Anyone who has ever been in a relationship with a narcissist will tell you that it’s certainly no picnic. This isn’t a union with a future. So, how do narcissists end a relationship?
Why you’re doomed as a couple
You might tell yourself that they will change and probably blame yourself for everything. But, the bottom line is that the relationship is doomed to fail.
Narcissists are only interested in those who make them look good. The chances are that if your narcissistic partner decides you no longer serve that purpose, they’re going to move on.
How do narcissists end a relationship? Suddenly, sharply, and probably without warning.
[Read: Why do people fall for narcissists when they know they shouldn’t?]
However, the majority of narcissists aren’t the ones who end relationships. It’s normally the partner who eventually reaches the point where they can’t take anymore. It often takes a while, because manipulation means that they start to question themselves and everything around them. But, in the end, they take the brave step to set themselves free.
It goes without saying that the narcissist does not like this. They take it as a huge slight on their personality if you decide to leave them, and they’re not going to leave it at that. It’s not unusual for a narcissist to blame their leaving partner, to turn everything around on them, to make them try and stay, and when that doesn’t work, they’re not immune to borderline stalking techniques. [Read: Narcissistic rage and how to handle their angry outbursts]
For that reason, when deciding to leave a narcissist, you have to be sure, you have to execute the plan quickly, and you have to block every form of communication you have afterwards. Do not let them see even a chink of light; otherwise, it will just fuel their desire to get you back under their control. Also, never change your mind and go back.
[Read: Do you have Narcissistic Victim Syndrome? How to find your way out of a messy relationship]
If they actually do, how do narcissists end a relationship?
In some cases, a narcissist will walk away. As mentioned, it’s probably that they decide their partner simply doesn’t reflect well on them anymore, or they’ve become too needy. It sounds terrible to say, but a narcissist is not going to stick around when times become tough.
For instance, if their partner is suddenly taken seriously ill and this is a situation which may be around for a while, they’re more likely to end the relationship than stick around. The reason? Narcissists don’t know how to be supportive.
It sounds like I’m painting a negative picture of narcissist, but truth be told, I am. [Read: How to set boundaries with a narcissist and weaken their hold over you]
True narcissists have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. This means that they can’t help how they are, of course, but they’re not going to change either. There is no treatment for narcissism. The only route forwards is cognitive behavioral therapy, and narcissists will never admit there is anything wrong with them!
In order for this type of therapy to work, the narcissist has to be open to change. They have to admit that there is something not quite right and commit to the process. This is very unlikely to happen and as a result, most narcissists go through their lives leaving a trail of emotional destruction wherever they go.
So, how do narcissists end a relationship? If they’re actually going to do so, they will do it without warning and in a harsh way. Narcissists lack empathy. They don’t feel things in the same way, they don’t have the same emotions, and they don’t connect with feelings as a person unaffected by narcissism would. So, when they decide to walk away, they’ll just do it, and they’ll probably blame you for it. [Read: How to know a narcissist is finished with you – The harsh truth]
They might be the bigger person and give you an explanation *unlikely*, or they’ll just leave and disappear off the radar *more likely*. If they do actually tell you that it’s over, they’ll list every reason why they’re doing it, and they’ll make sure that every single one of those reasons is a personal slur on you. You’re too needy, you’re too miserable, you’re not strong enough, you’re not ambitious enough, the list will go on.
Should you listen to this? No, you shouldn’t. Narcissists believe that they’re completely perfect. They can do no wrong. So, whatever the reason for the relationship not working, they’re going to blame you. The truth of the matter is that their abuse is the reason the relationship isn’t working, and it’s not possible for anyone to feel happy or uplifted when in a relationship such as this. [Read: Narcissistic relationship pattern and the 7 stages you have to face]
When a narcissist leaves…
When a narcissist leaves you, it’s a true blessing in disguise. It’s the best thing that could happen to you, because it allows you to spend some time on you and be open to better opportunities in the future. At the time, it will feel like your word has folded in on itself.
A narcissist will make you feel like they’re your world. You’ll become so dependent upon them for everything that when they leave, you’re left floundering. You don’t know yourself anymore.
In time this will pass, but in the moment it will feel like the earth has just turned on its axis. The original question is ‘how do narcissists end a relationship’ and we’ve established that they’ll do it quickly and in a way which really rips the heart out of you. There’s no preparing you for it, but if it happens, try and cling on to some sense. You will overcome your feelings and become strong again. You will have a better future because of this.
But, there’s really no use in talking about how do narcissists end a relationship because the majority of them never do. They want to keep you around because controlling you makes them feel good. [Read: What is hoovering? The games narcissists play to suck you back in]
As a result, it’s up to you to walk away. When you do this, they’re going to take extreme umbrage to it. They’ll give you the cold shoulder, the passive aggressive treatment, or they’ll go on full-on offensive. There’s no predicting which way they’ll go, but it’s unlikely to be an easy ride.
[Read: How to handle a narcissist without falling apart and losing yourself]
Your support network matters
If you want to leave a narcissist, surround yourself with a support network. The chances are that you put a little distance between yourself and your friends and family during the relationship, because that’s what narcissists force you to do. They isolate you from those closest to you, so they can control you better.
However, your true friends and family will be there waiting for you to call on them for help. When you do, they’ll be there in full force. You’re going to need them, so surround yourself with as much support as you can find.
Also, make your decision and stick to it. Never go back. If you do, your life will be hell. The narcissist will never let you forget your attempt at leaving. To keep you right where they want you, their abuse and manipulation will be turned up several notches. Stick to your plan, safe in the knowledge that it’s the right choice, no matter how hard it seems.
[Read: Is it possible to learn how to break a narcissist’s heart?]
How do narcissists end a relationship? They don’t do it often, and when they do, it’s sudden and painful.
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