There are some guys out there who don’t give the rest a great reputation. They draw you in and make you think they’ll be the best guy in your life only to leave you crying on the floor because he really just wanted sex. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the reality sometimes. But you can avoid it if you’re aware of the signs he just wants sex.
Thankfully, some guys make it very clear they’re only using you.
What’s hard is if you get attached and then try to tell yourself he’s different, that he’d never do that to you because you care so much about him.
Unfortunately, some guys do use women for sex. Not all, granted, but some do.
Far too many people have become totally attached to a guy who clearly only wants one thing, but they convince themselves that at some point, he’ll change his mind. If he’s showing you that sex is all he wants, trust us, that’s all he wants.
[Read: Why do guys only want to hook up with me? And all you want is a boyfriend!]
The main thing to understand here is that most guys don’t actually want to hurt you. They usually just have commitment issues they have to work out or think you just want sex, too.
There’s usually a misunderstanding of sorts when you find out he’s just into you to get laid. It’s also important to remember that this isn’t all guys – it’s only some. Don’t tar everyone with the same brush!
But, this is all hard to deal with on its own. You thought you were being perfectly clear and you thought all those late night mushy texts meant he cared far more than he truly does. It’s really not your fault.
Some guys are masters at reeling in a girl, getting what they want, and then deciding that’s not what they want anymore. [Read: 10 sneaky techniques guys use to get in your pants]
This double standard is obviously super annoying. Guys can go out and get sex all the time without being called any bad names but when women do, they’re labeled as sluts and skanks. It’s not fair and it’s not right.
Why do guys get to have shameless casual sex when women can’t? Most of it has to do with the fact that women are supposed to be “reserved” in the bedroom.
We’re not supposed to be oversexualized beings. Women are supposed to remain modest. Guys are allowed to do whatever they want sexually because they’re just that, guys.
Society tells them it’s okay and it tells women it’s not. [Read: 10 casual relationship rules to keep it just casual]
If you’re someone who seems to get guys easily but just can’t get them to stick around for more than sex, you could be giving off the wrong vibes. Here are the possible reasons he only wants sex and how you can fix them and find love.
Before we talk about these signs and reasons, however, know one thing – if you have sex with a guy too soon, you talk about sex a lot, or any other reason, that doesn’t mean it’s fair what he’s doing.
You can have sex with a guy on the first date and want a relationship. It doesn’t mean that you’re only after one thing too. Know that you’re not the one in the wrong here. But, by understanding the behaviors that guys might take to mean they can get away with this kind of thing, you can avoid heartache. [Read: What does a casual relationship mean to a guy and your future?]
Having sex right away when you start dating someone new sends a clear sign that you’re not looking to settle down. Usually, you want to get to know someone before hopping in bed with them.
If you met someone out at a bar and hooked up with them that night, they won’t really take you seriously as a potential girlfriend. Slow things down the next time you meet a guy you actually like. Get to know each other on a deeper level first. [Read: Having sex on the first date – Should you give in to the urge?]
Now, we’ll be the first to say that what you joke about should never be taken seriously but guys always will if it’s about sex. Making sex jokes all the time shows a guy that you have a dirty mind.
Obviously, he’ll think you’re a sex-crazed woman who only wants to hook up. You need to get to know someone a lot better before you show them that side of your personality. Show them you can be the girlfriend-type and joke about sex.
Meaning, guys don’t know what you really want. If all you two do is hook up, they’ll assume that’s it. They can’t read your mind and when you make it seem like you don’t want a relationship, they’ll take that seriously.
A great way to avoid this is to just tell them you’re looking for something more than great sex. If they know this, it’ll make them adjust their behavior. They’ll either be into it or not. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a better love]
AKA, you accept being their booty call. If you want a relationship with a guy, you need to show them that a 2am hookup isn’t on your list of things you enjoy. The more they get those hookups, the more they’ll think you want them just as much as they do.
Basically, you like the guys who don’t want to commit. They may like you and have sex with you, but they also like hooking up with other people.
And that means they won’t be the ones to want to settle down. If you keep going after guys who don’t want anything more than sex, you’ll never get anything more than that. [Read: The signs of a toxic boyfriend that should make you move away fast]
This is a huge double standard but it’s the way guys are. If you want to land yourself a boyfriend, you’ll just have to adjust your behavior slightly so you don’t seem like a hookup girl. Wrong? Yes, but there’s nothing fair about any of this.
You need to act like a commitment girl. Meaning, doing things that are very girlfriend-like and less like the girl he only wants sex from.
Bashing on relationships all the time will not make a guy want to date you. If all you do is talk about how crappy relationships are, why would he think you want to be in one?
You need to stop doing this. A lot of women do this because it makes them sound cool but really, it’s only driving away great guys you like. You can talk about wanting a relationship but talk about wanting a relationship with the right guy. [Read: Commitment phobia and 15 things you say and do that make guys think you don’t want to commit]
Why would he want more than sex if all you ever want to do is hook up with him? You need to spend quality time outside of the bedroom with a guy so he can see how great you really are.
You don’t really get to know much more about one another other than what you look like naked if you’re always having sex. He only wants sex because that’s all you ever do and it’s all he knows with you. [Read: Too much sex? 15 signs to know if your sex life is well balanced]
Obviously, if you like someone and find them attractive, you’ll definitely be all over them. And regularly having sex will definitely make you want to initiate it more. However, that’s not always a good thing.
