If you think you might be attracted to a woman and want to experiment with that feeling, then you’ll no doubt be gearing up to have your first-time lesbian experience.
Many women, at one point or another, find themselves fantasizing about having sex with another woman. While for some it simply remains a fantasy, there are those who want to experience what it would be like to be with another woman.
Of course, there are those who just see it as a one time thing, a way of fulfilling that sexual fantasy they’ve always dreamed about. Others realize that it is more than just a fleeting sexual desire and decide they want to be with women going forward.
Whatever your reason for wanting to be with a woman, the first-time lesbian experience might feel a little daunting. If you’ve only had sex with guys before, or if you just haven’t had sex with anyone before, it’s no wonder that your nerves are at an all-time high.
Women are quite different than men in the way they give and receive pleasure, so doing things differently in the bedroom than what you would do with a guy is definitely important – after all, there’s not a lot that’s the same when it comes to what’s going on down below, so it’s a good idea to prepare yourself in advance!
How to have a first-time lesbian experience
So how do you have a first-time lesbian experience? Here are some useful tips, as well as some things to think about in the bedroom too. [Read: What is it really like to have a lesbian experience?]
#1 Where to meet someone you might hook up with. In reality, if you are looking for a first-time lesbian experience, then you should head to a well-known lesbian bar. This is by far the easiest place to find a girl who you’ll want to go home with and who wants to go home with you.
Dating apps are also good for this, you can find girl-specific ones or simply use a generic one but set your profile up for girls who like girls! If you’re feeling a little nervous, this can be the best way as you can initially just look through pictures of girls, find matches, and have conversations with them, without any pressure.
Though in a bar, you can always have a few glasses of wine or whatever you fancy to give you a bit of dutch courage! [Read: What it really means when you’re a straight woman who has lesbian fantasies]
#2 How to approach them. If you see a girl you like the look of, then you’ll have to pluck up the nerve to go up to her. Approaching a girl is really just like approaching anyone. Just be friendly, ask questions to get the conversation flowing, and look out for signals that she is interested in you too.
If you aren’t sure, try a bit of flirting, hold her gaze, give her a compliment, or subtly touch her arm. If she responds in kind, then you know you are onto a winner!
#3 How to initiate sex. If you are getting along great and flirting that’s the first step, but of course, not every girl wants to go home with you on the first night! Still, if you are feeling the vibes and want to go through with your first-time lesbian experience, then it might be up to you to make the move.
You could suggest a night cap at your place, going somewhere else, or just getting some fresh air. If she is keen to leave with you, it’s a good sign that she might end up going home with you too! [Read: How to tell if another woman is attracted to you]
#4 First-time nerves. It’s natural that you are going to be nervous the first time you have sex with a girl. Let’s face it, the first time having sex with anyone new can feel a bit daunting. However, it’s not surprising that this situation would have even more added pressure.
You might feel like you have absolutely no idea what you are doing, but that’s okay. Try to stay calm, be natural, and relax into it – that way, things are more likely to flow.
#5 How to communicate. Great sex is all about great communication. If you feel like you are going to fall apart and scream ‘I have no idea what I am doing!’ in her face at any second, then try to reign that in, and instead ask her what she likes and ask her to show you.
There is no harm in getting a little guidance to help you along, and if it means that she leaves satisfied, then it will definitely be worth it. [Read: How do lesbians have sex? 10 truths on girl on girl sex]
#6 Thinking about protection. Of course, you can’t get pregnant if you indulge in a little girl on girl action. You can, however, still catch STDs. You could choose to use a dental dam when having oral sex, or latex gloves, and always remember that if sex toys are involved, they need to have been properly cleaned first.
#7 How to relax. Remember, sex should be fun! If you are having your first-time lesbian experience, it is better not to ruin it by being all tense. Try, if you can, to remember that while sex is sexy and hot, it also can be silly and awkward and weird at times.
So, don’t assume just because you are having sex with a woman that things won’t happen that might be a little strange – or not as you planned. As long as you are able to relax and find the funny side, you are so much more likely to have a good time! [Read: A straight girl’s view on why she finds lesbian porn so much hotter]
#8 The anatomy of a woman. We all know that the anatomy of a woman is quite different than that of a man. There are some of the things you might like to think about!
– Boobs. You might feel a bit like you don’t know what to do with them, but boobs play a big part in lesbian sex, so it is time to get involved. Stroking, sucking, gently caressing the breasts, and even lightly pinching the nipples can all add to the sexual intensity, so make sure you don’t avoid her boobs altogether. [Read: Nipple play – How to pleasure a girl by focusing on her breasts]
– The clit. The good thing about lesbian sex is that you are a woman, therefore, you know what a clit is and where to find it! Make sure you spend lots of time stimulating it and think how you would like it done to you as a guidance point. However, remember that everyone is different, so if in doubt, just ask!
– Erogenous zones. There are plenty of erogenous zones on the body that aren’t just the obvious ones. Make sure you spend plenty of time touching and caressing her all over, Take your time and do it slowly, and you are sure to send her wild with desire. [Read: The top 10 erogenous zones that drive women wild in bed]
#9 What counts as sex? Often those having a first-time lesbian experience aren’t sure what actually counts. There are no hard and fast rules around what ‘counts’ and what doesn’t.
The general consensus seems to be that if you are heading south of the border, then you are participating in a sexual act, and therefore, are having sex. It’s more important that you both have a great time and lots of fun, rather than trying to prove you actually ‘did it’ though!
[Read: Are you bisexual or a lesbian? How to understand your true desires]
Whatever your hopes and dreams are for your first-time lesbian experience, try not to be disappointed if they don’t all come true. Sex between two people takes time to perfect, so just enjoy it for what it is!
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