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How to Get in the Mood for Sex: Get Horny & Beat the Dry Spell

Sex is fun. When we’re really into it, it’s mind blowing. Sometimes you’re just not in the mood, which is fine. But you can learn how to get in the mood.

how to get in the mood for sex

There are times when I don’t want to have sex. Maybe I had a bad day at work or some family drama which completely distracted me. This is completely normal. You’re not going to be horny every single moment of the day for the rest of your life. But sometimes you want to know how to get in the mood.

Your day isn’t always going to go as planned and when you come home, the last thing you want to do is have sex. In fact, curling up into a ball under the covers sounds more alluring.

How to get in the mood

Now, sometimes, this slump turns into a couple weeks or months. Again, it’s fine if you’re not in the mood. If you find yourself in prolonged periods of not wanting sex, it’s time to change that. It can be difficult on both you and your partner.

So, if you want to get yourself in the mood, there are things to do to revive your sex drive. You’ll be surprised that these tips don’t all revolve around sex, contrary to popular belief. [Read: 12 powerful ways to make yourself horny]

#1 It’s all in your brain. Though the vagina is a power reproductive organ, the real boss behind your sexual drive is the brain. The vagina is essentially controlled by the brain. If your brain isn’t stimulated, nothing is going to work. If you’re stressed at work, thinking about family, or feeling self-conscious, these all have drastic effects on your sexual drive. Look in your head if you’re trying to figure out why you’re not in the mood. [Read: 13 signs it’s time to break the dry spell]

#2 Get sleep. Sleep seems to be the cure for almost everything, because well, it works. Getting an adequate amount of sleep in order for your body to feel fully rested. If you’re not well rested and feeling lethargic, you won’t be in the mood to have sex. So, though we joke about not getting enough of sleep when in a relationship, sleep will help you have a better sex life. [Read: Safe and natural ways to increase your libido]

#3 Take a trip to the gynecologist. Now, I’m not trying to scare you, but going to the gynecologist for a checkup isn’t a bad idea in general. It’s always good to rule out all the options of why you have a low sex drive at the moment.

It could be stress, a hormonal imbalance, or depression. This doesn’t mean you have a health condition because you have a low sex drive. There are tons of reasons as to why. But your gyno will be able to rule out some important reasons.

#4 Take time to unwind. Stress is usually a huge factor as to why you’re experiencing a low sex drive. Now, this doesn’t mean it has to be like this forever. You just need to make some small changes. At the end of the day, take some “me” time. If you want to know how to get in the mood for sex, start by taking a bath for twenty minutes and read a book or listen to some relaxing music. Go for a walk, lay in the sun. You need to take some time to reconnect with yourself.

#5 Get active. This seems to be a remedy for many issues, and that’s because it actually works. Just because you’re not feeling sexual doesn’t mean that you should just let go altogether. Physical activity releases testosterone which is the trigger for sexual desire. Pick an activity that you enjoy taking part in that way, you won’t have a problem keeping up with it on a daily basis. [Read: 25 inspirational tips to motivate you to work out]

#6 Healthy tummy, healthy mind. Are you seeing now how everything’s connected? The body works as an entire unit. If you’re not feeling sexy, well, you can literally eat your way to it. There are certain foods which give your libido a natural boost.

Try peanut butter, bananas, and honey, these all contain vitamin B. Celery contains androsterone which aids in female attraction. If you’re trying to figure how to get in the mood, use a quick fix and try these foods out as snacks or incorporate them into meals. [Read: 10 foods that’ll get your sex drive to skyrocket instantly]

#7 Ease up on the bad habits. If you haven’t been told to stop smoking, well, I’m telling you now–stop. Cigarettes greatly affect your libido as they constrict your blood vessels, preventing proper flow to your genital area. And, lemme tell you, you need that flow for sexual stimulation. So kick that habit to the curb.

#8 Learn about yourself. Perhaps there’s a certain time in the month where you feel a decrease in libido. This is completely normal. Typically, during the 24 to 28 days in a cycle, women feel more aroused than normal. So, take your calendar out and start marking your cycle. There are even apps for that so don’t worry, it’s easy.

#9 Do what makes you feel sexy. It’s important that you do things that make you feel sexy. Maybe it’s wearing a new piece of lingerie, creating a sensual atmosphere or wearing a pair of sexy heels. The point is, whatever makes you feel sexy–do it. It’s important that you feel sexy, this will help you get into the mood easily. [Read: 25 horny ways to increase your sex drive and keep it high]

#10 Touch yourself. You don’t need a partner in order to help you get into the mood. Of course, it can help. However, you should try to work on this on your own as well. Pick a comfortable place, create the right atmosphere, and go at it. Reconnect with yourself, you lost the connection, but you can get it back.

#11 Change your mindset. Stop thinking that you have a problem, it’s a dry spell. It’s not the end of the world. You can change this. If you think that it’s hopeless, and you’ll never be able to get your sex drive to where it was. You’re wrong. Try to change the way you look at this situation in a more positive mindset. [Read: 15 signs your sex life is well-balanced]

#12 Be naked with your partner. Don’t be scared to strip down with your partner and just be naked with them. This doesn’t mean you have to have sex right away. Just lay naked with your partner. Touch them, feel their body and have them feel you.

Get back into the sensual side of lovemaking because that’s where you’ll be able to relax and find your libido.

[Read: 17 sexy foreplay moves to get you hot and horny]

Now that you know how to get in the mood, the next time you want to get yourself into it, try one of these tips. Let’s get your sex-drive back on track.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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