You always trying to have sex with them will make them think that’s all you want, too. Maybe they really wanted to sit and watch a movie with you. By going for sex when you could be getting to know them, you’re sending a very clear message about what you want. [Read: High sex drive – 15 scientific reasons you have it and what to do]
Women need to learn that guys can’t read our minds. Hell, they can hardly even read signals that you want more than just sex. You need to be open and honest and tell him you want more.
To do this, just tell him that sex with him is great but it’s really just a bonus to his great personality and you’d like to have more with him. Most of the time, he’ll be surprised by this in addition to being flattered.
Believe it or not, you can tell pretty early on whether or not he wants something real or he’s just in it for the physical fun.
Now you know the reasons why he might think he can get away with this kind of behavior with you, here are some of the signs he just wants sex that you might be missing. [Read: Is he using me? 12 signs a guy is using you and only pretends to care]
When you initially met, how interested did he really seem? This is important because a guy who likes you immediately and tries to be engaged with you is someone who wants more than sex. If he seemed uninterested until you got flirty, he may just want sex.
You didn’t really discuss anything of value because he probably didn’t care to. To him, the most important thing about you was probably the color of your underwear. [Read: 60 questions that aim to get to know someone deeper]
Whenever he compliments you, it’s never about how funny you are or how smart you are. It’s always about how hot you are or how great you look naked. These aren’t the compliments of someone who wants you for more than your body.
Everything ends up turning dirty and naughty. You can be having a great conversation about your day and what you did but he’ll always turn it sexual.
Even if you try to get things back on track, he’ll distract you with sex-talk and you’ll end up sexting.
Basically, you’re pulling the weight in the relationship until it comes to sex. Then he’s usually the first to initiate any discussions about it or even hookups.
This is one of the biggest signs he just wants sex that you have to look out for. [Read: 10 booty call moves that may be disguised as true love]
Whenever you talk, it’s always the same old stuff. He doesn’t really make an effort to get to know you past what you look like naked. You feel as though he probably doesn’t even know you at all.
He’s never made you think you’re in one and he’s never brought up being in one. A guy who actually likes you and wants to be with you will definitely at least talk about relationships. If this guy doesn’t, he could just be using you. [Read: He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship? How to deal with it]
One of the signs he just wants sex is that you never really go out. Even if you complain about this, he could distract you by saying something about how all he wants to do is curl up with you.
But really, he doesn’t want it to become more of a relationship. Staying in also makes for easy sex.
If you think about it, you probably don’t know much about him. Guys who just want sex from girls often don’t divulge details about their lives. They keep to themselves and really just tell you the most basic stuff. [Read: Why doesn’t he like me back? 31 reasons why guys do this]
Because he doesn’t want you to think he wants a relationship, he’ll probably keep you away from his friends.
A guy who only wants sex will have zero interest in you getting along with his buddies. So he just won’t introduce you. Basically, his friends may not even know about you.
Think about it. Other than your physical attraction for each other, is there a connection? You may not even know enough about him to determine that if all he wants is sex. But ultimately, you just can’t find connections and don’t know why you’re even hanging out with him other than the sex. [Read: 15 reasons you’re bored with your relationship]
This is a huge sign and probably the most important. Do you have sex every time you’re together? And who starts it?
If it’s him and you always end up doing the dirty, he probably just wants you for sex. Someone who likes you for YOU won’t need to get in your pants each hangout.
He basically uses excuse after excuse not to hang out until it’s over. Just to keep you around, he might agree to hang out at least once during this time. Otherwise, he’ll be busy with work or friends or literally anything else until it’s over.
And he doesn’t care about what you want in bed. Ultimately, your foreplay probably doesn’t last very long because he’s not really interested in getting you off. He’s more worried about getting his own jollies and that’s it. [Read: 9 awkward signs you’re having bad sex with your lover]
Trust your gut. We have instincts for a reason and if you feel like he only wants you for sex – which we’re assuming you do since you’re here – then he might.
Think about all these signs and ask yourself if you feel like he cares about you. Believe us, if a guy cares about you, you’ll know it. [Read: Do men have feelings? Why they act like they don’t care]
Even though you have a niggling doubt about this guy in the pit of your stomach, you might still end up developing feelings for him. It happens, so don’t beat yourself up about it.
What you need to remember is one very important thing – you will never change him.
Far too many women stick around in toxic relationships because they think that eventually, the guy is going to wake up, realize how amazing they are, and want to have a full-blown, committed relationship with them. All their past behaviors will be forgotten and they’ll never stray. It’s unrealistic. [Read: Should I give up on him? 17 things that aren’t going to change]
If a guy is showing you the signs he just wants sex, that’s because he really does just want sex. He doesn’t want a relationship.
And for sure, at some point in the future he might, but do you really want to stick around and wait?
He may never arrive at that point and in the meantime, you’re wasting your life waiting around for something that may never come your way. You might pass over someone who is totally right for you, because you’re stuck on this guy. [Read: Foster girlfriend – Do you always seem stuck in this role?]
Don’t do it. No matter how much you like him, let him go.
Have some fun if you must, but don’t stick around and wait for what he’s telling you he doesn’t want.
[Read: 17 sordid signs you’re just a hookup and nothing more]
Knowing the signs he just wants sex can save you a lot of trouble, drama, and heartache. Just make sure to communicate your concerns so you can get to the bottom of it and hear what he has to say.
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
LOVEPANKY IN YOUR INBOX
Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox!