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How to Make a Narcissist Miserable & Make Them Burn with Rage

how to make a narcissist miserable

Narcissists are a difficult breed, but learning how to make a narcissist miserable is not that hard. Is it the best way to get revenge? Probably not. 

When you’ve been slighted by a narcissist or you’re just frustrated, it’s easy to want to get your revenge. My advice? Don’t bother. A narcissist will always turn everything around. In the end, you’ll be the one to blame – apparently, at least. However, you can learn how to make a narcissist miserable. In some ways that has a slightly productive vibe because it cuts off the narcissistic supply. 

Being around a narcissist is a difficult, frustrating experience at best. For those who are in relationships with narcissists, I won’t need to tell you anything about the difficulties because you’re already aware. 

A true narcissist is someone with NPD, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but the very low diagnosis rate means that there are countless people walking around with the disorder that don’t even know it. There are also many people who have strong narcissistic traits, but who just fall short of the criteria for NPD diagnosis. None of this makes it any easier to be around this type of person. 

Let’s explore this idea of how to make a narcissist miserable some more. Because there are some very powerful ways to do just that with the smallest of effort!

[Read: The narcissistic supply and how to stop giving them the attention they crave]

What hurts a narcissist the most?

Narcissists hate it when you call them out on their behavior and back it up with proof. They hate it even more when you do that in front of other people, especially those who they are trying to impress. A narcissist loves to get their own way. When you deny them this and humiliate them in some way, you’re really grinding on their nerves.  

Narcissists are, underneath it all, pretty shaky when it comes to confidence. They might not appear that way on the surface, with their illusions of grandeur and all that over the top energy, but when you scratch at the surface, you’ll find their constant need for validation is there for a reason. They’re actually not that confident at all. 

[Read: Why do people fall for narcissists when they know they shouldn’t]

How narcissists react when they don’t get what they want

When a narcissist doesn’t get what they want, they either lash out verbally *and sometimes physically*, become passive-aggressive, or they give you the cold shoulder and attempt to make you apologize for whatever it is that you’ve apparently done. They never assume that maybe there is something that they’ve done wrong, or maybe they should apologize themselves – that never flags up on their radar. 

[Read: 16 subtle signs a narcissist is abusing you]

When you look into how to make a narcissist miserable, you’ll pretty quickly see that it all comes down to not doing what they want you to do and not allowing them to shine in the way that they want to shine. It’s not easy to make them miserable, but you should be ready for the consequences if you really do want to make the narcissist in your life suffer a little for their actions.

Personally, I wouldn’t recommend it. If you’re really that keen on making them suffer, the single best way to do so is to get out of their life and move towards a better future for yourself. That’s the single best way to get your revenge, because it focuses totally on you and your future growth. 

However, I can totally appreciate that there may be situations when you can’t walk away from the person; perhaps they’re your work colleague or maybe it’s a family member. In that case, management and boundaries are key. 

[Read: How to handle a narcissist without falling apart and losing yourself]

What is narcissistic rage?

Before we get into learning how to make a narcissist miserable, let’s talk about narcissistic rage and narcissistic supply for a minute. 

When someone has NPD, their personality disorder causes them to act in a certain way. They’re not able to process criticism and they see everything as a personal slight. They must be the very best of the best and their self-importance means that anything they deem to be insulting, they take extremely badly indeed. This leads to narcissistic rage in many cases. 

Narcissistic rage is a very strong emotional outburst of anger. It’s normally verbal, but it may be physical. In some cases, the outburst actually goes inwards and the person chooses to remain completely silent. However, their body language will be extremely aggressive, and you’ll have no doubt about how they feel. 

[Read: How to handle narcissistic rage and handle their angry backlash]

What is narcissistic supply?

So, what is narcissistic supply really? This is the thing or person who is supplying them with the praise and validation that they need. When you cut the narcissistic supply, i.e. stop validating them or criticize them, this leads to narcissistic rage. [Read: What is narcissistic supply and how to stop giving this to them]

How to make a narcissist miserable 

If you really want to poke the bear and learn how to make a narcissist miserable, it’s actually not that difficult. However, do be warned that any of the above tactics will probably lead to rage or aggressive silent treatment. You need to be sure that you can handle it, or walk away so you don’t have to handle it at all. 

#1 Don’t give them any attention. Positive or negative, narcissists love attention. If the attention is negative, they’ll assume that the person is just jealous and reframe it in their own mind to be praise. When you don’t give the narcissist the attention they crave, they’ll despise it. 

#2 Stick to the facts and avoid emotion. Narcissists have to be right about everything and that often means twisting things and creating their own version of reality. When you stick to cold, hard facts that can’t be denied, you’re making their reality even harder to stick to and prove. This is one of the best ways when learning how to make a narcissist miserable because you’re creating a challenge that they have no idea how to conquer. 

#3 Sticking to your boundaries. In order to be around a narcissist, you need to set boundaries and stick to them. This is a way of coping and managing the situation, and it’s vital.

However, narcissists hate it when you voice a boundary and actually stick to it. They’ll push you to see if you actually mean what you say. When you really do go through with the consequence you promised, they’ll be miserable. [Read: How to set boundaries with a narcissist and weaken their hold over you]

#4 Refuse their demands. It’s not just about refusing to show them attention, but refusing to do what they want. Narcissists don’t have the word “no” on their radar; they expect you to do everything they ask because they’re amazing. Why should you refuse? That’s their reality, at least. However, when you say “no” and don’t bow to their requests, they literally hate it.

#5 Give them an ultimatum for commitment. Narcissists cannot be held down and they hate commitment. However, they also don’t want you running out of their life either because it means that they’ve somehow failed or lost control. If you give them an ultimatum and force them to commit, you’re sure to make them miserable. However, I wouldn’t recommend this one because, let’s be honest – do you really want this for the rest of your life? [Read: How to predict when a narcissist will end your relationship and walk out]

#6 Push them to be around someone in authority. How to make a narcissist miserable? Push them to answer to someone who is above them in authority. They hate this! They want to be the best of the best, and the one that everyone looks up and answers to. Having to answer to someone else is likely to cause a huge amount of misery to a narcissist.

#7 Calling them out in public. Calling out a narcissistic in public is one way to infuriate them and make them downright miserable. They do not want to be cast in any light other than extremely flattering. If you humiliate them in some way, they will despise the situation. You should also be prepared to be given the cold shoulder afterwards. [Read: What is the worst thing you can do to a narcissist to hurt them?

#8 Failing in some way. Narcissists hate to lose. However, they don’t often put themselves in a situation where they have to prove their ability because that may shine a light on their possible inadequacies. If a narcissist does lose at something, they’ll blame everyone around them and call it a fix.

They will not admit that it was their fault or their lack of knowledge that caused the loss to happen. Learning how to make a narcissist miserable is easy if you make them face up to their failures.

#9 Make it very clear that you’re not falling for their act. A narcissist is a master manipulator. If you make it more than clear that you know what their game is and that you’re not falling for it, you’ll notice how defensive they get. This is probably when they will automatically turn on the charm and try and love bomb you, so be warned. [Read: What is love bombing? The 5 essential signs to spot the manipulation early]

#10 Be spontaneous. Narcissists must be in control and when you’re spontaneous and throw things up into the air, ruining their routine, they do not like it one bit. This is one of the best ways when learning how to make a narcissist miserable because it’s so easy to do.

[Read: The complete guide on how to deal with a narcissist in the best way possible]

Understanding how to make a narcissist miserable means going against the things that they need to build up their illusion of self-importance. However, risking the wrath of a narcissist is never something you should do for entertainment purposes only.

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...

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