With the several movies and shows we’ve watched about falling for married men, it’s now a shock to find out how common it is. However, before pushing through with this, you need to find out the things to know before sleeping with a married man.
This is quite probably the worst situation you can enter. He appears to be the perfect man for you and you can’t help falling head over heels for him – except you don’t want to because he’s married. And he probably will never be yours.
[Read: 20 signs a married man is in love with you and wants something more]
The answer to this question depends on what your intentions are. If you’re simply looking for some fun in your life, then this could potentially work out. Personally, I would tell you to run away *very fast*. No matter what angle you look at, you won’t get anything good dealing with a married man.
Even if your intentions are just casual, it can still complicate things *especially when his wife catches both of you*. If you’re so in love with him and you want a relationship with him, then unfortunately, the odds of this happening as slim to none.
There are billions of people in the world, why must you limit yourself to just one person? You can try, but the result isn’t going to be good. Falling for him or even just sleeping with him is already complicated on its own.
Even if he claims that he’s in an unhappy marriage or that they’re separated *but not divorced*, she’s still legally his wife. On paper, that actually counts as something.
[Read: The reality checks when you’re in love with a married man you should always ask yourself]
When you meet a great guy, you probably can’t believe your luck. You’ve finally met one who is not only mature, funny, good-looking, sexy, and charming, plus he showers you with attention at the same time.
However, you suddenly notice a wedding ring on his finger, or maybe his wife calls. You’re in a very complicated situation, which calls for a cry for help.
[Read: 15 signs a married man is attracted to you and why you should run for the hills]
The worst part is – what if he has children? In this feature, we’ll be listing down the things to know before sleeping with a married man.
If someone you meet who you believe to be wonderful can cheat on their spouse, doesn’t that mean that anyone can? This is one of the most important things to know before sleeping with a married man. It’s kinda scary how people can cheat so easily if you think about it.
Before sleeping with him, realize that there’s nothing romantic about this. Even if society or the media romanticizes affairs, there’s nothing good you can get from a married man. No matter how perfect he seems, no matter how much you think you can’t control your emotions, you won’t get real love from a married man – you’re the secret fantasy no one ever knows. [Read: The painful realities of being the other woman you haven’t thought about]
Just think of how innocent their wife is in this game of cheating and betrayal. If you were in her position, wouldn’t you feel angry that the one person you trusted with your life is unfaithful to you? You might be asking – what if you didn’t know they were married?
Obviously, this is different but right now, you probably have awareness of the situation. Why do you continue to push through sleeping with a married man even through all that knowledge of betrayal? [Read: How to forgive yourself for cheating and stop beating yourself up]
This is probably the problem with watching way too many romance movies that lead you to believe that sleeping with a married man can make him choose you over his wife. However, one of the things to know before sleeping with a married man is that he’s not going to just leave his wife for you.
Why would a man uproot his whole life and throw it away for you, when he’s already getting everything he wants from you? He has your love, he gets to have sex with you, he has his own wife and a stable family life. This is the perfect setup he needs!
Even if the sex is the greatest experience of his life, marriage is different than you think. It’s a commitment for better or worse, even if he is cheating on his wife. Most married men who have affairs stay with their wives, get found out by their wives or keep the secrecy for a long time until they can’t anymore.
In addition, if they did leave their partner for you, would you ever trust them completely bearing in mind how your partnership began? Don’t you realize that if he left his wife for you, he can easily repeat the same pattern to someone else?
He’s not going to leave his wife. The earlier you accept this truth, the better. [Read: 14 signs you’re going to be the side chick even if you believe you’re his main girl]
The idea that you’re contributing to cheating and betrayal to his wife isn’t something that feels comfortable to anyone *unless you’re a “professional” cheater*. Guilt can manifest in many different ways. As we mentioned earlier, the most common way is a lack of trust in men from that point forward.
The relationship will likely end and when it does, that guilt and shame will manifest in uglier ways in all your future relationships. After all, who wants to hear that their partner was willing to sleep with someone married?
Feeling constant guilt is one of the things to know before sleeping with a married man. [Read: How to overcomes insecurity issues and reclaim power over your life]
You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into the minute you found out he’s married. You might be innocent when sleeping with him, but everything you do after you found out has consequences. If you continued to stay and have harmless dates with him even after learning his marital status, you’ll seriously hurt yourself.
Often, sex leads to emotions – especially for women. Not many people can manage to separate the two. In that case, you’ll be left chasing a man who doesn’t want to be completely caught. He’s never going to be yours completely because if anything, all of him is his wife’s as long as he’s married.
