Players and cheaters. Most people have probably had the unfortunate privilege of meeting, dating, and trying to avoid them at all costs. Just because you might prepare yourself for the thunderstorm and pack your umbrella, doesn’t mean you won’t get wet.
Players often hide behind the guise of a nice, honest gentleman, who will treat you with nothing but respect. But the minute you let your guard down and let him into your life, you’ll start to get that nagging suspicion that something’s not right. Before you even know it, you’ve been played, dumped and left heartbroken in one fell swoop.
How to spot a player
Spotting a player is just a matter of observing little signs that point to his womanizing ways. Here are 7 of those telltale signs.
#1 Wandering eyes. You don’t have to be dating a guy to tell if he’s probably a player. At the gym recently, I witnessed first-hand a guy turn to check out a girl’s butt who was walking in front of me, to then see him turn back around, face me, and smirk. You know the kind of smirk basically saying “‘sup girl” without actually saying it?
When I see guys with their girlfriends, or married men walking behind their wives at the mall, who literally think they are slick when they turn around to check a girl out, words like disgusting, pathetic and slime come to mind. As women, we all know the whole look-over-the-shoulder-neck-turn-checkout routine, and it’s not slick!
The point is, if you have any type of connection that is more than just friends, and you catch his wandering eyes checking out other girls in front of you, don’t waste any more of your time on him. Chances are, he’ll do more than just stare when you’re not watching. [Read: How to keep your guy’s eyes from wandering]
#2 “Parents love him.” If you’re talking to a guy who says something like “parents love me!” then you should immediately know he’s good at saying all the right things, or so he thinks. A guy that says parents love him is saying he’s in control, that he knows all the right things to say and it’s a walk in the park for him.
It could get you wondering why he has to affirm this, when you can get a chance to witness it firsthand. The mere fact that he has to declare this “talent” to you can signal that he’s better at announcing it than proving it. [Read: Want him to prove it? Here are signs it’s time to meet the parents]
#3 He tunes in and out often. Have you been talking to a guy that will be blowing your phone up constantly one day, and then you suddenly won’t hear from him for over 24 hours? Do not think for a single minute that you should check up on him, sending him texts letting him know you’re worried because you haven’t heard from him.
He’s not hurt, he’s not been captured by zombies, he’s not been taken by aliens, and he’s not stranded somewhere on the side of the road without cell phone service. He’s not responding because you either said something extremely offensive, in which case you should review your previous conversation, or he’s out there with his philandering ways. [Read: 15 sure signs he’s just not that into you]
#4 Strong and fast. It’s one thing to feel you might be falling in love with someone you recently started dating. It’s another to actually say “I love you” to that someone. If you are dating a guy, or have been talking to a guy for a very short amount of time, and he’s already told you he’s in love with you, he wants to marry you, surprises you with some random ass piece of jewelry, or anything else that feels like the setup of a Lifetime movie, then you are dating a player.
If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t give it up to the guy telling you stupid things like he’s in love with you and wants to marry you within just days of knowing each other. It’s those smooth words that get the players laid. [Read: 10 reasons saying “I love you” too soon sucks]
#5 He’s cheated before. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Personally, I’ve been cheated on, but I never stayed with the loser to find out if he would and will always be a cheater. If you have recently started dating a guy, and you know his last relationship ended because he cheated, the probability of him cheating again is pretty high.
If you happen to be the “other woman,” you know, the girl he cheated on his last girlfriend with, the probability of him cheating on you is even higher. Seriously, what’s to stop him from cheating on you, when he cheated on his last girlfriend with you? If something looks like a duck, walks like a duck, acts like a duck… You know, it’s a duck.
#6 He won’t be your friend on social media. If you are dating a guy who says he’s never friends with any girls he dates on Facebook, or that he doesn’t even know why he has an account because he doesn’t even use Facebook, or any other lame excuse where he’s trying to justify you two not being friends and connected on social media, he’s a player.
If you are dating a guy who actually likes you, I can assure you he will have no problem being friends with you on Facebook. After all, it will make communication easier, right? If you spot him changing his display picture, despite him insisting he doesn’t go on Facebook, then that’s a huge red flag right there.
#7 Maybe all the time. If you’re talking to guy and he always replies with things like “I’ll see,” or “Hmm, maybe” after you’ve asked him if he wants to hang out later, or tomorrow, or even next week, then you are dealing with a player. That’s because he’s probably not sure if he’ll be out on any dates with other women during those times, so he’s keeping you hanging until he gets bored. [Read: Is he into you for all the wrong reasons?]
Getting played sucks, so it’s better off to back off from the players before you end up getting hurt. Use these techniques to spot a player, so you can keep him at a distance.
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