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How to Be Charismatic Even If You Weren’t Born with the Mojo

Charming people are usually born not made. Take heart, even if you are a meek mouse, learning how to be charismatic is at your fingertips.

how to be charismatic

We all know those people who are like magnets, don’t we? It isn’t really about their looks alone, although they are often good looking, there is something more they possess. Charisma is a sort of magical charm that draws people in and makes them desirable. If you ask how to be charismatic, although typically something you are born with, you can pick up charm along the way.

Charismatic people are light-hearted, charming, and inclusive. They make everyone feel good just by being around. The secret to their charm isn’t in what they do, it is what they do for everyone else. When with a charismatic person, they make you feel good about being you. [Read: 10 simple tips to avoid being rude in any situation]

How to be charismatic – 9 easy steps to own the room

Yep, although it might seem like you just want to be around them because they are fun, it is really about how they make the people around them feel inside. If it sounds confusing, it really isn’t. We like to be around people who make us feel important, lovely, interesting and worthwhile.

#1 Listen. When you think about someone charismatic, it is easy to think about what they say that charms you. But, what you don’t see is that it isn’t really in what they say as much as it is that they listen to you.

Charismatic people know what you want to talk about. They know about the things that you care about. This is because of one small and most significant thing, they not only listen to what people say, but they remember it, take it to heart, and use it when they have a conversation with you.

If you tell them something important about yourself, they not only remember, but bring it up when they see you. That makes people feel worthy and worthwhile. So many times, what we say to people goes in one ear and out the other. A charismatic person listens to what you say, commits it to memory, and remembers to ask and care about it the next time they see you. [Read: Stop being a conversational narcissist: Learn to be a better listener]

#2 Compliment. They always make sure to have a compliment in their back pocket without always seeking the approval of others. In fact, they work to bring out the best in everyone around them by complimenting what makes us all unique.

It is a special quality to be able to give someone a compliment on a small level, but a continual one. It raises everyone in their path up an inch on a consistent basis, so everyone in their wake feels confident and good.

#3 Use humor to gloss over unhumorous things. No one likes Captain Obvious or Debby Downer. If you want to know how to be charismatic, it is about knowing how to find humor in the most unhumorous times.

Instead of focusing on the serious, someone charismatic finds a way to take a grave situation and turn it into a challenging one by having everyone’s heart lifted by the one thing that heals anyone’s soul—humor.

But, be careful, they don’t find humor in singling people out and making them the butt of jokes. They find it in the day to day and make light of whatever hardship you carry without belittling you. [Read: 12 types of humor and how it affects relationships]

#4 Be generous. Charismatics are generous people. They are the first to chip in both monetarily and physically. Rolling up their sleeves, believing that they aren’t too good to help out, and always giving of themselves makes them beautiful to be around.

They also aren’t a pushover who will do anything. Their goodness comes from a place of equity and kindness, not of obligation.

#5 Always look on the bright side. Charismatic people are optimists. They are always capable of seeing the bright side of any situation, even when it is a little harder to spot. People who always take lemons and make lemonade out of it are always more fun to be around than those who take lemonade and sour it.

If you want to know how to be charismatic, it is about always presenting the positive and minimizing the negative.

#6 Make everything possible. People who are charismatic don’t take no for an answer. However, not in an irritating and hassling way, they just show you all the possibilities that you might not see on your own.

They take a super arduous situation and make it seem easy as pie. The one who always rallies the troops, charismatic people lead because they convince everyone winning is not only possible but simpler than you think. [Read: 10 tried and tested ways to become a better leader]

#7 Find the thing that makes someone tick and brings it out. Being charismatic is about knowing how to treat everyone differently according to who they are and what they need.

Charismatic people don’t just schmooze indiscriminately, they find out what makes someone tick. Then they foster that talent and excitement in them to bring out the best and to make everyone be the best “them” they can be. That is why charismatic people tend to be managers and leaders. They see people’s strengthens and maximize them.

#8 Don’t dominate the conversation, include even the meek mouse. Charismatic people engage everyone in what they are doing. If they talk to a crowd, they don’t dominate the conversation, they ask for everyone’s opinion and care about what each individual thinks instead of steamrolling over them.

Making everyone feel empowered to find their niche and to accomplish something, is how they lift people’s spirits and make them feel good about me. [Read: The 9 rules you need to become a better person]

#9 Be exciting. It doesn’t matter if a charismatic person talks about toilet bowls or yachts. Whatever it is they talk about, they get you excited. Not used to monotone or idle chit-chat, charismatic people are enthusiastic and engaging even about the most mundane things.

Most charismatic people are born with a personality that is engaging, friendly, and commands leadership. It doesn’t mean that if you weren’t born with a whole lot of charm, you can’t do the things necessary to have people eating out of your hands.

How to be charismatic means caring about what other people think, feel, and what their individual needs and strengths are. By learning to read what people want and need, anyone can become charismatic.

[Read: 9 sure-fire ways to be a more charismatic person]

Learning how to become charismatic boils down to making other people feel good about themselves. This ingredient makes others want to be in the presence of someone charming.

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Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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