One of the most important things to know before sleeping with a married man is if you get caught, while he takes the majority of the blame, you go down along with him.
Especially as a woman, you’re expected to not ride along with cheating, provided women should empower one another. Even if you’re not famous, you’ll have the reputation of condoning a cheater and liar.
The point is, even if you weren’t the one that cheated, you still were involved in that unjust action. You believed it to be okay all because you were falling for him or sleeping with him.
[Confession: True story – I had an affair with a married man and this is what happened to me]
You shouldn’t even be shocked by this one. The fact that he betrayed his wife’s trust to sleep with you means he’s also capable of lying *and very good at it, too!*. You should be very careful of believing the words that come out of his mouth. When he tells you something about his wife, don’t always believe him.
He might lead you to believe that his wife is incredibly toxic or that his wife cheated on him first. Until you hear the other side of the story, don’t be so fast to trust him. If a guy is happy to cheat on his partner, you cannot trust the words he is telling you either.
He wants to get into your pants and he’ll tell you everything you want to hear until he gets what he wants from you.
As hard as it is to say and hear, you are no more special than his partner. You probably heard this saying – once a cheater, always a cheater. If you were to trust anyone, a cheater should be the last on your list. [Read: The 13 types of affairs men have and the reasons behind each of them]
You can’t change the fact. No matter what angle you look at your relationship from, you’ll always be the other girl. Honestly, you deserve so much better than to be the other girl. Would you really be willing to settle for a married man and a secret relationship just because he’s the only one available?
He might make you feel like you’re on top of the world, but this feeling often won’t last.
One of the things to know before sleeping with a married man is that you will probably be labeled with many names that you don’t deserve or don’t want. You have zero control over it. [Read: How to stop being a side chick – you deserve to be the main dish]
One of the things to know before sleeping with a married man is you’ll never have all of him as a whole. Similar to the point above, you’ll always be sharing him with his life. In addition, you’ll have to go through extremes just so his wife doesn’t find out.
Really, why are you willing to put yourself through all that? There are so many men in the world who aren’t married and are willing to give you more than him. It just takes patience to find the right one. [Read: How do affairs start? The ways they play out in real life]
When you compare his loyalty for you to his family, he’s obviously going to choose the girl he married. For all you know, you’re just a simple booty call for him. Even if he’s cheating, when an emergency happens, he would drop everything just to attend to his family.
He probably wouldn’t have the same urgency if he found out something happened to you. No matter how much you push yourself to him, you’ll never become at the top of his priorities.
No matter what you’re looking for in your relationship with him, he won’t give you what you’re expecting. Even if by some miracle he does leave his wife, he won’t marry you. Men who have affairs often fear marriage, even if they’re the first ones who cheated.
He’d have this negative perception of marriage altogether so even if he commits to you as a boyfriend after leaving his wife, that’s all he’s going to be for the rest of your life.
One of the things to know before sleeping with a married man is to know exactly what to expect with what you’re getting yourself into. I mean, really get it in your head.
[Read: Secret relationship – Why would someone want to keep things low key?]
If you had the choice, it’s best to walk away from any kind of relationship with him. He’s great and almost perfect, but he’s married. This isn’t a complication you’d want to get yourself into.
When you sleep with a married man *and fall for him entirely*, there’s no going back. The damage is done and you already contributed to infidelity and cheating.
We know it’s hard to take a step back even when you know the whole truth. The thirst is real, the addiction is heady, and the thought of spending time with him is irresistible.
Now there is a sliver of a possibility of a happy ending, if you’re in love with a married man who’s a part of a twosome that doesn’t confine themselves to the traditions of marriage.
If he’s in an open relationship, perhaps you could get his affection, but would you be okay knowing he’s sleeping with other women too? [Read: Open relationships and why so many couples find it perfect]
Or if he and his wife are looking for a unicorn or a third partner for a throuple, this may work very well for you too because you now get the unconditional love of two other people. But is that what you’re looking for? [Read: The three-way relationship and how it’s very different from an affair]
So if you’re wondering about the things to know before sleeping with a married man, these are all the things you need to remember. And most importantly, before you fall too hard for him, ask yourself how you see things ending eventually. Do you see even the slightest possibility of a happy ending that’ll end in your favor?
[Read: Dating a married couple – What you need to know BEFORE you consider it]
These things to know before sleeping with a married man might sound harsh. However, sex isn’t everything, especially when it gets in the middle of a marriage. It’s just not worth the hardship and lies.
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