgoing isn’t impossible, even for introverts. But before you try these tips, make sure you’re doing this for the right purposes. Ask yourself why you want to be more outgoing. Are you doing this for yourself or someone else?
Change is good only if you’re doing it for yourself. Don’t force yourself to go out and party just to impress someone, be distracted from the problems in your life, or gain society’s approval. There’s no “right way” to live your life as long as you’re happy and healthy.
The learning process of how to be more outgoing won’t be an easy ride
Introverts can change their behavior and become more extroverted, but it must be deliberate and challenging. There will also be varying amounts of success for introverts in the quest. When it comes to social settings, some introverts may imitate extrovert traits to get by, but they may never feel entirely at home with them.
When introverts practice extroversion regularly, they may discover that extroverted actions become more accepted and even welcomed. [Read: How to make new friends as an adult – 15 easy ways to do it right]
Learning how to be outgoing is all about executing proper confidence, body language, and social skills. Once you get the hang of these, you should be okay!
