Narcissistic duping delight is what the narcissist lives for. Learn to avoid giving them their joy by knowing the signs and save yourself heartache.
The term narcissist is thrown around so much these days, it’s easy to assume that it’s a mainstream term. A true narcissist isn’t someone you want to meet. They will take your life, flip it upside down and create a world of pain, simply for the hell of it. Why would they find joy in manipulating and taking what they want? The fact that you can’t understand narcissistic duping delight and their motivation is a good thing, it means you’re not one.
A narcissist is someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD. This means they revel in manipulating others for their own gains. They have an inflated sense of self and completely lack empathy. A narcissist cannot love in the same way as a person who isn’t affected by NPD. In fact, they can’t love anyone other than themselves. [Read: How to be on the lookout for duper’s delight and avoid being made a fool]
It’s easy to fall foul of the advances and manipulation of a narcissist, especially if you’re not sure of the signs. This is someone who will turn on the charm, get you where they want you and then manipulate your mind and isolate you from your loved ones. It’s usually a little too late in the day before you realize what is really going on.
So, what do narcissists get out of all of this? Narcissistic duping delight, that’s what.
[Read: Understand what it means to be in a relationship with a narcissist]
What is narcissistic duping delight?
Narcissistic duping delight is the thrill someone gets from lying or manipulating another person. It’s a “I can’t believe I got away with this” type of feeling, and it’s easy to spot if you know what to look for. A person with duping delight usually can’t contain their glee; they’ll give a quick smile at an inappropriate moment or exhibit body language that completely goes against what their words are telling you.
On the other hand, narcissistic duping delight is usually harder to spot. Narcissists are masters of disguise and cover their tracks like a pro. Of course, they’ve had years of experience, so it’s no surprise that they find it easy.
Narcissists are addicted to the game of manipulation, but at the same time, they believe it’s their right to do so. They don’t see any harm in making you do something that you might not want to do, or causing you to feel upset about something they’ve said or done. All they’ll do in that case is gaslight you into believing it was your fault at the start.
[Read: Are you being gaslighted? 14 signs someone’s messing with your head]
Narcissistic duping delight can generally only be spotted once you come to the realization that you are dealing with a narcissist in the first place. Only then can you start to unpick their behavior and see it for what it really is. Before that, it’s borderline impossible because you’re completely under their spell.
Of course, if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, coming to terms with the fact and doing something about it is extremely difficult. Many people stay in these kinds of relationships because they see no way out.
They’ve been manipulated so much that they start to question their own sanity. They’ve been pulled away and isolated from their friends and family and they feel that they have to rely upon the narcissist for any sense of worth.
[Read: Narcissistic victim syndrome: Is it possible to find your way out of this mess?]
The good news is that a lot of people do find a way to leave a narcissistic partner, despite the fact they go through a lot of emotional pain and upheaval in the first place. It’s never not worth it, and that much I can tell you from personal experience.
No matter how hard it seems at the time, things will become so much easier, and you can and will be happy again. You shouldn’t have to give your life to a person who simply drags their narcissistic duping delight from you every single day.
[Read: How to set boundaries with a narcissist and weaken their hold over you]
How can you spot a narcissist?
At first, it’s extremely difficult. This is a Jekyll and Hyde-type of creature. They’ll be extra charming at the start. In fact, they’re probably a little too good to be true. If you really want to be on your guard, perhaps that’s the point that alarm bells should ring.
Remember, nobody is perfect! If someone seems like they’re as close as possible, pull back a little and keep your walls up for a while longer. Do not let those walls down until you have solid proof that you’re fine to do so.
The best way to really be able to spot a narcissist that you’re involved with is to listen to those around you. Normally, if someone becomes engrossed with a narcissist, completely at their mercy, their friends and family members can see it. They’ll warn the person, but they’ll also probably ignore the advice. Keep their advice in mind and don’t cast it aside. It’s a huge red flag if several people are saying the same thing about a person.
[Read: Why you should run if you experience these early relationship red flags]
Narcissists also have hugely inflated egos, but they may appear vulnerable. Narcissistic duping delight can be spotted in its early stages, if you’re not completely hooked. For instance, does the narcissist smile in a sly way when you know they’re lying? That’s a key sign to look for. Do they seem to be extremely pleased with themselves, but you get the odd feeling that you’re being manipulated?
You might assume that you’re under someone’s spell completely if you’re being manipulated, but it’s not always the case. In the time before you’re completely hooked, you have a voice inside of you that’s telling you something isn’t right. Trust and listen to that voice. It’s your intuition telling you that this person isn’t everything they seem. Perhaps they enjoy their narcissistic duping delight at your expense.
[Read: How to follow your gut instinct with some tried and true methods]
Narcissists use people to make themselves look good. If a person seems to always want the best things, always buddies up with people in power or influence, ask yourself why. A regular person wouldn’t really care whether a friend was someone in power or not. A friend is a friend. However, a narcissist will only have people in their lives who make them look good.
Once a narcissist starts to reel you in, their narcissistic duping delight will grow. They’ll enjoy it day after day. As the gaslighting begins, you won’t have a clue what’s happening, even if you do have a slight inkling that something isn’t quite right. [Read: How to beat a narcissist and win over their manipulation]
Please, if you do one thing, please listen to that inner voice that’s telling you this person might not be all they seem. You’re not paranoid, you’re not going crazy, you’re right, and you should trust it. Do your best to move away from this person, for your own good and for a happier and healthier future.
[Read: How do narcissists hook you – learn to dodge their toxic bait]
Narcissistic duping delight is the epitome of fun for a narcissist. Remember, you don’t need to stay in a relationship that causes you so much emotional pain on a daily basis.